Hell on Wheels: Of Clunkers and Junkers Walkthrough
End of the Road
Auto starts
Marge: As soon as we get home, I have some chores for you.
Homer: Are they real jobs or just those six second thingies?
Marge: Homer, what's that clunking noise?
Homer: I'm probably having another heart attack. Let me pull into Flanders' driveway and you can use his defibrillator on me.
Homer: Then a couple weeks of paid time off thanks to Obamacare and I'll hatch a new get-rich-quick scheme and—
Marge: I don't think that's your heart. I think it's the car.
Homer: The car? We can't afford that!
Homer: It's gotta be my heart! Give me ten ccs of pork rinds, stat!
Task: Make Homer Try to Induce a Heart Attack
Time: 6s
Location: Parking Lot Lot Lot, Parking Lot, Shops or Simpson House
Task: Make Marge Take Away the Pork Rinds
Time: 6s
Location: Parking Lot Lot Lot, Parking Lot, Shops or Simpson House
Marge: Stop being so dramatic! It's probably just a loose carburetor. Cars still have carburetors, right?
Homer: You're asking the wrong guy.
Marge: Well, it can't be anything too terrible. We always take our cars in for regular maintenance.
Homer: Uh…
Marge: Homer, you've been taking your car in to get it serviced on schedule, right?
Homer: Again, you're asking the wrong guy.
Marge: Pull into that service station right now!
Homer: Wouldn't you rather just let me take care of this while you make dinner?
Marge: Now YOU'RE asking the wrong guy.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 1
Auto starts
Marge: Your car just died right in front of this gas station!
Homer: Perfect timing, huh?
Mechanic: Hello, folks. Boy, that was quite a racket your car was making…until it suddenly went completely silent.
Homer: Is that a bad sign?
Mechanic: Not for me. I'm putting a new deck on my house.
Marge: *grumble*
Mechanic: Could be worse. You could be having a heart attack.
Homer: I wish!
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Homer Get His Car Checked Out
Time: 4h
Location: Parking Lot Lot Lot, Parking Lot, Shops or Simpson House
Homer: So how bad is it?
Mechanic: Well, your transmission is shot, your suspension's collapsed, the brakes are worn down — do you want me to go on?
Marge: Is the carburetor loose?
Mechanic: Uh, no…
Homer: I told you that wasn't the problem, Marge.
Mechanic: …'cause I couldn't find it. It must have fallen out a few miles back.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 2
Auto starts
Homer: I can't live without a car! I have to drive to work. And to Moe's when I'm pretending to take my car to get it serviced.
Mechanic: I'm sorry, sir, but there's no way I can get this vehicle back on the road.
Billy: Wait a second, Dad! I'm sure I can get his car working again — at least long enough for us to be able to charge him.
Mechanic: Billy, we've been over this. You're not ready yet.
Homer: Couldn't we at least let him try?
Mechanic: Last week he connected an air intake hose to a water pump.
Homer: ...
Homer: And is that ba—?
Mechanic: Yeah, it's bad.
Homer: But at least he didn't connect a water intake hose to an air pump.
Mechanic: Hush! Don't give him any ideas!
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Homer Beg Mechanic to Let Billy Fix His Car
Time: 4h
Location: Gasso Station, Shops or Simpson House
Homer: I believe in you, Billy!
Mechanic: And now your car is on fire.
Homer: D'oh!
Billy: It was an honest mistake! I was being very honest when I touched those wires together by mistake.
Mechanic: Son, you just don't have the touch.
Homer: Except when it comes to touching wires together! Hah!
Mechanic: What are you laughing at? Your car is on fire.
Homer: At least he didn't connect a water hose to the air pump.
Mechanic: That might have put out the fire.
Homer: D'oh!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 3
Auto starts
Marge: What are we going to do now?
Homer: I'll get a rental car while we go car shopping. Our insurance should cover it.
Marge: Do you want me to give you a ride to the rental place?
Homer: That's okay. I already called Lenny. He'll give me a ride.
Marge: To the car rental place?
Homer: Eventually.
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Homer Make a "Pit Stop" at Moe's
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern, Eatery, Brown House or Simpson House
If the user has Lenny: Task: Make Lenny Drive Homer to Moe's
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern, Eatery, Brown House or Simpson House
Homer: One rental car, please. Here's my insurance card.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Oh, great! If you have Platinum Protection, I can rent you a 2022 sports car with satellite radio. *looks at card* Uh-oh.
Homer: Is that a Platinum Protection uh-oh?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: No, sir. You have Aluminum Foil Protection.
Homer: And what can I get with that?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: A 1974 hatchback with an eight-track player.
Homer: Uh-oh.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 4
Auto starts
Homer: Time for some family car shopping!
Lisa: Aw, Dad, I thought we were getting frosty chocolate milkshakes!
Maggie: *suck suck*
Bart: Maggie's right. Suck suck.
Homer: Quit complaining. We're going to Kliff's Kar Chalet.
Marge: Homer, I don't think we can afford anything here.
Homer: Marge, the sticker price is for the rubes. Watch me wheel and deal the pants off this sales guy.
Kliff: Sir, you deserve a car that matches you in every way: Rugged, powerful, and hardworking. The Road Monster XXXL 550!
Homer: Here, take my pants!
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Homer Worship the Road Monster XXXL 550
Time: 4h
Location: Kliff's Kar Chalet, Shops, Brown House or Simpson House
If the user has Kliff: Task: Make Kliff Shine Homer On
Time: 4h
Location: Kliff's Kar Chalet
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Give Kliff Some Serious Side-Eye
Time: 4h
Location: Kliff's Kar Chalet, Shops, Brown House or Simpson House
Bart: And tell me, my good man. What does the Road Monster have for the discriminating back seat passenger?
Kliff: A 24-inch touchscreen with streaming video and a Sorny Yaystation comes standard.
Bart: Here, take my shorts, too!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 5
Auto starts
Marge: Homer, this is ridiculous. There's no way we can afford it!
Homer: Relax, Marge. Watch and learn.
Homer: So Kliff, you know how I became an astronaut and now every billionaire on earth wants to go into space, too?
Homer: You give me one of these Road Monster XXXL 550s for free and you'll have to fight those space billionaire buyers off with a stick.
Kliff: I tell you what Homer, you pay full price for the Road Monster, and when the first billionaire buys one, I'll give you this Kliff's Kar Chalet travel mug.
Homer: Ooooh, it keeps liquids both hot AND cold! You got yourself a deal.
Marge: Maybe Maggie can use it as a sippy cup.
Maggie: *suck suck*
Kliff: Let me just run your credit and…oh…I've never seen a NEGATIVE number come up.
Homer: Is that bad?
Kliff: It is for me. I was hoping to use this sale to put a new deck on my house.
Homer: Aw! Isn't there something you can do for us?
Kliff: There is! I'm going to send you to a buddy of mine who I think can put you in something more in your price range.
Homer: Can I have my pants back?
Kliff: Not with that credit rating.
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Simpsons Follow Kliff's Directions
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Dump, Brown House or Simpson House
Marge: The Auto Yard? Homer, this is a junk yard!
No-Helmet Dupree: One man's junk is another man's garbage.
Bart: Gene "No-Helmet" Dupree!
No-Helmet Dupree: In the bruised and battered flesh! What are you folks doing here anyhow?
Homer: My car broke down and Kliff sent us here to find one we could afford.
No-Helmet Dupree: Well, at least you got out of there with your pants.
Homer: These are rentals.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Shattered Dreams Mystery Box
Auto starts
Lisa: I'm depressed. I can't even do things I normally love...like homework.
Marge: Is this about not getting that thing you wanted for your birthday?
Lisa: No, it's way bigger than that. This is about climate change, and wealth inequality, and voting rights, and…
Lisa: …and why didn't you get me the Malibu Stacy Hollywood Beach House?
Marge: You already have the Malibu Beach House and the Hollywood Penthouse. What does Hollywood Beach even mean?
Lisa: It's a place in Oxnard. It's where people in Los Angeles go to get away from all the good restaurants and culture.
Marge: I'm sorry, sweetie, but life is full of disappointments. You have to find coping mechanisms.
Lisa: Like how Dad drinks, or how Bart always gets in fights?
Marge: That's why they do those things?!
Marge: Actually I was thinking of my shattered dreams box. The one I keep in the disappointment closet, off the failure room in the regret wing of our house.
Marge: All those things that represent life's letdowns, you shut away in a box where they can't hurt you.
Marge: Until you pull them out to look at them, or show them to your daughter, or move them to the re-glued-together dreams box if things have improved.
Lisa: Hmm. I like that. Maybe I'll start a shattered dreams box of my own and get it out occasionally to reminisce.
Marge: Not too much. You don't want to confront missed opportunities too often.
Lisa: I was thinking like once per event.
Marge: That’s perfect.
Auto starts
Marge: As soon as we get home, I have some chores for you.
Homer: Are they real jobs or just those six second thingies?
Marge: Homer, what's that clunking noise?
Homer: I'm probably having another heart attack. Let me pull into Flanders' driveway and you can use his defibrillator on me.
Homer: Then a couple weeks of paid time off thanks to Obamacare and I'll hatch a new get-rich-quick scheme and—
Marge: I don't think that's your heart. I think it's the car.
Homer: The car? We can't afford that!
Homer: It's gotta be my heart! Give me ten ccs of pork rinds, stat!
Task: Make Homer Try to Induce a Heart Attack
Time: 6s
Location: Parking Lot Lot Lot, Parking Lot, Shops or Simpson House
Task: Make Marge Take Away the Pork Rinds
Time: 6s
Location: Parking Lot Lot Lot, Parking Lot, Shops or Simpson House
Marge: Stop being so dramatic! It's probably just a loose carburetor. Cars still have carburetors, right?
Homer: You're asking the wrong guy.
Marge: Well, it can't be anything too terrible. We always take our cars in for regular maintenance.
Homer: Uh…
Marge: Homer, you've been taking your car in to get it serviced on schedule, right?
Homer: Again, you're asking the wrong guy.
Marge: Pull into that service station right now!
Homer: Wouldn't you rather just let me take care of this while you make dinner?
Marge: Now YOU'RE asking the wrong guy.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 1
Auto starts
Marge: Your car just died right in front of this gas station!
Homer: Perfect timing, huh?
Mechanic: Hello, folks. Boy, that was quite a racket your car was making…until it suddenly went completely silent.
Homer: Is that a bad sign?
Mechanic: Not for me. I'm putting a new deck on my house.
Marge: *grumble*
Mechanic: Could be worse. You could be having a heart attack.
Homer: I wish!
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Homer Get His Car Checked Out
Time: 4h
Location: Parking Lot Lot Lot, Parking Lot, Shops or Simpson House
Homer: So how bad is it?
Mechanic: Well, your transmission is shot, your suspension's collapsed, the brakes are worn down — do you want me to go on?
Marge: Is the carburetor loose?
Mechanic: Uh, no…
Homer: I told you that wasn't the problem, Marge.
Mechanic: …'cause I couldn't find it. It must have fallen out a few miles back.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 2
Auto starts
Homer: I can't live without a car! I have to drive to work. And to Moe's when I'm pretending to take my car to get it serviced.
Mechanic: I'm sorry, sir, but there's no way I can get this vehicle back on the road.
Billy: Wait a second, Dad! I'm sure I can get his car working again — at least long enough for us to be able to charge him.
Mechanic: Billy, we've been over this. You're not ready yet.
Homer: Couldn't we at least let him try?
Mechanic: Last week he connected an air intake hose to a water pump.
Homer: ...
Homer: And is that ba—?
Mechanic: Yeah, it's bad.
Homer: But at least he didn't connect a water intake hose to an air pump.
Mechanic: Hush! Don't give him any ideas!
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Homer Beg Mechanic to Let Billy Fix His Car
Time: 4h
Location: Gasso Station, Shops or Simpson House
Homer: I believe in you, Billy!
Mechanic: And now your car is on fire.
Homer: D'oh!
Billy: It was an honest mistake! I was being very honest when I touched those wires together by mistake.
Mechanic: Son, you just don't have the touch.
Homer: Except when it comes to touching wires together! Hah!
Mechanic: What are you laughing at? Your car is on fire.
Homer: At least he didn't connect a water hose to the air pump.
Mechanic: That might have put out the fire.
Homer: D'oh!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 3
Auto starts
Marge: What are we going to do now?
Homer: I'll get a rental car while we go car shopping. Our insurance should cover it.
Marge: Do you want me to give you a ride to the rental place?
Homer: That's okay. I already called Lenny. He'll give me a ride.
Marge: To the car rental place?
Homer: Eventually.
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Homer Make a "Pit Stop" at Moe's
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern, Eatery, Brown House or Simpson House
If the user has Lenny: Task: Make Lenny Drive Homer to Moe's
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern, Eatery, Brown House or Simpson House
Homer: One rental car, please. Here's my insurance card.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Oh, great! If you have Platinum Protection, I can rent you a 2022 sports car with satellite radio. *looks at card* Uh-oh.
Homer: Is that a Platinum Protection uh-oh?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: No, sir. You have Aluminum Foil Protection.
Homer: And what can I get with that?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: A 1974 hatchback with an eight-track player.
Homer: Uh-oh.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 4
Auto starts
Homer: Time for some family car shopping!
Lisa: Aw, Dad, I thought we were getting frosty chocolate milkshakes!
Maggie: *suck suck*
Bart: Maggie's right. Suck suck.
Homer: Quit complaining. We're going to Kliff's Kar Chalet.
Marge: Homer, I don't think we can afford anything here.
Homer: Marge, the sticker price is for the rubes. Watch me wheel and deal the pants off this sales guy.
Kliff: Sir, you deserve a car that matches you in every way: Rugged, powerful, and hardworking. The Road Monster XXXL 550!
Homer: Here, take my pants!
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Homer Worship the Road Monster XXXL 550
Time: 4h
Location: Kliff's Kar Chalet, Shops, Brown House or Simpson House
If the user has Kliff: Task: Make Kliff Shine Homer On
Time: 4h
Location: Kliff's Kar Chalet
If the user has Marge: Task: Make Marge Give Kliff Some Serious Side-Eye
Time: 4h
Location: Kliff's Kar Chalet, Shops, Brown House or Simpson House
Bart: And tell me, my good man. What does the Road Monster have for the discriminating back seat passenger?
Kliff: A 24-inch touchscreen with streaming video and a Sorny Yaystation comes standard.
Bart: Here, take my shorts, too!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Of Clunkers and Junkers Pt. 5
Auto starts
Marge: Homer, this is ridiculous. There's no way we can afford it!
Homer: Relax, Marge. Watch and learn.
Homer: So Kliff, you know how I became an astronaut and now every billionaire on earth wants to go into space, too?
Homer: You give me one of these Road Monster XXXL 550s for free and you'll have to fight those space billionaire buyers off with a stick.
Kliff: I tell you what Homer, you pay full price for the Road Monster, and when the first billionaire buys one, I'll give you this Kliff's Kar Chalet travel mug.
Homer: Ooooh, it keeps liquids both hot AND cold! You got yourself a deal.
Marge: Maybe Maggie can use it as a sippy cup.
Maggie: *suck suck*
Kliff: Let me just run your credit and…oh…I've never seen a NEGATIVE number come up.
Homer: Is that bad?
Kliff: It is for me. I was hoping to use this sale to put a new deck on my house.
Homer: Aw! Isn't there something you can do for us?
Kliff: There is! I'm going to send you to a buddy of mine who I think can put you in something more in your price range.
Homer: Can I have my pants back?
Kliff: Not with that credit rating.
Task: Collect Mufflers
Task: Make Simpsons Follow Kliff's Directions
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Dump, Brown House or Simpson House
Marge: The Auto Yard? Homer, this is a junk yard!
No-Helmet Dupree: One man's junk is another man's garbage.
Bart: Gene "No-Helmet" Dupree!
No-Helmet Dupree: In the bruised and battered flesh! What are you folks doing here anyhow?
Homer: My car broke down and Kliff sent us here to find one we could afford.
No-Helmet Dupree: Well, at least you got out of there with your pants.
Homer: These are rentals.
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Shattered Dreams Mystery Box
Auto starts
Lisa: I'm depressed. I can't even do things I normally love...like homework.
Marge: Is this about not getting that thing you wanted for your birthday?
Lisa: No, it's way bigger than that. This is about climate change, and wealth inequality, and voting rights, and…
Lisa: …and why didn't you get me the Malibu Stacy Hollywood Beach House?
Marge: You already have the Malibu Beach House and the Hollywood Penthouse. What does Hollywood Beach even mean?
Lisa: It's a place in Oxnard. It's where people in Los Angeles go to get away from all the good restaurants and culture.
Marge: I'm sorry, sweetie, but life is full of disappointments. You have to find coping mechanisms.
Lisa: Like how Dad drinks, or how Bart always gets in fights?
Marge: That's why they do those things?!
Marge: Actually I was thinking of my shattered dreams box. The one I keep in the disappointment closet, off the failure room in the regret wing of our house.
Marge: All those things that represent life's letdowns, you shut away in a box where they can't hurt you.
Marge: Until you pull them out to look at them, or show them to your daughter, or move them to the re-glued-together dreams box if things have improved.
Lisa: Hmm. I like that. Maybe I'll start a shattered dreams box of my own and get it out occasionally to reminisce.
Marge: Not too much. You don't want to confront missed opportunities too often.
Lisa: I was thinking like once per event.
Marge: That’s perfect.
