Husband/partner in delivery room: yes or no?

Merc1994

If she wants me around, sure, why not. I dont see why i shouldnt or couldnt be there. We both made the kid.
You want to be there for her and to see the kid right away, right. For me, not being there is very 1950's i guess.

Undaunted-001

IMO the woman shouldn't have a right to say yes or no if your bond is that close it should make a difference. I'd want to support my wife. Unless it's for other reason (ill health, or you don't get on). Or they both agreed previously then yes.

But I guess it can also depend on you religious believes too but I guess that can be lumped in with "previously agreed"

If my wife stopped me from entering, then it would make me rethink about the women I married. But that's just my opinion. Right or wrong of me but I believe that men and women are equal on everything.

Merc1994

Very interesting prompts here!
My husband and I both agreed from the beginning that we would go through this together, but I can see why some people wouldn't want to.
Let's just say that some gross stuff might be going on in there

emymarek721

My husband was there, but was so flustered and confused, he didn't know what to do, where to stand, how to help. All of his 'training' went right out the window. The nurses made him stand aside because he kept getting in the way. LOL! Thankfully, I had my backup with me... My mom. She was amazing!! It was better with our second. He waited in the waiting room until it was time to deliver, and my mom stayed with me the entire time. (Decided on well before the delivery date. He knew he'd be just as bad, and I was fine with it.)

Merc1994

emymarek721 wrote:

My husband was there, but was so flustered and confused, he didn't know what to do, where to stand, how to help. All of his 'training' went right out the window. The nurses made him stand aside because he kept getting in the way. LOL! Thankfully, I had my backup with me... My mom. She was amazing!! It was better with our second. He waited in the waiting room until it was time to deliver, and my mom stayed with me the entire time. (Decided on well before the delivery date. He knew he'd be just as bad, and I was fine with it.)

Poor guy. I'm kinda scared that mine will freak out as well. Let's hope he doesn't!

juliet603

First off congrats and I'm jealous! Currently trying to get pregnant myself...

But (if and when) it happens my fiance will be there, I couldn't imagine it any other way to be honest and neither could he. He's my best friend and the person who looks after me when I'm scared or sick so it would be 100% weird not to go through something like that with him - let alone the fact that it's his baby too!

direwolf987

Congrats on the future little person :-)

I tell my fiance' that if we have kids I will be next door at the bar or something and will come see her the next day. I'm kidding of course.

My way of looking at it is; What ever she wants, in this situation, she will get. I figure the happier and less stressed she is during delivery, the better chance the little person will arrive healthy and with less complications.

Edit: Not looking forward to the unforced bowel movement (Not sure if that actually happens, I have not made any people)

mwdalton

I was in the delivery room with my wife, and I helped, and I cut the umbilical cord. It was pretty gross, but I think it's important to be there.

emymarek721

Merc1994 wrote:

emymarek721 wrote:

My husband was there, but was so flustered and confused, he didn't know what to do, where to stand, how to help. All of his 'training' went right out the window. The nurses made him stand aside because he kept getting in the way. LOL! Thankfully, I had my backup with me... My mom. She was amazing!! It was better with our second. He waited in the waiting room until it was time to deliver, and my mom stayed with me the entire time. (Decided on well before the delivery date. He knew he'd be just as bad, and I was fine with it.)

Poor guy. I'm kinda scared that mine will freak out as well. Let's hope he doesn't!

LOL!! It wasn't planned that way. We went to all the classes. Practiced our breathing. But when the day arrived... he was a big old blank. I was too preoccupied to care, honestly. He was there. That's all that mattered. And the second time? He was a few feet away in the next room, if I needed him. I found out later that he slept most of the time, so he was lucky. I told him, "I hope you enjoyed your sleep! Because you won't be getting any for the next couple of months."

BTW... what happened with us wasn't the norm. I know MANY women who've had husbands who were wonderful! I'm hoping that your husband won't be anything mine. Chances are... he'll be great!

Merc1994

juliet603 wrote:

First off congrats and I'm jealous! Currently trying to get pregnant myself...

But (if and when) it happens my fiance will be there, I couldn't imagine it any other way to be honest and neither could he. He's my best friend and the person who looks after me when I'm scared or sick so it would be 100% weird not to go through something like that with him - let alone the fact that it's his baby too!

Oooh, good luck, I wish you all the best!

Apparently, everyone (so far) agrees on this one!

emymarek721

direwolf987 wrote:

Congrats on the future little person :-)

I tell my fiance' that if we have kids I will be next door at the bar or something and will come see her the next day. I'm kidding of course.

My way of looking at it is; What ever she wants, in this situation, she will get. I figure the happier and less stressed she is during delivery, the better chance the little person will arrive healthy and with less complications.

Edit: Not looking forward to the unforced bowel movement (Not sure if that actually happens, I have not made any people)

Eek! Thankfully, that never happened with me. And I've had two kids. Not saying it won't...But it doesn't always happen. :-)

Merc1994

direwolf987 wrote:

Congrats on the future little person :-)

I tell my fiance' that if we have kids I will be next door at the bar or something and will come see her the next day. I'm kidding of course.

My way of looking at it is; What ever she wants, in this situation, she will get. I figure the happier and less stressed she is during delivery, the better chance the little person will arrive healthy and with less complications.

Edit: Not looking forward to the unforced bowel movement (Not sure if that actually happens, I have not made any people)

Thanks :-)
Well, apparently sometimes it does...
Anyway the partner is usually made to sit next to the mother's head, so he won't see anything too "disturbing" (at least that's how they do it here in Italy), so don't worry

mwdalton wrote:

I was in the delivery room with my wife, and I helped, and I cut the umbilical cord. It was pretty gross, but I think it's important to be there.

May I ask you something?
Do you think it's important for the mother, for the father, for the kid...? Ultimately, if you look back, did you "enjoy" it? Would you do it again, and if so, would you be happy?
If it's too personal it's alright, I won't get offended :-)

Edit: damn autocorrect!

Merc1994

emymarek721 wrote:

Merc1994 wrote:

emymarek721 wrote:

My husband was there, but was so flustered and confused, he didn't know what to do, where to stand, how to help. All of his 'training' went right out the window. The nurses made him stand aside because he kept getting in the way. LOL! Thankfully, I had my backup with me... My mom. She was amazing!! It was better with our second. He waited in the waiting room until it was time to deliver, and my mom stayed with me the entire time. (Decided on well before the delivery date. He knew he'd be just as bad, and I was fine with it.)

Poor guy. I'm kinda scared that mine will freak out as well. Let's hope he doesn't!

LOL!! It wasn't planned that way. We went to all the classes. Practiced our breathing. But when the day arrived... he was a big old blank. I was too preoccupied to care, honestly. He was there. That's all that mattered. And the second time? He was a few feet away in the next room, if I needed him. I found out later that he slept most of the time, so he was lucky. I told him, "I hope you enjoyed your sleep! Because you won't be getting any for the next couple of months."

BTW... what happened with us wasn't the norm. I know MANY women who've had husbands who were wonderful! I'm hoping that your husband won't be anything mine. Chances are... he'll be great!

Thanks for the kind words. And, well, even if he won't, who cares! It's gonna be alright anyway. :-) (yup, feeling positive today )

direwolf987

mwdalton wrote:

I was in the delivery room with my wife, and I helped, and I cut the umbilical cord. It was pretty gross, but I think it's important to be there.

Did you use your teeth to cut it

NOVAwiz00

I was with my wife through both deliveries. Held her leg up and tried my best to keep encouraging her to push and it will be alright. The second one I got to cut the cord.

What happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room. So don't mention the pooping.

By the way congrats.

emymarek721

BTW... Two of my uncle's were never 'kid' people. They never wanted them, didn't have much patience for them, and weren't looking forward to having them. We were actually worried!!

But when they found out they were going to have babies... WOW!! Did they change!! At first, they weren't 'all in' about it. But as time went on, and bellies got bigger, they changed!! Especially after hearing their baby's heartbeat for the first time. And to see how proud they were to show off their sonogram photos! It was amazing!

By the time came to deliver, they were incredibly excited!! Both of my aunts told me that they were AMAZING partners. Holding hands, rubbing backs, giving ice chips when needed... the whole nine yards! And as far as dads go? Holy cow!! They went from kid haters to Fathers of the Year. One of my uncles, who was worse than the other, became a Boy Scout leader, would take his daughter to father-daughter dances, and was so involved in their lives, it was beautiful!

It's amazing how one small little bundle of love can change a person so completely!

I'm really happy for you! I truly wish you a fast, EASY delivery!

And enjoy every single minute of his or her life. The first smile, the first laugh. The first time they tell you, "I love you, Mommy." Those are melt-your-heart moments!

And take LOTS of photos and videos!

My daughter is 24, and my son is 19, but it seems like only yesterday that I was rocking them to sleep, or giving them bottles. It goes by so fast, so cherish every moment!

And HUGE congratulations to you, Mommy!! I hope you had a really lovely FIRST Mother's Day! It'll be even better next year!

Merc1994

NOVAwiz00 wrote:

I was with my wife through both deliveries. Held her leg up and tried my best to keep encouraging her to push and it will be alright. The second one I got to cut the cord.

What happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room. So don't mention the pooping.

By the way congrats.

sorry
And thanks!

emymarek721 wrote:

BTW... Two of my uncle's were never 'kid' people. They never wanted them, didn't have much patience for them, and weren't looking forward to having them. We were actually worried!!

But when they found out they were going to have babies... WOW!! Did they change!! At first, they weren't 'all in' about it. But as time went on, and bellies got bigger, they changed!! Especially after hearing their baby's heartbeat for the first time. And to see how proud they were to show off their sonogram photos! It was amazing!

By the time came to deliver, they were incredibly excited!! Both of my aunts told me that they were AMAZING partners. Holding hands, rubbing backs, giving ice chips when needed... the whole nine yards! And as far as dads go? Holy cow!! They went from kid haters to Fathers of the Year. One of my uncles, who was worse than the other, became a Boy Scout leader, would take his daughter to father-daughter dances, and was so involved in their lives, it was beautiful!

It's amazing how one small little bundle of love can change a person so completely!

I'm really happy for you! I truly wish you a fast, EASY delivery!

And enjoy every single minute of his or her life. The first smile, the first laugh. The first time they tell you, "I love you, Mommy." Those are melt-your-heart moments!

And take LOTS of photos and videos!

My daughter is 24, and my son is 19, but it seems like only yesterday that I was rocking them to sleep, or giving them bottles. It goes by so fast, so cherish every moment!

And HUGE congratulations to you, Mommy!! I hope you had a really lovely FIRST Mother's Day! It'll be even better next year!

Ah, this made me all teary... Damn hormones :')
Thanks for sharing this, and thanks for all your kind wishes :')

emymarek721

Merc1994 wrote:

May I ask you something?
Do you think it's important for the mother, for the father, for the kid...? Ultimately, if you look back, did you "enjoy" it? Would you do it again, and if so, would you be happy?
If it's too personal it's alright, I won't get offended :-)

In a few minutes, check your messages. I have something to say that'll answer that. But I'd rather not say it on the boards.

mwdalton

Merc1994 wrote:

mwdalton wrote:

I was in the delivery room with my wife, and I helped, and I cut the umbilical cord. It was pretty gross, but I think it's important to be there.

May I ask you something?
Do you think it's important for the mother, for the father, for the kid...? Ultimately, if you look back, did you "enjoy" it? Would you do it again, and if so, would you be happy?
If it's too personal it's alright, I won't get offended :-)

Edit: damn autocorrect!

'Enjoy it' is probably a bit strong, but it was a bit exciting, and special. I'd do it again, if only to be there for my wife, but to be honest, I think I'd want to be there anyway.

NOVAwiz00 wrote:

I was with my wife through both deliveries. Held her leg up and tried my best to keep encouraging her to push and it will be alright. The second one I got to cut the cord.

What happens in the delivery room stays in the delivery room. So don't mention the pooping.

By the way congrats.

Also, don't mention the placenta. Ew.

direwolf987 wrote:

mwdalton wrote:

I was in the delivery room with my wife, and I helped, and I cut the umbilical cord. It was pretty gross, but I think it's important to be there.

Did you use your teeth to cut it

No.

mr_skeltal_80

direwolf987 wrote:

mwdalton wrote:

I was in the delivery room with my wife, and I helped, and I cut the umbilical cord. It was pretty gross, but I think it's important to be there.

Did you use your teeth to cut it

I think he used his laser-eyes.

Merc1994

mwdalton wrote:

'Enjoy it' is probably a bit strong, but it was a bit exciting, and special. I'd do it again, if only to be there for my wife, but to be honest, I think I'd want to be there anyway.

Thanks for clearing it up! :-)