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Favorite quotes from the Simpsons.


  • TwiztidThorn
    2686 posts
    edited October 2013
    I always liked the line from the Simpsons game
    "Jump! Double Jump!"
  • MissGrafin
    806 posts Member
    edited October 2013
    I actually use a fair few quotes on a regular basis.

    In popular order;

    To my Vegetarian sister (I have my parents singing this too): You don't win friends with salad!
    My best Burns impression: Excellent.
    Nearly every time I walk into a room: Hi Everybody! (My name is Nicole, but I go by Nik a lot, so.)
    I say this to my Mom a lot: Sorry Mom, the mob has spoken!
    Every time someone gets mad: Oh, “meltdown”. It’s one of those annoying buzzwords. We prefer to call it an “unrequested fission surplus."
    My best Homer impression: Mmmmm _________. *drools*. (My mum HATES this, all the more reason to do it!)
    When asked to do something, like get Milk: Go out on a ______? Who am I, Charlie Sheen?
    When I get asked if I am hungry: I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's.

    A few randoms I break out every now and then..
    Worst _______ Ever!
    Up and atom!
    Asta la vista, Abe-y.
    You tried your best, and failed miserably, the lesson is, never try.
    I am so smart S-M-R-T!
    I bent my Wookie!
    Alcohol; the cause, and solution to all of life's problems!
    Damn it _____! This isn't rocket science! It's brain surgery!
    We’re going out, _____! If we don’t come back, avenge our deaths!
    My eyes! The goggles do nothing!
    Save me, Jebus!
    Just because I don't care doesn't mean that I don't understand.
    I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.
    Now make like my pants, and split.

    I use this on telemarketers, or people that call continuously looking for various family members. : You'll have to speak up! I'm wearing a towel! (From the sounds of it, this is a lot of people's fave!)

    I wash myself with a rag on a stick ( my sister's fave.)

    I have more, but this is getting pretty lengthy..

  • mwdalton
    11557 posts Member
    edited October 2013
    Seymour, you're an odd fellow, but you steam a fine ham.
  • TheBabyLa
    2 posts
    edited October 2013

    'Ooh they have the internet on computers now'

    'Im sorry but the fingers you have used to dial, are too fat. Try mashing the keypad with your palm'

    'Purple is a fruit' is one we use all the time.
  • Nevermind2x
    16 posts
    edited October 2013
    From "The Springfield Files"

    Scully: We're going to run a few tests. This is a simple lie detector. I'll ask you a few yes or no questions and you just answer truthfully. Do you understand?
    Homer: Yes!
    (Lie detector blows up)
  • mwdalton
    11557 posts Member
    edited October 2013
    Teen at concert 1: Dude, are you being sarcastic?

    Teen at concert 2: I don't even know anymore.

    Lindsay Naegle: Was that sarcasm?

    Frink: Are you kidding? (Looks at Sarcasm Detector) This baby is going off the charts!

    Comic Book Guy: Oh, a Sarcasm Detector, that's a real useful invention!

    (Sarcasm Detector blows up)
  • moonbandito
    70 posts
    edited October 2013
    "That boy ain't right." - Barney
  • Undaunted-001
    2295 posts
    edited October 2013

    Bart Simpson: Yep. There's your answer, fishbulb.
    Homer Simpson: Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. Come on kids, let's go home.
    Bart Simpson: We ARE home.

    Homer Simpson: That was fast.
  • LusciousJohnnyD
    82 posts
    edited October 2013
    Moe:"Hey everybody, I wanna Seymour butts."
  • pignagain
    32 posts
    edited October 2013
    "You know I never liked that little wiener Milhouse"
  • agentkhoff28
    73 posts
    edited October 2013
    Homer singing his version of Tubthumping:
    "I drink a whiskey drink, I drink a shot-a-drink and when I have to pee, I use the kitchen sink, I sing a song that reminds me of a urinating guy"

    Homer singing...sorry can't remember the name of the song:
    "Oh Margie, you came and you found me a turkey, on my vacation away from work-y"
  • brettolmsted
    1095 posts Member
    edited October 2013
    see text below my signature
  • smith3198
    688 posts
    edited October 2013
    I don't know them Word for Word but they were always so funny to me

    1. When homer talks to the insurance adjuster after the fire...
    Insurance adjuster--" what items did you lose in the fire?"
    Homer-- "Well There was the Monet and the Picasso and the...
    Insurance adjuster--"Sir this insurance policy only covers actual losses not made up ones"

    Homer is talking to someone about his hot rod

    I don't remember exactly what the guy said but he's naming things that Homer has in his car
    Like Edelbrock intake ,homer says yep 440 camshaft homer says yep, injector housing and Homer says Yep and the guy says I made that last one up. Homer---I see.....
  • Lovelybella87
    276 posts
    edited October 2013
    So many great lines, but since it's Halloween season here's some from my favorite Treehouse of Horror episode VI.
    * in no particular order
    1. Door bell ring Homer answers
    Homer: Hello, uh yes? Oh if you're looking for that donut of yours Flanders has it. Just go smash open his house.
    Lard lad goes to Flanders house.
    Homer: He came to life, good for him.
    Lard lad returns ( Flanders in the background: Help me Lord!)
    Homer: I told you Flanders has it, or Moe, go kill moe.
    2. Bart having a nightmare with Groundskeeper Willie, Bart wakes up.
    Bart: Ahhhhhhh! On it was only a dream. (Looks at scar) Ahhhhhhh!
    Homer: Bart, is that you?
    Bart: Yes.
    Homer: Take out the garbage.
    3. Willie comes into classroom on fire
    Willie: Ah, please help me.
    P. Skinner: Willie please, Mr. Vanhouten has the floor.
    Willie continues to burn.
    4. After finding out the mystery of Groundskeeper Willie
    Lisa: Bart, don't you know what this means? The next time we fall asleep we could die.
    Grandpa: Welcome to my world. (Falls asleep immediately and starts snoring)
    5. Homer lost in 3D land
    Selma: it's like he disappeared into fat air.
    Patty & Selma laughing
    Homer: Hey, shut up!
    6. R. Lovejoy: Do you see a light Homer?
    Homer: Yes.
    R. Lovejoy: Move into the light my son.
    Homer: Owwwwww
    7. Dr. Hibbert: Homer, this is your physician Dr. Julius Hibbert, can you tell us what it's like in there?
    Homer: Umm, it's like...did anyone see the movie Tron?
    Hibbert: No
    Lisa: No
    Wiggum: No
    Marge: No
    Bart: No
    Patty: No
    Wiggum: No
    Flanders: No
    Selma: No
    Frink: No
    Lovejoy: Not
    Wiggum: Yes...I mean no...no.

    Sorry I know it's a lot. Wanted to catch the moment, lol. This is one of my favorite episodes, and in the spirit of Halloween. :twisted:
  • boris-0514
    72 posts
    edited October 2013
    Always laugh when Bart and Willie talk in the treehouse horror episode

    Bart Simpson: What's haggis?
    Groundskeeper Willy: Boy... you read my thoughts! You've got the Shinning.
    Bart Simpson: You mean "Shining".
    Groundskeeper Willy: Shh! You want to get sued?Now look, boy: if your Dad goes gaga, you just use that... Shin of yours to call me and I'll come a running. But don't be reading my mind between four and five. That's Willy's time!

    Gotta love Willie :D
  • pignagain
    32 posts
    edited October 2013
    Wiggum:"We're taking this horse to the dog food factory"
    Homer:"Good luck getting him to eat dog food"
  • dgwglenn
    722 posts
    edited October 2013
    Homer being interviewed on Kent Brockman's 'Smartline' from 'Homer the vigilante'

    Kent: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charges that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80% while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%.

    Homer: Aw, people can come up with statistics to prove anything Kent. Forty % of all people know that.
  • RynoJordan23
    470 posts Member
    edited October 2013

    Homer: Stupid lack of public urinals!

    And I don't remember the exact quote, but it loved when Ralph called Chalmers "Super Nintendo Chalmers".

    Another is during the Treehouse of Horror episode with Mr. Burns as Dracula:

    Homer: (Whispering) His hair looks sooo gaaaay...

    Burns: I heard that!!!

  • crazykid467
    91 posts
    edited October 2013
    *When Homer finds out Mr. Burns is the head vampire and needs to kill him to free Bart*

    Homer: Kill my boss? Do I dare live the American dream?

    *Same episode, Bart just turned into a vampire and flew in the window to drink Lisa's blood*

    Grandpa: *Running into the room* Quick, we have to kill the boy!
    Marge: How did you know he was a vampire?
    Grandpa: He's a vampire? Ahhhhh! *Runs out the room*
  • Undaunted-001
    2295 posts
    edited October 2013
    Blind Man Willie Witherspoon: I've been playing the saxophone for 30 years. I want you to have it.

    Bleedin' Gums Murphy: This isn't a saxophone. It's an umbrella.

    Blind Man Willie Witherspoon: So I've been playing the umbrella for 30 years? Why didn't anyone ever tell me?

    Bleedin' Gums Murphy: 'Cause we all thought it was funny.

    Blind Man Willie Witherspoon: That's not funny.

    it was on the other day. Made me laugh anyways :lol:
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