CG: Simpsfeld Sign Up (FULL)
It’s a beautifully sunny day in Springfield. The family is sitting down watching Seinfeld.
“I never understand this show’s popularity,” Homer whines. “There are never any explosions.”
“Dad,” Lisa begins to chime in, “the show’s popularity stems from its supposedly being about nothing. Plus, I kind of like Elaine. She seems like the epitome of a strong woman.”
“Oh honey, daddy doesn’t care about what these characters are doing. Daddy just wants to see more things blow up.”
Lisa, now annoyed and not wanting to finish the episode, decides to go outside and get the mail.
“Let’s see: lawyer fee for Bart, Better Homes and Gardens magazine for mom. Oh, what’s this?”
Lisa inspects the plain white envelope. No address or identification of any kind. Lisa is perplexed as she re-enters the Simpson house and opens the envelope.
“Oh my gosh, look at this!” She exclaims excitedly. “It’s a letter with 5 tickets to New York City!”
“Why the **** would I want to go to New York City?” Bart Huffs, “I can get mugged here.”
“The letter explains that the New York television executives are looking for the newest spinoff television series and, since we’re one of the oldest shows still in syndication, they want us to partner up and create a new spinoff with the cast of Seinfeld!”
“Oldest?” Bart replies. “By far, Maggie should be celebrating her 30th birthday any month now.”
“Oh Homey,” Marge squeals, “this will be so much fun, but Bart just reminded me. What about Maggie? We can’t take her with us to New York. What will we do?”
“Well, the dog could watch her,” Homer replies. “Or I guess Patty and Selma can.”
“What about the 5th ticket, then?” Lisa asks with a concerned look.
All of a sudden, Ned Flanders walks by the living room window and waves to the family.
“Hi diddly- ho, neighboreenos!” Ned happily replies. “Did I hear that you’re going to New York City? Golly, I’ve never been there myself.” Do you know they have a basketball team named after ladies’ underwear? Just shameful, if ya ask me! The only bloomers I care to discuss are my roses.”
Marge, giving as usual, suddenly has a thought.
“Ned,” she begins, “would you like to come to New York with us and create a new television show with the cast of Seinfeld?”
“Seinfeld!?” Ned asks, shocked, “Such a naughty show. They openly talk about adult themes and sub-diddly-ubjects. Nosirreebob. Although, it might be my way to bring some morality to such an adult themed show!”
“It’s settled, then,” Marge exclaims. “The Simpsons…”
“And Ned”, Homer grumbles under his breath.
“Are going to New York City!”
In that same moment in Monk’s Café AT New York City, Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer are eating lunch.
“I’m telling you, Jerry,” Kramer begins, “people will love my new edible book. Ooh, look at me, I just read a fantastic book, but now I’m so hungry and I missed lunch. No worries, I can just eat the page I just read.”
“You just can’t seem to run out of stupid ideas, can you?” Jerry replies. “Anyways, as I was saying, I got a call from some television network saying that they would like to create a new spinoff that has both us and the Simpsons together!”
“GET OUT!” Elaine screams. “I love the Simpsons!”
“That Bart,” George snorts, “He cracks me up!”
“So we’re in agreement then?” Jerry asks. “We’ll all do the show?”
Everyone agrees. Jerry’s smile fades.
“The only issue is that we need a 5th person to join us.”
“I have an idea,” Kramer replies during bites of his mango. “He’s been my buddy just about as long as you, Jerry.”
“You can’t mean”, Jerry asks in disgust.
“I’ll ask Newman when I get home,” Kramer finishes without notice of Jerry's apparent disgust.
“Oh just wonderful!” Jerry replies sarcastically.
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