Diary of a Country Girl

Chapter Fourteen:

Dear diary,

This is the most exciting update I’ve ever had to share. My pregnancy journey is over, finally! I had my baby last night! It was the most fulfilling moment of my life! It was the most painful as well, but looking back at it now it was so worth it. I still stand by my saying I couldn’t wait to get pregnant. But nothing really prepares you for the experience except going through it and leaning on the advice and support from those around you that have. I tried to keep going with the farm chores and not let my pregnancy slow me down, but the third trimester kicked my backside.

Tre's not really a gardener, but he did his best. Onyx pitched in too. Still we had to scale down our plans and expectations. I tried to keep doing everything I did up to that point. I had to finally admit the baby was making it impossible to do all that stuff. Our baby comes first.

I’m back to wearing glasses. I’m loving them already. They’re so much easier than contacts. My life is getting so hectic that every minute I can save by not doing meaningless chores is welcome. It didn’t take that long to do all the cleaning and stuff with contacts, but I’d rather spend those minutes with the baby and Tre. I’m not that vain teenage girl anymore. I’ve come to terms with the fact that there are people who will say mean things based on how I look. Glasses are the least of what sets them off. Not like it was in school. I don’t care about looking more attractive. I got my man and he loves me unconditionally. Glasses are such a minor thing, but they make me feel confident. While the glasses were an easy change, cutting my hair wasn’t. I chickened out and decided to leave it alone for now. I had to laugh when I told my mom that. She told me to wait until my baby starts yanking on my hair and see if I still feel the same.

I had my baby shower last week. It was a simple affair. It was funny and sweet to watch how fast the guys disappeared when we started talking and laughing. I couldn’t even get a picture of them. They piled in their cars and headed off for a day of male bonding. It's funny to watch them get all uncomfortable at the sight of a group of women seated around a table laughing and talking.

It was just my mom and my best friends. I should say moms. Consuela is much more than a mother-in-law. Most of them are moms themselves. They're such a blessing in my life with their advice and support.

Even if I hadn’t known they were moms, their presents gave them away. They gave me such thoughtful and helpful gifts. I'm always one of the women who buys her friends toys for their little ones. Now I see motherhood from their side. I don’t know if I’m going to be a good mom. I hope will be. If I am I know my mom will be the reason why. I couldn’t have asked for a better role model. I know I'm gushing but she is my heart and soul.

So now we get to the best part, our baby. While Consuela was here for the shower she pulled me aside for a little talk. She knew my due date was anytime now so she wanted to give me a little last minute advice. She waited because she didn’t want to worry me too much. She said if Tre was anything like his dad, when I went into labor he was going to lose his mind. She just wanted me to know so I didn’t freak out myself if and when it happened. I was so glad she mentioned it because I had wondered about that. I thought Tre is so level-headed he’ll be my rock. I have nothing to worry about. We were snuggled up sound asleep when my labor started.

Consuela was right. Tre lost it.

While I got dressed Tre regained his composure, sort of. Enough to get me to the hospital safely. I warned him if he killed us I was going to kill him. Yeah I said it. In my condition I can be forgiven. It's not the dumbest I said all day. I still had one more stupid comment in me.

I guess it was seeing the hospital, or Dr. Bradshaw, but reality sank in for both of us. This was happening, we were leaving here with a brand new life to look after, to care for, and nurture. Tre switched gears quickly. I was so happy to see that. And would have been even happier if I’d known what was about to happen. I hope what they say, “the first is always the worst”, is true. Because let me tell you honey, it was no cake walk.

I remember my mom saying she had a long labor with me. Like mother, like daughter. My initial exam showed I was only 2cm dilated. Four hours later I was only 3cm. Dr. Bradshaw had me get up and go for a walk to see if that helped speed things up.

It didn’t. I was still a long way away from being dilated enough. Then she had me use a yoga ball she had brought in.

When that still didn’t work she had me lean on Tre and just gently sway back and forth.

Still not much change. All of that I was only half way. She said she could induce if I wanted. She stepped aside and let Tre and I have a moment together.

We decided to go ahead and have her induce labor.

It worked. Oh Lord, it worked. The contractions got really intense.

Dr. Bradshaw had mentioned there was a small chance for complications from inducing labor so she had me moved to the room next door just in case. I’m happy to say there were no complications.

Just pain.

Lots of pain.

I’m so happy to see the end of swollen ankles, back pain, morning sickness, but every bit of it was worth it when I got to hold little Kya Grace, in my arms. We found the name Kya by accident. Once we saw the meaning it was so perfect for her. It means 'sky diamond' in Swahili. It has many different meanings around the world, but that one just fit. She was conceived on top of Mt. Komorebi after all.

 It was such a happy moment. Sure at one point I screamed that Tre was not allowed to ever touch me again as long as he lived. I’m embarrassed I said that, it’s so cliché. I did say I had one more stupid comment in me. The truth is, a large part of me can’t wait to go through it all again. Someday.

Seeing the love and joy in Tre and Kya’s eyes, when he got a chance to hold her was everything. I just wanted to melt. I can already tell she’s got her daddy wrapped around her little fingers. Every time I think it’s not possible to love Tre anymore than I already do, life shows me it is.

“Babe, we’ve had so many wonderful, crazy, beautiful adventures in the short time we’ve been together. This is better than all of them put together. I don't know how else to say it, this is one of the best days of my life. Right up there with finding you."

"I’m scared to death too. I just hope I can be the father and husband you both deserve. Whatever happens from this day on, we'll face it together. Everything I do will be to give you and Kya the best life possible."