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Smells Like Mean Spirit

Smells Like Mean Spirit Pt. 1

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Lisa: School is ridiculous!
Lisa: Today, Miss Hoover made us play Hide 'n' Hide until the day was over.
Bart: Yeah, it's like no one cares if we even go to school.
Bart: It's paradise!
Lisa: I can't allow the young minds of Springfield to grow as soft as the middle-aged butts of Springfield.
Lisa: I must take this to the Internet!
Bart: No one will care. Especially not the Internet...
Bart: ...unless you put it into list form, or write it on a photo of a cat.
Lisa: My friends will care...
Bart: What friends?
Lisa: You're right, I need some friends!
Lisa: But where do you meet friends outside of school?
Lisa: The library? Volunteering at a retirement home?
Lisa: Come on, Lisa, don't think like yourself.
Lisa: You hate yourself. Think like a vapid tween.

Task: Build Gold Navy (24h)

Lisa: You can't spell fair-weather friend without friend!

Smells Like Mean Spirit Pt. 2

After tapping on Janey's exclamation mark
Janey: Oh it's you, Lisa. My ninth friend I'm most excited to see!
Janey: Congrats on finally making it to my top ten.
Lisa: How about we switch and I'll keep the "Best" part of the "Best Friends" necklace I just gave you?
Janey: I appreciate that. I don't want to exclude anyone better who might come around.
Janey: Too bad they don't make "Best Acquaintance" necklaces.
Lisa: Janey, I wanted to see if you'd star in a series about school reform on ViewTube.
Janey: You had me at star and then lost me at school reform, but got me back at ViewTube. I'm in!
Lisa: First we need a name for our channel.
Lisa: We're devil-may-care women taking on the academic establishment, so maybe "Naughty School Girls".
Lisa: Type it in.
Janey: *gasp* Not that.
Janey: How about something more innocent, like Sparkle Pony Squad?
Lisa: *gasp* The Internet is a filthy place.

Task: Make Janey Set Up a ViewTube Account on her Laptop (8h, Bench) and Make Lisa Record a School Awareness Video (8h, Springfield Elementary)

Smells Like Mean Spirit Pt. 3

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Lisa: I registered a complaint with ViewTube.
Lisa: Clearly they didn't release our video properly -- we don't have a single view!
Janey: You didn't watch your own video?
Lisa: I thought it would be unethical, like voting for yourself or eating meat or trick or treating for anyone other than UNICEF.
Janey: It's boring stuff like that that's made our video unwatchable.
Janey: Our videos need more jazz, more pizzazz, more razzmatazz – more z's in general!
Lisa: I suppose even the most prestigious news organizations still add little bits of flair to keep people interested.
Lisa: Like 60 Minutes' ticking clock or Kent Brockman's topless weather updates.
Kent Brockman: Tune in for * on the Nines.
Janey: Great! So next step is to get your cat, Lisa.
Lisa: Snowball II? But why?
Janey: If we put a cat in our video, everyone from the poorly parented toddler to the bored office worker to the--
Tapped Out Crazy Cat Lady Icon.png MWABLAHAHAHAHAAH!
Janey: ...clinically insane will watch our videos.
Janey: Everyone loves watching cats!

Task: Make Janey Work on a Cat Video (8h, Simpsons Home) and Make Lisa Work on a Cat Video (8h, Simpsons Home)

Smells Like Mean Spirit Pt. 4

After tapping on Janey's exclamation mark
Janey: Our video has over 9,000 views and the comments have dissolved into an Anti-Semitic shouting match!
Janey: We're a hit!
Lisa: But it has nothing to do with the promotion of education!
Lisa: It's all about cats, jewelry, and make-up. How does this help our cause?
Janey: It's simple. We get enough views to get an endorsement deal, then a small part on a sitcom, then a movie career, then we win an Oscar.
Janey: And then we start a charity to reform pools.
Lisa: You mean schools?
Janey: Whatever.
Janey: Plus look, your original video has 97 views! It benefits just from being on the same channel as this video.
Janey: Just like you benefit from being friends with me.
Lisa: I hardly think being invited to one roller skating birthday party is enough to sacrifice my beliefs.
Janey: I'll throw in the sleepover afterwards. Very exclusive, only five other girls will be there.
Lisa: If I can get a written contract that states my hand will not be placed in a cup of warm water, it's a deal.

Task: Make Lisa Pre-Plan a New Video (12h, Springfield Library) and Make Janey Plan, Record, and Post Several Videos (12h, Springfield Library)

Bart: Janey, it has come to my attention that you and Lisa have started a popular ViewTube channel, and I must admit I've grown intrigued.
Janey: Well I'm posting a video about how to French braid your Malibu Stacy doll later today. Make sure to check it out!
Bart: Let's just say I'm less interested in participating as a viewer, and more interested in expanding your audience base by shifting the paradigm.
Janey: Excuse me?
Bart: I want in. With your sense of lame girlie things, my sense of awesome boy things, and Lisa's sense of...
Bart: ...owning a camera, we could be famous!
Janey: You had me at girl, lost me at boy, and got me back at famous!

Smells Like Mean Spirit Pt. 5

After tapping on Janey's exclamation mark
Janey: What part of the ViewTube team do you want to play?
Janey: We'll have an opening for boom operator once the tape unsticks and the mic falls.
Bart: Janey, please. I'm clearly an on-air talent.
Bart: I'm proposing a channel chock-full of pranks bound to bring in the most influential, widely coveted, and simple-minded market there is -- young boys!
Bart: Think of the money we could make. Swimming pools full!
Bart: Assuming that the swimming pool is small and the money novelty size.
Janey: Our parents are never going to let us make money off the Internet.
Janey: My dad always said it isn't money if you didn't make it yourself.
Janey: But he's also a known counterfeiter, so maybe we shouldn't listen to him.
Bart: Wake up, Janey. There are no adults on the Internet. Just children with their parents' credit cards.
Janey: My dad's not allowed to have a credit card... on account of being wanted for counterfeiting.
Janey: It's why I've had so many last names.
Bart: Leave the credit card to me. I know just the idiot for the job.
Bart: Bart, did you just say my name?
Bart: I got some guac in my ear and tried to clean it out with a cheese puff and, long story short, the living room is now full of seagulls.

Task: Make Bart Put Ads on the ViewTube Account (24h, Simpsons Home)

Janey: I want to expand our channel into the dating scene. As an eight-year-old girl, I think I have wisdom to share.
Janey: So, Bart, I set you up on a blind date with one of my friends.
Bart: WHAT? I don't do dates. Neither the fruit nor the activity.
Janey: If you don't go on this date, I'm prepared to spread a rumor that you've got…
Janey: A gluten allergy!
Bart: NOOOOOO! Popularity demands gluten.
Bart: Alright, who am I going on a date with?
Sherri & Terri: Me!
Bart: Demon!
Bart: I mean – De'monday sound good, mon?

Double Trouble!

This quest only appears if the user has Sherri and Terri.

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
Bart: You wanted to see me, Sherri… Or is it Terri?
Sherri & Terri: Bart Simpson! You can't joke your way out of our date!
Bart: Oh yes, our date.
Bart: First lets start with the romantic French tradition of stating our full names and then writing our first initials on our hands.
Sherri & Terri: That's hilarious, Bart. Of course, I know your name. And, of course, you know mine. I love the way you say my name.
Sherri & Terri: Say it now, why don't you.
Bart: She... Ter… How about I give you a fun first date nickname instead?
Bart: Let's settle for ‘erri, just to be safe.
Sherri & Terri: But what are you going to call me?
Sherri & Terri: Surprise, my sister is going to be our chaperone! Isn't that fun?
Sherri & Terri: It's like you're going out with a mirror. Now, how about getting a sweet for your sweet?

Task: Make Bart Attempt to Discern Who he is Dating (12h, Krusty Burger) and Make Sherri & Terri Go on a Date (12h, Krusty Burger)

Bart: They keep switching places! I'll never figure out who's who.
Bart: What if I give the sundae to the wrong twin? I'll be the laughing stock of the playground.
Bart: I know, I'll buy two! Bart, sometimes you really are a genius.
Bart: Not genius enough to distinguish between two different people, but genius all the same.

Smells Like Mean Spirit Pt. 6

After tapping on Janey's exclamation mark
Janey: I'm sorry, Lisa, we took a vote and we're kicking you off the Viewtube channel.
Janey: The tally was actually 3 to 0, even though you voted.
Lisa: I told you – I can't vote for myself.
Lisa: But this channel was my idea!
Lisa: I haven't been stabbed in the back like this since I played Julius Caesar in the school play. I got betrayed by my understudy.
Bart: Your videos are dragging us down.
Bart: No one has even bothered to comment "First" on them. They are THAT unpopular.
Lisa: We were going to change the world, one five-minute video at a time.
Lisa: Now you're just adding to the clutter.
Janey: Excuse me, sounds like someone hasn't seen my video on clearing out closet clutter.
Lisa: I did watch that video. What does it mean to organize your clothes by nationality?
Janey: If you can't spot horrendous Canadian fashion from a mile away, then you shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes at all!
Lisa: Abandoned again by my own creation. It's like my Self Sufficiency Robot all over again.

Task: Make Janey Create a School Fashion Video (6h, Gold Navy), Make Lisa Cry (6h, SimpsonHome) and Make Bart Record a Video of Lisa Crying (6h, SimpsonHome)

Lisa: You ruined this for me, Bart. And you turned my closest quasi-friend against me!
Bart: They say keep your friends close but your enemies closer, so by that logic, you two should be closer than ever.
Bart: You're welcome!
Bart: Listen, Lisa, we're just trying to run a business here. That was the whole point.
Lisa: No, the whole point of this was to bring awareness to issues plaguing our school system!
Lisa: Maybe I need to go tell Mom and Dad what you've done.
Bart: Puh-leez. Do you really think Mom and Dad will be mad at me after I tell them I've made enough money to dine at a restaurant and not dash.
Bart: You know how much Homer hates to dash.
Lisa: Almost as much as he hates being humiliated for profit and not getting a cut.
Bart: *GULP*

Smells Like Mean Spirit Pt. 7

After tapping on Lisa's exclamation mark
Bart: You used my personal information to open a website thingy to try and make money off of shaming me?
Bart: Nobody exploits anyone in this family for monetary gain but ME, boy! You're grounded for a week!
Lisa: Take that Bart!
Bart: Lisa! Nobody likes a snitch! You're grounded for a month.
Lisa: That's unfair! You wouldn't have even known about this Internet scheme if I hadn't told you.
Bart: That's right. And in return I'm teaching you a valuable life lesson.
Bart: Trust no one.

Task: Make Bart Go to his Room (6h, Simpsons Home) and Make Lisa Go to her Room (6h, Simpsons Home)

Smells Like Mean Spirit Pt. 8

After tapping on Janey's exclamation mark
Janey: My videos are nothing but down-votes!
Janey: This is worse than when Gold Navy ended their three pants for three dollars made by three child laborers sale.
Bart: There's no such thing as bad publicity, dollface.
Bart: A down-vote is still a view and each view means more money, money, money!
Janey: I don't care about the money. I want out.
Janey: These comments are so mean and poorly spelled. I'm starting to think there might be a seamy underbelly to the Internet.
Bart: That's enough! I had to suffer through a 6 hour grounding for this.
Bart: But now the money's rolling in and this machine can't be stopped.
Bart: We're too big to fail!
Bart: Wait, where have I heard that before?
Wiggum: Young man, you're under arrest for credit card fraud.
Blue-Haired Lawyer: Has he gotten to where he tells you that you have the right to an attorney?
Wiggum: Ahhh, best part of my job – arresting kids.
Bart: Now come on, fellas. I'm sure we can settle this like men. Specifically men who accept bribes.
Quimby: Did someone say my name?

Task: Make Bart Try to Bribe the Establishment (6h, Court House) and Make Wiggum Charge Bart with Fraud and Attempted Bribery (6h, Court House)

Smells Like Mean Spirit Pt. 9

After tapping on Janey's exclamation mark
Janey: How did the trial go?
Blue-Haired Lawyer: I got young Mr. Simpson off on a technicality.
Lisa: What technicality?
Blue-Haired Lawyer: RUN!
Lou: Chief, that kid we arrested is running away.
Wiggum: Good for him.
Lou: You know we've got a squad car. And a radio. And a whole police force, and...
Lou: ...Chief, you sleeping standing up again?
Bart: *panting* So what video should we record next?
Bart: I stole a taser from Wiggum's belt. Wanna test it on Milhouse?

Task: Make Janey Shut Down the ViewTube Channel Count (6h, Bench)

Country on the Inside


Country on the Inside Pt. 1

After tapping on Lurleen's exclamation mark:
Lurleen: There was a time when singing at the Beer-N-Brawl was the highlight of my day.
Lurleen: Now I'm just hoping one of those beer bottles being thrown at my head will knock me out of this funk.
Cletus: Less talkin', more singin'!
Lurleen: I'm too depressed to sing the blues. If only there was an even sadder way to express myself.
Homer: How about poetry?
Homer: Those guys seem pretty depressed. Probably from their lack of job prospects and general public disrespect.
Lurleen: Nah, Jewel has said all there needs to be said in verse.
Lurleen: Hey, what about grunge music? It makes you frown just by saying it.
Lurleen: Grunge. Grunge. Makes me feel like an unclean toilet.
Homer: I guess the nineties are having a comeback.
Homer: Plus you can keep wearing all your plaid shirts from your country days.
Lurleen: Then it's settled. I'm starting a grunge band. But first I need to find some band mates.
Cletus: How you fixin' to do that?
Lurleen: Simple – Craigslist.
Lurleen: I'll post an ad for a barbecue pit, buy it, throw a barbecue, and hope some potential band mates show up.
Lurleen: It's fool proof!

Task: Build Barbecue Pit
Task: Make Lurleen Barbecue Some Roadkill (24h, Barbecue Pit)

Homer: Boy, Lurleen. This is some of the best grilled mystery meat I've ever had.
Homer: And I buy my meat from the Kwik-E-Mart.
Apu: Our meat is 100% accounted for, 90% of the time.
Lurleen: Homer, it's so good to see you. With this new band starting up, it would be great to have a manager again.
Homer: I DO have experience in both the fields of band management and grunge music.
Lurleen: Wow! You are as qualified as you are handsome.
Lurleen: Are you sure Marge will be OK with it?
Homer: Of COURSE she'll be OK with it.
Homer: Long hours on the road, tearful soulful music driving us together... what could she possibly complain about?
Marge: Grrrrr...
Smithers: I'd love to play percussion in your ensemble, as long as it doesn't interfere with my job. I work 9am to 9am.
Willie: Room for one more? I've always had a wee soft spot for grunge.
Willie: Willie ain't an open book.
Homer: Sounds like you've got yourself a band! I'm so happy!
Homer: But you're also out of potato salad, so I don't really know how to feel.

Country on the Inside Pt. 2

After tapping on Homer's exclamation mark:
Homer: Grunge band? Check.
Homer: Ace manager? Check.
Homer: Sexy lead singer? Check.
Homer: Franz Kafka's nationality? Czech!
Lurleen: So what do we do now, Homer?
Homer: First order of business – free beer at the Beer-N-Brawl!
Lurleen: And the band will play?
Homer: Oh, right. You should probably play a show as well. I'm sure we can squeeze you in somewhere.

Task: Make Lurleen Perform a Gig (12h, Beer-N-Brawl)
Task: Make Springfielders Drink at Beer-N-Brawl (x10) (6h, Beer-N-Brawl)

Homer: Great news – I've brought your band into the twenty first century!
Lurleen: With what? A social media campaign? ViewTube videos? Viral marketing?
Homer: Even better. I strapped a megaphone to the roof of my car.
Homer: Listen up! Everyone get to the Beer-N-Brawl for free beer!
Lurleen: Uh, and to listen to my new grunge band: Forever Alone!
Homer: Please don't interrupt me when I'm megaphoning.
Homer: Free beer!

Country on the Inside Pt. 3

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark:
Marge: Homer, I don't want to seem like the jealous wife –
Marge: But please stop spending time with women other than me.
Homer: Is this about Princess Kashmir and her proposed blimp trip?
Marge: What? No!
Homer: Well then forget I said that.
Homer: Also, on an unrelated note, do you have any spare helium or hydrogen?
Marge: It's about Lurleen – I don't want you hanging around with that trollop.
Homer: Marge, there's nothing to be afraid of.
Homer: It's just me, music, women, money, endless booze, and a live-like-there's-no-tomorrow attitude.
Marge: If you won't listen to reason, I'll have to confront Lurleen directly…by writing an anonymous article that attacks her character.
Homer: Mention that there's free beer at the Beer-N-Brawl.

Task: Make Marge Write a Smear Article (24h, Simpsons House)

Lurleen: This article in Smear magazine says my songs were stolen from Sadgasm!
Homer: Hey, that's my old band!
Homer: I didn't know anyone still remembered us.
Homer: No one did on the VH1 special "Try Not To Remember The 1990's".
Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman ambushing you live from a bush. How does it feel to be a fraud?
Lurleen: We're not frauds! We didn't steal ANY songs!
Homer: I dunno, that's not what this article quotes me as saying...
Kent Brockman: Please don't fight without the cameras rolling, otherwise we're just going to make you do it again.
Lurleen: We're not fighting! I didn't do anything wrong.
Kent Brockman: That's what they all say. But then we edit, edit, edit and bingo: guilty confession!

Country on the Inside Pt. 4

After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark:
Marge: That article was supposed to make Lurleen LESS popular.
Marge: Now the press is all over her and there's talk of a Sadgasm reunion tour.
Marge: I need a stiff drink! One cranberry juice please.
Marge: Homer can't wear flannel nowadays! Whenever he lies down, ants attack him thinking he's a picnic blanket.
Moe: Could also be the bits of sandwich he's always got stuck to his cheeks.
Moe: God I miss Homer.
Moe: Without those sandwich bits, the rats have started to go after the smaller customers.
Moe: I lost three kids with fake IDs that way.
Marge: Well, if the printed page didn't destroy her career, what will?
Moe: You're thinking too small! We need to make a slanderous documentary that exposes all of Lurleen Lumpkins's dark secrets.
Moe: I've been going through her trash so I know a few of them already.
Marge: But we just came up with this idea now! How did you know to start going through her trash?
Moe: Look, do you want Lurleen's dark secrets or not?
Marge: I want them. I want them strewn all over town like dirty laundry.
Marge: Which reminds me I've got a flannel shirt covered in ants I have to wash.

Task: Make Moe do a Slanderous Documentary on Lurleen (1d 12h, Channel 6)
Task: Make Marge Do a Load of Laundry (1d 12h, Simpsons Home)

Homer: Wow. I had no idea you had such a dark and twisted past, Lurleen!
Lurleen: I do not! That movie was full of lies and slander!
Lurleen: It's like Hollywood doesn't have any respect for the truth!
Cletus: You take that back about Hollywood. My cousin was the pig from Babe.
Lurleen: Homer, that bit about my previous managers all dying of mysterious causes was completely false.
Lurleen: I just marry them and then they leave me.
Lurleen: By way of coffin.
Lurleen: You have to believe me.
Homer: I don't know. That movie might not have had facts, or accurate sources, or evidence, but it did have a CG robot!

Country on the Inside Pt. 5

After tapping on Lurleen's exclamation mark:
Lurleen: This grunge business isn't getting me out of my depression like I thought it would.
Lurleen: Apparently being sad all the time doesn't make you happy.
Lurleen: I miss the country lifestyle – the cowboy boots hiding switch blades, the big trucks, the starry skies, the women with large hairdos hiding switchblades.
Homer: But you're a grunge natural!
Homer: It's like every crowd's energy is lower than the last.
Lurleen: I can't live like this.
Lurleen: I need open air, belt buckles in the shape of states, and jello being counted as a salad.
Lurleen: I'm going back to singing country songs all alone.
Homer: Does that mean no more free beer at the Beer -N- Brawl...?
Homer: I quit!

Task: Make Lurleen Play Country Guitar (12h)

Marge: I'm sorry Lurleen. I realize now that I was just being a jealous housewife.
Marge: I spread all those lies so that you'd fall from grace.
Lurleen: Oh, your jealousy was very much justified. I made several passes at Homer, but he didn't understand a single one of them.
Homer: She kept wanting me to go back to her hotel room, but why eat out of a mini-fridge when you can eat out of a normal fridge?
Lurleen: I guess I lost a man I never had, and a career I never fully understood. I also lost thirty-five cents the other day.
Marge: Lurleen, that's the makings of a great country song!
Lurleen: About the thirty-five cents? I know.
Marge: Well, is there anything we can do to help?
Lurleen: Buy my CD?
Marge: Ummm… no.
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