EA Forums - Banner

Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale: Stupid vs Sexy Walkthrough

LPNintendoITA
11587 posts Member
edited January 5
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 1

Auto starts

Yahweh: You must be this The Leader I've been hearing so much about.
The Leader: In the flesh. What can I do ya for?
Baby Jesus: Yahweh? What are you doing here?
Yahweh: Got summoned, major drag.
Baby Jesus: Tell me about it.
The Leader: You two know each other?
Yahweh: Depends who you ask.
Homer: Well, I hope you're not here to try to stop The Leader. He's a good guy. Other than the whippings, but those were well-deserved.
The Leader: We're just having a good time here, doing surprisingly lucrative manual labor to prepare things for our new home on Blisstonia.
Yahweh: Well, this all seems to be in order. I see no reason why we can't all coexist.
The Leader: Perhaps we could do more. Have you had a chance to see…my spaceship?
Yahweh: Eh, that's cool. Not really my thing.

Task: Collect Candy Canes [x150]
If the user has Yahweh: Task: Make Yahweh Play Hacky-Sack With The Leader
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Play Hacky-Sack With Yahweh
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Plead With Yahweh for Some Smiting
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Endure Another Whipping
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House

Ned: I'm sorry, Marge. We've worked our way to the top of the religion ladder. There's nobody left to pray to.
Marge: Maybe we were praying in the wrong direction.
Ned: It's a bit unconventional, but I guess we could try asking Satan. Satan is Santa spelled sideways, sort of, right?
Mr. Burns: You wished to speak with me?
Marge: Mr. Burns. Your employee, Homer Simpson, has fallen in with a cult! Will you help us?
Mr. Burns: A cult, eh? And what sort of automatons does this cult turn people into?
Marge: Mindless!
Mr. Burns: Mmm, that's the best kind, really. The sentient ones always want to know why you created them, and then they always seem so hurt when you say to make money.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 2

Auto starts

Mr. Burns: Smithers, what is the tax status of this cult?
Smithers: Exempt.
Mr. Burns: That is worrying. I may no longer be the most evil man in Springfield!
Mr. Burns: Perhaps we should form our own religion.
Smithers: We'd need some sort of belief system, preferably in book form.
Mr. Burns: My Rungs of Ruthlessness will be our bible. Commandment One: When in Doubt, Release The Hounds. Commandment Two: Conceal Your Control of the Kerosene Industry Through an Impenetrable Web of Trusts.
Mr. Burns: If we need more commandments we can steal them from Jay G's 50 Rules of Ruthlessness.
Smithers: Is that really the sort of message we want to send?
Mr. Burns: I guess we must be a religion: we've already got our Judas.
King Herod: Excuse me, fine chaps. Have you seen a baby around? About yea-high, long golden locks. Insufferably smug face.
Mr. Burns: Can't say that we have, sorry friend.
King Herod: Quite alright. Thanks for your time. Toodles.
Mr. Burns: ...
Mr. Burns: What a handsome man.
Smithers: Indeed.

Task: Collect Candy Canes [x150]
If the user has Mr. Burns: Task: Make Mr. Burns Start a Cult
Time: 4h
Location: Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building or Brown House
If the user has Smithers: Task: Make Smithers Sort Out the Tax Exemption Paperwork
Time: 4h
Location: Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Search for Baby Jesus
Time: 4h

Rabbi Krustofsky: I'm sorry, Yahweh, but now we have the Movementarians, the Burnsentarians, and the Christians to deal with.
Rabbi Krustofsky: I tried fire and brimstone with Moses but he's a book short of a Pentateuch, if you know what I mean. It's time to bring the chastisement as only you can.
Yahweh: That was the old me. *laughs* I was such a hothead. Plagues of Locusts? Laying waste to **** AND Gomorrah? Who was that guy?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Those were your greatest hits! It's time to dust off the classics.
Yahweh: I prefer to work in mysterious ways now.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Ways that look mysteriously like not working at all.
Yahweh: Don't push your luck, Rabbi! You want a little of what Nineveh got?
Rabbi Krustofsky: There's the wrathful Lord who made the Old Testament a ratings hit!
Rabbi Krustofsky: They changed the "God" character so much in the New Testament, it was basically a new book.
Rabbi Krustofsky: By the way, are you ever going to finish the Bible? It's been more than 2000 years since the last book. The fans are getting impatient.
Yahweh: I don't owe the fans anything. I'm living my life. They should try living theirs.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 3

Auto starts

Marge: Can you make Homer come home, Grampa?
Grampa: Are you nuts? I can't even make him come visit me for an hour!
Grampa: Besides, if I go over there, the next thing you know I'll be handing out pamphlets in the park. I'm what the Navy doctors called weak-minded!
Grampa: I've already been a member of Sailors for Satan, the Order of the Purple Pyramid, and the Harvard Lampoon!
Marge: So many weirdos!
Grampa: Anyhow, you've got better ways of persuading him than I do. If I was you, I'd use 'em!
Marge: Maybe there is one more card I could play. A Christmas card, I mean...

Task: Collect Candy Canes [x150]
Task: Make Marge Buy a Sexy Outfit
Time: 4h
Location: Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Gold Navy, Abercrombie and Rich or Brown House
Task: Make Lisa Accidentally See Marge's Sexy Outfit
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House

Lisa: *gasp* Mom, what is this outfit? It seems to be missing the arms, and the legs, and the…upper chest area.
Marge: Oh, uh…you weren't supposed to see that. But I suppose now is as good a time as any.
Marge: Lisa, uh…so there are birds and there are bees. And sometimes the birds think the bees are cute, for some reason, and uh…
Lisa: Oh my gosh, Mom, please don't try to have the birds and the bees talk with me. I've lived on the streets of Springfield. I've seen things.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 4

Auto starts

Sexy Santa Marge: Oh, Homie… I have something to show you…
The Leader: *gasp* Security! Don't let him see her outfit!
Homer: Marge? Is that – *drooling*
Sexy Santa Marge: Don't you want to come back home with me, Homie?
The Leader: Homer, no! You must resist!
Homer: Must…resist…

Task: Collect Candy Canes [x150]
Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Try to be Sexy
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Try to Resist
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Fire Up the Spaceship as a Distraction
Time: 4h
Location: Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Steal the Spaceship When No One's Looking
Time: 4h
Location: Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Burns Hand Out Burnsentarian Pamphlets
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Demand Yahweh Smite Them All
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Yahweh: Task: Make Yahweh Play Some More Hacky-Sack
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Overhear the Commotion
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House

Homer: Must…go with…sexy Santa…
The Leader: Alright, Homer. You brought this on yourself. *whips him*
Homer: Ow! What's happening? Where am I?
Sexy Santa Marge: Hey, that's cheating!
The Leader: Oh, and that outfit isn't?! Security, get her outta here!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 5

Auto starts

The Leader: Homer, you've shown some real fortitude today. I think you're just about ready for the spaceship.
Homer: Woohoo! There's nothing about this cult that I don't love!
Patty: Alright, The Leader, we've completed our list of complaints to be addressed. First and foremost, we need cable in the rooms. Second and...next foremost, Selma needs a shorter robe.
Selma: These legs gotta breathe under here.
Homer: Oh right, I forgot about them.
Homer: I want to be any place other than here!

Task: Collect Candy Canes [x175]
Task: Make Homer Go Home
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Change Outfits
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Leave After Two Minutes of Patty
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Moses: Task: Make Moses Leave After Two Minutes of Selma
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Wonder Where Baby Jesus Went
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House

King Herod: Baby Jesus was here? And you just…let him go?
The Leader: I didn't LET him go. Baby Jesus choked my guard with his toga and stole my spaceship.
The Leader: If you see him, you can tell him that he's dead to me. DEAD!
King Herod: Yes…dead…wouldn't that be nice…mwwaaahahahahaha…
The Leader: I just meant like figuratively.
King Herod: Yes, me too.

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

The True Meaning of Christmas

After completing Quest Space Cadet Pt. 5, Hallowed Be Thy Shame Pt. 5, Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 5 and Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 5
Auto starts

Marge: Oh, Homie, I'm so glad to have you home for Christmas.
Bart: Yeah, Dad. It was so boring around here without you. Not a single thing broke or blew up.
Homer: There's just nothing like family…
Grampa: *knocking on the door* Can I come in?
Homer: *whispering* Everybody, ssshhh. He'll go away…
Baby Jesus: Well, I for one am real grateful for you letting me stay here until this whole King Herod thing blows over. Guy really knows how to hold a grudge.
Ned: *through the window* You're always welcome at my house, Baby Jesus!
Homer: Buzz off, Flanders! He's our Baby Jesus now!
Marge: Right, now we can all get back to the true meaning of Christmas.
Baby Jesus: Shopping?
Marge: Shopping!

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
My Youtube and Twitch / WikiSimpons Current Event Page and Discord

Replies

  • Gosh, not the funniest chapter 🥱 suppose I liked these bits 😁
    Ned: I'm sorry, Marge. We've worked our way to the top of the religion ladder. There's nobody left to pray to.

    Rabbi Krustofsky: I tried fire and brimstone with Moses but he's a book short of a Pentateuch, if you know what I mean.

    When in Doubt, Release The Hounds.
    Whoa, whoa, whoa – I only accept cash, bitcoin, or GameStop stock.
  • KLmaker
    1498 posts Member
    Yeah, there were plenty of funny lines, as above, the pyramids and so on.
    But I was wondering through out this Act how are they going to finish it as it still seemed to be building.

    THOH was obviously coming to a climax as Lisa was trying to rescue everyone, and then they had to stay, and at some point Bart had to win the dance off, you could feel it finishing.

    But this...???

    It's like some programs when they wrap up the ending to quick, if you blink you miss it.
    I wanted to do it yesterday but I will invariably do it tomorrow (ish).
Sign In or Register to comment.

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. Sign in or register to get started.