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Black History: Fair-Weather Father Walkthrough

Fair-Weather Father Pt. 1

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Carl: Bart, you want to do your Black History Month report on me? But why?
Bart: You’re the black person I most admire.
Carl: Really?
Bart: Totally! You’ve saved my dad’s life a million times by turning him on his side when he was passed out.
Carl: Are you sure there isn’t someone you admire more? Thurgood Marshall? Nelson Mandela? The cool bad guy from Black Panther?
Bart: Those guys are great, but I don’t want to research. So let's do this thing already! I’m brokering a fireworks deal with Nelson in half an hour.
Carl: Eh, why not? But I can’t tell the story of my life without talking about the guy who got me here.
Carl: My deadbeat dad, Carl Sr. The spelunker, excavator, and hyper-capitalist founder of the Carl’s Dad Caverns.

Task: Collect Hard Hats [x350]
Task: Make Carl Tell His Father's Story
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall

Carl: No hugs, no games of catch, and he never once took me to a father-son dance.
Carl: *sniff* Lucky for me I was adopted by an Icelandic family that showed me what true love is.
Carl: Because all Carl Sr. cared about was making a buck off those dusty old caverns.
Bart: Wow. Your dad sounds a lot like that rich old jerk from There Will Be Blood.
Carl: Aren’t you a little young for that movie?
Bart: Eh, I got suckered in by the title.
Carl: Me too. They should've called it There Will Eventually Be Blood After Two and a Half Hours.
Bart: You wanna watch it again on my phone?
Carl: Hell yeah.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Fair-Weather Father Pt. 2

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Bart: Haha. “I’m finished!” He sure was finished! Finished beatin’ that priest to death! Hey, what’s wrong?
Carl: *sigh* That complex epic about greed and the monsters it makes of men has got me thinking about my dad and his cavern. I avoided that place for years.
Bart: So you haven’t been back since you were a kid?
Carl: Oh, I went back alright. About five or six years ago…
Bart: Is this another flashback? Cuz I’ve got this fireworks thing with Nelson…

Task: Collect Hard Hats [x300]
Task: Make Bart Reluctantly Stick Around for Carl’s Flashback
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall

On job start:
God: Go to the caverns. Find your purpose.
Carl: Hey Moe, I think that radon leak is back!
Moe: Nah. The canary’s still alive. See, he’s pecking at that dead mouse in his cage.
God: Go to the caverns. Find your purpose.

On job end:
Carl: Hey fellas, when’s the last time you went down to the caverns?
Lenny: They closed 'em down after that stalagmite shish kabob’d those Amish kids on their Rumspringa, remember?
Moe: Yeah, it’s been boarded up ever since.
Carl: Hmm. Maybe I should go down there.
God: No doy. That’s what I’ve been saying this whole time.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Fair-Weather Father Pt. 3

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Carl: Guys! I went down to the boarded-up caverns because the voice of God told me to, and guess what I found!
Moe: A leprechaun? A unicorn? *whispers* Barney, get the extra large butterfly net.
Carl: No! Radioactive waste! Burns must have been dumping it in there for years.
Carl: If the town doesn’t do something soon, it’s gonna leak into the water supply and kill us all!
Moe: Suuuure. Kill us all. *whispers* Barney, where the hell is that net?
Lenny: Mr. Burns runs this town. He controls the TV, radio, internet, and the Springfield Tumblr page! He’s not gonna let you get your message out.
Carl: If the town won’t listen to me, I just have to find someone whose voice can’t be silenced. Like beloved former president Barack Obama!

Task: Collect Hard Hats [x475]
Task: Place Crowd of Presidential Kids
Task: Make Carl Find and Convince Pres. Barack Obama to Help
Time: 4h
Location: White House or Brown House

Carl: Well, former president Barack Obama never returned any of my emails, the jerk.
Carl: But I did manage to find the next best thing! A bunch of school kids dressed as President Obama!
Lenny: Wow! You got your message out and saved the town, Carl! You’re a hero!
Carl: Naw, I’m no hero. I’m just a humble guy trying to do the right thing.
Moe: Hey, Carl. Talk show host Opal is on the phone, and she wants you to be on her Salute to Heroes episode!
Carl: You hear that, you chumps? I’m a hero!!!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Fair-Weather Father Pt. 4

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Opal: Carl Carlsson. I came out of retirement/exile just to do an episode on you and your amazing story.
Opal: It's gone viral and gotten the attention of the entire nation.
Carl: Wow. That's a whole nation more than I was expecting.
Opal: So what in the world made you go down into those caverns, C.C.?
Carl: You’re not gonna believe this, but it was a mission from God.
Ned: Excuse my language but this all sounds like a bunch of hoopla to me!
Opal: Ooh, a fight! I always wanted to do this kind of talk show!

Task: Collect Hard Hats [x400]
Task: Make Opal Instigate Conflict
Time: 4h
Location: Channel 6

On job start:
Ned: What would God want with a beer-belching barfly like you?
Carl: Look Flanders, I didn't ask for this. I was just minding my own business and the voice of God rained down from above.
Ned: Well, something else is about to rain down on you... my fists!
Opal: Mr. Flanders, no! Do it after these words from our sponsors!

On job end:
God: Ned, stop attacking that man! I came to him with this mission for a reason. To heal the deep psychic wounds left by his dad’s absence.
Ned: Well, that does sound like something you'd do. But why not come to me?
God: Frankly, you can be annoying. With the constant prayers, and the check-ins, and the asking about your wives. It piles up like junk mail up here.
Ned: Oh my God. I mean, Oh my You. I was being so selfish. I’m sorry Lord. And I’m sorry Carl.
Opal: Jesus Christ, this is good television.
Jesus Christ: Uh, I'm here too. Or does no one care about that?
Opal: We’ll fit you in the third segment, J.C. I’ll bump Lisa Kudrow.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Fair-Weather Father Pt. 5

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God: Carl, thank you for passing on my message. If it hadn't been for you, Springfield and possibly the world would have been destroyed.
Carl: No problem, God. I'm just glad I could do something noteworthy like my dad.
God: That greedy butthead? He just found a hole in the ground that I made, and over-charged people to see it.
God: You were the real miracle he should have tended to.
Carl: Aw. Thanks, Dad—I mean God. God! I’m sorry, did I make it weird? I made it weird, didn’t I?
God: It’s okay though. I suppose I’m sort of everyone’s dad. And their mom too. Gender’s kind of an Earth construct.

Task: Collect Hard Hats [x475]
Task: Make Carl Play Catch With God
Time: 4h
Location: The Ten Commandments, Heavenly Swing Set or Brown House

Carl: So because of me, the town was saved from total destruction. And I got to play catch with God!
Bart: Wow. What a story! All of it’s gonna go right in my history report. *whispers* Nelson, go get my extra large butterfly net.

Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
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