(Okay, for starters, I realize this song is from the 30s (or feel free to correct me, please), but I think it suits this chapter.)
The Very Thought of You
Mama came home yesterday. I'm so glad. She's still real tired though, but Daddy said the doctor said she would be for a little while.
My friend, Camilla, and I are sitting in Chemistry when HE walks in. Rick. Well, it's really Richard, but nobody calls him that. He's ... really cute. Oh but he doesn't know I exist. Of course. Why should he?
Immediately, Camilla starts to embarrass me, "Shh! Here he comes!"
I mumble under my breath, "Can it, Camilla!"
She whispers to me, a little too loud might I add, "He's looking at you!"
I look up to see she's right.
"Well, smile or something!" she mutters to me. I'm glad she finally got the message to lower the volume.
I feel like I can't breathe, let alone move. He smiles at me the tiniest bit, and I think my heart stops. Then... he takes a seat at another table. Phooey.
I mean, why sit here with us? We're nobodies. Maybe he wasn't even looking at me after all, but instead looking out the window behind me. Yeah, that's it.
Mr. Locke invades my reverie, "Okay guys, today we're going to see how very, very small amounts of pure sodium react in water. Then, we're going to try and figure out how the power of this reaction can be harnessed in a practical way. Or, will we determine that it's not practical at all?"
I wasn't allowed to touch the sodium Friday after school, so I'm actually a little curious. Mr. Locke keeps the stuff in a vault-like cabinet.
So, we all get up and pick a station. Camilla is the first to reach hers. I hang back a minute.
"Tom, go get your own station." Camilla tells Tom White in a bored voice.
"Just wondered if you might need my assistance today, Camilla." he says.
Oh yeah... he likes her. No-brainer there.
"Nope, and I think we're supposed to do this on our own anyway." she answers.
"The first part. The second part we need a partner..."
Camilla sighs in an aggravated manner before Mr. Locke tells Tom he needs to first finish the first part.
How is it that Mr. Football player looks so cute in goggles? I guess he'd look cute in anything.
Mr. Locke startles me, "Gloria, you need to work on your lab."
Tom chuckles under his breath before he gives me a knowing look.
Oh no! I was just standing here staring at him! I'm just as annoying as Tom was to Camilla! I want the earth to swallow me up right now.
The sodium crackles like little bitty fireworks the second it touches the water. I start to imagine what it would be like if a whole lot more of the stuff were involved. No wonder Mr. Locke keeps the stuff locked away. A dumb kid could blow up the whole school! Well, okay so maybe there's not quite enough for that. For good reason I'm sure.
So... I'm supposed to write down my findings... somewhere on this paper. Great. I spilled a little water on it. Oh here it is. Let's see.... the stuff goes off like sparklers... small little explosions. Like what I feel when I look at Rick. Hm... probably shouldn't actually put that on my paper.
Before I know it, the class ends, and I'm not finished writing what I need to write! I'd spent WAY too much time daydreaming about the guy behind me.
I turn around to go gather my stuff when I notice HE'S standing there.
"Hey, that was neat wasn't it? Who knew that the stuff in salt was explosive?" he says.
Holy cow he talked to me! I freeze up.
"Yeah.. um.. well, you know. Salt has... something ... else in it." I finally respond. And for the life of me I can't remember what that is right now.
"Yeah." he smiles at me. SMILES AT ME. Then he walks off to get his stuff.
He talked to me! Wow. He DOES know I exist. Or, he did for that moment at least. And we talked about .... salt. Well that's actually kind of stupid. He must think I'm stupid. No, I won't think that.
I suddenly fantasize about us discussing salt while at a restaurant on a date. Happy sigh.
Camilla gets my attention, "Come sit on the back row with me! I'm sick of Tom pulling my hair, and he does that every time we sit on the front row."
I sit down and our music teacher, Mr. Carter, comes and sits down at the piano and starts playing right away. He doesn't even say a word to us, he just sits down and plays. Yeah. I don't get it either. I THINK maybe he's trying for some "mood music" to calm us down or something. Whatever. It's only five of us anyway. The chorus isn't exactly huge. And Tom is the ONLY guy.
But I saw a sign... the drama club is doing a musical! Whee! Drama and chorus unite! I wonder if Rick is going to audition. I don't even know if he can sing. I don't think he's in the drama club either. Oh well. A girl can dream.
Camilla talks just a little too loud for my taste, and I get the feeling that Dorothy can overhear us, "Hey, Gloria, did you see that the drama club is doing Maytime?" She giggles, "That would be so much fun!"
"Mr. Carter," Dorothy suddenly says, catching everyone's attention, "I have something I've prepared I'd like to sing, if that's okay."
Diva.
So she gets up there and bores us all to tears. Well, at least I'M bored to tears. Yeah, she sings nice, but why take up class time for your own personal need for praise? None of the rest of us do this.
After class ends, I decide to ask Mr. Carter about the upcoming musical.
"Sure, Gloria! You should audition!" He responds to my question.
"But, what about people that aren't in drama or chorus?" I ask.
"We're not going to turn away anyone that wants to try."
Good.
After Mr. Carter goes to his desk, Dorothy walks up to me. "You're not seriously considering going for the lead, are you Gloria?"
"I never said what part I was going for. And it's really none of your business." Geez I can't stand this girl.
"Well, I mean, I guess I could always use an understudy." she almost giggles.
"You know, now you've made me WANT to try out for the lead." I respond.
"You mean the male role?" she says as I glare at her. "Don't set yourself up for embarrassment, Gloria. Go for what you're sure you can get. That's my advice."
I don't want your advice. I think as she walks past me and out the door.
Who does she think she is? Fanny Brice?
I get so mad that I get distracted and miss the bus. I call my Daddy's work, and tell the person that answers the phone that I'll be waiting in the park for him to come pick me up. I finish my homework at a picnic table and then go sit on the swings.
The park is mostly empty. There's a few people playing music a little ways away. I quietly sing the tunes I recognize.
Who does she think she IS? Understudy. Heh. I ought to audition for that lead role and blow her out of the water.
But... what if she's right? What if I audition and not get it? And she does? She'll just LOVE to rub that in my face.
Maybe I shouldn't.
I think my heart just stopped beating again. Of course it did. A heart can't beat if it's relocated down in my stomach, can it?
I have a death grip on the swing chains as Rick walks over to me. Or, maybe to the swings. Or, maybe he'll walk past me and it's just a coincidence that I'm in his path...
He sits down next to me. I try my best to act nonchalant about the whole thing. This is nothing but nothing. Just two teenagers sitting on the swings because they have nothing better to do. He just happens to want to sit on the swings. Makes no difference that I'm here.
"I am SO GLAD the weather is cooling off. Those summer practices were going to kill me, I swear!" he says as he looks over at me.
He's actually talking to me again. TWO times in ONE DAY?!
He's talking about the weather. okay.... Oh geez Louise what do I say?
"I uh, yeah. It's been a hot summer. Good to have a change." I finally say.
"What did you do all summer?" he asks.
I take a deep, fortifying breath, "Mostly just hung out in my garage listening to my brothers' band. Or reading."
Oh no. He's going to KNOW I'm a dork now.
"Your brothers have a band! Amazing." He smiles at me. Again. "Are they any good?"
I nod.
"You think it would be okay if I came over to listen to them play?" he asks before his face screws up a little. "Um, sorry. I'm not trying to invite myself over. I ... uh... was just curious about the... band."
Just the band. Okay. Makes sense.
"I know you weren't trying to invite yourself over. They have another gig at Waylon's Haunt this Saturday." I say a little quietly.
"Great! I'll be sure to be there." He pauses for a moment before he asks, "Do you go to their gigs too?"
"I do lately, but I don't know if I'll go to the next one." I answer.
"Oh, there's my ride. See you later, Gloria."
He KNOWS my NAME!
Daddy FINALLY comes and picks me up. When we get home, I hear Howie playing the piano in the garage. It has to be Howie. Nobody else is that good. When I get in the garage, there's this girl there that I've never seen before. He's obviously playing for her. She looks up and smiles at me like my presence isn't bothering her. So, I have a seat on the small sofa.
When he's finished playing for her, I watch him look over at her and say something quietly. She has a sweet smile. He looks over me and smiles before heading out of the garage. I'm assuming to get the rest of the boys. The girl comes and sits down next to me on the couch.
"Hello, I'm Marian. Howard tells me you're Gloria." she says.
"Yes." What else do I say?
"He also tells me you have an amazing singing voice."
"Oh. Well, he's a little biased, isn't he?" I say with my eyebrows raised.
"So, how did you meet my brother?" I ask, eager to change the subject.
"Oh, we met at Aquarius. A few weeks ago."
Howie has had a girl THIS LONG and NONE of us have known about her?
"He was so sweet. I can't believe I found someone as interested in art as I am." she giggles.
"So, we kept meeting each other." she continues. "I um, really like your brother." she says as she blushes.
I don't know whether to laugh or look at her suspiciously. Why is she telling me all this?
"Howard keeps going on and on about how you sang with them the other night." she says.
Howard. So weird to have someone actually call him Howard.
My brothers walk in and get their respective instruments.
"C'mon, Gloria. What can we play for you tonight? And get over here and sing." Justice beckons.
I roll my eyes, but inside I AM almost dying to sing this one song. I don't know if I want to sing it in front of a stranger, though.
"Please?" Howie asks. My eyes widen in confusion. He smiles back at me.
"Fine." I say. "I need to sing 'The Very Thought of You'."
"Oh, you NEED to?" Justice teases.
"Shut up and play." I grin.
"Yes'm." he teases some more.
I'm always amazed at how my brother Justice can take a guitar and make it fill in for a whole host of other instruments.
I start to sing:
"The very thought of you and I forget to do
Those little ordinary things that everyone ought to do
I'm living in a kind of daydream
I'm happy as a queen
And foolish though it may seem
To me that's everything"
"The mere idea of you, the longing here for you
You'll never know how slow the moments go till I'm near to you
I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love"
The boys play a little. I turn my head to look over at this Marian girl. She smiles at me. I half-smile back. I'm still not decided on her yet.
As I sing the rest of it, I realize why I needed to sing this song today. Rick. I still can't believe he talked to me today. Twice.
"I see your face in every flower
Your eyes in stars above
It's just the thought of you
The very thought of you, my love"
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The Very Thought of You by Ray Noble. This link sung by Billie Holiday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPJuFxl0bxY&feature=related
