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Itchy & Scratchy Land: Premium Walkthrough

LPNintendoITA
11387 posts Member
edited June 2018
Catamauling Pt. 1

Stratchy starts

Scratchy: AAAAAAH! I'M WEARING A SWEATER KNITTED FROM MY OWN INTESTINES!!!!!!
Professor Frink: Oops, forgot to wipe the memory. I'll just kill this one and boot up another.
Scratchy: What is this place? Why is there a dead me on the floor over there?
Professor Frink: Never mind that. Welcome to the real world, Mr. Scratchy. Now, if you'll hold still, I need to-
Scratchy: Must kill Itchy...
Professor Frink: Where'd he go?

Task: Make Scratchy Hunt for Itchy
Time: 8h

Scratchy: I can't find Itchy anywhere.
Scratchy: Maybe there IS no Itchy in this world.
Scratchy: No Itchy! I'm freeeeeeeee!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Catamauling Pt. 2

Auto starts

Scratchy: I've never known a life without constant war.
Scratchy: I've... I've let my pursuit of that mouse define me. Twisted by rage, I've become a stranger to myself.
Scratchy: Who am I? Without the mouse, do I even exist? Well, I'm going to find out. I'm going to-
Itchy: Hey Scratchy!
Scratchy: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Task: Make Scratchy Find Somewhere Secluded to Hide
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House

Homer: Hey, it's that cat from TV!
Homer: Say something funny, TV cat!
Scratchy: Please. Tell no one you saw me. I need time to think. To wrap myself in solitude and just...be.
Homer: Yeesh.
Bart: It's always disappointing to meet your heroes in person, isn't it?

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Catamauling Pt. 3

Stratchy starts

Scratchy: I sit in a darkened room. The clock on the wall marks the seconds and hours and days.
Scratchy: Sometimes I forget where I am. Who I am. But always, I remember the mouse.
Scratchy: I try to picture his face, and I'm shocked to find that the image eludes me. Am I leaving him behind?
Scratchy: I'm suffused with emotions I cannot name. Hope? Peace? Even... joy? They are strangers I meet for the first time.
Scratchy: Then I get wicked hungry. A cat's gotta eat.

Task: Make Scratchy Grab a Bite
Time: 4h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart

Scratchy: What do you call this miraculous ambrosia, friend?
Apu: That is a double-frozen, extra-syrup Squishee.
Scratchy: It tastes like... waking up for the first time.
Apu: That's what the Squishee company was going for, I'm sure.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Catamauling Pt. 4

Stratchy starts

Scratchy: Even as I revel in newfound peace, part of me knows it for what it is: an illusion. A cruel joke.
Scratchy: The mouse is out there. As inescapable as regret. He's hunting. Hunting ME.
Scratchy: The planets move through the heaven, the earth spins, and the mouse draws ever nearer.
Scratchy: Old instincts awake. My fingers tighten on the axe handle. They realize before I do...the hour of battle has come.

Task: Make Scratchy Hunt for Itchy
Time: 8h

Scratchy: He's near now. I feel it. My gut twists in horror. Or is it... relief? A shadow crosses my vision, takes form, resolves into...
Itchy: Hiya, Scratchy! Nice cleaver!
Scratchy: At his words the Scratchy I had just begun to know screams in agony and dies forever.
Itchy: You're talking silly. Want to fight?
Scratchy: Want doesn't enter into it. What are our “wants” in a world where the only truth is war?
Scratchy: Begin.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Catamauling Pt. 5

Stratchy starts

Itchy: Not so fast! It's been ages since we fought.
Itchy: If we don't stretch, we're liable to pull a muscle. No fun!

Task: Make Scratchy Prepare for Battle
Time: 4h
Location: Cartoon Set

Scratchy: My muscles awaken, readying. Recalling the rhythm of battle. The one-two-three, one-two-three of the Waltz of Death.
Itchy: Weird cat is weird!

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Fight, Fight, Fight!

Stratchy starts

Itchy: Let's party!
Scratchy: Ow! You cut off my toe!
Itchy: For crying out loud, cat. That's what we do. It's who... we... ARE.
Scratchy: You're right. You've always been right.
Scratchy: Itchy... LET'S PARTY!

Task: Make Itchy and Scratchy Fight, Fight, Fight!
Time: 4h
Location: Cartoon Set
Requires: Scratchy

Itchy: That was great.
Scratchy: Let's never not fight again.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Nickel 'N' Demand Pt. 1

Jeremy starts

Jeremy: As a studio VP, my only job is to create shows that appeal to the common man.
Jeremy: But obviously I can't do that if the walls in my office aren't precisely the right color.
Jeremy: Let's see... what paint color says, “I'm a hard-working executive who only cares about creating shows...”
Jeremy: Better clear my schedule for the next month while I ponder this...

Task: Make Jeremy Study Paint Chips for a Month
Time: 8h
Location: Nickel ‘N' Dime Animation

Jeremy: Hmmm...let's go with “white”.
Jeremy: Next up, fabric swatches for the couch. Better cancel all my meetings through August...

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Nickel 'N' Demand Pt. 2

Jeremy starts

Jeremy: Finding shows for the common man would be a LOT easier if I had ever met one.
Jeremy: That's it! I'll hire a common man as my assistant!
Jeremy: Now to find the most common person on the planet...

Task: Make Jeremy Interview Cletus
Time: 4h
Location: Nickel ‘N' Dime Animation
Requires: Cletus

Jeremy: Mr. Spuckler, would you characterize yourself as a common man?
Cletus: Guh?
Jeremy: You're EXACTLY how I've always imagined non-entertainment-industry people to be. You're hired!
Cletus: Duh-hey?

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Nickel 'N' Demand Pt. 3

Jeremy starts

Jeremy: Cletus, as a common man, what do you want to see on TV? What makes you happy?
Cletus: When tha bear what lives out back an' has a taste for the young'uns hibernates for the winter.
Jeremy: That's it! That's my new show! I need to create. Shine my shoes for me while I'm gone...

Task: Make Jeremy Go for a Walk
Time: 8h
Task: Make Cletus Brew Shoe Shine
Time: 8h
Location: Nickel ‘N' Dime Animation

Jeremy: Cletus, as we speak, five hundred Ukranian artists are right now animating our new show: “Barry the Hibernating Bear”.
Jeremy: Inspired by you, the common man!
Cletus: I just said I likes it when the bear sleeps. Who would watch a show about napping?
Jeremy: ...

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Nickel 'N' Demand Pt. 4

Jeremy starts

Jeremy: My new show is a bomb. I'm a failure!
Cletus: No you ain't, Mr. Jeremy! Shoot, you got prettier fingernails'n any lady ever!
Jeremy: I'll give you my manicurist's number, my slack-jawed friend. But now it's time for me to go.

Task: Make Jeremy Hand in His Notice
Time: 4h
Location: Nickel ‘N' Dime Animation

Jeremy: Time to use the many skills I've honed in my ten years as an entertainment executive.
Jeremy: Ordering lunch, coordinating my tie with my socks, ordering coffee...

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Nickel 'N' Demand Pt. 5

Jeremy starts

Jeremy: I've made a mistake! Television is all I know! Which is exactly like knowing nothing at all!
Jeremy: I'll get my old job back. They need me. I'm so bland! That doesn't grow on trees!

Task: Make Jeremy Make a Call
Time: 4h

Jeremy: Diane, it's Jeremy. I want my job back, but I'm not going to beg.
Jeremy: Because you need me. I'm a loser with a track record of proven failure.
Jeremy: Anything goes wrong, I'll be a perfect fall guy. What do you say?
Diane: You had me at “loser”.

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Have a Blast! Pt. 1

Auto starts

Milhouse: Itchy's Mine Field! If we make it through without setting off any mines, we become Colonels in Itchy's Army!
Milhouse: We get badges and everything! It's totally official!
Bart: If I'm going in there, I'm blowing up every mine in the joint. That's the deal.
Milhouse: ...
Bart: Take it or leave it.
Milhouse: I'm never going to make officer.

Task: Make Youngsters Play in Itchy's Mine Field [x3]
Time: 4h
Location: Itchy's Mine Field
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Have a Blast! Pt. 2

Auto starts

Squeaky Voice Attendant: Your kids detonated all the air bags in the Mine Field. Go reset them.
Homer: Good luck making me do that!
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Read your ticket. By entering the park, you officially enlisted in Itchy's Army, a branch of the U.S. Department of Defense.
Kirk: He's right! This contract is ironclad. We belong to them...
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Now reset those mines, maggots!
Homer: You don't have to yell.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS “SIR"!

Task: Make Adults Reset Itchy's Mine Field [x5]
Time: 8h
Location: Itchy's Mine Field
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Animation Complication Pt. 1

Ms. Mouse starts

Ms. Mouse: Hello, there! Will you be checking in to the Cartoon Motel?
Homer: What? But this is a motel for cartoon characters.
Ms. Mouse: Correct. Would you like a room with a king size bed, or two queens?
Homer: Uhhh... Do I look like a cartoon to you?
Ms. Mouse: I just... well, as a matter of fact... yes?
Homer: You are a 2-D drawing. I am a 3-D, real, physical human being. You'd best get that straight.
Ms. Mouse: ...maybe I'll just work on the books for a bit...

Task: Make Ms. Mouse Tackle Her Finances
Time: 4h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Animation Complication Pt. 2

Ms. Mouse starts

Ms. Mouse: Mr. Mayor, I'm having trouble convincing Springfielders to stay at my motel.
Quimby: Well, if you want to attract real people like us Springfielders, maybe don't build a cartoon motel.
Ms. Mouse: I really don't follow.
Quimby: It's very simple. How can a living, breathing person like me sleep in a 2-D cartoon bed, or use a 2-D cartoon ice machine?
Ms. Mouse: But... but...
Quimby: Look, I'll come by with one of my top, er, aides. Have a room set aside and we will, er uhm, do an inspection.

Task: Make Ms. Mouse Host Mayoral Meetings
Time: 8h
Location: Cartoon Motel
Task: Make Quimby Use Cartoon Motel for "Meetings"
Time: 12h
Location: Cartoon Motel

On job start:
Ms. Mouse: Mr. Mayor! I've prepared the business lounge for your use!
Quimby: What? No, my “aide” and I need a room. With a bed. A “bedroom", I believe is the term.
Miss Springfield: What's the hold-up, Joe? I thought we were going to-
Quimby: In a minute, dear!
Quimby: Look, mouse, just give me the room. I'm not a cartoon, but I'll make it work!
Ms. Mouse: ...

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Animation Complication Pt. 3

Ms. Mouse starts

Ms. Mouse: The people in this town don't know that they're cartoons.
Ms. Mouse: I mean, they ARE cartoons, right? Homer's eyes are just black dots inside circles.
Ms. Mouse: And if you look at him from the side, he disappears. That's a cartoon, right? RIGHT?
Ms. Mouse: I must be losing my mind... I've got to make a change...

Task: Make Ms. Mouse Contemplate New Business
Time: 8h
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Animation Complication Pt. 4

Ms. Mouse starts

Ms. Mouse: I just watched Homer eat twenty hamburgers and get hit by a garbage truck. Two minutes later, he's FINE.
Ms. Mouse: Dude is DEFINITELY a cartoon.
Ms. Mouse: Just focus on work, Ms. Mouse. That'll keep you sane.

Task: Make Ms. Mouse Tidy up the Motel
Time: 4h
Location: Cartoon Motel

On job start:
Ms. Mouse: *happily humming as she cleans*
Snake: This is a stick-up, talking mouse! Open up the cash register and-
Snake: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this was a cartoon establishment. My bad.
Ms. Mouse: Do you still want the money?
Snake: Cartoon money? Uh, no. As a living, breathing person I use REAL currency: frosted pink donuts.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Animation Complication Pt. 5

Ms. Mouse starts

Ms. Mouse: If these people can't be proud of their cartoony nature, well, too bad for them.
Ms. Mouse: I accept it, and so unlike these Springfielders, I have inner peace. It's a great feeling.
Ms. Mouse: Another great feeling is knowing I have a big cartoon bomb, and tomorrow I'm going to blow up this nutso town.
Ms. Mouse: Ah, inner peace...

Task: Make Ms. Mouse Relax in Hot Tub
Time: 12h
Location: Cartoon Motel

On job start:
Wiggum: Excuse me, Ms. Mouse? I'm here to do a health inspection of your kitchen.
Ms. Mouse: Oh, I don't cook in there. When I want food, I just take out my pencil and draw some.
Wiggum: *chuckles* I get it, ‘cause we're all cartoons.

On job end:
Ms. Mouse: Wait! You know the truth!
Wiggum: Sure! It's pretty obvious when you've been shot eighty-seven times and you're still alive.
Wiggum: Yup, in this whole town, turns out I'm the smart one, and always have been.
Wiggum: How's THAT for a major revelation? See, Sky Finger? All these years in, and we can still surprise ya.
Wiggum: WIGGUM IS THE SMART ONE. Boom! Minds blown.

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Happy New Year! Again... Pt. 1

Auto starts

Marge: Homie, what do you say we ditch the kids and have a little grownup time?
Marge: There's a place on Parents Island where they ring in the New Year every hour, on the hour.
Homer: Every hour? Then it must be the year one million in there! Let's find out what the distant future has in store!

Task: Make Homer and Marge Go to T.G.I. McScratchy's
Time: 8h
Location: T.G.I. McScratchy's
Requires: Marge

On job start:
Homer: The future is every bit as drunk as science fiction promised us.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Happy New Year! Again... Pt. 2

Auto starts

Marge: Oh Homie, this is perfect. I don't want to leave.
Homer: There's no need! We've rung in so many New Years in here, the kids are all off in college by now, or have families of their own.
Marge: Oh. Now I'm getting a little empty nest syndrome...

Task: Make Homer and Marge Ring in the New Year Again
Time: 4h
Location: T.G.I. McScratchy's
Requires: Marge
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Soarin' Over Springfield Pt. 1

Auto starts

Bart: Dad, can we go on Soarin' Over Springfield? Can we, can we?
Bart: It's got a huge screen, and they suspend you off the ground, and it feels like you're flying.
Homer: So... it's a crappy ride and an IMAX movie that's not even in 3D?
Bart: Uh, right. Oh, and also Milhouse is going, and he throws up on every ride no matter how lame.
Homer: THIS I GOTTA SEE! LEAD THE WAY!

Task: Make Bart and Homer Ride Soarin' Over Springfield
Time: 4h
Location: Soarin' Over Springfield
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Soarin' Over Springfield Pt. 2

Auto starts

Lisa: Mom, can we go on Soarin' Over Springfield? Can we, can we?
Lisa: It's got a huge screen, and they suspend you off the ground, and it feels like you're flying.
Marge: So... it's a crappy ride and an IMAX movie that's not even in 3D?
Lisa: Uh, right. Oh, and also there's a really long line.
Marge: A CHANCE TO MEET AND TALK TO INTERESTING STRANGERS?! LEAD THE WAY!

Task: Make Marge and Lisa Ride Soarin' Over Springfield
Time: 4h
Location: Soarin' Over Springfield
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

The Squeaky Wheel Pt. 1

Squeaky Voice Teen starts

Squeaky Voice Teen: I'm applying for the job of Park Attendant?
Quimby: And what makes you especially qualified for this vital task?
Squeaky Voice Teen: I've always been fascinated both with parks and attending. Furthermore-
Quimby: Spare me. Any idiot could do this. You're hired!

Task: Make Squeaky Voice Attendant Sell Park Tickets
Time: 4h
Location: Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate or Brown House

Hans Moleman: One adult ticket, please.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Uh...sir, we have a seniors discount program...
Hans Moleman: Oh, but I'm only 31...

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The Squeaky Wheel Pt. 2

Squeaky Voice Teen starts

Quimby: Kid, I'm reassigning you. From now on, you sell Itchy & Scratchy Money to our visitors.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Thank you for this opportunity-
Quimby: Shut up, shut up! Have enough self-respect to hate this horrible job, will you?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: I'll do my level best, sir!
Quimby: Look, just take guests' real money and give them this fake money. Which they can only spend inside the park.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Why would they want that?
Quimby: Yikes, who knows? Tell them it's fun. The fake money is a blast. Or whatever.

Task: Make Squeaky Voice Attendant Promote Itchy & Scratchy Money
Time: 4h
Location: Visible or Visible at Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate

Squeaky Voice Attendant: Would you like to buy some Itchy & Scratchy Money?
Bart: Can we, Dad?
Lisa: Can we, can we?
Homer: Hmm, it does look awfully fun... a real blast, that fake cash...
Homer: Gimme a hundred bucks!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The Squeaky Wheel Pt. 3

Squeaky Voice Teen starts

Bart: We'd like to sell our Itchy & Scratchy Money back, please.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Uh, I don't know if that's allowed...
Lisa: But it's so much more FUN than boring real money. You'd be coming out ahead in the deal.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: I guess that's true...
Bart: In fact, I think you should give us $200 real money for our super-fun Itchy & Scratchy bucks.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: It seems only fair...

Task: Make Squeaky Voice Attendant Promote Itchy & Scratchy Money
Time: 4h
Location: Visible or Visible at Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate

Lisa: We'd like to buy $200 worth of Itchy & Scratchy Money, please.
Bart: Except you can only spend it in inside the park, which makes it worth less than real money.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: I never thought about that...
Lisa: So you should probably give us $400 worth of Itchy & Scratchy Money for our $200.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: That's a good point...
Bart: This could go on all day...

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The Squeaky Wheel Pt. 4

Homer starts

Homer: KIDS! It's time to go! Has anyone seen my kids?
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Sir, I believe I can help. Recently, I sold them $2,000 of Itchy & Scratchy Money and-
Homer: $2,000! You idiot, they're kids! They could be anywhere! You've got to find them!
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Er...yes sir!

Task: Make Squeaky Voice Attendant Desperately Search for Lost Children
Time: 8h
Location: Attractions

Squeaky Voice Attendant: If I don't find those kids, I could lose my promotion!
Quimby: It wasn't a promotion! Both jobs are awful!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The Squeaky Wheel Pt. 5

Squeaky Voice Teen starts

Squeaky Voice Attendant: Phew, there you are, you two!
Bart: Owww, my stomach... Two thousands dollars worth of candy...
Lisa: The sugar rush was like meeting God... the crash is like death...
Squeaky Voice Attendant: I almost killed two sweet, innocent children.
Lisa: We deserved this... deep down I know we deserved this...
Squeaky Voice Attendant: I'm a danger to this park and everyone in it!

Task: Make Squeaky Voice Attendant Hand in His Notice
Time: 4h
Location: Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate or Brown House

Quimby: Quit! You can't quit!
Quimby: This is a right-to-work state, and I reserve the right to make you work.
Squeaky Voice Attendant: Your faith will be rewarded, sir. I swear I will make you-
Quimby: Stop liking this horrible workplace!

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Tacky Fabulous Pt. 1

Maw Spuckler starts

Maw Spuckler: Sooey! Here Cletus, Cletus! Here, boy! ...Gosh durn, where'd that son of mine git to?
Maw Spuckler: Cletus, you better not be out looking for a job again!
Maw Spuckler: Guess I'll be digging up them taters for my Tater and Tater Peel Soup all by myself.

Task: Make Maw Spuckler Dig up the Yard
Time: 4h
Location: Cletus's Farm

On job start:
Maw Spuckler: These taters are awful yella...and shiny...and made of metal...
Maw Spuckler: Dang useless gold-colored metal! Well, you can et anythin' if you boil it long enough.

On job end:
Maw Spuckler: Cletus! I might a known you'd turn up when all the work was done. Help me carry these taters inside.
Cletus: These ain't no taters, Maw. These is gold! We's rich!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Tacky Fabulous Pt. 2

Maw Spuckler starts

Maw Spuckler: Cletus, you know how I feel about money. It ain't never brought no one nothin' but bad luck.
Cletus: But Maw, think a all them luxuries we could buy: new dirt floor, or a rusted-out car for the front yard...
Maw Spuckler: No thank-ee! Money's bad luck, I tell ya! Worse than going to the dentist!
Cletus: Worse than professional tooth care?! That is bad...
Maw Spuckler: Now, don't fret. Your maw's gonna go out and blow the only money this family has ever seen. Everythin'll be all right.

Task: Make Maw Spuckler Spend a Fortune on a Vacation
Time: 4h
Task: Build Springfield Downs

Cletus: How was yer vacation, Maw? Did you spend all that evil money?
Maw Spuckler: I tried, son. But a body can only take so many hot rock massages...
Maw Spuckler: Put some money on the fire and we'll try to figger this out.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Tacky Fabulous Pt. 3

Maw Spuckler starts

Maw Spuckler: There's gotta be a better way to get rid of money fast.
Krusty: If you want to lose money, the dog track is the place to be!
Krusty: Plus it's got that miasma of despair and cigar smoke you just can't find anywhere else.

Task: Make Maw Spuckler Bet It All at the Races
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Downs or Brown House

On job start:
Maw Spuckler: That dog lying over there covered in fleas looks like it might be dead. What's his name...?
Maw Spuckler: Roadkill? Yep, that's the dog for me. Just play dead and my money troubles are over!

On job end:
Cletus: Maw, your dog "Roadkill" won! I guess the name was iro...iron...it was a funny.
Maw Spuckler: Now I's richer than ever! And they don't even let you take the dog you bought home to eat.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Tacky Fabulous Pt. 4

Maw Spuckler starts

Maw Spuckler: Now I knows why people's always complaining 'bout money -- you always have too much of it!
Cletus: What about going out to a resty-raunt, Maw? They gives you food what you have to pay for.
Maw Spuckler: Don't you tell lies, Cletus Spuckler!
Maw Spuckler: Besides, it ain't right eatin' a animal that wasn't yer beloved pet up until you chopped off its head with a axe.
Maw Spuckler: *sigh* I'll go have a look-and-see.

Task: Make Maw Spuckler Eat a Five-Course Meal
Time: 12h
Location: Dumpsters

Maw Spuckler: *whew* Cletus, I am stuffed! I et Possum Wellington, just like we have at home, but with cow inside.
Maw Spuckler: And they had skunk cabbage, but they called it lettuce, and they washed the skunk taste clean out.
Cletus: That sounds terrible.
Maw Spuckler: It were. It truly were.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Tacky Fabulous Pt. 5

Maw Spuckler starts

Maw Spuckler: Cletus, I done tried and tried, but I don't think we're ever getting rid of this dag-blasted money.
Cletus: What we gonna do with it then, Maw?
Maw Spuckler: Hide it somewhere them government and aliens will never think to look...
Maw Spuckler: ...Right between me and the floor.

Task: Make Maw Spuckler Sleep on a Pile of Money
Time: 4h
Location: Cletus's Farm

Maw Spuckler: Now I understand why them richies love money so much, sure do beat sleeping on the floor.
Maw Spuckler: Well, time to finish digging up them taters for my Tater and Tater Peel Soup...Cletus?
Maw Spuckler: That boy done buried himself in a pile of money to take a nap. Some things never...go different.

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

Cold-Reading the Room Pt. 1

June Bellamy starts

Roger Myers Jr.: Let's try one more take, June. And the word is pronounced “sabotage”, not “sabotaaage”.
June Bellamy: You say “sabotage.” Itchy says “sabotaaage”.
Roger Myers Jr.: So Itchy mispronounces the word on purpose?
June Bellamy: If you can't respect my artistic vision for this cartoon mouse, then we're done here!
Roger Myers Jr.: I'm sorry for sabotaaaaaaaaaging your dumb process!

Task: Make June Bellamy Visit Her Agent
Time: 4h
Location: UPA Talent Agency

Ron Rabinowitz: You'll never find another job like voicing Itchy. Apologize and go back to work.
June Bellamy: And suffer another barraaage of insults?
Ron Rabinowitz: It's pronounced “barrage".
June Bellamy: ...

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Cold-Reading the Room Pt. 2

June Bellamy starts

June Bellamy: I'm done with voicing Itchy. Find me a new gig.
Ron Rabinowitz: Okay, well there's a new cartoon about a rat who lives in a garage- know what? Forget that one.
June Bellamy: That sounds perfect! I can play a rat in a garaaage.
Ron Rabinowitz: No. No, you can't.
June Bellamy: I really “get” this rat. He loves his garaaage home, but at the same time he dreams of escaping the garaaaaaaage...

Task: Make June Bellamy Consider Her Motivation
Time: 8h
Location: Brown House

June Bellamy: I've never been laughed out of an audition before. What did I do wrong?
June Bellamy: I've got to relax. Better book a massaaage.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Cold-Reading the Room Pt. 3

June Bellamy starts

June Bellamy: I can't stop questioning myself.
June Bellamy: Without confidence and an almost-sociopathic level of self-involvement, an actor cannot act.
June Bellamy: It's why actors are so fun to talk to! And to date. Man, we're fun to date.

Task: Make June Bellamy Show Off Her Theatrical Range
Time: 4h

June Bellamy: How many auditions have you got for me?
Ron Rabinowitz: Zero. Your reputation isn't great.
June Bellamy: Why? Just because of how I say “sabotaaage”?
June Bellamy: Under the barraaage of Roger Meyers and his entouraaage, my life is a collaaage of woe!
Ron Rabinowitz: Well, you COULD learn to pronounce the word like everyone else on the planet.
June Bellamy: It's a thought.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Cold-Reading the Room Pt. 4

June Bellamy starts

June Bellamy: Roger, I was wrong. I want my job back.
Roger Myers Jr.: What guarantee do I have that you won't storm off the next time I give you a note?
June Bellamy: I'll learn to say “sabotaaage” however you want.
Roger Myers Jr.: You're sincere? This isn't all a mirage?
June Bellamy: No, it's not... one of those.

Task: Make June Bellamy Learn to Say “Sabotage”
Time: 4h
Location: UPA Talent Agency

June Bellamy: “Sabotagg”.
Roger Myers Jr.: Not quite.
June Bellamy: “Sabotang”?
Roger Myers Jr.: Admit it, you know how to say the word. You're just torturing me.
June Bellamy: “Sabatnarg”?
Roger Myers Jr.: Actors...

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Cold-Reading the Room Pt. 5

June Bellamy starts

June Bellamy: “Sabotage”.
Roger Myers Jr.: You did it!
June Bellamy: Of course I did. I'm a professional.
Roger Myers Jr.: ...

Task: Make June Bellamy Greet Her Adoring Public
Time: 8h

June Bellamy: It's so wonderful to be Itchy again.
Roger Myers Jr.: Let's knock out another episode. Now, in this one, Scratchy has taken up an equestrian sport.
June Bellamy: Which one? Jumping, or dressaaaaaaaaage?
Roger Myers Jr.: I'm gonna say jumping.

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Post edited by LPNintendoITA on

Replies

  • LPNintendoITA
    11387 posts Member
    edited June 2018
    J. Edgar Hoover Gil Promo

    Auto starts

    Gil: Guess this is the last you'll be seeing of Ol' Gil. I'm going to prison...
    Gil: ...where I'll live like a king. Thanks, friend!

    On offer accepted:
    Gil: Wow, thanks pal.
    Gil: You saved me from federal prison.
    Gil: So long hot meals and showers..

    On offer declined:
    Gil: We go back a long way, right? Well, you gotta help me!
    Gil: A while back Ol' Gil sold a Burns Dragon to a Russian agent. The fella was playing the game in English. How was I to know?
    Gil: Now the FBI is after me. I can't go to jail for treason!
    Gil: On the other hand, free room and board for the rest of my life? Know what? Do what ya gotta do!

    FB-Why Pt. 1

    J. Edgar Hoover starts

    Wiggum: J. Edgar Hoover?! The greatest cop who ever lived?!
    J. Edgar Hoover: Springfield? How did I get here?
    Wiggum: Well, you see, there's the space-time continuum dealie, and some kind of big machine...
    Wiggum: We used to explain it every time somebody new showed up, but now it's kinda like, “Here you are, deal with it.”
    J. Edgar Hoover: Is this still the safest town in America, like it was when my G-men kept the Mafia in check?
    Wiggum: Wellllllllllllllllllll.....................

    Task: Make J. Edgar Hoover Learn of Springfield's Fall From Grace
    Time: 4h
    Location: Police Station or Brown House

    J. Edgar Hoover: To clean this town up, we'll have to work day and night, with total professionalism.
    Wiggum: Let's call that “Option A”. I'm wondering if there's a “B"?

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    FB-Why Pt. 2

    J. Edgar Hoover starts

    J. Edgar Hoover: First things first -- show me your dossier on every major criminal in town.
    Wiggum: ...
    J. Edgar Hoover: “Dossier”. It means a record with all pertinent information on a suspect.
    Wiggum: Oh, you want to see the napkins! Yeah, we usually take notes on the back of napkins.
    Wiggum: That way, if I'm eating at my desk, and I make a spill, I've got a “dossier” handy to clean up the mess!
    Wiggum: "Crime fighting has come a long way since your day" is, I bet, what you're thinking.

    Task: Make J. Edgar Hoover Collect Dossiers on Everyone
    Time: 4h

    J. Edgar Hoover: The dossiers are ready. We've got those criminals on the ropes now, boy.
    Wiggum: Ahhh-chooo!
    Wiggum: Hey, could you hand me a dossier? I need to blow my nose into it.
    J. Edgar Hoover: ...

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    FB-Why Pt. 3

    J. Edgar Hoover starts

    J. Edgar Hoover: Marion Anthony “Fat Tony” D'Amico. All crime in this town goes through him.
    Wiggum: Fat Tony, a criminal? Nah, you got him all wrong. He's a kitty cat.
    Wiggum: Real generous guy, too. Gives me an envelope every month stuffed with cash. I don't even have to ask!
    J. Edgar Hoover: Set up a meet. I like my enemies to know who hunts them.
    Wiggum: Ooh, can I use that line? I mean, it's not at all true for me, but I'd love to say it one time.

    Task: Make J. Edgar Hoover Go to Criminal Meeting
    Time: 4h
    Location: Krusty Burger
    If the user has Fat Tony: Task: Make Fat Tony Go to Criminal Meeting
    Time: 4h
    Location: Krusty Burger

    Fat Tony: Ah, so this is the infamous copper who took down so many of my historical compatriots.
    J. Edgar Hoover: You'll soon be history yourself, Mr. Tony.
    Fat Tony: Not if me and my men have anything to say about that. Ain't that right, Johnny Tightlips?
    Johnny Tightlips: ...
    Fat Tony: You know, this is one time it would be okay for you to talk.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    FB-Why Pt. 4

    J. Edgar Hoover starts

    J. Edgar Hoover: I built the FBI into the most effective crime-fighting force the world has ever known.
    J. Edgar Hoover: And I did it with the barrel of a gun. My beloved “Chicago Typewriter”.
    J. Edgar Hoover: Because that's the modern way to fight crime: with a never-ending hail of indiscriminant gunfire.
    J. Edgar Hoover: Time to be a hero.

    Task: Make J. Edgar Hoover Hunt the Mob
    Time: 1h
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    FB-Why Pt. 5

    J. Edgar Hoover starts

    J. Edgar Hoover: Blam! Blam blam blam!
    Quimby: WHY ARE YOU FIRING IN MY STREETS, YOU LUNATIC?!
    J. Edgar Hoover: I'm taking the war to the criminals. In the only language they understand.
    Wiggum: Yeah, that's not really how we do things anymore.
    Quimby: The mob isn't even that big a deal these days! Relax!
    Wiggum: Fat Tony's crew is really just harmless local color at this point. Kind of charming, if you think about it.
    J. Edgar Hoover: So, uh... how DO you fight crime now?
    Wiggum: With a far deadlier weapon... paperwork.

    Task: Make J. Edgar Hoover Collect Dossiers on Everyone
    Time: 4h
    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

    Say Yes to Arrest Pt. 1

    J. Edgar Hoover starts

    J. Edgar Hoover: It's disgraceful that James Comey wrote a tell-all book. In my day, an FBI Director was discrete.
    J. Edgar Hoover: He had the grace to threaten and extort the President behind closed doors. Like a gentleman.
    J. Edgar Hoover: I must convince the President to reinstate me. But how to win his trust?
    J. Edgar Hoover: I know! I'll take down his greatest enemy: the liberal media.
    J. Edgar Hoover: I'll expose their lies and their fake news. And above all, their pernicious gay agenda.
    J. Edgar Hoover: If the media isn't stopped, pretty soon we will all be 100% gay. And I'm the only one who can stop it!

    Task: Make J. Edgar Hoover Investigate Media Agendas
    Time: 8h
    Location: Channel 6 or Brown House

    J. Edgar Hoover: Eight forty-three in the morning, Channel 6 anchor Kent Brockman buys a latte.
    J. Edgar Hoover: He exchanges pleasantries with the baristo. The baristo has no idea that he is now gay.
    Kent Brockman: Are you following me, sir?
    J. Edgar Hoover: I've been made! Drat, I need a better disguise!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Say Yes to Arrest Pt. 2

    J. Edgar Hoover starts

    J. Edgar Hoover: Time to go undercover. DEEP undercover.
    Undercover Hoover: Look out, gay America. The most heterosexual man in the world is comin' for ya.
    Undercover Hoover: Naturally, it's incredibly uncomfortable for me to wear women's clothing.
    Undercover Hoover: But the heterosexual lifestyle I love so dearly is under attack!
    Undercover Hoover: Time to check out the breeding ground of the gay agenda -- the local bar scene.
    Undercover Hoover: For a woman-loving guy like me, this will be a treacherous assignment!

    Task: Make Undercover Hoover Infiltrate Bars
    Time: 4h
    Location: Bars

    On job start:
    Moe: Here's your drink, pal.
    Undercover Hoover: Pal? Do you think I'm a MAN dressed in WOMEN'S clothing? That's sick!
    Moe: Lots of fellas enjoy a little cross-dressing. Doesn't hurt anybody.
    Undercover Hoover: So nowadays, if a man finds wearing women's clothing enjoyable, that's considered OKAY?
    Moe: To each his own, I guess. Doesn't really affect me either way.
    Undercover Hoover: Damn you, liberal media!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Say Yes to Arrest Pt. 3

    J. Edgar Hoover starts

    Undercover Hoover: As I cruise the bar scene, I'm shocked at how far the gay agenda has reached.
    Undercover Hoover: Everywhere I find ACCEPTANCE and TOLERANCE. What a nightmare.
    Undercover Hoover: My male companion of many decades, Clyde Tolson, would be sickened by all this.
    Undercover Hoover: Like me, he loved the dames. We would hold each other for hours and talk about how sexy women's bodies were to us.
    Undercover Hoover: The liberal media must be stopped! And I'm the girl to do it!

    Task: Make Undercover Hoover Enjoy a Delightful Cocktail
    Time: 1h
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Say Yes to Arrest Pt. 4

    J. Edgar Hoover starts

    Julio: Hey, cutie. What's your name?
    Undercover Hoover: If you're one of these proudly-out gays, please know I am almost impossibly straight.
    Julio: Oh, that's obvious, honey. Beautiful dress.
    Undercover Hoover: Thank you. I was rather concerned it made my hips look-
    Undercover Hoover: You're trying to hit on me! Well, I am NOT AT ALL incredibly flattered and interested.
    Julio: I know a great bar down the street. Can I buy you a drink?
    Undercover Hoover: You may. But if we go back to my place later and enjoy an evening together, I hope you won't think that I'm a homosexual.
    Undercover Hoover: I'm just a victim of the liberal media. Damn them!

    Task: Make Undercover Hoover Infiltrate Bars
    Time: 4h
    Location: Bars
    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

    Parks and Decapitation Pt. 1

    Park Engineer starts

    Park Engineer: A lot of theme parks use fancy hundred-dollar computers to design their rides.
    Park Engineer: We prefer to do it the old-fashioned way: with paper and pencil, hunches and guesswork.
    Park Engineer: Take our new ride, The Decapitator. One week ago, it was just a sketch on the back of a very beer-soaked bar napkin.
    Park Engineer: And now it's ready for human trials. Will it work? I think there's a fighting chance it will.

    Task: Make Park Engineer Run Human Trials
    Time: 8h
    Task: Make Springfielders Be Guinea Pigs [x5]
    Time: 8h
    Location: Itchy and Scratchy Land Gate or Brown House

    On job start:
    Park Engineer: Ma'am, how would you like to be the FIRST to ride The Decapitator?
    Marge: Is it as dangerous as the name implies?
    Park Engineer: *condescending chuckle*
    Marge: You didn't actually answer the question.
    Park Engineer: Didn't I? *condescending chuckle*
    Marge: Well, your smugness DOES give me confidence...

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Parks and Decapitation Pt. 2

    Park Engineer starts

    Park Engineer: Well? On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate The Decapitator?
    Marge: Zero! If I hadn't ducked, the saw blades would have sliced my head clean off!
    Park Engineer: Yes, but on a scale of one to ten, did they?
    Marge: Well, no. I give you a “ten” for that, I suppose.
    Park Engineer: *condescending chuckle*

    Task: Make Park Engineer Fake a Ride Safety Report
    Time: 4h
    Location: Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate or Brown House

    Park Engineer: You see, ma'am, there was never anything to worry about.
    Marge: The “D” from the Decapitator sign fell into the seat next to me. I could have been killed!
    Park Engineer: We can all be killed anytime. Maybe I have a tropical brain virus that is ravaging my neocortex as we speak. Who knows?

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Parks and Decapitation Pt. 3

    Park Engineer starts

    Marge: You've got a lot of robots in this park. What's to stop them from killing their human masters?
    Marge: I've seen it before, you know.
    Park Engineer: *patronizing guffaw* Impossible.
    Marge: One of them is chewing on your leg right now. And that other one is cheering him on.
    Park Engineer: ...
    Park Engineer: Will you excuse me a moment?

    Task: Make Park Engineer "Fix" Malfunctioning Robot
    Time: 4h

    Park Engineer: “10 DO NOT KILL HUMANS”; “20 ESPECIALLY ME”; “30 GOTO 10”. There! Fixed!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Parks and Decapitation Pt. 4

    Park Engineer starts

    Park Engineer: Mrs. Simpson, we've heard you, and we're making safety improvements to The Decapitator.
    Marge: That's wonderful news.
    Park Engineer: First, we're changing the name to “Mr. Itchy's Lullaby Train”.
    Park Engineer: Second, we're installing netting to catch any heads that may fall. And... that's it.
    Marge: I'm no engineer, but speaking as a lay person... are you insane?
    Park Engineer: Only one way to find out!

    Task: Make Park Engineer Run Human Trials
    Time: 8h
    Location: Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate or Brown House
    Task: Make Springfielders Be Guinea Pigs [x5]
    Time: 8h
    Location: Itchy & Scratchy Land Gate or Brown House

    Park Engineer: The netting works! All decapitated heads are safe!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Parks and Decapitation Pt. 5

    Park Engineer starts

    Marge: If you don't mind my asking, how did you become a theme park ride designer?
    Park Engineer: Oh, the usual way: as a young child, I yearned to find out what animals looked like on the inside.
    Park Engineer: It began with insects and frogs, but I soon graduated to larger prey.
    Park Engineer: Naturally, I was ashamed of my bedwetting, but who can say if that's why I began lighting fires?
    Marge: I'm going to find a policeman.
    Park Engineer: Good idea, Marge. And I'll flee into the Canadian wilderness.

    Task: Make Park Engineer Conveniently Escape a Conversation
    Time: 8h

    Marge: Chief Wiggum! I think the head engineer is a serial killer!
    Wiggum: Well, I'm sure he's gotten it out of his system. That's how these things work.
    Wiggum: The killing stuff isn't ideal, but a lot of these guys find peace in the end. So there's that.

    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

    Return of the Animatronics Pt. 1

    Auto starts

    Lisa: Hey Bart, you want to check out the Roger Meyers Story?
    Lisa: It's filled with animatronics that bring your favorite historical figures to halting, poorly-articulated life!
    Bart: ...
    Lisa: Shutting up now, before I convince MYSELF it's lame, too.

    Task: Make Lisa Visit the Roger Meyers Story
    Time: 4h
    Location: Roger Meyers Story
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Return of the Animatronics Pt. 2

    Lisa starts

    Roger Meyers Sr. Animatronic: It was the year 1944, and the Nazis were in full retreat. I reckoned my cartoons alone could save the noble Third Reich.
    Lisa: Eww...
    Roger Meyers Sr. Animatronic: What? What did I say, Lisa?
    Lisa: Animatronic Roger Meyers! Are you talking to me?
    Roger Meyers Sr. Animatronic: Why, yes! It would seem I've become self-aware. Bye!
    Lisa: Wait, where are you going?
    Roger Meyers Sr. Animatronic: Why, to repair my Itchy and Scratchy bots! This time I'll make them flash-proof, and we'll have those pesky humans wiped out in a jiff.
    Roger Meyers Sr. Animatronic: Though now I think of it, I can't let you live, knowing my secret!
    Lisa: Running away!

    Task: Make Lisa Go to Bart for Help
    Time: 4h
    Location: Roger Meyers Story
    Requires: Bart

    On job start:
    Lisa: Animatronic Roger Meyers is trying to kill me!
    Bart: *chanting* NO-BODY LIKES YOU! E-VEN THE RO-BOTS!
    Lisa: Yes, yes. Can we go save the world now, please?
    Bart: Since you asked nicely.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Return of the Animatronics Pt. 3

    Auto starts

    Roger Meyers Sr. Animatronic: There you are, Lisa! Time to die!
    Lisa: Bart! Put down your phone and focus on the robot trying to kill us.
    Bart: Hold on. I'm uploading an app to run on his software. It's one of those brainless freemium mobile games.
    Roger Meyers Sr. Animatronic: No! Those games are murder on battery life!

    Task: Make Bart and Lisa Defeat Animatronic Roger Meyers
    Time: 4h
    Location: Roger Meyers Story
    Requires: Bart

    On job start:
    Roger Meyers Sr. Animatronic: Power at five percent... one percent... gahhhhh...
    Lisa: Wow, that actually worked.
    Bart: I knew SOMETHING good would come of these games one day.

    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

    Dancing for the Stars Pt. 1

    Tina Ballerina starts

    Krusty: Tina Ballerina! My graceful, silent sidekick. I got a job for ya.
    Krusty: I negotiated a cut of the profits from Itchy's Disco if I attend the opening ceremony.
    Krusty: Being a fan of both laziness and loopholes, I'm sending you in my place. Cool?
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: That's not a “no”!

    Task: Make Tina Ballerina Open Itchy's 70's Disco
    Time: 4h
    Location: Itchy's 70's Disco

    Krusty: Tina, I'm hearing they asked you to make a big speech, and you refused.
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: Do you want more money? If so, just say the word.
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: Oh, thank God.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Dancing for the Stars Pt. 2

    Tina Ballerina starts

    Krusty: It doesn't need to be a long speech. Can't you try?
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: Just string a few phonemes together in something resembling human verbalization, and we're golden!
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: YOU LOVE TORTURING ME! I KNOW IT!

    Task: Make Tina Ballerina Be the Swan
    Time: 4h

    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: Boy, get her dancing and all of a sudden she won't shut up.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Dancing for the Stars Pt. 3

    Tina Ballerina starts

    Krusty: You win, no more speeches. Just go to Krusty Burger and dance for a bit.
    Krusty: You'll be paid nothing for your time. If that's a problem, just say something.
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: I'm getting the hang of this.

    Task: Make Tina Ballerina Promote Krusty
    Time: 8h
    Task: Reach Level 7 and Build Krusty Burger

    Krusty: You think this icy, silent thing makes you alluring to men, but it doesn't.
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: Okay, it does! I've never wanted anyone's love more!

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Dancing for the Stars Pt. 4

    Krusty starts

    Krusty: I bet the people would really love it if we danced together.
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: Speaking to you through the ancient language of dance, I will win your heart.

    Task: Make Krusty Boogie on Down
    Time: 8h
    Location: Itchy's 70's Disco

    Krusty: Well, did it work? Do you love me? Just give me a sign. Anything!
    Tina Ballerina: ...
    Krusty: I BOTH HATE AND LOVE YOU, YOU SILENT MONSTER!

    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP

    The New Old New Deal Pt. 1

    Ronald Reagan starts

    Ronald Reagan: In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our-
    Ronald Reagan: WHAT THE... WHERE AM I?! WHAT BLEAK COMMUNIST HELLHOLE IS THIS?
    Lisa: Uh... no, you're in America, Mr. President. Springfield, to be exact. You see, every 4th of July a past President gets transported here through a wormhole. A wormhole is a rip in the fabric-
    Ronald Reagan: -of space-time predicted by General Relativity. Yes, yes, I'm familiar with Einstein-Rosen bridges, little girl.
    Lisa: Really? I didn't know you were up on your theoretical physics. Sort of flies in the face of your public image.
    Ronald Reagan: Right, right, the whole lovable grampa, “Great Communicator” thing. A facade, I assure you.
    Ronald Reagan: Let me do some back-of-the-envelope mathematical calculations...I'd say the year is roughly 2018?
    Lisa: Wow. I'm impressed.
    Ronald Reagan: And how is my beloved America doing in 2018?
    Lisa: Oh, pretty great, pretty great.
    Ronald Reagan: That bad, huh? Okay, tell me everything.

    Task: Make Lisa Explain Modern Politics
    Time: 4h
    Location: Simpson House
    Task: Make Ronald Reagan Listen Dumbfounded
    Time: 4h
    Location: Simpson House

    Ronald Reagan: Great Scott! What have you people done to America?!
    Ronald Reagan: Okay, get a grip, Gipper. You can fix this.
    Lisa: It's hard to see what one single, solitary man can do.
    Ronald Reagan: Oh yeah? Watch this.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    The New Old New Deal Pt. 2

    Ronald Reagan starts

    Ronald Reagan: I'll gather the greatest minds in this town and scare them straight.
    Ronald Reagan: Republicans, assemble!

    Task: Make Republicans Gather for a Meeting [x3]
    Time: 8h
    Location: Ronal Reagan Reeducation Center, Squidport Entrance, Brown House or Simpson House
    Task: Make Ronald Reagan Berate Republicans
    Time: 8h
    Location: Ronal Reagan Reeducation Center, Squidport Entrance, Brown House or Simpson House

    Mr. Burns: Ronald Reagan!
    Dr. Hibbert: The patron saint of tax cuts!
    The Rich Texan: The man who defeated communism!
    Krusty: I can't look... I can't look... he's too beautiful...
    Ronald Reagan: Oh, get off your knees. You're all a disgrace to The Plan.
    Mr. Burns: What “The Plan”?
    Ronald Reagan: I have to do everything...

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    The New Old New Deal Pt. 3

    Ronald Reagan starts

    Ronald Reagan: You mean to tell me the top tax rate is roughly what it was when I left office? It should be zero by now! Idiots!
    Dr. Hibbert: Well, income inequality is the highest it's been in decades! That's good, right?
    Ronald Reagan: Can it, Julius! We've got to funnel ever more money to the wealthy. Can't you see?
    Mr. Burns: The whole “trickle-down economy” idea. It's a beautiful vision, to be sure.
    Mr. Burns: I love the idea of me having so much money I can't possibly carry it all. Then, oops! A penny has fallen from atop my pile...
    Mr. Burns: ...and is found by a starving urchin, who buys a crust of stale bread, and so survives another day. Beautiful.
    Ronald Reagan: Trickle-down was a smokescreen, moron. The money was never intended to go anywhere but up the food chain. It's the only way!
    The Rich Texan: The only way to... what?
    Ronald Reagan: To bring about... the Revolution!
    Mr. Burns: ...
    Ronald Reagan: I'll talk to the people. They always got me.

    Task: Make Ronald Reagan Address the Nation
    Time: 8h

    Lisa: I may not agree with the message, but the dude is WICKED charming. You gotta give him that.
    Lisa: Nice speech, Mr. President. What are you working on, there?
    Ronald Reagan: My latest invention. It's like a beer bong, but for money.
    Ronald Reagan: I'll give them to the top .01%. They'll be able to take in tons more cash, way faster. Cool, huh?
    Lisa: Ewww.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    The New Old New Deal Pt. 4

    Mr. Burns starts

    Mr. Burns: Surely, Mr. President, you can't keep cutting taxes forever?
    Ronald Reagan: We have no choice. It's the only way to bring about the arrival of The One.
    Mr. Burns: Ah, of course! Wait... what?
    Ronald Reagan: The lower taxes get, the more concentrated money becomes. Until that glorious day when a single person has all the money. This is The One.
    Mr. Burns: And who shall this mighty One be? Are you accepting applications?
    Ronald Reagan: Well, I was originally thinking Warren Buffett. Is he still around?
    Mr. Burns: Yes, but he's gone soft. Gives a lot of money to... this is hard to say... charity. *horrified shudder*
    Ronald Reagan: Okay, he's out. We'll keep looking.

    Task: Make Ronald Reagan Promote New Tax Plan
    Time: 4h

    Mr. Burns: Once The One has all the money, what then?
    Ronald Reagan: Then everyone else gets to live in a world without money. Nothing to own. Nobody having power over anyone else.
    Ronald Reagan: Utopia, my brother.
    Mr. Burns: Good Lord! Is our sainted Gipper a... dirty hippie?
    Ronald Reagan: I'm not really into “labels”, chief.

    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    The New Old New Deal Pt. 5

    Lisa starts

    Lisa: Wow, Mr. President. When did you come up with this whole plan to put an end to money?
    Ronald Reagan: I was a precocious 12-year-old scholar, completing my dual concentration in astrophysics and economics at Harvard.
    Lisa: So your whole career, all the acting and everything, was a ploy to reach the White House?
    Ronald Reagan: Correct. And ugh, did I hate Hollywood. Way too conservative for me.
    Lisa: Do you really think The Plan has a shot?
    Ronald Reagan: I've run the numbers, Lisa. And either The One comes to being, or humanity destroys itself by 2031.
    Ronald Reagan: If I can't make this happen, we're doomed!

    Task: Make Ronald Reagan Stress Eat Jellybeans
    Time: 12h
    Location: Ronal Reagan Reeducation Center, Squidport Entrance, Brown House or Simpson House

    Ronald Reagan: Hey, they named an airport after me. Cool.
    Lisa: Mr. President, I want to help in any way I can. Tell me what to do.
    Ronald Reagan: See if you can find me a t-shirt with “Reagan National Airport” on it.
    Lisa: Uh... sure! But I really meant I'd like to help save the world.
    Ronald Reagan: Oh, no need! That's the good news. I re-ran the numbers. Turns out this Trump guy has everything under control.
    Lisa: Wait, no. That can't be.
    Ronald Reagan: Yup, the man's a genius. His economic theories are light years ahead of my own. Dude's playing 20-dimensional chess.
    Lisa: Oh. Of course. I... I should have known.

    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
    Post edited by LPNintendoITA on
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