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One word story


  • they
  • bluntcard
    4147 posts Member
    Make Nightmare Pile like Zombie Sandwich. All kids trick or treat at once.
  • for.....
  • dainty

    Hey LC! Seeing as you're from the Midlands I may start reading your posts in the voice of Lenny Henry :D
  • ianmia
    9201 posts Member
  • and

  • condensed

    Hey Mr W, why not! B)

    And OMG Ian!!!! Hello Man!
    My party planning buddy!
    I've missed you!
  • ianmia
    9201 posts Member

    Hey LC hows life?
  • so

    Hey Ian! I am groovy thanks and good to hear from your bad self.
    I hope all's well with you! B)
  • ianmia
    9201 posts Member
    Things are good just been busy. Still busy but thought i'd drop by anyway.
  • could

    Well, I was planning a welcome back party for you but @maryclaire1 and @jae_bazz still haven't approved the costs :(

    To be fair it was a pretty exorbitant request, pink fighter jet fly bys are not cheap!!
  • ianmia
    9201 posts Member

    No probably not cheap but very awesome. Just keep plugging away at them with the approval forms and eventually they will cave in.
  • suetopia
    4243 posts Member
  • LawrenceCohen1
    3760 posts Member
    edited May 2017
    In honour of Ian's return- updated text! :D

    The One Word Story

    In fan view cheese heads plasma hippo the dog ate pies with gravy. All the cats chase rabbits hopping down stairs and tripped over my sister's doll house. It exploded loudly, and the doll jumped up on to the pug, however, it sat down and stuck it's humongous tongue onto something big then spat sticky mucus into someone's hair, and then it flew over building which dropped poop everywhere until fairies dusted pharmaceuticals over the townsfolk which made all of the townsfolk turn into big sparkling cockroaches covered with diamonds and horchata flavoured testicules that grew constantly smaller and flavourless which created an insurmountable obstacle that depressed the citizens of white city until smurfs sprayed paint on every mountain.

    Then some hairy trolls ran amok. All the pangolins ate cicadas with mustard cupcakes, defeating the purpose of existence and rendering the townsfolk incapable of hope for tacos made from delicious moon cheese topped eggs with slices of cherry on fluffy wisps of marshmallow. However, they farted balloons at each other's heads, which made their ears flap furiously and their pet axolotls crawl quickly inside a convenient hidden burrow.

    Meanwhile, all of the flatulence created heavy noxious odours which caused the sky to burst explosively and spewed out chocolate bunnies and milk triangles until sugar crystallized. Now there are tacos dripping with spicy DNA laced heavily with armadillos sporting green ponchos underneath colourless sombreros which, why? Because cheese melting slowly dripped off his testicules upon supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ecstasy unyielding jelly donuts.
    Suddenly the Townsfolk started running towards unusual looking Doohickeys that glistened brightly ablaze due to implications caused when several **** microwaved some eggs and bacon flavoured condoms, and condoms are now condoms forevermore condoms, assuming nothing else that happens continues to matter.

    Meanwhile, Satan danced while flames and fiddles Rumba’d for monetary gains. All taxes payable for souls of greedy evangelical politicians passing evil judgements upon the Townsfolk because many of the recent anomalies befuddled the Pimps and **** so dogs sacrificed their masters faces because they wanted them to wear masks for reasons beyond comprehension.
    After a while, the masks became broken and suddenly disintegrated explosively, leaving excrement on every dogs dream. Two Llamas levitated amongst the shrubbery which was glowing brightly. Guarding the shrubbery from horseless Headsmen were gigantic disproportionate robotic lobsters. Easily for all of the Townsfolk to poach baby bearded dragons for diner. The cook sliced vegetables and started looking for tomatillos and said, "EUREKA! I've seen a righteous raccoon hat with a striped tail!" Suddenly Miley flew into the pit underneath the shrubbery orchestra which was grinding tumultuously against its foliage because the violinists had started, "Lost in the Forest of Tacos".

    Unbeknownst to the Mexicans harvesting endives, a megalodon swam within vast oceans of slime. Stardust fell from the Heavens softly onto the swaying Mexicans, restoring their work force with wonderful feelings of greed that drove them to peel every face around. But radioactive iguanas attacked the bloodthirsty clowns who hated Mariachi because they all waltzed and laughed deeply at the strangely clothed marauder. As a tall marauder danced the Tango and stripped skin coloured pieces of spandex from hairy eggs, otherwise some random gremlin trapped himself unexpectedly in. After all insects are quite irrational and easily molested. In Rome there goats, in dresses there since the beginning of time.
    Once that Yukon was frozen alive, the ice melted giving lots of clean water which poured constantly through the cracks, and then fire erupted spontaneously around us. Luckily, just in time, fire-fighters leapt to assist. Unfortunately, some decided that running is preferable. Ironically, they abandoned the idea and jumped into the bikinis and shivered quietly. Then they shimmied singing 'Hallelujah" and then they did knit a weeniewarmer for those cold nights, also there was a sponge hiding butterflies in mayonnaise and tiny jars of rancid, decaying blob fishes. The probing cactus caused horrific fissures within his bowels and liquids bubbled and leaked from his cornea. Some seeped onto Stalin's enormous trouser press.

    Suddenly, the cathedral exploded throwing feces everywhere! Bacon and monks ran down the walls flooding your enormous bathroom adorned the pillar. This madness escalated senselessly for weeks until the elders cut off communication and dug their catacombs diligently. They overlooked important structural waterproofing defects and remodelled the entire substructure, justifying the intentions of the aquatic mammals.

    Two days ago blob fish sung Brexit dirges over racism and puppies. They eventually decided that they needed bins for trash to put out of their compounds, all because Wednesday is bin day! Tuesday's are not the real bin day! It should never be Wednesday that was blamed on killing Smurfs. It truly should alienate everyone from ungracious blue troublemakers whom nobody likes due to their bin day break dancing routines which really were unnecessary. John Doe went mental, he ugh, graaahh... celebrity clowns, because who wants crazy people dressed up like clowns parading around their homes singing 70's hits and 90's one hit wonders off-key? The ear-splitting deafening cacophony could rupture my spleen. There certainly are better forms of self-expression to elevate pent-up homicidal feelings!

    Eventually every bin was emptied except Stalin's because of his enormous trouser press because the truck couldn't lift all of his boxes of starch. So Stalin decided to wear wrinkled trousers until reinforced trash became available. Some types of trousers made Stalin break out on his lower region which swelled, reddened, and itched and burned like hellfire. Fire-ants biting at naughty bits cannot be worse than what Stalin was feeling while riding on a horse shaped bike simultaneously fighting ninjas from Hades.

    Eureka! Stalin surfed Trouser Forums searching for just the right pair of silky pantaloons. They made the women go wild with anticipation of amazing cinnamon buns topped with thick manure sauce. Splendiferous occupants dying of roll poisoning, which is contagious if uncontrolled.

    Pleasure robots can really adapt to donut games. Helicopter spins around haphazardly until Sunday noonish, which is conveniently disturbing.
    Meanwhile, Stalin's trousers became wrinkled, damp, unkempt, almost threadbare and painful to numerous, doh! Homer suffocated on multiple bananas coated in chipotle flavoured bacon wrapped 3foot adorable little pygmies from outer space. Intergalactic tacos with trousers that are powerful and poop-proof and smell proof, so let those bodily fluids roll beautifully down your face and then sting until Stalin discovers his collection of enormous trouser cuffs have gotten pressed vigorously by hobos armed with teleporting octopuses that cried, "Diamonds and Tacos!" Whatever they whispered amongst trousers or shorts soaked in salsa, then stewed in bouillabaisse scented meat masks resembling mutated blob fish with fragrances drifting seductively into underground labyrinths disguised as secret trousers.

    Meanwhile, across the seas, capitalist pig warmongers insulted Stalin's saggy pockets containing nuclear tampons that can explode. So never forget to use them delicately whenever needed, or used carelessly could result in devastating explosions which burn off limbs quickly!

    Mother watched hesitantly as Joo-liet pooped magic tacos sprinkled with trout grilled glitter and much Carmel but without conviction. Sometimes mistakes are mistaken for mistakes mistakenly. Whenever someone mistakenly mistakes their trout for blob fish and calamari marinated in poop is seriously misunderstood food.

    Upon Stalin's triumphant return, Trump wept blood openly upon the trousers made by Hillory Duff elves and several spiders with powers like invisibility, invulnerability, and comment worthy only available to select pro EA users who grill trout without zero conviction and just that help know?

    Stalin never grilled trout because they taste trouty and sickening like flambéed trousers. Occasionally he tried pressing his moustache with dachshunds. However, they barked, so he used poodles, which made pressing sounds as they tricked moustached pistachio flavoured ****. The feeling tripled so they all decided to watch Stalin press his creased moustache into a triangular bin reminiscent of a forgotten Tuesday Beerday! Hurray!

    Empty your lederhosen into piles and then chaos erupts as nude jockeys caring saddles leap clumsily upon dolphins carrying tridents and double mints toward the world’s largest disaster. Somehow it seemed like jockeys could make rapidly propelled torpedoes explode before our eyes. Suddenly, geese erupted from horses, they flapped furiously, upsetting Stalin and making him squeal with intense emotion like a moose with Uzi's firing from some unknown locations long ago.

    "Hey!" said the cat to the freakishly humongous radioactive mushroom flavoured trolls, who should not criticize narwhals because they could explode, upsetting Stalin and causing hallucinations of enormous encrusted bogeys disguised like clowns who grill with abandon causing mayhem.

    Then they stirred sauce vigorously. It sloshed around hypnotically like ships on water. Recently, the planet started deporting anyone who invented greatness and teleporting donuts to Mars.

    "Why?!" Screamed Joo-liet while spilling her fermented eggs everywhere.
    Meanwhile, spiders infected his life, therefore Mary fled hastily to Cambodia where many cops' cars surrounded shepherd’s pie. "Vomit Brie is delicious!" exclaimed BukkajkeSamu as several mermaids wearing seaweed bras sang horribly among thousands of shape shifting koalas pillaging donuts like Homer.
    Lawrence returned with tacos covered in that special sauce made with trouser presses and enormous trout’s grilled with conviction by Mr.Windermere, who usually prefers baked ritual sacrifices. Nevertheless, he delicately grilled Lawrence in buttery feathers just like he fantasizes about, while Juliet was pooping explosively again, some unfortunate soul was green with envy.
    BANG! "Ow!" My eyeball was dribbling mucus!

    Tacos consist mostly of ground donkey which has enormous flies pulverized, which doesn't exactly make sense, unless Ant-Man makes them. Anyways, things that go home take some of Homer's teeth and trousers with donuts stitched clumsily by hand into fantastic little pockets of cream, then embroidered with golden thread.

    Suddenly lightning struck hundreds of times, incinerating the otters' faces, revealing Priests holding blob fish children. Humanoids rush back to Russia. BukkajkeSamu needs urgent trouser assistance because he's worn embarrassingly large holes from pooping. His burrito costume luckily had pockets which contained furious maggots, horses, and trout lures.

    "Townsman...to...were...what? Huh?" Lawrence said, confused because what is he doing? Drinking? Probably, or doing capoeira again. "Really?" Juliet asked herself repeatedly. She couldn't open the hatch on her house safe because her dog welded some tungsten onto it! How does Juliet cook her trout? I think first, then later I don't remember what I was kicking, but I had definitely not kicked a cloud. Funnily enough I decided to fish for fish, which was rather fishy.

    In ancient lowlands pheasants fled from Millhouse because he slaughtered some deranged robots while drinking absinthe. Fortunately, feelings of bliss flowed through blob fish causing catastrophic malfunctions across various entities and farts to the maximum. Furthermore, all lions must eat polenta laced with trout that has been probed thoroughly with conviction and licked incorrectly by multiple gnomes and tacos with creepy fingers resembling Nosferatu's beautiful house boat.

    Ithyphallophobia water is good to drink drowning in the sorrows of hard donuts but English salmon sounds undeniably delicious. However, Brie marinated trout is grilled with flatulence from liars' cars. This aberration sneakily is wonderful except when hatchlings lament their pestilential parents.

    Mary Claire is festive and awesome and stupendous and cool because she likes tacos. Once she levitated above France without wearing underpants but luckily, French people are unconcerned because they were naked and raving.

    Oatmeal was covering Maggie's robotic pacifier fin, covered some of Lenny's trousers, and littering partially at cops and littering dogs flying around giant tacos in Australia and Alaska.

    IckabodShreck and LC and MC murdered fruit flies because the swatter was broken by evil cars flying around the bananas. Stalin died because the trousers on his head looked like the sphincter of Agamemnon, who said, "Wisdom is the weak sauce." He likes faking orgasims about Chelsea and Depp.

    Sexy Chewbacca and Suetopia, drinking, went zip lining through magical blue forests, flying high until she morphed into Wisdom..no, bananas in pyjamas with vinegary saliva.

    Meanwhile, Lowlanders were lost while everyone else was partying at LC's castle and grilling salmon while having cocktails with nice fuzzy bunnies. A man strolled into the yard after milkshakes were brought from Berlin, containing ****'s donut shaped enormous breasts. Someone squeezed between them while he sung, 'Milkshake' to Batman. **** was jumping excitedly while Mox watched. He was giving inappropriate gestures - gestures.

    MaryClaire looked excitedly at Juliet who moaned loudly because cucumbers make nice substitutes for zucchini, which isn't what argumentative theorists conclude usually.

    Meanwhile...(da..da..dum) ghosts chastised the house Mr Windemere built. It stood precariously close to Indian burial grounds. Terrified Juliet was picking tacos off trees when AnnatheWicked found herself serenaded by robots from K-Mart on skateboards. And, she saw Samspargo eating grilled trout and tacos, so he hid from her.

    Women sometimes dangling on purple sharks gliding cars flying around K-mart sunk boats quickly, but ocelots were manufacturing bananas for puppets that loved lawnmowers and linguine that has been tasted by everyone damned.
    The cops arrested Superman because he grilled trout with conviction. He saw some lions practicing jiu-jitsu marvellously so they can conquer the Saxons' Tree house City with perfumed fairies and repulsive jelly and trout that mutates sharks into tacos grilled with butter chicken jelly and slime with tentacles on toast. It's going to rain leeches with anthrax fritters so umbrellas made sense for avoiding giant invertebrates from the jungle fever facility.

    Meanwhile, wolves, rabid rhinos, and dinosaurs were drinking absinthe with cabbage juice at a brothel with Moe Prigoff suddenly stole Death Star from Palpatine for booze and below the place for money. Yoda donuts tasted like sweet Wookie pie. The failing heart slowly ate Stalin's moustache off his face as Homer Davenport excitedly grated donuts under raspberry roulade with his chair factory.

    Someone had left tacos next to Moxxee's house, so obviously, he saw them grilling with conviction and trout served to all Moxxee's neighboreenos that jumped on his horse and truck because helicopters crashed into the volcano.

    Yesterday afternoon was snowing Wednesday and "some people went squeezing cars into houses" Maggie exclaimed. Bart’s discontent grew violently because she couldn't eat chunky pieces of grilled trout, because Justin had Bieber Fever which caused swelling of the area and finds engorged trees with symptoms at their place which caused multiple explosions.

    The Jedi juggled tyres while Batman panicked and tigers jumped into his bed. He found Moxxee attractive because of Billy Graham, he giggled hysterically, uncontrollably whipping his tail with conviction against worldwide flying trout grilled on tacos and trucks, full of messy bananas that every spider that person wanted trained. Quintessentially arachnids boil their young in grease seasoned tumbled about quickly. Bison roaming, stomp, found, stumbled into heaps of flubber, floating mid-air but then everything vanished suddenly.

    WOW! said hippo, who likes someone whom donates all these globs of toothpaste. Smiled tacos taste soapy, oddly not enough bubbles were floating around because of toxins in the cocktails at Henry's truck stop. Henry choked his throttle before each lawn with pitchforks in its house while tiny goblins moonshine! while trolls ran towards the time machine during Halloween preparations while gingerbread men ran faster than until snowmen after winter sluggish. Anyone help explained a dwarf who looked frightened from huge spooky falling goblins. Trucks drove quickly to the Disneyland while gnomes stole magic carpets from evil textile merchants, manufacturers of vile ingredients. Suddenly the alien dogs leapt towards forward onto but didn't notice the ledge and plummeted to the bottom of the ravine. Unfortunately fracturing just the frontal area leaving a dent larger than the circumference of Stalin’s enormous trousers, which were baggy and wrinkled.

    Timidly lizards leaping over and dancing on graves lightly they sung ballads about moustaches and zombies while eating kippers and sardines marinated in oyster sauce. Meanwhile hippies congregated around several trees covered with giant buds and cabbages stuffed with kippers, sweet herring and marshmallows with chocolate bats.

    MaryClaire1 leapt over a unicorn because delusion about clowns, "terrifying" Annathewicked said, because she was looking for pictures of forum regulars without trousers when something she ordered arrived.

    Luckily she arrived just then.

    Moxxee jumped me so I decided to stop running and fight rattlesnakes with Ianmia, which was smart because he knows mongooseese (the language of the mongoose) and called Maryclaire and Taco_Belle making the super team about as the powerful rattlesnakes but suddenly LawrenceCohen1 jumped in wearing nothing but body paint and glitter, he exuded confidence as zombies gnawed his face and buttocks while he screamed "you'll die, have indescribable tickles!"

    Meanwhile zombies rambled towards Trump Tower and devoured the misogynistic racist leaving absolutely nothing behind and parties, zombies and many ducks quacked at tentative houses while spiders danced with Stalin’s trout when elephants cry about forums that don't grill with conviction.

    Still, I like ducks and I've found happiness at the pond.

    Frogs are beautiful because they're green.

    Batman rules! Robin ****.

    Meanwhile the hulk waltzed with Brevis45 in high heels and balaclavas bedazzling baphomet idolising ducks masterfully without wearing a green tortoise shell hat or blue feet. Meanwhile some bin men woke LC by finding his tacos underneath the intricate coral reef haircut. At BoRicks house there were crabs grilling simultaneously with zero minutes remaining for Stalin wondered about Samspargo when suddenly his former house exploded, obliterating all trousers.

    Superman viciously attacked tardigrades with tiny subatomic panpipes causing irreversible deafness. Meanwhile a voluptuous vixen dressed Stalin style, moustache included, kissed softly on sensitive the most responsive area of the entire lower portion dorsal fin erotically. Afterwards while resting there was a disturbance, interrupting the force which Yoda knew about because he had a bad tingling sensation on his enormous dorsal fin which was protruding from his back. He found a peculiar arrangement of tomatoes.

    Picking fruit trees one can find humorous antics like squirrels, chaffinches and sharks. They play together and share M&M's with crickets chirping Beethoven, Bach and Mozart whilst slowly waltzing around the enormous dorsal fin.

    Sirens blared and subsequently woke LC from dreaming about enormous ducks, land sharks and many great big kippers. Bins filled with multiplying bunnies’ feet were surrounding MaryClaire and she yelled "oysters? yuck! I want popcorn!" Then Moxxee yelled "tacos!" Suddenly Taco_Belle appeared holding forbidden nuggets made of vomit flavoured brie and cheese doodles with chocolate trousers.

    Reincarnated snakes slithered away while Stalin’s horse galloped to Uranus.

    Meanwhile pigs in space needed blankets because they were ill, however they had bacon wrapped around sausages, yum! Everyone except Wally found donuts inside the trout mask replica. Coincidentally argiopes spun intricate webs across a galaxy without houses and planes. A trout walked around Reykjavik and Yoda squealing like pigs in blankets, routinely snorting up laxatives.

    A trilobite is eating pizza at Trumps nightmare house, albeit scared.
    Meanwhile in the studio, Yoda farted loudly in a wealthy restaurant near Skegness, between a small gap which lingered.

    Beyond all feeling of confusion is death.

    Sticks hanging Chad, some Stormtroopers stormed the trouser snake and pants of the emperor TinyHands The Third. Coincidently his trousers vanished revealing secret appendages which flailed wildly.

    Twenty hummingbirds sipped vodka through straws made from straw.

    Something startled Stalin lookalike MrWindermere, he shrieked "Trouserrrrssssssssss!!!!!" passionately while some bats drank stout with chocolate coated straws, they slowly lashed their wings and made bubbles out of diarrhoea.

    Meanwhile, humongous mushrooms sprouted out of MaryClaire1’s garden. She picked violently at them until they burst squirting starbursts all over the lawn. Many ducks quack whenever they see Starbursts coated with breadcrumbs, delighted by their gritty texture.

    If sparrows could write detailed autobiographies the catastrophe would cause severe gastrointestinal grumblings that found sisters doing stuff to impress strangers. Oysters will aggravate sharks if provoked by blob fish who frolic wildly and passionately make lasagne.

    Blob fish are surprisingly agile because their member names are unpronounceable. However, when Suetopia tickles flies wickedly she laughs at their tiny feet. Tintinnabulation with mice and swans biting my pants off. Baby squids are swimming happily in the broth with bits of garlic and potato and pizza.
    Suddenly Juliet screamed "Ragnarok!", “Noooo!”, “Yessssss!” then MaryClaire1 glided she soared above Stalin and sang songs about ducks and transubstantiation.

    If Denny was around then he would say hello! He played with broken legs covered in feathers and houses trousers. Lucky some cowboys arrived at Denny’s because he wanted denim pants instead of leather pants, so he removed his singing parakeet squawks from deep down inside his gorlo.
    Meanwhile Stalin read boustrophedon because he dragon eyes exploded upon those blue waffles that grilled langoustines gracefully.

    When psychedelic sharks ferment they oscillate wildly and seductively until little mothmen chant “fly towards the bin” until the juice fell onto traffic cones.

    Spiderman was organising his collection of dehydrated water lilies when robotic lemurs carrying harpoons fired at pink drainpipes covered with strawberry ice cream. “Ouch” said LawrenceCohen because he dropped hundreds of sticklebacks down his toilet flap which hurt his enormous trout face.

    MrWindermere was transmitting alien frequencies when something hiding behind the toilet threw globules of explosive mucus at the cowboy dolphins. Suetopia crept quickly past the miniature gorgons towards several ducks quacking loudly triumphantly and with much passion. Thyroids taste yucky unless grilled with conviction.

    Grave robbers took femurs from mausoleums believing they can be lucky, they burn sacrificial vagabonds at midnight with conviction. Later, tadpoles were debating about tacos and throat singing when Juliet pooped on bread assassins which caused an explosion of green fireworks.

    Reflective teeth reflected teeth and jerky dreams.

    “Never!” shouted the angry MrWindermere at MaryClaire1 because she because, because, because, because of the wonderful things she does!

    Meanwhile, Superman ironed his lycra hat melting it beautifully on the scalp. When the trout sang with beautiful conviction.

    Lawrence is dying because he has not taken his suppositories, however MaryClaire1 quickly took Mr.Windermere's suppositories and socks. Stalin likes pressing his trousers because creases drive him crazy. He asked his mum if she knew where the spleen was hiding because the insane chupacabra needed to eat. Problematic trouser hoarders congregated incorrectly around statues of of of of many orang-utans dancing.

    Mittens with no hands are kittens with no mittens but flamethrowers will be warm and toasty like mittens which are usually chocolate shaped bunnies. If termites could tap-dance with anteaters and Nessie the little shoes attacked giant feet with webbing mittens and passion fruit tacos filled with feces.

    “Yowzer!” yelled LawrenceCohen, questions authority.

    LawrenceCohen eats slimy oysters and langoustine with MaryClaire1 and she didn’t leave until all of the slimy tentacles were devoured and finished.

    LawrenceCohen likes Stalin’s trousers because he thinks trousers are wonderful.

    Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis Spiderman died because Flyman tiptoes into cobwebs and a ginormous but actually intelligent pancake.

    Bassoons buzzed horribly wrong yet Stalin pressed his trousers vigorously while dinosaurs nervously lingered nearby. Sometimes dinosaurs wear hats with pretty pink flowers, however they also wear knitted bras and felt like showgirls. Tragically they wished for dainty dresses and condensed soup so they could have satisfied.......
  • their
  • ianmia
    9201 posts Member
  • desires
  • ianmia
    9201 posts Member
    , but
  • Ianmia
  • ianmia
    9201 posts Member
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