Do you have full autonomy on? You can find it under Options>Gameplay. While this might not totally solve your problem, it should help. I like to play full households, to the point where I have adjusted how many Sims per household, via MCCC. I then focus on the target Sim of the moment, knowing the others will tend to themselves for the most part. Sometimes, if there are child Sims or younger, you the player must step in from time to time.
You'll find your style just in playing the game, for the most part. I'm a family player, but I'm also into having my Sim be an incredible Superstar, Rock Star. (I have a mod for that.)