A young man felt very guilty when he had to put his elderly father into a nursing home. So he went to visit him to see if he was adjusting to the place. He was relieved to see how clean and nice the place was. His father was in the dining room having lunch so he decided to join him. Part way through the meal his father started leaning to one side. Instantly an attendant appeared and straightened him up. Several minutes later, he leaned to the other side. Again, an attendant immediately ran over and helped him get upright in his seat. The rest of the meal was without incident, and over coffee the son asked the father how he felt about the nursing home.
Well son the place is nice and clean and the service is good, but there's one thing I really can't stand".
"What's that, asked the son?"
"They don't let you fart here"!
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel around his male member. The bartender serves him a beer and says, "Excuse me, sir. Do you realize you've got a steering wheel around your ****?"
The pirate says, "Yaaaaarrr! And it's drivin' me nuts!"
Replies
Elians allergic to cheese - it's the biggest threat ever!
Lmao, bet he doesn't like to smell his feet then?
Or open an old library book.
Well son the place is nice and clean and the service is good, but there's one thing I really can't stand".
"What's that, asked the son?"
"They don't let you fart here"!
The pirate says, "Yaaaaarrr! And it's drivin' me nuts!"
Well Juliet if you're still here you can help me pick my nail colour
(Frankly, so am I.)
Here's what I've got in my cheesy joke arsenal:
What's brown and sticky?
...a brown stick.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
...because 7 8 9.
Do it.
A carrot!