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All American Auction: Walkthrough

11472 posts Member
edited November 2019
All American Auction Intro

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Quimby: Welcome to the Turkey Pardoning.
Lenny and Carl: Kill the turkeys! Kill the turkeys!
Moe: Carve them from wattle to tail!
Quimby: Er-uh, I can’t decide which one to pardon. They all look so equally non-cute.
Quimby: So, I’m pardoning every turkey in Springfield! Thanksgiving is hereby cancelled!
Lenny: You can’t do that! The only other holiday in November is Black Friday!
Quimby: Then I hereby declare every day in November: “Black Friday”.
Lenny and Carl: Yay! Quimby! Quimby! Quimby!
Moe: Hmm, every day Black Friday... I can buy up all the discount stuff in town and sell it at a huge markup!

Task: Make Quimby Flip the Holiday Script
Time: 6s
Location: Town Hall
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

All American Auction Pt. 1

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Moe: Come to Moe’s tent at the Swap Meet! I have every shoe from Foot Warehouse, all the fries from Krusty Burger, and last year's model of everything from the Mapple Store.
Homer: I’ll take six orders of fries, and some of those Bluetooth headphones that Marge says forever alter your brain.
Moe: Homer, you shouldn't be buying this stuff at my crazy marked-up prices. I’m mainly selling to out-of-towners.
Homer: Suckers. Hey, are my forty-two dollars' worth of fries ready?
Moe: Every day is Black Friday in Springfield now. The law says everything, even beer, has to be ninety percent off.
Homer: Going to Moe’s! Sorry! Bye!!!
Moe: Wait! I’m not there! I’m... he'll figure it out.

Task: Collect Bid Cards [x200]
Task: Make Moe Sell All of His Merchandise
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Swap Meet, Town Hall or Springfield Elementary
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

All American Auction Pt. 2

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Kent Brockman: After a week of highly discounted sales, a surplus in purchased goods has brought about the triumphant return of the Springfield Swap Meet.
Kirk: While the rest of town looted Sprawl Mart for their “electronics”, I bought two thousand of those How-To-Sell-Things books.
Kirk: It’s the Gold Rush and I own all the shovels...
Comic Book Guy: On the first day of the Black Friday sales, Bart and Milhouse bought all of my comics at the ninety percent off price.
Comic Book Guy: Now I have to go to their booth and pay a premium for their safe return.
Moe: I’ve bought and sold everything. You name it. Washers and dryers, insurance policies, teppanyaki griddles, field hockey equipment, Canadian flags… I can keep going.

Task: Collect Bid Cards [x200]
Task: Make Springfield Swappers Sell Sell Sell [x3]
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Swap Meet
Characters: Moe, Marge, Comic Book Guy, Alice Glick, Herman

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

All American Auction Pt. 3

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Marge: Can you believe people bought all this junk just because it was on sale?
Homer: Marge, I bought another ping-pong table... where should I put it?!
Marge: People have forgotten what Thanksgiving’s all about.
Lisa: Yeah, and we're all without turkeys. What are we doing about, you know, the dinner?
Marge: All the grocery stores have left are packets of powdered cranberry sauce and turkey bouillon cubes...
Homer: *drool* Technically still food.

Task: Collect Bid Cards [x200]
Task: Make Simpsons Family Have a Thanksgiving Meal [x3]
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson Home
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

All American Auction Pt. 4

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Quimby: So you see Homer, even though it makes no sense, everyone's either broke or got nothing left to sell.
Kirk: I still have thousands of How-To-Sell-Things books. You want all of them?
Quimby: But the month of Friday is not over yet! And that's why I’ve called you here. To sing away Springfield’s economic problems... quartet-style.
Homer: You think having people perform will increase sales?
Quimby: It worked for all those large shopping malls in the nineties.
Rev. Lovejoy: But did it really? Did it?

Task: Collect Bid Cards [x200]
Task: Make Be Sharps Reunite [x4]
Time: 4h
Location: Swap Meet Stage
Characters: Homer, Apu, Skinner, Barney

Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

All American Auction Pt. 5

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Quimby: Stop! Stop! Stop! This is a disaster.
Homer: Did people buy too much stuff?
Quimby: No, I didn't realize how much people hate barbershop quartets. People paid me to make you stop!
Quimby: Which I can use to go shopping. Happy Black Friday month!
Ned: This is terrible. Thanksgiving is the fourteenth holiest of American Holidays. It's time for the big man upstairs to step in.

Task: Collect Bid Cards [x200]
Task: Make Ned Summon an American Legend
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Swap Meet
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
Post edited by LPNintendoITA on
My Youtube and Twitch / WikiSimpons Current Event Page and Discord


  • Lumber-sensible Pt. 1

    Ned starts

    Ned: Spread your wisdom of the forest. Turn these people away from discount consumerism and teach them how to be thankful for what they have.
    Paul Bunyan: Eh, hard pass.
    Ned: What?! I thought you’d want to pull this town up by its lumberjack bootstraps.
    Paul Bunyan: Lumberjack bootstraps are the same as regular bootstraps.
    Ned: You’re just gonna stand there and watch while consumerism takes its axe and chops us down?
    Paul Bunyan: Man, you’re really fixated on the lumberjack thing.
    Ned: Just please help us.
    Paul Bunyan: I’m Paul Bunyan, not Saint Paul Bunyan.

    Task: Make Paul Bunyan Play Fetch With Big Blue
    Time: 4h
    Location: Brown House
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Lumber-sensible Pt. 2

    Paul Bunyan starts

    Paul Bunyan: You're my boy, Big Blue! Now fetch this two-hundred-year-old redwood!
    Paul Bunyan: Good boy! I'm glad I turned a mountain into you. It made you twice as strong as an ox.
    Paul Bunyan: Now, let’s get out of this Springfield dump…
    Paul Bunyan: Ooh, a myPhone Pro for seventy-five dollars? That’s a steal!
    Ned: This guy’s the worst!

    Task: Make Paul Bunyan Buy a New Phone
    Time: 4h
    Location: Springfield Swap Meet
    Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP

    Lumber-sensible Pt. 3

    Ned starts

    Ned: Can you please at least talk to the people and convince them that Thanksgiving isn’t about buying stuff?
    Paul Bunyan: *sigh* Fine, but you really are over-indexing on my popularity.
    Paul Bunyan: Hey shoppers, Springfielders, Americans… do you think I should get the new myPhone in Sleek Silver or Astronaut Taupe?
    Paul Bunyan: Also, don't you think you should stop with this Black Friday nonsense and go home to your families on Thanksgiving?
    Moe: Black Friday is an American right. Go back to the lumberjack land you came from!
    Paul Bunyan: Screw it. You're on your own with this one, Ned.

    Task: Make Paul Bunyan Go Nuts in an Arboretum
    Time: 4h
    Location: Springfield Swap Meet
    Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
    My Youtube and Twitch / WikiSimpons Current Event Page and Discord
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