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Winter 2016: Act 2 and Happy New... Beer? Walkthrough

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LPNintendoITA
11382 posts Member
edited December 2016
Like A B.O.S

Auto starts on December 18th if Yule Love It! Pt. 3 was triggered on Act 1

Lisa: I think we need to mix up our offerings to the gods. I was thinking we could start collecting milk...
Willie: Milk? MILK? I'm not going ta give a bunch of raving, bloodthirsty Pagan gods milk.
Lisa: At least it's historically accurate.
Willie: So's dying slow from ptomaine poisoning, and nobody wants to do that, either! Now go to the library and fetch me the Book of Shadows.
Willie: Inside this book, first published by an English dude in the 1950s, we will find the most ancient secrets of Pagan magic.
Willie: If Willie's going Pagan, Willie's going FULL Pagan.

Task: Reach Level 12 and Build the Springfield Library
Task: Make Lisa Check Out the Restricted Section
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Library

Lisa: This Book of Shadows is just a collection of creepy, witchy nonsense.
Willie: So? EVERY book is a collection of creepy, witchy nonsense. What with all them words, and them strange symbols...
Lisa: Willie... you CAN read, right?
Willie: Aye! Unless it's in-game dialog. No real man reads in-game dialog.

Yule Love It! Pt. 3

Auto starts on December 18th if Yule Love It! Pt. 3 wasn't triggered on Act 1

Lisa: Here's a twist on Christmas: instead of exchanging presents, we'll offer Pagan-style gifts to the gods!
Ned: It's GOD, not GODS! One! And he's not exactly keen on sharing the stage.
Ned: Seriously, “no other gods but me” is, like, in his top ten turn-offs.
Lisa: Now then, typical Pagan gifts to the gods were wine, or herbs, or grain--
Willie: Oh, happy day! We're to run around collecting grain? What a fun update this will be!
Lisa: At least it's historically accurate.
Willie: …So's dying slow from ptomaine poisoning, and nobody wants to do that, either! Now go to the library and fetch me the Book of Shadows.
Willie: If Willie's going Pagan, Willie's going FULL Pagan.

Task: Reach Level 12 and Build the Springfield Library
Task: Make Lisa Check Out the Restricted Section
Time: 6s
Location: Springfield Library

Lisa: This Book of Shadows is just a collection of creepy, witchy nonsense.
Willie: So? EVERY book is a collection of creepy, witchy nonsense. What with all them words, and them strange symbols...
Lisa: Willie... you CAN read, right?
Willie: Aye! Unless it's in-game dialog. No real man reads in-game dialog.

A Happy Meal (Act 1 completed) / Yule Love It! Pt. 4 (Act 1 not completed)

Auto starts

Satyr Willie: All right, according to the Book of Shadows, some gods like to be offered human fingers in tribute.
Moe: Now THAT'S a god Moe can get behind. All this modern love and forgiveness, blech! I know if I was a deity, I wouldn't forgive nobody nothing.
Lisa: Can we have ONE town-wide festival that doesn't involve gruesome acts of violence?
Moe: I got some CHICKEN fingers in the freezer. Maybe them old gods don't know the difference.
Homer: Stupid old gods. What rubes.

Task: Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Homer Binge on Chicken Fingers
Time: 6s
Location: Moe's Tavern

Homer: Mmm. These chicken fingers are tasty.
Moe: Hey-hey-hey! Save some for the gods.
Reward: Satyr Willie
unlock_willie_satyr1.png?w=90

I Willie Follow You Into the Dark Pt. 1

Auto starts

Ned: My Christian friends, I have identified the leader of the Pagan heathens!
Lisa: Actually, “Heathenism” is just one branch of Paganism... you don't care, do you?
Ned: I really don't! The first step to defeating my religious enemy is to not understand him!
Ned: Willie! Willie is their leader! He's trying to found a Satanic cult!
Lisa: Satanism has nothing to do with... ugh. Fine. Go nuts. Do what you want.
Rev. Lovejoy: Let's see how these made up religions fare against the proven, scientific power of holy water!

Task: Make Rev. Lovejoy Prepare 50 Gallons of Holy Water
Time: 12h
Location: First Church of Springfield
Task: Make the Anti-Pagans Spray Satyr Willie [x3]
Time: 1h
Location: Willie's Shack
Task: Make Satyr Willie Get Sprayed
Time: 1h
Location: Willie's Shack

Satyr Willie: Augh! Holy water! I'm melting!
Ned: It worked!
Satyr Willie: I'm only joking, ya daft man. Seriously, thanks fer the shower. This shack has no water, and goatskin chaps are not the most odor-resistant garment.
Reward: 10 XP 25 Event Currency

I Willie Follow You Into the Dark Pt. 2

Auto starts

Satyr Willie: Gather ‘round, me minions, as I reveal yet more ancient mysteries of Paganism.
Homer: Tell us, oh great and creepy beardo!
Satyr Willie: Behold! An arcane ritual called... doin' Willie's chores for him.
Satyr Willie: Heh heh!

Task: Make the Pagan Followers Plow the School's Lawn [x8]
Time: 8h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Task: Make Satyr Willie Toss Some Cabers
Time: 8h
Location: Willie's Shack

Moe: Hey Homer! Gimme your snow plower. I need it.
Homer: Ha ha! Trying to do Willie's chores for him so he'll teach you mystical Pagan secrets, eh?
Homer: Well, I already cleared the school lawn. I'm way more Pagan than you'll ever be.
Moe: That's not what I'm doin'!
Moe: Say, you wouldn't happen to have a floor buffer, would you? One that works on elementary school hallways?
Lisa: Don't you all see what Willie is doing? He's taking advantage of you!
Reward: 10 XP 25 Event Currency

I Willie Follow You Into the Dark Pt. 3

Auto starts

Satyr Willie: For our next dive into the mysteries of creation, you'll all have to catch me a squirrel.
Satyr Willie: And not scrawny ones. Big fat ones. The eatin' kind.
Homer: Eww. Who eats squirrels?
Satyr Willie: DO YOU WANT TO LEARN THE TWELVE NAMES OF THE GODDESS OR NOT?
Homer: Yes, your horned awfulness. Coming right up!

Task: Make the Pagan Followers Hunt Squirrels [x8]
Time: 8h
Location: Cletus's Farm
Task: Make Satyr Willie Take a Nap
Time: 8h
Location: Willie's Shack

Homer: Here's your squirrel, sir!
Satyr Willie: Good work. Now I must go into my shack and, er, commune with the spirits.
Satyr Willie: If you smell a smell that smells like roast squirrel, it's not that. It's what spirit-communing smells like.
Homer: So wise...
System Message: What made-up Pagan traditions will Willie think of to keep his followers? Find out on December 21st!
System Message: Meanwhile, keep making offerings to the Pagan gods, catching the gnome and tapping Pagans to unlock more cool prizes!
Reward: 10 XP 25 Event Currency

No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 1

Auto starts on December 21st

Homer: Oh, great Satyr! We have performed all your chores. Now we ask you to reveal the esoteric wisdom of Paganism!
Satyr Willie: Oh, uh... okay, here goes. Followers, the gods demand a service of you!
Moe: Yes, yes?
Satyr Willie: You all must, uh... act normal! Just, you know, do your thing! Walk around town for a while!
Homer: Wait, what?
Satyr Willie: Yeah, they want us all to do normal-type stuff until I can think of something else. THE GODS COMMAND IT!
Homer: Well, uh, okay...

Task: Make the Pagan Followers Do Normal Things [x5]
Time: 4h
Location: Brown House
Willy: Make Satyr Willie Run Naked In the Halls
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary

Skinner: WILLIE!! Why are you running through my hallways naked?
Satyr Willie: Get lost ye suit wearing softie! I do this every weekend.
Reward: 10 XP 25 Event Currency

No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 2

Auto starts

Satyr Willie: My faithful Pagans! Now the gods command that we feast!
Moe: Are you sure you ain't just making this up as you go? What's the occasion?
Satyr Willie: Uh, the Feast of... the Advent of... the Legitimate Pagan Holiday!
Homer: Hmm, shaky. But if I'm going to be distracted with anything, might as well be food!

Task: Make the Pagans Binge on Food [x8]
Time: 8h
Location: Willie's Shack

Homer: We just ate squirrel, didn't we?
Satyr Willie: Would you believe small, hairy, four-legged, bushy-tailed chickens?
Homer: Maybe. I'd have to try one more to be sure.
Reward: 10 XP 25 Event Currency

No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 3

Auto starts

Moe: Well, that was the most horrible thing I've ever eaten. And coming from me, that means something.
Homer: So is that all Paganism is? Chores and broiled rodent? I'm starting to miss Christmas.
Satyr Willie: Not so fast! Now the best part of Paganism, the gift exchange!

Task: Make the Pagans Exchange Gifts [x5]
Time: 8h
Location: Willie's Shack

Satyr Willie: So how do ye like yer gifts?
Moe: Well, I wanted a Roomba. But I suppose a crude doll made of bones isn't too sucky.
Homer: I'd give anything for an awesome doll. All I got was a spell to silence my enemies.
Ned: ...
Homer: Pretty cool, I guess. Still woulda liked a doll.
Reward: 10 XP 25 Event Currency

No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 4

Auto starts

Rev. Lovejoy: Well, well, well. Why so down, “Pagans?” A tad underwhelmed by your holiday gift haul?
Rev. Lovejoy: Us Christians are simply drowning in gifts right now. DROWNING.
Rev. Lovejoy: But I won't gloat. All I want to do is tell you a little story.
Rev. Lovejoy: The REAL story of Christmas!

Task: Make Rev. Lovejoy Preach the Real Story of Christmas
Time: 12h
Location: First Church of Springfield

Rev. Lovejoy: And the Angel said: “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news that will be a great joy to all the people.”
Rev. Lovejoy: And then he explained the importance of giving lavish gifts at Christmastime.
Rev. Lovejoy: Yea, even unto the point of running up a hefty credit card bill. We can worry about that stuff in January, he said.
Ned: That's stretching scripture a wee bit, don't you think?
Rev. Lovejoy: Desperate times, Ned. Just need to get butts back in pews. We'll straighten ‘em out later.
Moe: I like Churchy's story way better than Goat Man's! Who's with me?
Reward: 10 XP 25 Event Currency

No Pain, No Pagain Pt. 5

Auto starts

Bart: Springfielders! It's me, Jesus!
Homer: Wow. THE Jebus?
Bart: I command you to celebrate Christmas! There's a new video game console out. Very nice! Pick one up or die!
Rev. Lovejoy: Cool it, Bart. I've already hooked these fish. You'll let them wriggle off!
Bart: I'm not here for you, Rev. I want that console!
Rev. Lovejoy: Fine. If your folks don't get it for you, the church will. Now beat it!
Bart: Okay. Later losers! Jesus is Audi 5000!

Task: Make the Springfielders Embrace Commercialism Again [x10]
Time: 8h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart

Milhouse: Wow! I really didn't think we could pull that off.
God: Bart, that was blasphemous. You are not my son...
Bart: You sound just like Homer...
Bart: Don't worry big man, I'll never do it again. That beard is really itchy.
Milhouse: I'm glad they fell for it though. Now we'll get some decent Christmas presents instead of this Pagan crap.
Bart: You're right, now let's see what we got!
Milhouse: Aww, I got the red part of a candy cane...
Reward: 10 XP 25 Event Currency

Happy New... Beer?

Auto starts on December 30th

Grampa: I'm not wearing a costume!
Homer: You will!
Grampa: Everyone will laugh at me!
Homer: A. They already laugh at you; and B. Babies and oldies look so cute when you dress them up!
Homer: And really, what else do those two groups have to offer the world?

Task: Make Grampa Celebrate New Years
Time: 4h

Homer: Who's my adorable, senile little guy? You is! Yes you is!
System Message: Happy New Year from the the Simpsons: Tapped Out!
Reward: New Year's Ball (if not owned)
newyearsball_menu.png?w=56
Post edited by LPNintendoITA on

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