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Class Action Lawsuit - Join Me

74hands
442 posts Member
I am taking out a class action lawsuit against Global Dynamics, owners of Mom and Pop Hardware, for selling shovels that are blatantly unfit for purpose.

These shovels, sold exclusively at Mom and Pop Hardware in Springfield, are unquestionably the most useless shovels ever manufactured.

- They can only dig down to a very shallow level instead of the three levels at once we need them for

- They can only dig one small square before not only becoming useless but actually disappearing into thin air!

- This results in purchasing more shovels in order to be able to do the job. Over the past few weeks, I have had to make repeated trips to Mom and Pop Hardware every four hours to obtain more of these awful shovels

- If I had a normal, ordinary, decent shovel instead of these terrible disappearing shovels, I would have completed this quest line within a day or two, so it has also been a tremendous waste of my valuable time.

I am therefore suing Global Dynamics for 250 squillion dollars plus damages for knowingly selling these shovels.

If you wish to join me in this lawsuit, please add your name below.
My choice for all my Tapped Out news and troll-free friendly chat is the EA officially approved Tapped Out UK :)

Replies

  • doh1886
    916 posts Member
    Tip: By not using them they last longer.
  • Thanks for this! :)
    Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.

  • I was with you until you said dollars. Now if it was for donuts...
  • I'm in!
  • 0Brooders0
    2140 posts Member
    :D :p :D

    ^ apparently my body is 5 characters too short ^
    Be a part of another EA endorsed TSTO fan site at www.tapped-out.co.uk :)
  • I was with you until you said dollars. Now if it was for donuts...

    Me: "Aw, 250 squillion dollars. I wanted a donut."

    Brain: "250 squillion dollars can buy many donuts."

    Me: "Explain how."

    Brain: "Money can be exchanged for goods and services."

    Me: "Woo-hoo!"
  • spyder1952850
    830 posts Member
    edited June 2017
    The lawyers for Global Dynamics released a statement today saying "there is in fact nothing wrong with said shovels, so user must be to blame for improper usage." They went on to say "when used to dig pre dug holes, as this was their intended purpose, the shovels will in fact last a lifetime." They went on to say that "the shovels work fine just as Homer and Skyfinger are seen to use them, that is as something to lean on, just like County/State road crews."
    They are asking for the lawsuit to be thrown out and for Mom and Pop Hardware to be compensated for the defamation of their fine copyrighted and trademarked name.
  • If you need some other shovels...


  • The lawyers for Global Dynamics released a statement today saying "there is in fact nothing wrong with said shovels, so user must be to blame for improper usage." They went on to say "when used to dig pre dug holes, as this was their intended purpose, the shovels will in fact last a lifetime." They went on to say that "the shovels work fine just as Homer and Skyfinger are seen to use them, that is as something to lean on, just like County/State road crews."
    They are asking for the lawsuit to be thrown out and for Mom and Pop Hardware to be compensated for the defamation of their fine copyrighted and
    trademarked name.

    Then Lawyer also had the audacity to question my methods for digging, comparing it to my ability to teach.
    giphy.gif

    However well documented pictures show what happens after consistent use of the disappearing shovels.
    tumblr_n1dbya9oUt1qi1uf9o3_250.gif


    The holes created by the shovels in question also have a tendency to refill themselves after a specific depth has been reached, this too has been documented.
    giphy.gif

    summer-nature-animated-gif-7.gif
  • Rich0913
    1637 posts Member
    giphy.gif
    Whole lot of holes
  • IckabodSchrek
    5919 posts Member
    edited July 2017
    I thought this was a sign up for Photobucket.
    DeesToonTown in Crawl to the Finish #The Grumple Is Free!
  • AARONRTD
    1803 posts Member
    As a representative of mom and pop I submit a counter suit.
    Mom and pop were the supplier of millions of free shovels.
    Due to the non stop rush of rude people shoving their way through the stores just to get their free shovels, have utterly destroyed all inventory in the store knocking over shelving, broken windows and some employees were trampled.
    Mom and pop of Springfield are seeking reparations for damages from all those who opened accounts to get free shovels, at $1.00 for the first shovel and doubled for each additional shovels acquired (1,2,4,8,16 etc....)
    If you feel sympathetic for mom and pop you can go to your local store and help clean up, just watch out for the last minute shovel grabbing craziness still going on.
  • And this is why nothing ever gets done!
    :D
    Nothing as loud as the silentmiaow.
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