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Unsolicited Friend Requests

Prev1345
i respect fellow forum members requests and clearly if it says PM me for an add of course ill send a PM to add.
right now my friends list is full but i may do a cleaning of friends who dont play again to make room for new neighbors.

Replies

  • suetopia
    4228 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    Hello neighbour!

    This seems tohappen a lot to forum regulars (even when they specifically state that they are not looking or would like a pm). When I still had space, I was constantly getting random requests with no pm - even though I asked for a pm in my sig. I still get a lot of random requests even though it says I'm full.

    Don't feel badly turning people away - if they have not PMd you like you asked, then you have nothing to feel guilty about. There are plenty of opportunities for people to find neighbours (the add me thread stickied to the top of this sub forum, a whole sub forum dedicated to Finding Friends, participating in conversations here and meeting new people (who eventually become your neighbour - like we did :D ), and if you decline they can do those things to build their neighbourhood! :D
  • mrsoctober12
    361 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    This doesn't sound petty at all! You have brought up some interesting points. I too hate saying no and my friends list is full. I will not turn down a random friend request, but I will not accept them until I have a nieghbor that hasn't played in a month. If those people are willing to wait I will eventually accept them but it bothers me to see that I have a request all that time.
  • izabellatrix
    1612 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    Yup, I get them too, despite my "Got 100 Friends" badge and the message in my signature. I don't mind that much though, since I only get a couple a week, and I usually delete about 1 friend a week, so it's pretty convenient. I'll just delete a person, add a person, delete the other requests, and repeat.
    Joined: May 2014 • Level: 563 • Favourite Characters: Lisa & Ralph
  • tdmdksk389
    350 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    No, it is not petty at all and you shouldn't feel guilty.
    I find it very rude that people will friend request you without sending you a PM as you requested.
    As Suetopia said there are tons of people who post on the forum looking for friend requests.
  • Chivalrous42
    417 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    This is probably going to sound petty. And I apologize if it does. But I'm amazed that, even though I specifically ask to be PM'd prior to a friend request, I still get them, regardless.

    Sounds like how every woman I know describes Internet dating. Their profile specifically says stuff like, "Only email me if you're 25-40 years old and live in the same city as me," and they constantly get emails from 60 year olds 3000 miles away. :lol:
  • brickevand408
    1822 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    No petty at all dear neighbor, I always feel bad to but people have to read, no PM ? = decline, other case I check on my neighbors who is inactive for weeks or is not active on events (if events require help from neighbors) someone who buy all things, no prob for me but useless on events I letting them go and accept new neighbors (I first ask on PM why they dont help)

    So dont feel bad dear neighbor :P
  • brogames111
    739 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    No, Emy, not petty at all! Even if I were to leave random requests as possible backups for friends who had stopped playing, I am then unable to add a friend of my choosing until the random requests have been deleted. My rationale is that they most likely got my name from reading in my signature that I will try to make room for forum regulars; where I clearly ask that I be PM'd first! Which, let me add is how we became friends! :-D
  • emymarek721
    616 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    I have always said that I am so lucky to have such wonderful neighboreenos, and this thread proves that!! :-D :-D I want to show you all off to the world!! :mrgreen:

    And thank you to my new forum friends. I meet the NICEST people on here!! ... (Even though I'm not exactly on the prowl for a date. :wink: *cough* moarku *cough* :lol: )

    Thank you all for "listening" and letting me know that I'm not being petty. AND that some of you have experienced similar situations. I really appreciate that! :-)
  • emymarek721
    616 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    OMG!!!!!

    I just got SIX NEW friend requests!!

    I think a few people are playing a trick on me. I NEVER get that many in one day.

    Smartalecks... :P

    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
  • joniferous
    511 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    If it says PM first or list full or similar I won't randomly add, it's simple courtesy.
    However if I've seen them on the forum and like the cut of their jib, but there's no sig info or anything I'll just add, but I'm willing to wait too if they are full but haven't mentioned it, or leave it if they don't want to add!
    But I get random adds a fair bit, and I quite like it, it makes me feel special :lol: p
    Though I completely understand why random adds can be Iirritating for others or just simply don't like or want them!
  • tilycoclem
    272 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    No petty at all dear neighbor, I always feel bad to but people have to read, no PM ? = decline, other case I check on my neighbors who is inactive for weeks or is not active on events (if events require help from neighbors) someone who buy all things, no prob for me but useless on events I letting them go and accept new neighbors (I first ask on PM why they dont help)

    So dont feel bad dear neighbor :P

    Yes - one of my neighbors (that I thought would be a really great add to my list) had been inactive in visiting me SO often that I decided to keep track. That particular neighbor only visited 48 times in 10 months. During those 10 months, I visited them nearly everyday - but it was not recirprocated! Finally, I got fed up with being ignored by that person - especially during events, so I finally deleted them! Yes, I felt bad for a moment, but I just really wanted people on my list that care about visiting all their friends.
    Truth be told - don't feel bad. :)
  • velinadelinis
    2093 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    Not petty. Once your friends list is full and active you really want to just keep the few spaces that come up for someone here.
    All my forumers make for fantastic neighbors. Whenever I get a new request I have to delete someone. At the moment I cannot think of a friend that needs replacing. I don't want the random requests but I gave up putting it in my sig as it didn't stop it.
  • baddazoner
    1006 posts
    edited April 2015
    people just don't care most of those requests are from people who just come onto the forum grab a few names and send requests

    they don't read signatures saying pm first.. it won't ever stop you just have to keep denying them or making room for them if other friends are inactive
  • BeLikeTheDude
    419 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    Believe it or not, there are a lot of people who don't speak forum acronym and don't even know what a PM is. You prefer to be requested at night only? Ok done
    Senior Moderator (for 25 minutes on Sept 23 2016)
  • emymarek721
    616 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    tilycoclem wrote:
    No petty at all dear neighbor, I always feel bad to but people have to read, no PM ? = decline, other case I check on my neighbors who is inactive for weeks or is not active on events (if events require help from neighbors) someone who buy all things, no prob for me but useless on events I letting them go and accept new neighbors (I first ask on PM why they dont help)

    So dont feel bad dear neighbor :P

    Yes - one of my neighbors (that I thought would be a really great add to my list) had been inactive in visiting me SO often that I decided to keep track. That particular neighbor only visited 48 times in 10 months. During those 10 months, I visited them nearly everyday - but it was not recirprocated! Finally, I got fed up with being ignored by that person - especially during events, so I finally deleted them! Yes, I felt bad for a moment, but I just really wanted people on my list that care about visiting all their friends.
    Truth be told - don't feel bad. :)

    That's too bad, Tilycoclem. I had a period of MANY months when a game update locked me out of my neighborhood, which was incredibly frustrating. Every so often, I'd manage a few visits... But then the game would glitch and I'd get locked out again. (I did play everyday that my game would allow me, which was almost every single day, and I made sure to clear my town so that my friends had something to tap, in case they visited everyday! It was the best I could do, under the circumstances! But I wanted to do something for my neighbors, even if I couldn't visit.) I used to post in every thread that mentioned having the same problem, and in Bugs and Issues, and even started a ticket with EA, which did nothing. I even used the insurance on my Kindle and had it replaced, thinking it was damaged, but it didn't help. (MANY people were locked out of their games at that time... some even worse than me. They couldn't turn it on at all!) It didn't get fixed, completely, until sometime after Christmas. But at least I know I wasn't the only one. Thankfully, once they fixed the bug, I was able to play on a regular basis. I lost some neighbors, unfortunately, but what can you do? It is what it is. At least now I'm back to having fun again. It was a FRUSTRATING time! I had a few neighbors who were wondering what happened to me, so they wrote to me to ask me what was going on, even though they had plenty to tap on in my town. Thankfully, the majority of my neighbors were patient and understanding. (Which is why I feel so lucky to have them. They're awesome!!) But again... it happens. I don't keep track of my neighbors, simply because I understand that things happen, people go on vacations, they get sick, or have a life. If weeks go by and they don't play AT ALL, that's different. (I waited 2 months for a friend who I used to write to on ocassion, but she disappeared! And even stopped going to forums.) But I have some neighbors who only really visit during events. No biggie! I, personally, don't like losing neighbors, especially ones that I've talked to and enjoyed, because I value friendships no matter how big or small, so much more than the game, itself. Plus, I try to be as understanding as possible. This is a game, and sometimes it experiences some significant problems. I'm sorry you felt that your friend didn't care. I'd be willing to bet that that wasn't the case, at all. And I'd bet that, if you had contacted that person, they probably had no idea you felt that way, but would've loved the chance to explain. (If you were still visiting for all those months, and had things to tap on everyday, then obviously your friend was playing.) I'd bet that friend probably cared... even if you didn't. :)
  • AARONRTD
    1805 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    You don't have to be on this forum to invite anyone, you can just randomly invite thtrough origin ingame.
  • emymarek721
    616 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    Believe it or not, there are a lot of people who don't speak forum acronym and don't even know what a PM is. You prefer to be requested at night only? Ok done

    LOL! That's too funny!! Okay, I'll change it to 'send me a private message' and see if that helps. :lol:
  • johncolombo
    11497 posts Senior Moderator
    edited April 2015
    I get 2-3 a day
    :(
    Volunteer EA Forum Senior Moderator/Hero EA Answers HQ
  • Annathewicked
    4714 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    Believe it or not, there are a lot of people who don't speak forum acronym and don't even know what a PM is. You prefer to be requested at night only? Ok done

    Hahaha!
    Honestly, I think a lot of friend surfers just get on and look for active people posting or high number of post counts and send them requests.
    I too removed the suggestion to pm me off my sig, it didn't help having it there and gave me the reason to be annoyed when it was ignored...... Random requests are a fact of life in this game- sometimes more, sometimes less, but there
    if you remove the suggestion to pm you- you may find it irks you less like I did, Cuz it's requests are gonna happen
    PM me- I DO need Good Neighboreenos currently
  • brickevand408
    1822 posts Member
    edited April 2015
    @emymarek721

    I think you are one of my first forumneighbor(s), over two years I think, something like that?

    And thank you to my new forum friends. I meet the NICEST people on here!! ... (Even though I'm not exactly on the prowl for a date. *cough* moarku *cough* )

    No? Hahahah joking, have 1 wife more than enough :mrgreen:
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