It seems trivial I guess but out of every 3 or 4 times I have a toddler hug a parent (to fulfill a whim) the parent refuses the poor kid. It gives them a double negative hit to their relationship (2 red minus-marks) aside from pretty much crushing the kid's mood. It's especially frustrating when it occurs right after the parent in question has been spending oodles of time with the kid, playing and/or teaching, and their relationship is nearly full. Conversely I've also had 'angelic-traited' toddlers refuse to be comforted by a parent with high relationship after a nightmare or death, yet have no problem immediately ASKING for that comfort (when I switch control). Speaking of the interactions between parents and babies/toddlers, WHY ON EARTH do parents (who are cooing and laughing and loving their babies) LOSE fun while doing this? I don't see how that makes any sense at all- parents, especially parents of newborns, delight in spending time with their babies, but Sim parents laugh and coo over their babies and their fun need steadily decreases. WTH? Especially when they're doing the silly faces interaction- HOW are they LOSING fun points while making silly faces HAPPILY with their babies?!?!? I would fully expect to see that fun meter filling up with the joy of parents playing with their babies and toddlers. Fix it, guys. -_-

It's even worse now with the whole "Sentiments" system in place. I just had a toddler try to hug her mother, and not only did the mother refuse, which caused a dip in their relationship, the mother got the "Hurt" sentiment toward the child, the tooltip text for which is: "<mother> feels wronged by <toddler>. and being around <toddler> will remind <mother> of that pain." All this because the mother refused the toddler's offer of a hug. It's asinine. (If anything, it should have been the toddler that got the "Hurt" sentiment toward the mother.)

@Gednaa "Meanwhile no more kids for Loveday and his spouse! I separated Loveday from his family and put him in a haunted house for two weeks as punishment! He was very upset, being family orientated. Nobody missed him. Angel raised the kids himself and aged them up to children, then Loveday moved back in and nobody seemed aware he'd been gone! lol" Oh my goodness... I love it! You sound a lot like me in my play style. No shenanigans or mean Sims allowed in my homes. I've been known to hunt down Sims in 'other households' and delete a vampire or two, a mean or evil Sim, etc.. 🙌

@TygerNight I agree that the meters and interactions could use some love for toddlers and parents - and others they interact with. I was very frustrated to realize on my most recent toddler (entirely done during the needs decay bug) that many of the interactions with the toddler were not bringing the 'attention' meter up. In my opinion, anyone from a child to other adult to parent who is interacting with the toddler or caring for them in any way should bring their attention meter up.Though IRL entertaining and cooing and interacting with a baby/toddler can be 'not actually' fun/satisfying (sometimes it's solely for the benefit of the baby/toddler and the parent is burned-out or the caregiver doesn't really care, they're just being a warm body and keeping the kiddo entertained and cared for for money/obligation...) those types of subtleties in motive and emotion are far more subtle and nuanced than is appropriate for the game.Imho I think it's best to make all fun/play interactions move up the fun and relationship for both parties, along with attention being brought up by every type of interaction the toddler gets - even if it's from a nanny, servo, butler, child, etc. That seems most accurate, logical, and fair. And it's just plain wrong for anyone to refuse the hug of a toddler. The only exception I can see for this may be if it was a non-parent or non-household member or non-caregiver that had the 'mean', 'evil' or 'hates children' trait (but even for them I cringe at the thought of a hug refusal(!)).A parent refusing a toddler hug is just plain unacceptable. If you see this happening consistently you may want to create a bug report: https://answers.ea.com/t5/Bug-Reports/bd-p/The-Sims-4-Bugs

My toddler asked the parent for a hug and the parent refused, which was bad enough, but then I looked and the parent had a festering grudge against the toddler. It's heartbreaking to see this happen in my game with parents that are family orientated and good. A festering grudge for being asked for a hug from a toddler???? That's cruel and I don't want to see this happen in my game as I keep everyone's traits correct to be parents. They have emotional control too, so I don't understand how this is happening. I've had it happen with two toddlers by the same parent now. I feel like kicking him out at the moment! Yet it's him that keeps getting whims to have babies!! I had a pretty bad childhood and like some players, like to play The Sims to live out a life that I would have liked, so this is upsetting. I took them to the park, they were all having a lovely time playing then BOOM! hug rejected and festering grudge! What on earth is going on? This would/should never happen in real life, so why is it happening in a game that I'm supposed to be in control of?

@SheriGR Oh I had this really bad with one family. One toddler, a twin, was a hugger and it gave a bitter grudge to the dad and hurt sentiment to his twin. Just because he hugged them 3x in a row.What?That toddler constantly experienced shared sadness for his twin and father who had some negative sentiment moodlets when near that child. It was so awful I manually removed the sentiments. I try to avoid this now when I see a toddler who wants to hug more than twice and stop it in the queue but it's ridiculous that it would cause such negative results.

My Sim parents sometimes refuse to hug a toddler back :(

38 Replies

SheriGR
Hero
6 years ago
@TygerNight I agree that the meters and interactions could use some love for toddlers and parents - and others they interact with. I was very frustrated to realize on my most recent toddler (entirely done during the needs decay bug) that many of the interactions with the toddler were not bringing the 'attention' meter up. In my opinion, anyone from a child to other adult to parent who is interacting with the toddler or caring for them in any way should bring their attention meter up.
Though IRL entertaining and cooing and interacting with a baby/toddler can be 'not actually' fun/satisfying (sometimes it's solely for the benefit of the baby/toddler and the parent is burned-out or the caregiver doesn't really care, they're just being a warm body and keeping the kiddo entertained and cared for for money/obligation...) those types of subtleties in motive and emotion are far more subtle and nuanced than is appropriate for the game.
Imho I think it's best to make all fun/play interactions move up the fun and relationship for both parties, along with attention being brought up by every type of interaction the toddler gets - even if it's from a nanny, servo, butler, child, etc. That seems most accurate, logical, and fair.
And it's just plain wrong for anyone to refuse the hug of a toddler. The only exception I can see for this may be if it was a non-parent or non-household member or non-caregiver that had the 'mean', 'evil' or 'hates children' trait (but even for them I cringe at the thought of a hug refusal(!)).
A parent refusing a toddler hug is just plain unacceptable. If you see this happening consistently you may want to create a bug report: https://answers.ea.com/t5/Bug-Reports/bd-p/The-Sims-4-Bugs
TygerNight
6 years ago
You're absolutely right about childcare not always being fun for the parent/caregiver. I've watched them enough to notice that when parents are really low, their interactions with babies are listless and their tone of voice is subdued, so I don't have an issue with that particular situation. But mostly they seem to be happily interacting with them.
Hugs between parents and children are special though. It just makes me feel terrible for a poor (pretend) toddler have a happy, loving hug offer rejected. :'(
Yes, I anthropomorphize my cats and mice, too. XD
The toddler attention meter sometimes makes me crazy. Spending 2 hours teaching them with the blocks gives them plenty of fun but no attention?? Huh?? Maybe sometimes it just doesn't register or something.
To be honest, I've become almost paranoid about having a toddler ask for a hug because it hits the relationship bar so hard. I try not to. But maybe I'll start doing it more often and keeping notes of how often it happens...
I appreciate your reply and I would make a more involved post except for 2 things...
1- My neck hurts for some reason and
2- My Sims just loaded up XD
~Tyger <3
Kane_Magus
Seasoned Novice
5 years ago
It's even worse now with the whole "Sentiments" system in place. I just had a toddler try to hug her mother, and not only did the mother refuse, which caused a dip in their relationship, the mother got the "Hurt" sentiment toward the child, the tooltip text for which is: "<mother> feels wronged by <toddler>. and being around <toddler> will remind <mother> of that pain." All this because the mother refused the toddler's offer of a hug. It's asinine. (If anything, it should have been the toddler that got the "Hurt" sentiment toward the mother.)
Gednaa
Seasoned Ace
4 years ago
My toddler asked the parent for a hug and the parent refused, which was bad enough, but then I looked and the parent had a festering grudge against the toddler. It's heartbreaking to see this happen in my game with parents that are family orientated and good. A festering grudge for being asked for a hug from a toddler???? That's cruel and I don't want to see this happen in my game as I keep everyone's traits correct to be parents. They have emotional control too, so I don't understand how this is happening. I've had it happen with two toddlers by the same parent now. I feel like kicking him out at the moment! Yet it's him that keeps getting whims to have babies!! I had a pretty bad childhood and like some players, like to play The Sims to live out a life that I would have liked, so this is upsetting. I took them to the park, they were all having a lovely time playing then BOOM! hug rejected and festering grudge! What on earth is going on? This would/should never happen in real life, so why is it happening in a game that I'm supposed to be in control of?
Gednaa
Seasoned Ace
4 years ago
Parent has been kicked out now and a marriage is in ruins. I really don't know where this is festering grudge and not hugging toddlers is coming from, but there will be no more children (which pains me) until this bug is fixed. Sad times in my sims game. ☹️
SheriGR
Hero
4 years ago
@Gednaa I'm sorry this is happening! I had a couple of questions...
Do you have any Mods/CC? It so have you tested the issue without them?
How long has the issue been happening? Is it since a certain update?
Does this issue happen with any other Sim? I'm wondering if there's a possibility the Sim has something buggy going on, has a hidden trait, or it's some odd whim issue, etc.?
If it's not a widespread issue and just this Sim bugging out, I would try a few things:
Try resetting the Sim
You could delete the Sim and add a new dad and cheat in the relationship.
You could try adding a Mod that allows you to check for hidden traits and see if that's the issue: Show/Search Sim Info Mod
You could try saving the family/household into your library and placing them in a new game save and see if this resets the Sim/clears out the Sim's issues/bugginess.
Please let us know how it goes!
wahini2024
4 years ago
@SheriGR Oh I had this really bad with one family. One toddler, a twin, was a hugger and it gave a bitter grudge to the dad and hurt sentiment to his twin. Just because he hugged them 3x in a row.
What?
That toddler constantly experienced shared sadness for his twin and father who had some negative sentiment moodlets when near that child. It was so awful I manually removed the sentiments. I try to avoid this now when I see a toddler who wants to hug more than twice and stop it in the queue but it's ridiculous that it would cause such negative results.
SheriGR
Hero
4 years ago
@wahini2024 I agree that is sad and frustrating. If there cannot be any glitch found (you could try the troubleshooting steps I mentioned above), and if it is therefore an intended design or oversight, I think it's great that this issue is placed here as feedback and hope that this would then be considered for adjustment in future updates.
Gednaa
Seasoned Ace
4 years ago
It only seems to happen with one particular sim, so I keep the toddlers away from him till they're kids. I don't see any hidden traits that would make him any different from any of my other sims, as being a boring old so and so, I tend to program them pretty much the same! So no hidden traits, so I guess a buggy parent. His identical twin is just fine with kids. Just the one (called Loveday - the irony!). When the child offers a hug, he puts out his hand and says neeb, neeb. and the toddler looks hurt. Yet HE has the festering grudge not the toddler! I do have mods, but they don't do this to my other sims, so it's weird and frustrating. Thanks for suggestions and I hope if it's a bug it can be fixed. 🙂. Meanwhile no more kids for Loveday and his spouse! I separated Loveday from his family and put him in a haunted house for two weeks as punishment! He was very upset, being family orientated. Nobody missed him. Angel raised the kids himself and aged them up to children, then Loveday moved back in and nobody seemed aware he'd been gone! lol
SheriGR
Hero
4 years ago
@Gednaa "Meanwhile no more kids for Loveday and his spouse! I separated Loveday from his family and put him in a haunted house for two weeks as punishment! He was very upset, being family orientated. Nobody missed him. Angel raised the kids himself and aged them up to children, then Loveday moved back in and nobody seemed aware he'd been gone! lol"

Oh my goodness... I love it! You sound a lot like me in my play style. No shenanigans or mean Sims allowed in my homes. I've been known to hunt down Sims in 'other households' and delete a vampire or two, a mean or evil Sim, etc.. 🙌