EA Forums - Banner

Secret Agents: Premium Walkthrough

LPNintendoITA
11544 posts Member
edited April 2017
Act 1

unlock_homer_camerahat.png?w=68
Hat in Hand Pt. 1

Homer starts

Homer: Woo hoo! My spy camera hat is super secret and super handsome!
Marge: Homer, that thing is enormous! I thought I told you to stop ordering useless junk off the internet.
Camera Hat Homer: You did!
Camera Hat Homer: I went foot shopping for this!

Task: Make Camera Hat Homer Collect Footage of His Life
Time: 1h

Hat in Hand Pt. 2

Lisa starts

Lisa: Bart, get out of my room!
Bart: It's not your room anymore! I annexed it after you squealed to mom about my cherry bomb collection!
Lisa: MOM!!
Camera Hat Homer: I got this, Marge!
Marge: Well, look at that. Homie's actually helping out around the house.
Camera Hat Homer: Kid fight-Kid-fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! One is wrong and one is right!

Task: Make Camera Hat Homer Record a Child Fight
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson Home

Hat in Hand Pt. 3

Ned starts

Ned: Um, Homer, I wanted to talk to you about that hat.
Camera Hat Homer: You can't have it! And you can't have the footage I shot of you praying on the potty either!
Ned: Homer! You can't just go around shooting footage of whoever you want without their permission!
Camera Hat Homer: Whaddayou know, Flanders. I'll prove my point at the Kwik-E-Mart. Photo op in aisle three!
Camera Hat Homer: As long as I buy something, Apu has no choice but to tolerate my undercover shenanigans!

Task: Make Camera Hat Homer Videotape Apu at Work
Time: 8h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart

Hat in Hand Pt. 4

Moe starts

Moe: You can't film in here no more, Homer! If the feds get wind of that I make booze outta government cheese, I'm sunk!
Krusty: Yeah! I can't let people know I put my house arrest ankle bracelet on Mr. Teeny!
Camera Hat Homer: Sorry, but this is all part of my artistic vision.
Rev. Lovejoy: Gouge out his vision! Get him!
Camera Hat Homer: AAAHH!!!

Task: Make Camera Hat Homer Seek Safety
Time: 24h
Location: Simpson Home

Hat in Hand Pt. 5

Homer starts

Camera Hat Homer: The nerve of those guys, trying to break my hat and my legs!
Camera Hat Homer: I have everything they've done on tape!
Lisa: Doesn't that also mean you've also got everything you've done since you got that hat?
Camera Hat Homer: Oh... yeah, right... Are disorderly conduct and vandalism felonies?
Lisa: Yes.
Camera Hat Homer: How 'bout in Missouri, Arkansas and Indiana?

Task: Make Camera Hat Homer Delete His Footage
Time: 12h
Location: Simpson Home

volcano-lair.png?w=150unlock_hankscorpio.png?w=84
The Helium-Neon Gas Laser Is Always Greener Pt. 1

Hank Scorpio starts

Hank Scorpio: Sometimes I wonder if the life of an international crime lord is paying off.
Hank Scorpio: How different would it have been if I'd become a teacher? Or a mailman?
Hank Scorpio: Or is it mailperson now? Does it count if it isn't a male person that's the mailperson?
Hank Scorpio: Another mystery to ponder and now's as good a time as any.
Hank Scorpio: It'll be weeks before the contractors fix the climate control in our arctic base and we can get back to work.
Hank Scorpio: Another dilemma -- Fahrenheit or Celsius? Been a Fahrenheit man all my life. Is it too late to change?

Task: Make Hank Scorpio Start a New Business
Time: 8h
Location: Volcano Lair

The Helium-Neon Gas Laser Is Always Greener Pt. 2

Hank Scorpio starts

Hank Scorpio: Starting a legitimate business is more complicated than I thought.
Hank Scorpio: All these regulations, taxes, and hidden surcharges... they scramble my brain. And not the good scramble like how 5th Street Café is actually on 3rd. I don't get it, but I don't need to.
Hank Scorpio: Maybe in the dynamic world of convenient fast food I should start at the bottom and work my way up.
Hank Scorpio: I wonder who I have to assassinate to get a management position?

Task: Make Hank Scorpio Look for Work
Time: 1h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart

The Helium-Neon Gas Laser Is Always Greener Pt. 3

Apu starts

Apu: Welcome to your first day at the Kwik-E-Mart, Mister Scorpio.
Hank Scorpio: It's great to be part of the Kwik-E-Mart family.
Apu: And like family you will work from eight to midnight, be responsible for cleanup, stocking, pricing, security, cleanup again, and Squishee syrup mixing. Bring your own mixing paddle.
Apu: You get one half day off every two weeks, free medical from the First-Aid kit in the back, and a full compliment of benefits.
Apu: Benefits are not complimentary. All of your salary goes to pay for them.

Task: Make Hank Scorpio Train at the Kwik-E-Mart
Time: 12h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart

The Helium-Neon Gas Laser Is Always Greener Pt. 4

Hank Scorpio starts

Hank Scorpio: There are so many health and safety violations here...
Hank Scorpio: I've taken Jailbird's gunfire trying to protect spicy meat snacks. They're good but not bullet in the shoulder good.
Hank Scorpio: I can't let it get me down. What I need is a job in a professional field.
Hank Scorpio: Something that puts me in touch with real people, with real hopes and dreams!

Task: Make Hank Scorpio Become a Wall Street Robber Baron
Time: 4h
Location: Volcano Lair

The Helium-Neon Gas Laser Is Always Greener Pt. 5

Hank Scorpio starts

Hank Scorpio: What have I done?! Wall Street is more horrifying than I could have imagined!
Hank Scorpio: Such ruthlessness. Such heartless, selfish cruelty.
Hank Scorpio: And that's just trying to get to the microwave in the lunch room.
Hank Scorpio: I think it's time to get back to honest, productive work where I can make a real difference in the world.

Task: Make Hank Scorpio Deliver Ultimatum to G8 Nations
Time: 6h
Location: Town Hall

mastermind_bundle_1.png
Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 1

Hank Scorpio starts

Hank Scorpio: Hmn, someone sent me a package. Careful, Hank. It's most likely a deadly explosive device... Uggh, I can't wait. I just love getting things! I'm tearing it open!
Hank Scorpio: "Congratulations Mr. Scorpio, you have been selected as the most dynamic evil villain of the year!"
Hank Scorpio: "We would like to welcome you to the Advanced Council Representative of Nefarious Yearly Machinations!"
Hank Scorpio: This is so exciting! I've never been part of an organized group of supervillains before! Okay, Boy Scouts. But that was more about the bandanas.

Task: Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Conference With A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.
Time: 1h
Location: Volcano Lair

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 2

Hank Scorpio starts

Mastermind Hank Scorpio: What's first on the evil agenda? Manipulate a national economy? Establish supremacy from space? Leak someone's emails to the public?
Mastermind Hank Scorpio: Hmn... I've got a meeting, "Discuss Q2 operational goals and planning"...
Mastermind Hank Scorpio: Maybe they save evil for the afternoons.
Mastermind Hank Scorpio: Wait... MORE meetings?

Task: Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Attend Back-to-Back Meetings
Time: 8h
Location: Volcano Lair

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 3

Hank Scorpio starts

Mastermind Hank Scorpio: Oh, an email from the Council Advisory Board! I can finally get my newest, nefarious plan off the ground!
Mastermind Hank Scorpio: "Council Member 00-08, your proposal entitled "Controlled Moon Orbit Destabilization" has been greenlit for production". Yes!...
Mastermind Hank Scorpio: "Please prepare a detailed cost and manpower assessment and be sure to include a potential operations timeline".
Mastermind Hank Scorpio: "Assuming all required paperwork is in order, your operation will begin as early as... 2025"?

Task: Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Drown in Paperwork
Time: 4h
Location: Volcano Lair

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 4

Hank Scorpio starts

Mastermind Hank Scorpio: All this red tape puts a stranglehold on my moving forward!
Mastermind Hank Scorpio: Writing reports, presenting scheme prospectuses, analyzing data... When do masterminds get to launch actual operations?!
Number 1: I understand your frustration, Hank, but the process works.
Number 1: My organizations numbers have been up for the last three quarters in a row!
Number 1: Although, they're still denying my requests for a Squishee machine in the break room.

Task: Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Crunch the Numbers
Time: 1h
Location: Volcano Lair

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts Pt. 5

Hank Scorpio starts

Mastermind Hank Scorpio: Ladies and gentlemen of A.C.R.O.N.Y.M., by focusing on datamining and analysis, I have discovered the most effective plan to propel Globex to the forefront of the world stage!
Mastermind Hank Scorpio: By the time you leave this meeting, each of your organizations will have been infiltrated and overthrown by my best operatives!
Mastermind Hank Scorpio: It's been wonderful working with you all. If any of you survive the purge, I'd absolutely love to overthrow you all over again!

Task: Make Mastermind Hank Scorpio Overthrow A.C.R.O.N.Y.M.
Time: 12h

Gil Deal

Gil starts

Gil: Hey, can I interest you in three computer nerds who are faster than fiber optic, more powerful than China's Tianhe-2 supercomputer, and able to leap firewalls in a single click?

gil-deal.png?w=300

Offer accepted:
Gil: Woo-hoo! I'm a bonafide broker!
Gil: I make the deal and those nerds do the work! And after signing bonuses and service fees I take home a sweet-
Gil: Hoo-boy... I owe THEM thirty-six dollars.
Gil: Never let computer geeks draw up the contract.

Offer declined:
Gil: No deal? You'll regret that when your gas and electric bill goes to your spam folder...
Gil: ...you don't pay it on time and they cut off your heat and you're taking sink baths at the public library. How did this become about me?

unlock_benjamin.png?w=77unlock_doug.png?w=91unlock_gary.png?w=83
Hack to the Future Pt. 1

Doug starts

Doug: My stupid calculus professor gave me an "A", which would have been an "A+" if he bothered to calculate Pi to more than thirty-two places.
Benjamin: Your GPA just dropped to a 3.9999. Not sure we can hang together anymore.
Doug: The Professor won't change the grade, so that leaves us with only one recourse.
Doug: Gentlemen, we're going rogue!
Gary: Okay, but let's not go too late. I have an orthodontist appointment this afternoon.

Task: Make Benjamin Hack University Test Scores
Time: 4h
Requires: Doug and Gary

Hack to the Future Pt. 2

Gary starts

Gary: We did it! Calculus grade successfully hacked!
Benjamin: I feel peptides activating my body's opiate receptors!
Doug: An endorphin rush! I had one too! I want to feel it again!
Gary: But our test scores are all 100% already.
Benjamin: But our social lives are all zeroes!
Doug: We can hack those too!

Task: Make Benjamin Hack the Ashley Madden Site
Time: 4h
Requires: Doug and Gary

Benjamin: I don't think hacking that dating site was a good idea.
Gary: Because of the ethical quandary?
Benjamin: No, because now we know that 96% of the women on the internet aren't real!
Doug: We have to post our data. It's up to us to save other nerds from falling prey to faux females!

Hack to the Future Pt. 3

Benjami starts

Benjamin: Wow, guys look at these comments! The internet is blowing up!
Doug: They love what we're doing – the first human love I've felt in a long time.
Gary: And they want us to hack more stuff -- news outlets, the government, the Powerball Lottery.
Benjamin: We truly are heroes of the internet community. We owe it to them to fight their battles... always behind the cloak of our online anonymity!
Benjamin: But first, we have a much more important target to take down.

Task: Make Benjamin Hack a Movie Studio Over Nerd Stereotypes
Time: 4h
Requires: Doug and Gary

Hack to the Future Pt. 4

Doug starts

Doug: Um, guys? We've got another 200 friend requests over on Springface...
Benjamin: And more followers on Instaspring and Viewtube than our automated acceptance scripts can handle!
Gary: Half of them want us to undo what the other half is demanding! They're unreasonable... insatiable!
Doug: Our hacking requests have vastly outgrown capacity! What can we do?!
Benjamin: I... I... I'm getting a stress nosebleed!
Doug: That's it! Human maladies engage!

Task: Make Benjamin Get a Random Nosebleed
Time: 1h
Task: Make Doug Use an Asthma Puffer
Time: 1h
Task: Make Gary Use Ear Drops
Time: 1h

Hack to the Future Pt. 5

Gary starts

Gary: I've deleted all our social media accounts and scrubbed the hard drives.
Doug: I've erased all of our internet histories.
Benjamin: From this point forth, Gary, Doug, and Benjamin do not exist...
Benjamin: So choose a superhero avatar and let's get back online!

Task: Make Benjamin Roleplay Online
Time: 12h
Location: Java Server
Task: Make Doug Roleplay Online
Time: 12h
Location: Java Server
Task: Make Gary Roleplay Online
Time: 12h
Location: Java Server

unlock_russcargill.png?w=69
Another Brick in the Firewall Pt. 1

Russ Cargill starts

Russ Cargill: What's with all these ideological groups cropping up all over the place?
Russ Cargill: Most of these jokers get ahead by stomping all over the environment. Well, it's time the E.P.A. stomped back!
Russ Cargill: Ethics be damned! We're going to protect the environment so hard, the Koch brothers will go solar!

Task: Make Russ Cargill Make Back Door Deals
Time: 1h
Location: Springfield Library

Another Brick in the Firewall Pt. 2

Russ Cargill starts

Russ Cargill: Contacts made, money played, my plot engaged... and not one person will have a clue to what's going on.
Bart: I do. And so does everyone sitting near you at the public library.
Russ Cargill: What?!
Bart: You left yourself signed in on the computer, man. There's only forty-six people left on the whole internet who don't know about your secret plans.

Task: Make Russ Cargill Read Up on Basic Internet Security
Time: 1h
Location: Springfield Library

Another Brick in the Firewall Pt. 3

Russ Cargill starts

Russ Cargill: This is a security nightmare!
Russ Cargill: Springface, Viewtube, Instaspring, the E.P.A.'s plans are available to anyone with a functioning clicker finger!
Bart: Villains never learn to keep things to themselves. Today's typical over-sharer posts a thousand things while they're still sitting on the toilet.
Russ Cargill: You again?! How did you get in here?
Bart: Just a heads up, your physical security is as bad as your cyber security.

Task: Make Russ Cargill Lose His Mind
Time: 1h

Another Brick in the Firewall Pt. 4

Russ Cargill starts

Bart: Stop stalking me, man. You know it's not cool for adults to follow kids around, right?
Russ Cargill: But I need your help! I've exposed myself to all kinds of Snap-Chatters and Tweeters who insult me with short misspelled quips!
Russ Cargill: And what the hell is a meme? And how do I stop myself from becoming one?!
Bart: All right, dude, I'll help you out.
Bart: But beware I'm introducing you to everything from pop-up ads, to Viewtube comments, to the darkest, dankest trolls in the business.

Task: Make Russ Cargill Learn the Horrors of Social Media
Time: 1h
Location: Simpson Home

Another Brick in the Firewall Pt. 5

Russ Cargill starts

Russ Cargill: Social media is inspiring... and horrifying... and inspiring!
Russ Cargill: People will believe everything they read... even if it contradicts the thing they just read!
Russ Cargill: I just have to pump out enough fake news to completely obscure the truth.
Russ Cargill: The E.P.A. plans will be so secret, even I won't know the truth from the lies!

Task: Make Russ Cargill Launch "News Entertainment" Websites
Time: 1h
Location: Springfield Library
Post edited by LPNintendoITA on
My Youtube and Twitch / WikiSimpons Current Event Page and Discord

Replies

  • LPNintendoITA
    11544 posts Member
    edited April 2017
    Act 2
    unlock_femmefatale.png?w=58
    Objectification May Be Closer Than It Appears Pt. 1

    Femme Fatale starts

    Femme Fatale: This modern world is so different than I expected.
    Femme Fatale: But then, I was also assured an apocalyptic plan would have ended everything by now...
    Femme Fatale: What does the modern world have to offer a flexible woman who has been patterned after a shallow 1950's man's fantasy?

    Task: Make Femme Fatale Do Deadly Gymnastics
    Time: 4h

    Objectification May Be Closer Than It Appears Pt. 2

    Femme Fatale starts

    Lindsey Naegle: Excuse me, Miss Fatale. I notice you've recently come back onto the social scene. I have a bit of advice.
    Femme Fatale: Please be brief. I'm already in my catsuit and on my way to my high-kick calisthenics class.
    Lindsey Naegle: Have you considered going into real estate sales?
    Lindsey Naegle: Today's woman can flip a house without having to do handsprings to close the deal.
    Lindsey Naegle: Although, I'd mortgage any one of your cartwheels... truly majestic.

    Task: Make Femme Fatale Try Her Hand at Real Estate Sales
    Time: 8h
    Location: Red Blazer Realty

    Objectification May Be Closer Than It Appears Pt. 3

    Femme Fatale starts

    Lindsey Naegle: Femme, darling, sales are fantastic, but clients are saying you're very, very direct... meaning you're very, very scary.
    Femme Fatale: I'm just doing what any strong leader does.
    Femme Fatale: Making hostile demands and dropping people into a shark tank if they fail to comply.

    Task: Make Femme Fatale Break That Glass Ceiling
    Time: 1h
    Location: Red Blazer Realty

    Objectification May Be Closer Than It Appears Pt. 4

    Femme Fatale starts

    Femme Fatale: Lindsey has been irreplaceable in getting me to this level of success. I couldn't have done it without her.
    Femme Fatale: Which is exactly why I must eliminate her!

    Task: Make Femme Fatale Prepare a Trap for Lindsey Naegle
    Time: 4h
    Location: Red Blazer Realty

    Objectification May Be Closer Than It Appears Pt. 5

    Femme Fatale starts

    Lindsey Naegle: Femme, it's so cute that you think you have to destroy me to get ahead.
    Femme Fatale: What? Are you saying I don't have to annihilate my rival to rule the world?
    Lindsey Naegle: Sweetie, that's so old fashioned. We're women, we don't have to euthanize. We can harmonize.
    Lindsey Naegle: It's called being "Frenemies".

    Task: Make Femme Fatale Flirt Deadly
    Time: 1h
    Post edited by LPNintendoITA on
    My Youtube and Twitch / WikiSimpons Current Event Page and Discord
  • LPNintendoITA
    11544 posts Member
    edited April 2017
    Act 3

    Hammer & Sparrow Pt. 1

    Lisa starts

    Lisa: Adil! Have you come back on another exchange program?
    Adil Hoxha: It is more like one-way exchange. How you say... extradition.
    Homer: Oh, you adorable little scamp, with your made-up words. Why don't you join us for dinner?
    Adil Hoxha: You are too kind, Pappa Homer. I am relieved you do not hold my past troubles with your government against me.
    Homer: What's a little light treason between family?

    Task: Make Adil Join the Simpsons for Dinner
    Time: 1h
    Location: Simpson Home
    Task: Make Simpsons Have Family Dinner [x5]
    Time: 1h
    Location: Simpson Home

    Adil Hoxha: Thank you, Mrs. Simpson, for sharing your wanton excess with me. It fills my heart with shame and my belly with hard to digest food.
    Marge: Well, that's the typical American diet.

    Hammer & Sparrow Pt. 2

    Grampa starts

    Grampa: I don't trust that no-good Russkie.
    Lisa: Grampa! Adil is an Albanian refugee. What happened to "give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses"?
    Grampa: We got our fill o' those! Now we need your rich, energetic, few and far between!

    Task: Make Grampa Go on a Rant
    Time: 1h
    Location: Simpson Home
    Task: Make Adil Be Polite and Helpful
    Time: 1h
    Location: Simpson Home

    Grampa: ...and when you made a phone call, your finger hurt from dialing! That's my two cents. Speaking of which, the one cent penny used to be worth two cents…

    Hammer & Sparrow Pt. 3

    Adil Hoxha starts

    Adil Hoxha: Thank you again for your hospitality, Simpsons. I am grateful I was able to see you...
    Adil Hoxha: ...enjoy your last meal.
    Grampa: Last meal?! That's King James Bible talk for he's gonna kill us!
    Homer: Oh Dad, you and your stories: Adil's trying to kill us, the nurses at the Retirement Castle are eating my pudding, my son's cashing my government checks...

    Task: Make Adil Be Inconspicuous
    Time: 1h
    Location: Simpson Home

    Grampa: I'm telling you, I heard what I heard.
    Marge: You can't hear the TV at full volume, but now you're hearing whispers.
    Bart: Maybe it's the grave calling.

    Hammer & Sparrow Pt. 4

    Grampa starts

    Grampa: I may be old, senile, and blind in one eye, but I can still sniff out a rat.
    Jasper: Are we having rat tonight?
    Grampa: Lemon-Rosemary Rat is Thursdays. Right now we gotta figure out what this Mata Hari **** is up to.

    Task: Make Abe Follow Adil
    Time: 8h
    Location: Control Building
    Task: Make Adil Visit the Nuclear Power Plant
    Time: 8h
    Location: Control Building

    Adil Hoxha: This reactor is so unstable – imagine the pure destructive potential!
    Grampa: I knew it, you little kremlin gremlin!
    Lisa: No, Grampa! We're here for a school project on looming environmental disasters.
    Adil Hoxha: It is okay, Lisa. We must respect our elders. They are only here for a short while.
    Grampa: What's that mean? He's planning to kill me!

    Hammer & Sparrow Pt. 5

    Grampa starts

    Grampa: I was so sure I smelled a Jerry, or a Boris... maybe even a Fidel.
    Grampa: What the?! Where's he going with all that electrical whos-a-ma-call-its?

    Task: Make Adil Transmit Coded Messages
    Time: 1h
    Location: Bart's Treehouse or Brown House
    Task: Make Abe Spy on Adil
    Time: 1h
    Location: Bart's Treehouse or Brown House

    Grampa: Call my mommy, the boy's a commie!
    Lisa: Grampa! Were you SPYING on Adil?
    Grampa: ‘Course I was! The boy's an ACTUAL spy! He's redder than a bloody crayon.
    Lisa: We all know that! You can't be so intolerant of other people's beliefs.
    Homer: Yeah, Dad. Just 'cause the little guy wants to bring down our way of life, it doesn't make him a bad kid.
    Post edited by LPNintendoITA on
    My Youtube and Twitch / WikiSimpons Current Event Page and Discord
Sign In or Register to comment.

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!