Treehouse of Horror XXXI: Premium Walkthrough
A Congress of Devils Pt. 1
Old Scratch starts
Old Scratch: It's good to get out of Hell for a bit and stretch my hooves! Maybe pick up a few fresh souls for the trip back.
The Devil: Not so fast, pal! I'm the Prince of Darkness in Springfield! Now scram!
Old Scratch: Oh, am I horning in on your turf? "Horning". Get it?
The Devil: Because we both have horns. Yes, I get it.
The Devil: What you DON'T get is I'm the one, true Satan.
Old Scratch: Maybe you haven't played the main quest line for MY event. I'm the guy in charge here! If anybody's gonna be the real Prince of Darkness, it's me!
Old Scratch: How 'bout you be…let's see…the Prince of the Presbylutheran Church or the Dark Knight of North Haverbrook. Heh-heh.
The Devil: Oh, that's it! You're going down!
Task: Make Old Scratch Fight the Devil
Time: 3h
Location: Hellscape, Hellport Pentagram, Hellementary School or Brown House
If the user has The Devil: Task: Make the Devil Fight Old Scratch
Time: 3h
Location: Hellscape, Hellport Pentagram, Hellementary School or Brown House
Ned: Oh Dear Lord! Devils fighting in the streets of Springfield! It truly is the End Times!
Homer: That's what you said last Thursday about the plague of frogs—
Homer: There were three frogs.
Ned: They hopped at me! One touched my foot!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
A Congress of Devils Pt. 2
Bart starts
Bart: Wow, that's way more hair-pulling than I expected in a fight between demons.
The Devil: We fight dirty 'cause dirty is all we know!
Old Scratch: Kid has a point though. We should fight with some sense of pride and dignity. Afterall, I am Ruler of the Underworld.
The Devil: YOU'RE Ruler of the Underworld?! That's it, you're getting your hair pulled again!
Task: Make Old Scratch Accept a Satan-Off Challenge
Time: 1h
Location: Hellscape, Hellport Pentagram, Hellementary School or Brown House
If the user has The Devil: Task: Make the Devil Challenge Old Scratch to a Satan-Off
Time: 1h
Location: Hellscape, Hellport Pentagram, Hellementary School or Brown House
The Devil: So, here's the deal: Whoever tricks the greatest number of Springfielders into surrendering their souls shall be known as the One True Prince of Darkness!
Old Scratch: I really don't want to hear the terms of the deal again!
The Devil: Somebody got up on the wrong side of the River Styx this morning.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
A Congress of Devils Pt. 3
Old Scratch starts
Old Scratch: Say there, you look like a fella who enjoys a good bargain.
Cletus: Aw no, not another fiddle contest.
Old Scratch: No. Something better. Have you ever thought about getting into the oil business?
Cletus: Oil? Ain't no future in 'virementally un'stainable energy!
Cletus: I seez the future in mobile phone entertainment. I luvs Varmint Rasslin' videos!
Old Scratch: Varmint Rasslin'? Two animals fighting each other? Sounds hellishly good. I want in!
Cletus: Tain't zactly how it works.
Task: Make Old Scratch Flee Rasslin' Raccoons
Time: 4h
If the user has Cletus: Cletus: Make Cletus Post Varmint Rasslin' Videos Online
Time: 4h
Location: Cletus' Farm or Brown House
Cletus: Woooeee! Look at all those likes and views!
Cletus: And that's just fer round one! A badger vs. Old Scratch. Who's ready fer round two?
Old Scratch: Please, just take the deed to this oil well and let me crawl off in peace…
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
A Congress of Devils Pt. 4
Old Scratch starts
The Devil: Old Scratch is pretty shifty. I'll need my "A" game if I'm gonna stay on top of the hellhole Hell heap.
Squeaky Voice Teen: Aw, no! I lost my job at the Widget Spinners store. I thought I'd be spinning there forever.
The Devil: Young man, how would you like to be a billionaire?
Squeaky Voice Teen: Nah. Millionaire is fine for me.
The Devil: Even better! Just sign here on the dotted line, my boy… Heh-heh...
Task: Make Old Scratch Hide From Unruly Raccoons
Time: 2h
Location: Maple Tree, Apple Tree, Fancy Tree, Japanese Cherry Tree, Brown House
If the user has The Devil: Task: Make the Devil Try to Steal a Soul
Time: 2h
Location: Businnesses or Brown House
If the user has Squeaky Voice Teen: Task: Make Squeaky Voice Teen Try to Sell His Soul
Time: 2h
Location: Businnesses or Brown House
The Devil: MWAHAHA! And now that I own a teenager's soul—!
Blue-Haired Lawyer: I'm sorry, sir, but my clients already own 53% of this young man's soul.
Mr. Costington: And we've got a 27% stake in his soul!
Arthur Fortune: And don't forget about our 19%.
Mr. Burns: I believe I'm into the lad as well!
The Devil: How much of his soul is left?
Blue-Haired Lawyer: Since he's in soul debt, his soul creditors can now come after you.
The Devil: Uh, hey…did I say I own his soul? I meant Old Scratch! He's the guy you want!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
A Congress of Devils Pt. 5
Ned starts
Ned: Friends and neighbors! There is a demonic scourge that is plaguing our town—
Dr. Hibbert: Ned, I told you, that wasn't a plague — just a mild rash from overwashing your—
Ned: Not that! I'm talking about an actual walking, talking force of evil.
Ned: Real devils! Trying to make bargains to steal people's souls! The Devil and Old Scratch!!!
Ned: Now, good people of Springfield, we need to drive these devils back from whence they came!
Old Scratch: Maybe we're attracting a little too much of the wrong kind of attention.
The Devil: Yeah, maybe. Perhaps we should call off our contest. Besides, there's more than enough sin in Springfield for the two of us.
Old Scratch: Absolutely! But first I think it's time we called in a favor from a red devil's best friend…
The Devil: An internet CEO? Parents who cheated to get their kids into college?
Old Scratch: Even better…a despicable politician.
Task: Make Ned Rally Springfielders to Drive Out the Devils!
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall or Flanders House
Task: Make Springfielders Get Riled Up About Devils
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall or Flanders House
Task: Make Old Scratch Call in a Favor
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall, Hellscape or Flanders House
If the user has The Devil: Task: Make the Devil Enjoy Classic '80s Metal
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall, Hellscape or Flanders House
Ned: Let us drive these foul spawns of Hell out of our fair—!
Quimby: Not so fast, Flanders! As a sanctuary city we welcome all.
Quimby: It's in our town charter.
Ned: You're saying we can't reject the very devils in our midst?!
Quimby: That is correct. And I'm also pleased to announce the first annual Springfield Devil Days!
Homer: Mmm… Devil's food Days!
The Devil: It's good to have friends in low places.
Old Scratch: The lower the better.
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 1
Homer starts
Donut Homer: Hey, Moe, you won't believe what happened to me today!
Moe: You made a deal with Old Scratch not to eat a forbidden donut, which you did anyways, but somehow you got out of goin' to Hell, and now you got a donut for a head.
Lenny: A tale as old as time.
Donut Homer: And the beauty part…I can eat my own fluffy, delicious head, and as long as I don't eat it all it grows back the next day!
Moe: Whoop-de-doo. Everything always works out for ol' Homer.
Evil Shopkeeper: It can be great for others, too! For some a donut head is a curse…but for some a blessing!
Carl: I'll take the blessing part. Lenny, you take the curse.
Lenny: Thanks, buddy!
Task: Make Donut Homer Listen to Evil Shopkeeper's Tale
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
If the user has Evil Shopkeeper: Task: Make Evil Shopkeeper Tell a Cursed Tale
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Evil Shopkeeper: …and so, whosoever parktaketh of the cursed confectionary cranium shall enjoy a surplus of serendipity!
Donut Homer: …
Lenny: …
Carl: …
Evil Shopkeeper: Eat the damn donut head and you'll have good luck.
Donut Homer: Why are you guys looking at me like that?
Lenny: I could use some good luck for a change.
Carl: Yeah, me too.
Donut Homer: Oh, no. I should be the only one who gets to eat my head!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 2
Homer starts
Cookie Kwan: Homer, why are you hiding behind Madame Chao's restaurant? And why is your head a donut?
Donut Homer: All good questions. I'm cursed! But if anyone else eats my head they'll have good luck, so Lenny and Carl want to bite my brain.
Donut Homer: I'm hiding here since Chinese people don't eat donuts.
Cookie Kwan: That's not true. Everyone likes donuts, including Chinese people…and including me!
Donut Homer: WAAAAH?!
If the user has Cookie Kwan: Task: Make Cookie Kwan Douse Donut Homer in Sweet 'n Sour Sauce
Time: 3h
Location: Madame Chao's, Chinese Restaurant or Brown House
Task: Make Donut Homer Run Before Cookie Kwan Eats Him
Time: 3h
Location: Madame Chao's, Chinese Restaurant or Brown House
Donut Homer: I almost had another donut hole in my head!
Donut Homer: And now I'm covered in Sweet 'n Sour Sauce…and more delicious than ever.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 3
Homer starts
Lyla: Homer, you're visiting the Buddhist Temple?
Donut Homer: Usually the first question people ask is, "What's going on with that donut head"?
Lyla: Buddhism has taught me to ignore head shape.
Donut Homer: Everyone wants to eat my head. But Buddhists are vegetarians, so I'm safe here.
Lyla: Donuts aren't meat, Homer.
Donut Homer: What?! Explain.
Task: Make Donut Homer Try to Crush Lyla with a Buddha Statue
Time: 3h
Location: Springfield Buddhist Temple or Brown House
If the user has Lyla: Task: Make Lyla Calm Donut Homer Down
Time: 3h
Location: Springfield Buddhist Temple or Brown House
Lyla: Homer, I'm not going to eat your head. You're a sentient being!
Donut Homer: How rude! I may be a little slow, but I'm still human.
Lyla: Um, right.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 4
Homer starts
Donut Homer: I'll sneak into the House of Evil and beg the Evil Shopkeeper to change me back to normal! Maybe one more bite before I do—
Donut Homer: Hey, what's he saying…?
Evil Shopkeeper: Mr. Szyslak, I need payment now! I told everybody that eating Homer's head would bring them good luck! That was the agreement.
Donut Homer: What?! Moe set me up?!
Moe: Uh, oh.
Task: Make Donut Homer Go on a Donut Head Rampage
Time: 8h
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Get Pummeled Senseless by a Giant Donut Head
Time: 8h
Location: House of Evil or Brown House
If the user has Evil Shopkeeper: Task: Make Evil Shopkeeper Regret Life Choices
Time: 8h
Location: House of Evil or Brown House
Moe: Okay, okay! Homer, we give!
Evil Shopkeeper: Who knew a giant donut head could make such an effective weapon?
Moe: He's like a delicious, deep-fried cranium-cracking cronut!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 5
Homer starts
Lenny: There he is! Eat him!
Moe: Wait, guys! Ya can't eat Homer. The Evil Shopkeeper was lyin' because I paid him.
Evil Shopkeeper: All you gain from eating this oaf's head is mild indigestion and an evening spent on the toilet.
Carl: Aw, man, I really wanted that good luck!
Lenny: Carl and I have been luckless for thirty years.
Moe: Homer, I'm real sorry folks tried to chew off your gorgeous, glazed head. I guess I was just jealous of the attention you was gettin' .
Donut Homer: I understand, Moe. And I think I know someone who can help you!
Task: Make Donut Homer Ask Old Scratch for a Favor
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
If the user has Old Scratch: Task: Make Old Scratch Make Moe Special Too
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Finally Stand Out
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Donut Homer: There you go, Moe! You're all set.
Old Scratch: Always happy to help a friend of Homer's!
Pickle Moe: Aw geez, guys, this is great!
Pickle Moe: Look at me, everybody! I got a giant pickle for a head!
Femme Fatale: Ewww! You stink like pickle juice! Go away!
Sad Pickle Moe: Maybe I shoulda gone with a boiled egg...
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 1
Torture Coach starts
Torture Coach: That's it, class…lift and twist and jab and poke...find where your victim's pain is most extreme.
Hell Principals: Coach, may I have a word?
Torture Coach: Certainly, boss. Class, keep your pitchforks red hot while I'm gone.
Hell Principals: Sorry to interrupt but I just got off the horn with legal. There's a complication with your employment contract.
Torture Coach: *gasp* It's not my benefits, is it? I really need the free daycare. Torture Coach Jr. has grown to love where he is.
Hell Principals: No, no. It seems that when we hired you away from Torment Inc. we overlooked a non-compete clause.
Hell Principals: You're going to need to go on a sabbatical until it's sorted out.
Torture Coach: Paid?
Hell Principals: Unpaid.
Torture Coach: *sigh* I'll tell my class to cool their pitchforks.
Task: Make Torture Coach Head to the Bar
Time: 3h
Location: Hell Moe's, Hellscape, Moe's Tavern or Brown House
If the user has Hell Principals: Task: Make Hell Principals Review the Contract with Legal
Time: 3h
Location: Hellementary School, Hellscape, Flanders' Personal Hell or Brown House
Torture Coach: I also found out that sabbatical means loss of daycare, which is why Torture Coach Jr. is with me.
Demon Moe: I don't give a toot, but he can't sit at my bar. This may be Hell, but we got laws.
Torture Coach: *sigh* Son, go sit in a booth and Daddy will get you an apple juice.
Demon Moe: Best I can do is an apple martini.
Torture Coach: Just water then.
Demon Moe: If he don't like martinis he aint gonna like the water either.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 2
Torture Coach starts
Hell Teacher: Since we broke up, he's been posting lies about me on Flamebook. He updated his relationship status to "It's complicated".
Hell Teacher: What's complicated, Kevin?! We broke up! It's pretty simple!
Demon Moe: Yeah, whatever. Sounds like a real pain. You still nursing that drink?
Torture Coach: You should just torture him.
Torture Coach: Tape his eyelids open and make him watch '80s workout videos, or cover the iron maiden spikes with sriracha sauce.
Torture Coach: It's a classic that I put a twist on.
Hell Teacher: Wow, those are great. I'm gonna do them both! Thanks! *runs out the door*
Demon Moe: You're pretty good at that torture stuff. You could do that for a living.
Torture Coach: I WAS doing it for a living. But…you're right. I don't need some two-headed principal to give me permission to do it! I can torture pro bono!
Demon Moe: You should charge a little…enough to pay your drink tab. I got a business to run here.
Task: Make Torture Coach Go Pro Bono
Time: 1h
Location: Hell Moe's, Hellscape, Moe's Tavern, Flanders' Personal Hell or Brown House
If the user has Demon Moe: Task: Make Demon Moe Refill the Peanuts
Time: 1h
Location: Hell Moe's, Moe's Tavern, Hell's Kitchen, Flanders' Personal Hell or Brown House
Old Scratch: You want me to donate my gym so you can offer torture classes to my customers?
Torture Coach: Full disclosure, I'm gonna record the classes and put them on ViewTube.
Torture Coach: I can make a heck of a lot more that way than teaching little twerps at Hellementary School.
Old Scratch: I'm gonna need 25% of the take.
Torture Coach: How 'bout 15%!
Old Scratch: How 'bout 20% and I don't turn you to ash where you stand.
Torture Coach: Sounds like a deal.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 3
Torture Coach starts
Torture Coach: Alright class…choke up on the bat-o-nails and swing! Put your hips into it!
Hell Scientist: This is great! I'm learning torture techniques I can use for all eternity AND getting a workout!
Torture Coach: Kevin, look into the camera when you say that. And those of you watching at home, don't forget to like, subscribe, and smash that notification bell.
Task: Make Torture Coach Demonstrate Proper Nail Bat Technique
Time: 8h
Location: Old Scratch's Gym, Hellscape, Flanders' Personal Hell, Hell Labs or Brown House
Old Scratch: So how are we doing with revenue on our ViewTube channel?
Torture Coach: Building revenue takes time.
Old Scratch: I'll live forever but I don't want to wait forever. Now show Old Scratch some scratch!
Torture Coach: We're up to…fourteen cents. 20% of that is 2.8 cents. You want it now?
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 4
Torture Coach starts
Torture Coach: Keep running! Get those knees up! Higher! *snaps whip*
Hell Teacher: I thought you were teaching US to torture, not to BE tortured!
Torture Coach: In order to dole out torment one must feel the torment. Therein lies true enlightenment.
Hell Scientist: But we didn't ask for enlightenment. We just wanted to learn some cool torture tips!
Torture Coach: You get what you paid for. And you paid nothing. Now RUN!
Task: Make Torture Coach Whip Class Into Shape
Time: 4h
Old Scratch: Alright, so I paid for your new camera, lights, microphones and your wardrobe…
Torture Coach: I can't look like a schlub on ViewTube.
Old Scratch: And I've made a grand total of… *checks ViewTube account* one dollar and thirty-four cents.
Torture Coach: Um…may I remind you—
Old Scratch: Yes, I know! 20% of one dollar and thirty-four cents!!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 5
Torture Coach starts
Hell Principals: Coach, it looks like everything is fine now. We've cleared up the concern over your non-compete clause with Torment Inc.
Torture Coach: I hope our lawyers raked them over the coals!
Hell Principals: Uh…our lawyers asked nicely, and they said they didn't remember you.
Torture Coach: *gasp* After all the years I tortured for that company…
Task: Make Torture Coach Mope Back to Hellementary School
Time: 2h
Location: Hellementary School, Hellscape, Flanders' Personal Hell, Hell's Kitchen or Brown House
Torture Coach: Alright, kids. Today's lesson…lightning bolt electroshock.
Beelzebart: I'm so glad to have you back.
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 1
Demon Moe starts
Demon Moe: Say, Homer, since you're about to leave Hell, I was wonderin'… could you do me a favor when you head back upstairs.
Homer: Oh, no! I have to climb stairs?! This is hell!
Demon Moe: Uh, no. I mean when you leave Hell and go back to Springfield.
Demon Moe: I was thinkin' youse could invite the mortal Moe down here to get a preview of what he's got in store when he gets down here.
Homer: Are you sure this is where Moe's coming? I think he's a pretty good guy.
Demon Moe: Hoo boy. You don't know the dark side of Moe.
Task: Make Demon Moe Ask Homer for a Favor
Time: 1h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Agree to Do a Favor for Demon Moe
Time: 1h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Homer: So there are two Moes?
Demon Moe: No, I'm just the guy in charge of what he's gonna face when his butt lands here in Hades.
Homer: So you're like his guardian angel?
Demon Moe: Let's just go with that. I'm the guardian angel with the horns, a tail, and death breath.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 2
Homer starts
Homer: Hey, Demon Moe! I brought regular Moe down like you asked.
Demon Moe: Why'd you bring Lenny and Carl too?
Lenny: Homer said he was going to Cool Moe's.
Carl: We never met a Cool Moe so we had to come.
Moe: I don't get it. What is this place?
Demon Moe: This is where you're gonna spend eternity, pal.
Moe: Aw, geez. In the afterlife, I was hopin' to get out of the servin'-drinks-to-jerks business.
Task: Make Demon Moe Explain Moe's Fate
Time: 3h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Balk at His Fate
Time: 3h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Moe: Wait, so I'll have a miserable life, die, and spend a miserable eternity in this dump?
Demon Moe: Pretty much, yeah. Hope yer into smokey, hot, and sweaty.
Moe: What'd I do to deserve this?
Demon Moe: The watering down of drinks, the rhino horn business…
Moe: Big deal! Everybody does that.
Lenny: The shotgunning, the cheating at cards…
Carl: Selling rotten eggs, clubbing innocent rats…
Moe: Okay, everybody, stop already. I get it.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 3
Demon Moe starts
Moe: So your job is to torment me for eternity after I die?
Demon Moe: Like I always say: "Find a job you enjoy doing and you'll never have to work a day in your life". Right, Twainy?
Mark Twain: I wish I'd never said a lot of things.
Moe: And so you'll have to stay with me forever, in all my gripin', complaining and general miserableness. That's gonna be fun for you?
Demon Moe: Yep…wait, no.
Demon Moe: I may not have thought this through.
Moe: I can see that. *chuckles*
Task: Make Demon Moe Become Horrifically Depressed
Time: 4h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Enjoy Sharing the Pain
Time: 4h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 4
Demon Moe starts
Demon Moe: I concocted this eternal torment for you. It was s'posed to be really great!
Moe: It is great. You did a good job.
Demon Moe: But all I've done is set myself up to be miserable alongside you forever.
Moe: You ain't no Prince Charming yerself, pal.
Demon Moe: I don't like to look on the bright side, but it ain't all bad. I do own a bar, and that's pretty sweet.
Moe: That's the spirit. And I'll cover for ya on ladies' nights down here.
Demon Moe: Good luck with Lizzy Borden and Ma Barker. They are a couple of mean drunks!
Task: Make Demon Moe Relax and Enjoy Life
Time: 4h
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 5
Demon Moe starts
Moe: Well, I guess I'll head back home. Probably be seeing you soon, though. *sigh*
Demon Moe: There's still hope. Go to church, fold yer hands, and pray to the guy upstairs. If that works, you could go to heaven and I get to keep the bar.
Moe: Hey, you really think I got a shot at heaven?
Demon Moe: I don't wanna lie to you, but I'm gonna…sure you got a shot!
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Wander Home
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Task: Make Demon Moe Propose a Toast for Regular Moe
Time: 2h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Hell Scientist: So he just went back home?
Demon Moe: Yep. I can't help feelin' bad for the guy.
Hell Scientist: We should drink a toast to Moe.
Demon Moe: That's a real sweet thought.
Demon Moe: On the other hand, it seems like a waste of good alcohol. Moe wouldn't want that.
Hell Scientist: A FREE drink…to Moe!
Demon Moe: Get outta my bar, you bum!
Demon Moe: *pulls out baseball bat* Sweet thought is over!
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 1
Demon Technician starts
Old Scratch: Hey pal, great job, but HR says you have to use up some of your vacation days.
Demon Technician: No time for that. Besides, screams of agony are my vacation.
Demon Technician: Who would take a day off when one's job is to create so many horrifying pleas for mercy?
Old Scratch: You do have it pretty sweet.
Task: Make Demon Technician Fine Tune Torture Device
Time: 8h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt
If the user has Old Scratch: Task: Make Old Scratch Worry About HR Violations
Time: 8h
Location: Hellscape or Brown House
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 2
Demon Technician starts
Hell Teacher: Excuse me…um, sir. HR asked me to come down and speak with you.
Demon Technician: Why doesn't HR come talk to me themselves?
Hell Teacher: Frankly, sir, they're afraid of you.
Demon Technician: That's fair.
Hell Teacher: So…how 'bout taking a break and using up some of that vacation time?
Demon Technician: Just as soon as I get my Eye-Poking Machine recalibrated. Can you help me out?
Hell Teacher: Uh, I'm not really — OW! It's missing my eye and picking my nose!
Demon Technician: Damn…more recalibration is needed.
Task: Make Demon Technician Perfect Eye-Poking Tech
Time: 1h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt or Brown House
If the user has Hell Teacher: Task: Make Hell Teacher Leave in a Hurry
Time: 1h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt or Brown House
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 3
Demon Technician starts
Torture Coach: Say, Sid, the boss has asked me to talk to you. You need to take a break, or you're gonna get us all in trouble.
Demon Technician: Yeah, yeah, just as soon as I finish testing the new Gut Inverter.
Demon Technician: Hey, you want to see it in action?
Torture Coach: Well…
Demon Technician: No guts, no gory!
Torture Coach: AAAGGHHH! It works! It works!
Task: Make Demon Technician Torture With Sadistic Glee
Time: 4h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt
If the user has Torture Coach: Task: Make Torture Coach Watch the Master at Work
Time: 4h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt, Hellscape or Brown House
Torture Coach: Boy, with all the screaming, you'd think they wouldn't have the breath to ask for more coffee.
Demon Technician: We do like to make our victims feel at home…and in pain.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 4
Demon Technician starts
God: Hey man, gonna need you to take a vacation.
Demon Technician: You're the head of HR?
God: Nah. I was passing through and HR asked me to do them a favor.
God: Even God takes vacations. I've been off all year. Haven't you noticed the world has gone to Hell?
Demon Technician: Wow, I guess I've been too busy to notice.
God: Take a day and come along with me to Krustyland. You can hear people scream my name in terror.
Task: Make Demon Technician Tag Along to Krustyland
Time: 6h
Location: The Tooth Chipper, Krustyland Entrance or Brown House
If the user has God: Task: Make God Ride the Tooth Chipper Over and Over
Time: 6h
Location: The Tooth Chipper, Krustyland Entrance or Brown House
God: See, that was fun! And it's healthy to get your mind off work for a bit.
Demon Technician: Are you kidding? I've got so many new ideas now. I can't wait to get back to the shop!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 5
Demon Technician starts
Demon Technician: I'm back from my vacation! I didn't exactly relax, though.
Old Scratch: Hey, whatever. I just needed HR off my back. Now I can tell them to go to He — uh, go to Here.
Demon Technician: And look at this backlog of damned souls that need processing. I'm in Heaven! By which I mean Hell!
Task: Make Demon Technician Do What He Does Best
Time: 4h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
Old Scratch starts
Old Scratch: It's good to get out of Hell for a bit and stretch my hooves! Maybe pick up a few fresh souls for the trip back.
The Devil: Not so fast, pal! I'm the Prince of Darkness in Springfield! Now scram!
Old Scratch: Oh, am I horning in on your turf? "Horning". Get it?
The Devil: Because we both have horns. Yes, I get it.
The Devil: What you DON'T get is I'm the one, true Satan.
Old Scratch: Maybe you haven't played the main quest line for MY event. I'm the guy in charge here! If anybody's gonna be the real Prince of Darkness, it's me!
Old Scratch: How 'bout you be…let's see…the Prince of the Presbylutheran Church or the Dark Knight of North Haverbrook. Heh-heh.
The Devil: Oh, that's it! You're going down!
Task: Make Old Scratch Fight the Devil
Time: 3h
Location: Hellscape, Hellport Pentagram, Hellementary School or Brown House
If the user has The Devil: Task: Make the Devil Fight Old Scratch
Time: 3h
Location: Hellscape, Hellport Pentagram, Hellementary School or Brown House
Ned: Oh Dear Lord! Devils fighting in the streets of Springfield! It truly is the End Times!
Homer: That's what you said last Thursday about the plague of frogs—
Homer: There were three frogs.
Ned: They hopped at me! One touched my foot!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
A Congress of Devils Pt. 2
Bart starts
Bart: Wow, that's way more hair-pulling than I expected in a fight between demons.
The Devil: We fight dirty 'cause dirty is all we know!
Old Scratch: Kid has a point though. We should fight with some sense of pride and dignity. Afterall, I am Ruler of the Underworld.
The Devil: YOU'RE Ruler of the Underworld?! That's it, you're getting your hair pulled again!
Task: Make Old Scratch Accept a Satan-Off Challenge
Time: 1h
Location: Hellscape, Hellport Pentagram, Hellementary School or Brown House
If the user has The Devil: Task: Make the Devil Challenge Old Scratch to a Satan-Off
Time: 1h
Location: Hellscape, Hellport Pentagram, Hellementary School or Brown House
The Devil: So, here's the deal: Whoever tricks the greatest number of Springfielders into surrendering their souls shall be known as the One True Prince of Darkness!
Old Scratch: I really don't want to hear the terms of the deal again!
The Devil: Somebody got up on the wrong side of the River Styx this morning.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
A Congress of Devils Pt. 3
Old Scratch starts
Old Scratch: Say there, you look like a fella who enjoys a good bargain.
Cletus: Aw no, not another fiddle contest.
Old Scratch: No. Something better. Have you ever thought about getting into the oil business?
Cletus: Oil? Ain't no future in 'virementally un'stainable energy!
Cletus: I seez the future in mobile phone entertainment. I luvs Varmint Rasslin' videos!
Old Scratch: Varmint Rasslin'? Two animals fighting each other? Sounds hellishly good. I want in!
Cletus: Tain't zactly how it works.
Task: Make Old Scratch Flee Rasslin' Raccoons
Time: 4h
If the user has Cletus: Cletus: Make Cletus Post Varmint Rasslin' Videos Online
Time: 4h
Location: Cletus' Farm or Brown House
Cletus: Woooeee! Look at all those likes and views!
Cletus: And that's just fer round one! A badger vs. Old Scratch. Who's ready fer round two?
Old Scratch: Please, just take the deed to this oil well and let me crawl off in peace…
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
A Congress of Devils Pt. 4
Old Scratch starts
The Devil: Old Scratch is pretty shifty. I'll need my "A" game if I'm gonna stay on top of the hellhole Hell heap.
Squeaky Voice Teen: Aw, no! I lost my job at the Widget Spinners store. I thought I'd be spinning there forever.
The Devil: Young man, how would you like to be a billionaire?
Squeaky Voice Teen: Nah. Millionaire is fine for me.
The Devil: Even better! Just sign here on the dotted line, my boy… Heh-heh...
Task: Make Old Scratch Hide From Unruly Raccoons
Time: 2h
Location: Maple Tree, Apple Tree, Fancy Tree, Japanese Cherry Tree, Brown House
If the user has The Devil: Task: Make the Devil Try to Steal a Soul
Time: 2h
Location: Businnesses or Brown House
If the user has Squeaky Voice Teen: Task: Make Squeaky Voice Teen Try to Sell His Soul
Time: 2h
Location: Businnesses or Brown House
The Devil: MWAHAHA! And now that I own a teenager's soul—!
Blue-Haired Lawyer: I'm sorry, sir, but my clients already own 53% of this young man's soul.
Mr. Costington: And we've got a 27% stake in his soul!
Arthur Fortune: And don't forget about our 19%.
Mr. Burns: I believe I'm into the lad as well!
The Devil: How much of his soul is left?
Blue-Haired Lawyer: Since he's in soul debt, his soul creditors can now come after you.
The Devil: Uh, hey…did I say I own his soul? I meant Old Scratch! He's the guy you want!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
A Congress of Devils Pt. 5
Ned starts
Ned: Friends and neighbors! There is a demonic scourge that is plaguing our town—
Dr. Hibbert: Ned, I told you, that wasn't a plague — just a mild rash from overwashing your—
Ned: Not that! I'm talking about an actual walking, talking force of evil.
Ned: Real devils! Trying to make bargains to steal people's souls! The Devil and Old Scratch!!!
Ned: Now, good people of Springfield, we need to drive these devils back from whence they came!
Old Scratch: Maybe we're attracting a little too much of the wrong kind of attention.
The Devil: Yeah, maybe. Perhaps we should call off our contest. Besides, there's more than enough sin in Springfield for the two of us.
Old Scratch: Absolutely! But first I think it's time we called in a favor from a red devil's best friend…
The Devil: An internet CEO? Parents who cheated to get their kids into college?
Old Scratch: Even better…a despicable politician.
Task: Make Ned Rally Springfielders to Drive Out the Devils!
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall or Flanders House
Task: Make Springfielders Get Riled Up About Devils
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall or Flanders House
Task: Make Old Scratch Call in a Favor
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall, Hellscape or Flanders House
If the user has The Devil: Task: Make the Devil Enjoy Classic '80s Metal
Time: 3h
Location: Town Hall, Hellscape or Flanders House
Ned: Let us drive these foul spawns of Hell out of our fair—!
Quimby: Not so fast, Flanders! As a sanctuary city we welcome all.
Quimby: It's in our town charter.
Ned: You're saying we can't reject the very devils in our midst?!
Quimby: That is correct. And I'm also pleased to announce the first annual Springfield Devil Days!
Homer: Mmm… Devil's food Days!
The Devil: It's good to have friends in low places.
Old Scratch: The lower the better.
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 1
Homer starts
Donut Homer: Hey, Moe, you won't believe what happened to me today!
Moe: You made a deal with Old Scratch not to eat a forbidden donut, which you did anyways, but somehow you got out of goin' to Hell, and now you got a donut for a head.
Lenny: A tale as old as time.
Donut Homer: And the beauty part…I can eat my own fluffy, delicious head, and as long as I don't eat it all it grows back the next day!
Moe: Whoop-de-doo. Everything always works out for ol' Homer.
Evil Shopkeeper: It can be great for others, too! For some a donut head is a curse…but for some a blessing!
Carl: I'll take the blessing part. Lenny, you take the curse.
Lenny: Thanks, buddy!
Task: Make Donut Homer Listen to Evil Shopkeeper's Tale
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
If the user has Evil Shopkeeper: Task: Make Evil Shopkeeper Tell a Cursed Tale
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Evil Shopkeeper: …and so, whosoever parktaketh of the cursed confectionary cranium shall enjoy a surplus of serendipity!
Donut Homer: …
Lenny: …
Carl: …
Evil Shopkeeper: Eat the damn donut head and you'll have good luck.
Donut Homer: Why are you guys looking at me like that?
Lenny: I could use some good luck for a change.
Carl: Yeah, me too.
Donut Homer: Oh, no. I should be the only one who gets to eat my head!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 2
Homer starts
Cookie Kwan: Homer, why are you hiding behind Madame Chao's restaurant? And why is your head a donut?
Donut Homer: All good questions. I'm cursed! But if anyone else eats my head they'll have good luck, so Lenny and Carl want to bite my brain.
Donut Homer: I'm hiding here since Chinese people don't eat donuts.
Cookie Kwan: That's not true. Everyone likes donuts, including Chinese people…and including me!
Donut Homer: WAAAAH?!
If the user has Cookie Kwan: Task: Make Cookie Kwan Douse Donut Homer in Sweet 'n Sour Sauce
Time: 3h
Location: Madame Chao's, Chinese Restaurant or Brown House
Task: Make Donut Homer Run Before Cookie Kwan Eats Him
Time: 3h
Location: Madame Chao's, Chinese Restaurant or Brown House
Donut Homer: I almost had another donut hole in my head!
Donut Homer: And now I'm covered in Sweet 'n Sour Sauce…and more delicious than ever.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 3
Homer starts
Lyla: Homer, you're visiting the Buddhist Temple?
Donut Homer: Usually the first question people ask is, "What's going on with that donut head"?
Lyla: Buddhism has taught me to ignore head shape.
Donut Homer: Everyone wants to eat my head. But Buddhists are vegetarians, so I'm safe here.
Lyla: Donuts aren't meat, Homer.
Donut Homer: What?! Explain.
Task: Make Donut Homer Try to Crush Lyla with a Buddha Statue
Time: 3h
Location: Springfield Buddhist Temple or Brown House
If the user has Lyla: Task: Make Lyla Calm Donut Homer Down
Time: 3h
Location: Springfield Buddhist Temple or Brown House
Lyla: Homer, I'm not going to eat your head. You're a sentient being!
Donut Homer: How rude! I may be a little slow, but I'm still human.
Lyla: Um, right.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 4
Homer starts
Donut Homer: I'll sneak into the House of Evil and beg the Evil Shopkeeper to change me back to normal! Maybe one more bite before I do—
Donut Homer: Hey, what's he saying…?
Evil Shopkeeper: Mr. Szyslak, I need payment now! I told everybody that eating Homer's head would bring them good luck! That was the agreement.
Donut Homer: What?! Moe set me up?!
Moe: Uh, oh.
Task: Make Donut Homer Go on a Donut Head Rampage
Time: 8h
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Get Pummeled Senseless by a Giant Donut Head
Time: 8h
Location: House of Evil or Brown House
If the user has Evil Shopkeeper: Task: Make Evil Shopkeeper Regret Life Choices
Time: 8h
Location: House of Evil or Brown House
Moe: Okay, okay! Homer, we give!
Evil Shopkeeper: Who knew a giant donut head could make such an effective weapon?
Moe: He's like a delicious, deep-fried cranium-cracking cronut!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Like a Donut Hole in the Head Pt. 5
Homer starts
Lenny: There he is! Eat him!
Moe: Wait, guys! Ya can't eat Homer. The Evil Shopkeeper was lyin' because I paid him.
Evil Shopkeeper: All you gain from eating this oaf's head is mild indigestion and an evening spent on the toilet.
Carl: Aw, man, I really wanted that good luck!
Lenny: Carl and I have been luckless for thirty years.
Moe: Homer, I'm real sorry folks tried to chew off your gorgeous, glazed head. I guess I was just jealous of the attention you was gettin' .
Donut Homer: I understand, Moe. And I think I know someone who can help you!
Task: Make Donut Homer Ask Old Scratch for a Favor
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
If the user has Old Scratch: Task: Make Old Scratch Make Moe Special Too
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Finally Stand Out
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Donut Homer: There you go, Moe! You're all set.
Old Scratch: Always happy to help a friend of Homer's!
Pickle Moe: Aw geez, guys, this is great!
Pickle Moe: Look at me, everybody! I got a giant pickle for a head!
Femme Fatale: Ewww! You stink like pickle juice! Go away!
Sad Pickle Moe: Maybe I shoulda gone with a boiled egg...
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 1
Torture Coach starts
Torture Coach: That's it, class…lift and twist and jab and poke...find where your victim's pain is most extreme.
Hell Principals: Coach, may I have a word?
Torture Coach: Certainly, boss. Class, keep your pitchforks red hot while I'm gone.
Hell Principals: Sorry to interrupt but I just got off the horn with legal. There's a complication with your employment contract.
Torture Coach: *gasp* It's not my benefits, is it? I really need the free daycare. Torture Coach Jr. has grown to love where he is.
Hell Principals: No, no. It seems that when we hired you away from Torment Inc. we overlooked a non-compete clause.
Hell Principals: You're going to need to go on a sabbatical until it's sorted out.
Torture Coach: Paid?
Hell Principals: Unpaid.
Torture Coach: *sigh* I'll tell my class to cool their pitchforks.
Task: Make Torture Coach Head to the Bar
Time: 3h
Location: Hell Moe's, Hellscape, Moe's Tavern or Brown House
If the user has Hell Principals: Task: Make Hell Principals Review the Contract with Legal
Time: 3h
Location: Hellementary School, Hellscape, Flanders' Personal Hell or Brown House
Torture Coach: I also found out that sabbatical means loss of daycare, which is why Torture Coach Jr. is with me.
Demon Moe: I don't give a toot, but he can't sit at my bar. This may be Hell, but we got laws.
Torture Coach: *sigh* Son, go sit in a booth and Daddy will get you an apple juice.
Demon Moe: Best I can do is an apple martini.
Torture Coach: Just water then.
Demon Moe: If he don't like martinis he aint gonna like the water either.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 2
Torture Coach starts
Hell Teacher: Since we broke up, he's been posting lies about me on Flamebook. He updated his relationship status to "It's complicated".
Hell Teacher: What's complicated, Kevin?! We broke up! It's pretty simple!
Demon Moe: Yeah, whatever. Sounds like a real pain. You still nursing that drink?
Torture Coach: You should just torture him.
Torture Coach: Tape his eyelids open and make him watch '80s workout videos, or cover the iron maiden spikes with sriracha sauce.
Torture Coach: It's a classic that I put a twist on.
Hell Teacher: Wow, those are great. I'm gonna do them both! Thanks! *runs out the door*
Demon Moe: You're pretty good at that torture stuff. You could do that for a living.
Torture Coach: I WAS doing it for a living. But…you're right. I don't need some two-headed principal to give me permission to do it! I can torture pro bono!
Demon Moe: You should charge a little…enough to pay your drink tab. I got a business to run here.
Task: Make Torture Coach Go Pro Bono
Time: 1h
Location: Hell Moe's, Hellscape, Moe's Tavern, Flanders' Personal Hell or Brown House
If the user has Demon Moe: Task: Make Demon Moe Refill the Peanuts
Time: 1h
Location: Hell Moe's, Moe's Tavern, Hell's Kitchen, Flanders' Personal Hell or Brown House
Old Scratch: You want me to donate my gym so you can offer torture classes to my customers?
Torture Coach: Full disclosure, I'm gonna record the classes and put them on ViewTube.
Torture Coach: I can make a heck of a lot more that way than teaching little twerps at Hellementary School.
Old Scratch: I'm gonna need 25% of the take.
Torture Coach: How 'bout 15%!
Old Scratch: How 'bout 20% and I don't turn you to ash where you stand.
Torture Coach: Sounds like a deal.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 3
Torture Coach starts
Torture Coach: Alright class…choke up on the bat-o-nails and swing! Put your hips into it!
Hell Scientist: This is great! I'm learning torture techniques I can use for all eternity AND getting a workout!
Torture Coach: Kevin, look into the camera when you say that. And those of you watching at home, don't forget to like, subscribe, and smash that notification bell.
Task: Make Torture Coach Demonstrate Proper Nail Bat Technique
Time: 8h
Location: Old Scratch's Gym, Hellscape, Flanders' Personal Hell, Hell Labs or Brown House
Old Scratch: So how are we doing with revenue on our ViewTube channel?
Torture Coach: Building revenue takes time.
Old Scratch: I'll live forever but I don't want to wait forever. Now show Old Scratch some scratch!
Torture Coach: We're up to…fourteen cents. 20% of that is 2.8 cents. You want it now?
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 4
Torture Coach starts
Torture Coach: Keep running! Get those knees up! Higher! *snaps whip*
Hell Teacher: I thought you were teaching US to torture, not to BE tortured!
Torture Coach: In order to dole out torment one must feel the torment. Therein lies true enlightenment.
Hell Scientist: But we didn't ask for enlightenment. We just wanted to learn some cool torture tips!
Torture Coach: You get what you paid for. And you paid nothing. Now RUN!
Task: Make Torture Coach Whip Class Into Shape
Time: 4h
Old Scratch: Alright, so I paid for your new camera, lights, microphones and your wardrobe…
Torture Coach: I can't look like a schlub on ViewTube.
Old Scratch: And I've made a grand total of… *checks ViewTube account* one dollar and thirty-four cents.
Torture Coach: Um…may I remind you—
Old Scratch: Yes, I know! 20% of one dollar and thirty-four cents!!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
More Pain, No Gain Pt. 5
Torture Coach starts
Hell Principals: Coach, it looks like everything is fine now. We've cleared up the concern over your non-compete clause with Torment Inc.
Torture Coach: I hope our lawyers raked them over the coals!
Hell Principals: Uh…our lawyers asked nicely, and they said they didn't remember you.
Torture Coach: *gasp* After all the years I tortured for that company…
Task: Make Torture Coach Mope Back to Hellementary School
Time: 2h
Location: Hellementary School, Hellscape, Flanders' Personal Hell, Hell's Kitchen or Brown House
Torture Coach: Alright, kids. Today's lesson…lightning bolt electroshock.
Beelzebart: I'm so glad to have you back.
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 1
Demon Moe starts
Demon Moe: Say, Homer, since you're about to leave Hell, I was wonderin'… could you do me a favor when you head back upstairs.
Homer: Oh, no! I have to climb stairs?! This is hell!
Demon Moe: Uh, no. I mean when you leave Hell and go back to Springfield.
Demon Moe: I was thinkin' youse could invite the mortal Moe down here to get a preview of what he's got in store when he gets down here.
Homer: Are you sure this is where Moe's coming? I think he's a pretty good guy.
Demon Moe: Hoo boy. You don't know the dark side of Moe.
Task: Make Demon Moe Ask Homer for a Favor
Time: 1h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Agree to Do a Favor for Demon Moe
Time: 1h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Homer: So there are two Moes?
Demon Moe: No, I'm just the guy in charge of what he's gonna face when his butt lands here in Hades.
Homer: So you're like his guardian angel?
Demon Moe: Let's just go with that. I'm the guardian angel with the horns, a tail, and death breath.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 2
Homer starts
Homer: Hey, Demon Moe! I brought regular Moe down like you asked.
Demon Moe: Why'd you bring Lenny and Carl too?
Lenny: Homer said he was going to Cool Moe's.
Carl: We never met a Cool Moe so we had to come.
Moe: I don't get it. What is this place?
Demon Moe: This is where you're gonna spend eternity, pal.
Moe: Aw, geez. In the afterlife, I was hopin' to get out of the servin'-drinks-to-jerks business.
Task: Make Demon Moe Explain Moe's Fate
Time: 3h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Balk at His Fate
Time: 3h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Moe: Wait, so I'll have a miserable life, die, and spend a miserable eternity in this dump?
Demon Moe: Pretty much, yeah. Hope yer into smokey, hot, and sweaty.
Moe: What'd I do to deserve this?
Demon Moe: The watering down of drinks, the rhino horn business…
Moe: Big deal! Everybody does that.
Lenny: The shotgunning, the cheating at cards…
Carl: Selling rotten eggs, clubbing innocent rats…
Moe: Okay, everybody, stop already. I get it.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 3
Demon Moe starts
Moe: So your job is to torment me for eternity after I die?
Demon Moe: Like I always say: "Find a job you enjoy doing and you'll never have to work a day in your life". Right, Twainy?
Mark Twain: I wish I'd never said a lot of things.
Moe: And so you'll have to stay with me forever, in all my gripin', complaining and general miserableness. That's gonna be fun for you?
Demon Moe: Yep…wait, no.
Demon Moe: I may not have thought this through.
Moe: I can see that. *chuckles*
Task: Make Demon Moe Become Horrifically Depressed
Time: 4h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Enjoy Sharing the Pain
Time: 4h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 4
Demon Moe starts
Demon Moe: I concocted this eternal torment for you. It was s'posed to be really great!
Moe: It is great. You did a good job.
Demon Moe: But all I've done is set myself up to be miserable alongside you forever.
Moe: You ain't no Prince Charming yerself, pal.
Demon Moe: I don't like to look on the bright side, but it ain't all bad. I do own a bar, and that's pretty sweet.
Moe: That's the spirit. And I'll cover for ya on ladies' nights down here.
Demon Moe: Good luck with Lizzy Borden and Ma Barker. They are a couple of mean drunks!
Task: Make Demon Moe Relax and Enjoy Life
Time: 4h
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Where Everybody Knows Your Shame Pt. 5
Demon Moe starts
Moe: Well, I guess I'll head back home. Probably be seeing you soon, though. *sigh*
Demon Moe: There's still hope. Go to church, fold yer hands, and pray to the guy upstairs. If that works, you could go to heaven and I get to keep the bar.
Moe: Hey, you really think I got a shot at heaven?
Demon Moe: I don't wanna lie to you, but I'm gonna…sure you got a shot!
If the user has Moe: Task: Make Moe Wander Home
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern or Brown House
Task: Make Demon Moe Propose a Toast for Regular Moe
Time: 2h
Location: Hell Moe's or Brown House
Hell Scientist: So he just went back home?
Demon Moe: Yep. I can't help feelin' bad for the guy.
Hell Scientist: We should drink a toast to Moe.
Demon Moe: That's a real sweet thought.
Demon Moe: On the other hand, it seems like a waste of good alcohol. Moe wouldn't want that.
Hell Scientist: A FREE drink…to Moe!
Demon Moe: Get outta my bar, you bum!
Demon Moe: *pulls out baseball bat* Sweet thought is over!
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 1
Demon Technician starts
Old Scratch: Hey pal, great job, but HR says you have to use up some of your vacation days.
Demon Technician: No time for that. Besides, screams of agony are my vacation.
Demon Technician: Who would take a day off when one's job is to create so many horrifying pleas for mercy?
Old Scratch: You do have it pretty sweet.
Task: Make Demon Technician Fine Tune Torture Device
Time: 8h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt
If the user has Old Scratch: Task: Make Old Scratch Worry About HR Violations
Time: 8h
Location: Hellscape or Brown House
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 2
Demon Technician starts
Hell Teacher: Excuse me…um, sir. HR asked me to come down and speak with you.
Demon Technician: Why doesn't HR come talk to me themselves?
Hell Teacher: Frankly, sir, they're afraid of you.
Demon Technician: That's fair.
Hell Teacher: So…how 'bout taking a break and using up some of that vacation time?
Demon Technician: Just as soon as I get my Eye-Poking Machine recalibrated. Can you help me out?
Hell Teacher: Uh, I'm not really — OW! It's missing my eye and picking my nose!
Demon Technician: Damn…more recalibration is needed.
Task: Make Demon Technician Perfect Eye-Poking Tech
Time: 1h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt or Brown House
If the user has Hell Teacher: Task: Make Hell Teacher Leave in a Hurry
Time: 1h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt or Brown House
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 3
Demon Technician starts
Torture Coach: Say, Sid, the boss has asked me to talk to you. You need to take a break, or you're gonna get us all in trouble.
Demon Technician: Yeah, yeah, just as soon as I finish testing the new Gut Inverter.
Demon Technician: Hey, you want to see it in action?
Torture Coach: Well…
Demon Technician: No guts, no gory!
Torture Coach: AAAGGHHH! It works! It works!
Task: Make Demon Technician Torture With Sadistic Glee
Time: 4h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt
If the user has Torture Coach: Task: Make Torture Coach Watch the Master at Work
Time: 4h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt, Hellscape or Brown House
Torture Coach: Boy, with all the screaming, you'd think they wouldn't have the breath to ask for more coffee.
Demon Technician: We do like to make our victims feel at home…and in pain.
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 4
Demon Technician starts
God: Hey man, gonna need you to take a vacation.
Demon Technician: You're the head of HR?
God: Nah. I was passing through and HR asked me to do them a favor.
God: Even God takes vacations. I've been off all year. Haven't you noticed the world has gone to Hell?
Demon Technician: Wow, I guess I've been too busy to notice.
God: Take a day and come along with me to Krustyland. You can hear people scream my name in terror.
Task: Make Demon Technician Tag Along to Krustyland
Time: 6h
Location: The Tooth Chipper, Krustyland Entrance or Brown House
If the user has God: Task: Make God Ride the Tooth Chipper Over and Over
Time: 6h
Location: The Tooth Chipper, Krustyland Entrance or Brown House
God: See, that was fun! And it's healthy to get your mind off work for a bit.
Demon Technician: Are you kidding? I've got so many new ideas now. I can't wait to get back to the shop!
Quest rewards: $100 and 10 XP
Roamin' Holiday Pt. 5
Demon Technician starts
Demon Technician: I'm back from my vacation! I didn't exactly relax, though.
Old Scratch: Hey, whatever. I just needed HR off my back. Now I can tell them to go to He — uh, go to Here.
Demon Technician: And look at this backlog of damned souls that need processing. I'm in Heaven! By which I mean Hell!
Task: Make Demon Technician Do What He Does Best
Time: 4h
Location: Torture Conveyor Belt
Quest rewards: $200 and 20 XP
