Class Action Lawsuit - Join Me
I am taking out a class action lawsuit against Global Dynamics, owners of Mom and Pop Hardware, for selling shovels that are blatantly unfit for purpose.
These shovels, sold exclusively at Mom and Pop Hardware in Springfield, are unquestionably the most useless shovels ever manufactured.
- They can only dig down to a very shallow level instead of the three levels at once we need them for
- They can only dig one small square before not only becoming useless but actually disappearing into thin air!
- This results in purchasing more shovels in order to be able to do the job. Over the past few weeks, I have had to make repeated trips to Mom and Pop Hardware every four hours to obtain more of these awful shovels
- If I had a normal, ordinary, decent shovel instead of these terrible disappearing shovels, I would have completed this quest line within a day or two, so it has also been a tremendous waste of my valuable time.
I am therefore suing Global Dynamics for 250 squillion dollars plus damages for knowingly selling these shovels.
If you wish to join me in this lawsuit, please add your name below.
These shovels, sold exclusively at Mom and Pop Hardware in Springfield, are unquestionably the most useless shovels ever manufactured.
- They can only dig down to a very shallow level instead of the three levels at once we need them for
- They can only dig one small square before not only becoming useless but actually disappearing into thin air!
- This results in purchasing more shovels in order to be able to do the job. Over the past few weeks, I have had to make repeated trips to Mom and Pop Hardware every four hours to obtain more of these awful shovels
- If I had a normal, ordinary, decent shovel instead of these terrible disappearing shovels, I would have completed this quest line within a day or two, so it has also been a tremendous waste of my valuable time.
I am therefore suing Global Dynamics for 250 squillion dollars plus damages for knowingly selling these shovels.
If you wish to join me in this lawsuit, please add your name below.
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^ apparently my body is 5 characters too short ^
Me: "Aw, 250 squillion dollars. I wanted a donut."
Brain: "250 squillion dollars can buy many donuts."
Me: "Explain how."
Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."
Me: "Woo-hoo!"
They are asking for the lawsuit to be thrown out and for Mom and Pop Hardware to be compensated for the defamation of their fine copyrighted and trademarked name.
Then Lawyer also had the audacity to question my methods for digging, comparing it to my ability to teach.
However well documented pictures show what happens after consistent use of the disappearing shovels.
The holes created by the shovels in question also have a tendency to refill themselves after a specific depth has been reached, this too has been documented.
Whole lot of holes
Mom and pop were the supplier of millions of free shovels.
Due to the non stop rush of rude people shoving their way through the stores just to get their free shovels, have utterly destroyed all inventory in the store knocking over shelving, broken windows and some employees were trampled.
Mom and pop of Springfield are seeking reparations for damages from all those who opened accounts to get free shovels, at $1.00 for the first shovel and doubled for each additional shovels acquired (1,2,4,8,16 etc....)
If you feel sympathetic for mom and pop you can go to your local store and help clean up, just watch out for the last minute shovel grabbing craziness still going on.