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Bart Royale and Valentine's Day 2018: Premium Walkthrough

LPNintendoITA
11382 posts Member
edited February 2018
Spite the Hans That Sees You Pt. 1

Hans Mechman starts

Hans Mechman: System online.
Hans Mechman: Seeking targets.
Bart: The robots have risen up, again!
Bart: Oh, never mind, this one looks like it fell out of a children's book.
Hans Mechman: Target acquired.
Bart: Dad, help! Not my dad. A good dad, help!
Hans Mechman: Lesson administered.
Bart: The giant tea kettle spanked me.

Task: Make Hans Mechman Seek Targets
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Spite the Hans That Sees You Pt. 2

Lisa starts

Lisa: Is it just me, or does the robot's head look like Mr. Moleman?
Bart: So, it looks like a shriveled prune shuffling in baggy pants and slippers?
Hans Mechman: Repeated youth disrespect recorded.
Hans Mechman: Combat Mode engaged.

Task: Make Hans Mechman Annihilate Targets
Time: 4h

On job start:
Bart: I'm a goner for sure!
Hans Mechman: *blast*
Bart: It missed.
Bart: Ha-ha! It's got Moleman's eyesight. This thing couldn't hit the broad side of a Bart.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Spite the Hans That Sees You Pt. 3

Lisa starts

Lisa: It seems to have a problem when Bart mocks it.
Wiggum: All right, spit it out “Hans Goober”.
Wiggum: Did you make a robot to target Springfield's youth?
Hans Moleman: Thirty years ago, I was badgered by a group of boys. I swore that someday I would have my revenge, but wasn't sure how I would get it given I was in the same shape then, as I am now.
Hans Moleman: Then I saw a movie about cybernetic robots killing some punks and it came to me.
Hans Moleman: Now it's finally complete and revenge will be mine! Mechman, attack-k-k!
Hans Mechman: Energy low. Please replace sixty D batteries. Enough power for long SIGHHHHHH…

Task: Make Hans Mechman Recharge
Time: 8h
Location: Brown House
If the user has Hans Moleman: Task: Make Hans Moleman Replace Batteries
Time: 8h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Spite the Hans That Sees You Pt. 4

Hans Mechman starts

Hans Mechman: Power on. Firmware updated. Resuming mission.
Lisa: Bart, I don't suppose you've learned a lesson from before and will mind your manners now?
Bart: What are manners? I want to see what else this robo-fossil can fail at.
Hans Mechman: Mocking registered. Modern combat protocols engaged.

Task: Make Hans Mechman Engage in Digital Warfare
Time: 12h
Location: Simpson House

On job start:
Bart: “Digital warfare”? What kind of lame…hey…it's hacking into my phone!
Bart: It's in my Facelook profile, Liking pages for old farts!
Nelson: Haw-haw, you Liked medicated butt powder!

On job end:
Bart: Chief, aren't you going to do something about this?
Wiggum: Not much I can do. Springfield has an “Eye for an Eye” law.
Wiggum: Really surprised he hasn't taken your eye. ‘Cause that would be fine too.
Bart: Good point.

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Triumph of Ill Pt. 1

Wendell Borton starts

Wendell Borton: I finally made it out…oh sweet sunshine on my terribly pale face!
Bart: Wendell! Where have you been this whole time?
Wendell Borton: I was in the arcade when the whole building shook. I got so sick to my stomach I've been in the bathroom for what feels like years.
Bart: It was years. There's been an “out of order” sign on that stall since I was six. Let me catch you up on things.

Task: Make Bart Explain Everything to Wendell Borton
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Requires: Wendell Borton
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Triumph of Ill Pt. 2

Wendell Borton starts

Wendell Borton: That's the last time I let my sensitive stomach get the best of me! There must be a way to beat it.
Dr. Hibbert: Sometimes things can be overcome by training your body to power through it. Most sailors get sea sick their first tour, but their bodies are forced to overcome it to survive.
Wendell Borton: Then that's what I'll do. Where do I sign up to be a pirate?
Bart: Pirates aren't cool anymore. Blame Johnny Depp.
Wendell Borton: There has to be something I can do to overcome this. Maybe I can get ideas from the school library?

Task: Make Wendell Borton Look at Exciting Careers in School Library
Time: 8h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Triumph of Ill Pt. 3

Wendell Borton starts

Wendell Borton: I've got it! I found something!
Bart: You actually discovered something useful in an elementary school library?
Wendell Borton: No, but when I was staring out the window I saw the monkey bars.
Wendell Borton: I've always been terrified of playing on them because of my fear of heights.
Wendell Borton: I'll spend all day on them. Surely that will cure it.
Bart: Or give you tetanus!

Task: Make Wendell Borton Face the Monkey Bars
Time: 8h
Location: Monkey Bars

On job start:
Wendell Borton: I'm doing it! I'm not only playing on the monkey bars. I'm WALKING on the monkey bars, I'm SWINGING on the monkey bars, I'm--
Wendell Borton: Oh no…
Wendell Borton: *sickening gurgle*

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Triumph of Ill Pt. 4

Wendell Borton starts

Wendell Borton: I…I…made it. I didn't throw up.
Bart: You sure you're not dizzy?
Wendell Borton: Don't say “dizzy”…
Bart: Or queasy, or woozy, or egg salad sandwich sitting in the sun…
Wendell Borton: Oh, no…it's the big one!

Task: Make Wendell Borton Get Extremely Sick
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Triumph of Ill Pt. 5

Wendell Borton starts

Wendell Borton: I'll never get over this. I'll always get motion sick. I'll never be able to do anything fun or anything with motion in it.
Lance Murdock: Hey there, kiddo. I couldn't help overhearing your predicament. Mostly ‘cause I'm nosey.
Lance Murdock: Listen, when I was a kid I went through the same thing. And you know how I got through it?
Wendell Borton: You started jumping buses and canyons on your motorcycle?
Lance Murdock: No, those are all video tricks. Never happened. Your trick should be throwing up BEFORE you get sick. When I'm feeling queasy thinking about a high-flying stunt, I lean into it and blow chow before the stunt.
Lance Murdock: If you replay some of my old stunts you'll see me dry-heaving like crazy under the ramp.

Task: Make Wendell Borton Control His Sickness
Time: 1h
Location: Monkey Bars

Wendell Borton: I've thrown up so much I don't have any energy to play…
Dr. Hibbert: Son, you're dehydrated!
Dr. Hibbert: Let me ask, do you feel dizzy, queasy, woozy? How ‘bout a warm egg salad sandwich. *CHUCKLES*
Wendell Borton: Egg salad? Oh no…

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Botched Ball Pt. 1

Erik starts

Erik: Hey, Bart! Want to have a game of one-on-one dodgeball?
Bart: Sure, get rid of Milhouse so you can't make some lucky catch off his face.
Erik: I make face catches like that in my sleep.
Bart: Face catches are weak!
Erik: Not when they're coming off your face!

Task: Make Erik Take on Bart
Time: 3h
Location: Dodgeball Court
Requires: Bart

Lucius Sweet: Hey Kid! I was just passing by when I happened to look up from my champagne bottle and saw some of your sweet moves.
Lucius Sweet: I've been planning to put together a sports team, and I think you could be just the ticket to kicking it off.
Erik: A dodgeball team?
Lucius Sweet: Is that what this is? Well, as long as it's got an international circuit to promote that's all that matters.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Botched Ball Pt. 2

Erik starts

Erik: Okay, Mr. Sweet. What's the first item on our trip to the top?
Lucius Sweet: First is the training montage. Run around town practicing your skills. Set it to some music so everyone is inspired by how hard you're working.
Erik: Um, okay. But people don't really practice dodgeball outside of a court.
Lucius Sweet: Everything can be practiced outside. Now show me some hustle!

Task: Make Erik Practice Dodgeball
Time: 4h

On job start:
Erik: Maybe this isn't so bad. *hits dodgeball*
Lisa: *smack*
Lisa: Hey!
Erik: Uh, sorry! I'll throw it this way.
Homer: Did someone get the license plate of that truck?
Erik: This is going to be a long training…

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Botched Ball Pt. 3

Erik starts

Erik: What's next in my rise to the top?
Lucius Sweet: Gotta build excitement for your debut.
Lucius Sweet: We need press all over town to reach an audience of your peers.
Erik: But my peers are all kids. They don't get all over town.
Lucius Sweet: Hmm, true. I guess we'll have to just double-down on the adult press!
Erik: Do adults even watch news anymore?
Lucius Sweet: The ones with lots of money to throw around at sport events do!

Task: Make Erik Get Interviewed by School Paper
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Requires: Lisa
Task: Make Erik Get Interviewed by Channel 6 News
Time: 4h
Location: Channel 6 or Brown House

Lucius Sweet: I think that went well. Here, have a drink. This will keep your energy up.
Erik: *drinks* Thanks, Mr. Sweet.
Erik: Whew, that's got a dodgeball-size kick.
Lisa: What was in that?

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP


Botched Ball Pt. 4

Erik starts

Erik: All-right-already-already-all-right! Let's dodge some ball! Dodge ball! Dodge ball! Dodge that ball!
Erik: I could dodge the sun right now. Dodge-spin-dodge-jump. Dodge ball!
Lisa: Erik, have you been taking performance enhancing substances?
Erik: Drugs? I-don't-take-drugs. What-makes-you-think-I-take-drugs? Drugs are for slugs. Did I make that up? I'm awesome!
Lisa: You're kind of wired and talking nonsense.

Task: Make Erik Blow Off Some Energy
Time: 2h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Lisa Test the Drink Cup
Time: 8h
Location: Police Station

Wiggum: Here's your test, Lisa. Let's see what we have here.
Wiggum: I hate reading science. Tri...methyl..xan…
Wiggum: Oh God, the kid's on meth! Just remember, I called it first!
Lisa: Let me see that.
Lisa: Caffeine. The words you can't pronounce are the chemical formula of caffeine.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP


Botched Ball Pt. 5

Erik starts

Erik: Mr. Sweet? I think I need another drink. I'm really crashing here.
Lisa: Don't do it, Erik! Mr. Sweet has been feeding you caffeine!
Erik: But that's a banned substance in elementary dodgeball competition!
Willie: Aye it is, and such a violation comes with extreme penalties. Bring him to the whipping stone!
Lisa: Too harsh, Willie. The penalty is a one-game suspension.
Willie: I never get to use me whipping stone.

Task: Make Erik Sit Out a Game
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary

Erik: My professional dodgeball career is over.
Lucius Sweet: Don't sweat it. Some football kid will get caught throwing a game to cover his dad's gambling addiction and they'll forget all about this.
Erik: I guess that'll give me time to work on my game. I wonder if Bart's up for another?

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Con Err Pt. 1

Jeremy Jailbird starts

Jeremy Jailbird: Nothing like the noxious smell of the Springfield tire fire to remind me I'm free.
Snake: My offspring's been sprung! Let's get something to eat and catch up, dad to little dude.
Jeremy Jailbird: Sounds good, Daddy.
Lisa: While I am sad it must exist, it's good to see the criminal reform system at work.

Task: Make Jeremy Jailbird Share a Meal With Snake
Time: 4h
Location: Krusty Burger
Requires: Snake
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Con Err Pt. 2

Jeremy Jailbird starts

Jeremy Jailbird: The first item on my court mandated release says I need to make “amends”.
Jeremy Jailbird: I have no idea what that means.
Lisa: “Amends” means paying back the community for the damage you caused.
Jeremy Jailbird: Sorry, I'm behind on reading skills. All the juvie library has are Itchy & Scratchy picture books.
Jeremy Jailbird: But, I have learned how to gut a cat and make use of every part of the body.
Lisa: While Springfield has a stray cat problem, I think you'll want to find a less violent way to make amends.

Task: Make Jeremy Jailbird Think of Ways to Make Amends
Time: 8h
Location: Brown House
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Con Err Pt. 3

Jeremy Jailbird starts

Jeremy Jailbird: Daddy helped me figure out how to make amends.
Jeremy Jailbird: I'll sell these Con-bears to raise money for the Juvenile Correctional programs.
Jeremy Jailbird: When you “release” it from the box, you discover that each bear is messed up in some way.
Jeremy Jailbird: You can collect them all to see just how badly the Springfield juvenile system needs your help.
Lisa: Wow, that sounds perfect!

Task: Make Jeremy Jailbird Sell Con-Bears
Time: 8h

On job start:
Bart: Check it out, Milhouse! Junior Jailbird is selling convict teddy bears.
Bart: I bet he's got an angle. He's pocketing the money for himself or something.
Lisa: Bart! He's doing a wonderful thing to help a juvenile system that you will probably go through some day!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Con Err Pt. 4

Jeremy Jailbird starts

Jeremy Jailbird: All right Pops, I've sold all the bears.
Snake: That's my boy!
Snake: Now, let's grab some grub. I've got some Father and Son nighttime activities planned.
Jeremy Jailbird: Yay! Are we playing “Nab and Grab”?
Snake: That's the only game Daddy knows!

Task: Make Jeremy Jailbird Play a Game With Snake
Time: 12h
Requires: Snake

Ned: I've been ro-diddly-obbed! My VCR! It's gone!
Homer: Who took it, the 1980's?
Ned: I needed that! I haven't transferred my bible stories to DVD yet.
Ned: We're still figuring out if laser technology is the Devil's work or not.
Homer: Aaaaah! My Blu-Ray player has been yoinked too!
Homer: Can it be? The Simpsons must turn to streaming?

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Con Err Pt. 5

Lisa starts

Lisa: It's interesting that we were all robbed after buying Con-Bears.
Lisa: I should have known. There's a camera for an eye and a Wi-Fi antenna for a tail. Bears don't have tails!
Lisa: The Turley's used these cuddly plushies to scope out houses in Springfield and then rob them.
Snake: Whoa, like, that is an ugly accusation to make about a dad and his little dude.
Jeremy Jailbird: I think it's time to bury some evidence, Dad.
Snake: Totally.

Task: Make Jeremy Jailbird Throw Away Evidence
Time: 4h

Wiggum: Well, I haven't recovered any evidence.
Lisa: What about these bears?
Wiggum: We can't keep blaming everything that goes wrong in this town on these camera bears.
Wiggum: Even though it sure would save a lot of paperwork.
Wiggum: Instead, we'll just use ‘em for traffic cameras!
Lisa: I guess Jeremy helped the community after all.

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Simpler Livin' Pt. 1

Mountain Man starts

Mountain Man: Don't that bust a hump! Urban sprawl has finally climbed up my mountain.
Mountain Man: Best get the lay of the land; see what kinda threats are out there and iffin' I need to poke some holes in the system with my smokin' hole poker.

Task: Place Stop Sign [x2]
Task: Make Mountain Man Shoot Stop Signs
Time: 4h
Location: Stop Sign

On job start:
Wiggum: Hold up there, Shoot to Swill! You can't keep blasting holes in the first stop sign you see.
Wiggum: Town ordnances state a five shot maximum per sign.
Wiggum: Do you know how much goes into replacing a sign? We gotta put down cones and…it's just a whole thing. We don't want that kind of hassle.

On job end:
Cletus: Hey feller, here's a tip from yokel to mountain man: use bird-shot to get around the five shot law.
Cletus: They's ain't much left after five blasts of all them BB's.
Mountain Man: Right nice tip, pal!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Simpler Livin' Pt. 2

Mountain Man starts

Mountain Man: Say, what do you think about givin' me the penny tour around here?
Cletus: “Penny”? ‘Round these parts tours cost a nickel.
Mountain Man: Blasted city prices. What a rip-off!
Cletus: I's don't make the rules.
Mountain Man: Fine. Let's get on with it.

Task: Make Mountain Man Tour Springfield With Cletus
Time: 4h
Requires: Cletus

On job start:
Cletus: That's the Krusty Burger. You can sell ‘em anything you catch or kill and they don't ask no questions.
Mountain Man: Mincin' meat into flat patties? What happened to fryin' ferret with the face on?
Cletus: And over there's the public bathroom. The showers are free. Only cuz of busted water pipes over the toilets.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Simpler Livin' Pt. 3

Mountain Man starts

Mountain Man: You city folk sure are spoiled with your running water and food practically chewed up for you!
Mountain Man: You even let the government dictate when you's gotta stop and go!
Mountain Man: I need to get outta here ‘fore I get so city-fied I need a service pig to pull my boots on and off.

Task: Make Mountain Man Retreat to His Mountain
Time: 12h
Location: Outland Sign
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Simpler Livin' Pt. 4

Mountain Man starts

Mountain Man: I need to get back to my roots.
Mountain Man: Meanin' eatin' roots, burdock weed, and tree sap.
Mountain Man: Certainly will taste better than some minced chicken pressed into clown shapes!

Task: Place Trees [x3]
Task: Make Mountain Man Live Off the Land
Time: 8h
Location: Trees
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Post edited by LPNintendoITA on

Replies

  • LPNintendoITA
    11382 posts Member
    edited February 2018
    Chilling Deal Pt. 1

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills starts

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: This town reeks of thawed meat, easily twisted and cut.
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: I will draw their gaze and freeze their hearts to my will.
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: Then, when the town is conquered, we will blow forth on an icy wind and bury the world!

    Task: Make Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills Hack Channel 6 Antenna
    Time: 4h
    Location: Channel 6 or Brown House
    Task: Make Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills Prepare Pirated Broadcast
    Time: 4h
    Location: Refrigeratorium
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Chilling Deal Pt. 2

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills starts

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: People of Springfield! I am the Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills! Bow before me!
    Lisa: Ugh, another one of these crazy local tv ads.
    Homer: Quiet, Lisa! I want to hear what this quirky guy is selling.
    Bart: I bet it's fridges.
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: You are summoned to my Refrigeratorium, where you will submit to my icy rule.
    Bart: Yep, called it. Refrigerators.

    Task: Make Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills Broadcast Demands
    Time: 4h
    Location: Refrigeratorium
    Task: Make Springfielders Mistake Threats for Local Business Ad [x5]
    Time: 4h
    Location: Refrigeratorium

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: Approach, pop-cicle, and receive the frozen touch of the Bishop.
    Homer: I'm not interested in any touching – frozen, hot, or otherwise. Just point me to the freezers you're hawking?
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: What? You're not here to submit?
    Homer: To what, a credit check? Ugh! A guy gets a couple dozen credit cards revoked and suddenly he's “a risk”.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Chilling Deal Pt. 3

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills starts

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: These appliances are not for sale!
    Homer: Look, you got freezers, and I got frozen pizzas thawing in need of one.
    Homer: So, are we going to do this deal or not?
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: Well… I could use the cash. I haven't had a hot meal in weeks.

    Task: Make Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills Reluctantly Sell Appliances
    Time: 8h
    Location: Refrigeratorium
    Task: Make Springfielders Buy Appliances [x5]
    Time: 8h
    Location: Refrigeratorium
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Chilling Deal Pt. 4

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills starts

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: With brrr-isk sales and a full stomach, I can once again cast my icy grip on the world.
    Marge: Hey, Mr. Bishop? This freezer unit you sold my husband isn't working.
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: How is that my problem?
    Marge: If you expect anyone to take you seriously you're going to have to back up your word.
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: The blue-haired lady has a point. If I can't guarantee my products, how can I guarantee citizens of my frigid takeover.

    Task: Make Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills Service His Appliances
    Time: 8h

    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: Success! This freezer is now the ULTIMATE appliance in your home. Behold, all other devices retreat from its frigid aura!
    Marge: Right…well, thanks. I'll be sure to give you five stars in my review!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Chilling Deal Pt. 5

    Skinner starts

    Skinner: Excuse me, Mr. Bishop? The school freezers have never been up to code. Many are just oil drums packed with snow.
    Skinner: Would you be able to help out a school of young students with its refrigeration needs?
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: A chance to control young minds? This could be the opportunity of an ice-time!
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: *evil laughter*
    Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills: *continued evil laughter*
    Skinner: So, that's a yes?

    Task: Make Ice Bishop of Beverly Hills Embrace Appliance Sales
    Time: 8h
    Location: Refrigeratorium
    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

    Paradox Reality Pt. 1

    Peta starts

    Peta: You know what, Pita? I've been thinking about how we were so easily taken out in the arena.
    Pita: Yeah, don't remind me. I was taken out holding a flower. Embarrassing!
    Peta: And all I had was a cape of leaves. The way I see it, we've got a second chance at life, and we shouldn't waste it showing off for a love interest.
    Pita: You're right, we need to make the most of this opportunity.

    Task: Make Pita Consider His New Life Opportunity
    Time: 8h
    Location: Brown House
    Task: Make Peta Consider His New Life Opportunity
    Time: 8h
    Location: Brown House
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Paradox Reality Pt. 2

    Pita starts

    Pita: Well, I can't get that damned flower out of my head.
    Pita: I think I'm going to have to put considerable time into figuring out what it means to me.
    Peta: That's cool, man. You do you.
    Peta: I've figured out what I'm going to do as well. And it will not have anything to do with capes of leaves or flowers.

    Task: Make Pita Sculpt His Feelings
    Time: 4h
    Task: Make Peta Train to Be a Better Warrior
    Time: 4h
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Paradox Reality Pt. 3

    Pita starts

    Pita: No matter how many times, or how many ways I sculpt it, it's not right. Why is it never right!?
    Peta: I'm a terrible fighter. I've dropped a knife on my foot more times than I can count and fainted at the THOUGHT of the sight of my own blood.
    Pita: We can't give up; we need to help each other through this.
    Peta: You're right! We need to do it again!

    Task: Make Pita Sculpt His Feelings
    Time: 4h
    Task: Make Peta Train to Be a Better Warrior
    Time: 4h
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Paradox Reality Pt. 4

    Pita starts

    Pita: There…I've surrounded myself with sculptures and am too tired to think of anything.
    Peta: I think I only cut myself three times in that session.
    Pita: That's hero level stuff!
    Peta: Want to get a bite to eat? I'm famished.

    Task: Make Pita Eat a Salad
    Time: 8h
    Location: Krusty Burger
    Task: Make Peta Eat Meat Lover's Burger
    Time: 8h
    Location: Krusty Burger
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Paradox Reality Pt. 5

    Pita starts

    Pita: It's nice outside the dome, exploring other interests, without worrying about being brutally killed at any moment.
    Pita: I don't know about you, but I'm in no rush to go back. Want to see what else is around?
    Peta: Okay, but can we call it reconnaissance? I don't want to lose what little bit of warrior edge I finally found.

    Task: Make Pita and Peta Get Comfortable With Springfield
    Time: 4h
    Location: Shops
    Requires: Peta

    Peta: Ohhh, I don't feel so good.
    Pita: I think the food from Krusty Burger has poisoned us.
    Peta: And I was almost run over by a madman texting on his phone.
    Pita: On second thought, I think we're safer in the dome. Let's go back.

    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

    Moe's Express Promotion

    Gil starts

    Gil: With all the fighting over the Mega Playscape, Ol' Gil has hit the skids again.
    Gil: Where are good guys like me supposed to nod off after a day of doing nothing?
    Gil: That's what I used to ask myself before finding this Moe's Express kit.
    Gil: If you'd just help set ‘er up, Ol' Gil and the boys will have a place to park it between sittings at Moe's Tavern!

    Offer accepted:
    Gil: Wow, thanks, my pale ale pal!
    Gil: I'd offer to buy you a beer but my wallet's drier than you are.

    Offer declined:
    Gil: It was worth a shot. Since I can't even afford the nails to put this together I guess I'll burn the wood for warmth.

    The Customer is Always Trite Pt. 1

    Moe starts

    Moe: Moe's Express is open for business!
    Larry: Hey, this is great, Moe. Us boozehounds were getting elbow to elbow in your regular bar.
    Sam: Thanks, Moe. This gives us the chance to pull ourselves off the floor and get drunk in public again!
    Moe: Whoa, wait up. I didn't rebuild this thing just for you losers!
    Moe: I'm shootin' for a whole new clientele. Classy people with money. People on the go not people who just need a place to “go".

    Task: Make Moe Serve Express Drinks
    Time: 4h
    Location: Moe's Express
    Task: Make Moe's Regulars Drink at Moe's [x5]
    Time: 4h
    Location: Moe's Tavern

    On job start:
    Homer: I'm sure Moe won't mind if we just pour for ourselves.
    Larry: Yeah, it's what he would want.
    Barney: Hey, I just found our bar tabs!
    Sam: Whoops, I accidentally tore them up, lit them on fire, and washed the ashes down the drain...
    Homer: That still might not be good enough to dupe Moe.

    On job end:
    Moe: Where the heck was everyone? Not a single customer.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    The Customer is Always Trite Pt. 2

    Larry starts

    Larry: So, now that Moe's busy with his new bar, what are we going to do?
    Homer: Beside drink until the taps run dry, you mean?
    Sam: Hey, Larry, with all this free time we could finally work on my, uh, business plan!
    Homer: My plan is to drink Moe's beer. And I mean business!
    Larry: I try not to mix business with pleasure. But I do mix business with beer. It works for me!

    Task: Make Moe Get Frustrated Serving Express Drinks
    Time: 8h
    Location: Moe's Express
    Task: Make Sam Pitch Ideas to Larry
    Time: 8h
    Location: Brown House
    Requires: Larry

    On job start:
    Sam: ... so then we pocket some of the cash and use the rest to pay back the previous investors.
    Larry: Wow, that's genius. I can't believe no one has ever thought of this before!
    Larry: Guess my brain is just that much bigger. Wait ‘til I tell everyone about it.

    On job end:
    Moe: Why is no one coming to this super convenient express bar!?

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    The Customer is Always Trite Pt. 3

    Moe starts

    Moe: Okay, I'm back, ya bums...
    Moe: What've you done to my bar?!
    Larry: Hey, Moe, would you like to invest in our business?
    Moe: How about I invest in kicking your ass out of here!
    Larry: Interesting counter offer. Let me run it past my business partners.

    Task: Make Moe Kick Out His Regulars
    Time: 4h
    Location: Moe's Tavern

    On job start:
    Homer: Good job, Larry! Now where are we going to drink?!
    Barney: Yeah, and don't think we've forgotten your part in all this, Sam!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    The Customer is Always Trite Pt. 4

    Larry starts

    Larry: Okay, Sam, we need to come up with a new plan.
    Sam: Scheming is always best over a stiff drink!
    Larry: Good plan - to Moe's!
    Sam: ...
    Larry: Oh, right. Okay, well Plan B then.

    Task: Make Larry Drink at the Brown House With Sam
    Time: 12h
    Location: Brown House
    Requires: Sam

    On job start:
    Larry: Why don't we just drink here all the time?
    Sam: Good point. The prices are better, beer isn't watered down and there's no ugly guy glaring at us over the bar.

    On job end:
    Moe: It's been nice havin' time without them bums around so I could spruce the ol' place up.
    Moe: I even cleaned the roaches out of the cash register by handin' em out as change.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    The Customer is Always Trite Pt. 5

    Sam starts

    Sam: Look, why don't we just go drink at Moe's new place?
    Larry: Moe's no fool. He learned his lesson when we had drank up every drop from his old place.
    Sam: You sure?
    Larry: I'll call the guys.

    Task: Make Moe's Regulars Drink at Moe's Express [x5]
    Time: 4h
    Location: Moe's Express

    On job start:
    Moe: The bar's all sorted out and nice-like again. I can get back to the new place…
    Moe: Really, fellas?!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    The Customer is Always Trite Pt. 6

    Larry starts

    Larry: Uh...hey, Moe...
    Moe: Aw, forget it, I can't stay mad at my only customers who drink excessively.
    Moe: Now drink up. It's time to show this town what a real booze-up looks like!
    System Message: You can now send Homer, Barney, Lenny, Carl, Sam, Larry, and Moe on animated jobs at Moe's Express!

    Task: Make Moe Serve Drinks at Moe's Express
    Time: 4h
    Location: Moe's Express
    Task: Make Moe's Regulars Drink at Moe's Express [x5]
    Time: 4h
    Location: Moe's Express
    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

    Wafflin' On

    Grampa starts

    Grampa: Ahhh!
    Jasper: What's wrong, Abe?
    Grampa: Our old enemy, the Luftwaffe, have finally caught up to us!
    Lisa: What? No, it's just a waffle house with an attempt at a clever name.
    Jasper: Making light of the Great Wars? That's a paddlin'!

    Task: Make Oldies Storm the Benches [x2]
    Time: 12h
    Location: Luftwaffles

    Grampa: I can't go on. Tell my family I love 'em! But not all of ‘em. I'll give you a list.
    Jasper: If you're checking out before finishing your waffle, pass it on over 'ere.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    V-Toll

    Milhouse starts

    Milhouse: Bart! Let's go on the chopper ride! I've always wanted to soar!
    Nelson: Hold up there. All riders shorter than me have to pay extra!
    Milhouse: What, that's not fair! Just because you're bigger, and stronger, and meaner...
    Bart: You just made his points for him. Milhouse, pay the man.

    Task: Make Youngsters Get to the Chopper [x5]
    Time: 4h
    Location: Chopper Ride
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Outlandish Creations Pt. 1

    Marge starts

    Marge: Homer, why have you built a factory in the middle of nowhere?
    Homer: Oh Marge, if I built it at home the DEA would find it.
    Marge: The DEA?! Do I even want to know what you're up to?
    Homer: Sweetie, do you ever?
    Marge: No, I suppose not. Just keep your bail to the normal limits please.

    Task: Make Homer Stock Suspicious Supplies
    Time: 30m
    Location: Outlands Factory

    Homer: There, that's the last of it.
    Homer: Now remember our deal. No one must find out!
    Professor Frink: Yes, yes, I remember. Although this would go faster if I was allowed to work with some light...

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Outlandish Creations Pt. 2

    Professor Frink starts

    Professor Frink: Okay, Homer-
    Homer: NO NAMES!
    Professor Frink: Right, er, No Name Simpson.
    Homer: That's better.
    Professor Frink: As I was saying. I believe I have created what you've asked for.
    Homer: Great! If this works you'll be a hero.
    Professor Frink: And allowed to go home, hoyvin! You promised to let me go home!

    Task: Make Homer Test the Results
    Time: 4h
    Location: Outlands Factory

    Homer: Oh yes...texture...flavor... sugar headache...
    Homer: You did it! You re-created Lard Lad's frosting!
    Homer: First frosting, then the world!
    Professor Frink: Gloyvin...

    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

    Grabbin' Grub

    Homer starts

    Homer: Ooh, new eatery! Don't mind if I do!

    Task: Make Homer Get Some Grub
    Time: 4h
    Location: Grub Shack
    Task: Make Lisa Enjoy an Insectivorian Meal
    Time: 1h
    Location: Grub Shack

    Homer: Ohh yes, that's some good grub!
    Lisa: While I'm still a vegetarian, I'm glad you're experimenting with insectivorianism, Dad.
    Homer: Wait, insector-what now?
    Lisa: The grub shack, the food there is actual grubs. They're a nutritious and sustainable food source...
    Homer: Uuuuhhhh....
    Lisa: Dad, are you okay?
    Homer: The thought of it makes me sick, but the crispity-crunch makes me want more!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Blue Collar

    Lisa starts

    Lisa: What is that thing? Is that molten metal?! This is an environmental disaster in progress!
    Quimby: That's our new, er, iron processing plant.
    Quimby: It's generated two whole jobs, beating my critics' projections by one hundred percent!
    Lisa: All that noise and pollution for just two jobs?
    Quimby: Actually one of the jobs is for a dog...but she supervises a genuine, fully paid, technician!
    Cletus: That's right. I takes orders from a Border Collie.

    Task: Make Cletus Feed His Supervisor
    Time: 1h
    Location: Slaghold
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Safe Power

    Smithers starts

    Smithers: Sir, the reactor core is failing. We need to evacuate!
    Mr. Burns: Oh, calm down, you fluttering fancy. The core isn't in any danger.
    Mr. Burns: I sold off the radioactive material after the last time that nincompoop Simpson dropped a rod down his shirt.
    Smithers: But, then how are we supplying the town with power?
    Mr. Burns: We're simply reselling the spare power those hippies and their fancy solar panels are generating.
    Mr. Burns: Now, get back to work and make it look like we're operating a dangerous nuclear facility!

    Task: Make Plant Workers Work a Plant Shift [x3]
    Time: 8h
    Location: Cooling Towers
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Gas Pipes

    Willie starts

    Willie: I heard you was lookin' for an outlaw musician?
    Willie: No instrument is more outlawed than the venerable bagpipes.
    Otto: Woah, man, that's not what I meant by outlaw.
    Willie: Too late, long haired laddie. Once a Scotsman unsheathes his bagpipes they cannae resheathed until ears have bled!
    Otto: Dude, now that's a jam I can get behind. Strap in and rock on, man!

    Task: Make Willie Play the Bagpipes of Wrath
    Time: 8h
    Location: Bagpipe Bus

    On job start:
    Willie: Hear me!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Snuggle Bug Pt. 1

    Marge starts

    Marge: Homie, I think I need to get away for a bit.
    Homer: Oh Marge, you and your wild goings on! What kind of scrape or bungle did you get yourself into this time?
    Marge: What? No! I just need a break from all the crazy things going on in this town.
    Marge: Maybe we could get away to somewhere romantic where we can... snuggle...
    Homer: Woo hoo! You said the "S" word!

    Task: Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern
    Task: Make Homer Research Snuggle Locations
    Time: 6s
    Location: Simpson House
    Task: Make Homer Research Snuggle Locations
    Time: 12h
    Location: Simpson House

    On job start:
    Homer: Uh...that's enough. My internet search history is now all 'snuggle locations'.

    On job end:
    Marge: I found this great place called Snuggler's Cove! What did you find, Homie?
    Homer: What you found sounds much better than Hook-Up Hideaway!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Snuggle Bug Pt. 2

    Homer starts

    Homer: Ok, so what's Snuggler's Cove got that Sleepin' Ain't Cheatin's and Lay It Again Sam's doesn't?
    Marge: Well, it has wonderful views, emperor-size beds...
    Homer: The food, Marge, the food?
    Marge: Oh, well it has in-room catering...
    Homer: Take me, my body is ready!

    Task: Make Marge Check-in to Relaxation
    Time: 4h
    Location: Snuggler's Cove
    Task: Make Homer Order in-Room Catering
    Time: 4h
    Location: Snuggler's Cove

    On job start:
    Marge: Oh this is just perfect, it's so nice to have a change of pace.
    Homer: I changed my pace...of eating! I'm never leaving bed for breakfast, lunch, or dinner again!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Snuggle Bug Pt. 3

    Marge starts

    Marge: So, Homie, now that we're here...I think I'm ready...
    Homer: For more food. Right. I'm on it.
    Marge: Well...I was thinking of something else...
    Homer: Oh!
    Homer: Woo hoo! I'm on that too!

    Task: Make Homer Snuggle With Marge
    Time: 4h
    Location: Snuggler's Cove
    Requires: Marge

    Marge: Wow, that was intense, I don't think I could manage that again.
    Homer: Yeah, those bacon-wrapped, donut cheeseburgers are pretty intense!

    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
    Post edited by LPNintendoITA on
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