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9 years ago
PREMIUM
White Privilege Pt. 1
Auto starts
Hank Scorpio: I call this meeting of the Council of Melodramatic Evil to order. Chairman Kang?
Kang: Our first topic of discussion is branding and the ever-changing face of villainy.
Dr. Colossus: It has come to the council's attention that the methods of some members have become outmoded.
Mr. Burns: You're talking about me and Quetzalcohuatl, aren't you?
Mayan God: I have to admit we were both brought to life in the same year of 12 baktun.
Task: Make Burns Ponder a New Brand of Evil
Time: 4h
Location: Control Building
Mr. Burns: I have it, Smithers! I know how I can update my villainy profile!
Smithers: Becoming a hacker, sir? We'll start by getting you enrolled in a senior's computing class.
Mr. Burns: No, you nitwit! I'm going so old school it will be new school! Straight out of a fairy tale.
Mr. Burns: It begins with a pale, elegant evening gown.
Smithers: Oh sir, my heart's aflutter!
White Privilege Pt. 2
Mr. Burns starts
White Witch Burns: This approach is absolutely perfect, Smithers! I feel like a classic, timeless force of evil!
Smithers: You certainly wear it well, sir.
White Witch Burns: The nuclear plant can be my personal fortress of power. Have the hounds and robots refitted with an ice theme ASAP.
White Witch Burns: And now for an act of evil so fiendish the world will have no choice but cower in my presence!
Task: Make White Witch Burns Forever Postpone Christmas
Time: 4h
Location: Control Building
White Privilege Pt. 3
Mr. Burns starts
White Witch Burns: Fear me, Springfield! I've paralyzed all ground transportation in a frozen grip of eternal winter!
Smithers: Actually, sir, some bicycles are still moving around on the streets.
White Witch Burns: Is that so... that's... disappointing.
White Witch Burns: No matter. I'll freeze individual bikes as they wobble by.
Task: Make White Witch Burns Freeze Ground Transportation
Time: 4h
Location: Control Building
If the user has Martin: Task: Make Martin Ride His Bike Around Town
Time: 8h
White Privilege Pt. 4
Mr. Burns starts
White Witch Burns: I don't know if it's just me, but it seems like a lot more work to freeze the world nowadays than it used to be.
Smithers: You've got to go icier and colder with all the global temperature increases happening now.
White Witch Burns: What bungling fools brought that about?!
Smithers: It took many, sir. You most likely had a hand in it yourself.
White Witch Burns: Excellent! And with a blast of my ice I will turn back the clock on global warming, as if it never happened!
Task: Make White Witch Burns Refute Climate Change
Time: 4h
Location: Control Building
White Privilege Pt. 5
Mr. Burns starts
Smithers: Sir, we need to talk about the evil empire's financials. We're rapidly running out of money.
White Witch Burns: Is money all that matters to you Smithers?! I'm only asking since it matters so much to me.
Smithers: Running an empire of ice doesn't come cheaply. And it's not great for generating income.
Smithers: Selling 99 cent bags of cubed ice isn't generating enough income to cover the costs.
White Witch Burns: Then I must find a new venue to unleash my villainy
White Witch Burns: I've conquered the world of energy and transportation with my ice
White Witch Burns: Maybe it's time to ice the world of medicine!
Task: Make White Witch Burns Raise The Price of $13 Drug by 5000%
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall
No Heavy Petting
Auto starts
Lisa: Ooh, look. The Springfield Animal Shelter!
Lisa: There's finally a home for all the poor animals that wander the streets of Springfield.
Homer: We should see if your Aunt Patty and Selma are in there.
Lisa: Very funny. Can we go and pet all the animals, Dad? Please!
Bart: Yeah come on, Homer I've been craving to smell like a hundred dogs and cats.
Task: Make the Simpsons Visit the Animal Shelter
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Animal Shelter
Characters: Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Maggie
Lisa: This place is great! So many poor animals, with such big eyes and sweet, cuddly, needy
Marge: You're not getting another pet, Lisa!
Bart: This would have been a perfect place for Stampy to hang out and I could come visit him
Quimby: There is an ordinance that prevents elephants in Springfield city facilities.
Info Sign: NO HEAVY PETTING
It's What's Underneath That Counts Pt. 1
Auto starts
Homer: Ooh, fancy. I never knew there were this many variations on the good ol' tidy-whiteys.
Homer: Boxer shorts, boxer briefs, trunks, briefs, jockstraps, thongs, g-strings, and whatever the hell that is.
Homer: This could be just what I need to get Marge's motor running!
Task: Make Homer Buy Fancy Underwear
Time: 4h
Location: Victor's Secret
It's What's Underneath That Counts Pt. 2
Auto starts
Homer: Oh Marge! I got you an extra holiday gift.
Marge: Oh my Homie, are you wearing underwear or my knitting yarn?!
Homer: I got them on but now I can't get them off. Marge, I'm very scared.
Marge: Don't move a muscle. I'm getting your power tools. I'll cut, chop, bore, and torch them off if I have to!
Task: Make Marge Employ Various Power Tools
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House
Requires: Homer
Her Father's Googly Eyes Pt. 1
Sophie Krustofsky starts
Sophie Krustofsky: Dad, can I read you something?
Krusty: Not right now, Sophie. Daddy's not in a listening mood.
Krusty: He's in a headache-after-a-bad-night-of-comedy mood.
Sophie Krustofsky: Maybe I could do something for your headache and then listen to me read?
Krusty: Sure, honey. Why don't you go to school while Daddy takes his hair of the dog medicine.
Task: Make Sophie Krustofsky Go to School
Time: 6h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Krusty: What's this in Sophie's school bag?
Krusty: "I am so happy. He's the sweetest person I have ever met!"
Krusty: Sophie's got a boyfriend?
Krusty: Who is this clown?! It's my duty as a father to make sure my daughter doesn't end up with a bum like me!
Her Father's Googly Eyes Pt. 2
Krusty starts
Krusty: Okay, Skinner, gimme the names of every boy who's ever been within ten feet of my Sophie!
Skinner: I don't think you need to worry. Sophie is a wonderful girl. I wish I'd known her when I was 10.
Skinner: Not that I was ever 10. Mother wanted me to grow up fast. From * feeding to driving her to bingo halls it's all a blur.
Krusty: Well one of your students has been making googly eyes at my little girl and I'm going to put a stop to it!
Task: Make Krusty Threaten Boys at School
Time: 4h
Location: Springfield Elementary
Her Father's Googly Eyes Pt. 3
Krusty starts
Krusty: I couldn't find the pintsize punk puttin' the moves on my Sophie but at least I scared the cafeteria Taco Tuesday outta all those kids.
Krusty: I still gotta find this guy.
Krusty: There's no better way to show your love for your daughter than sneaking around behind her back and violating her trust!
Task: Make Krusty Follow his Daughter
Time: 4h
Requires: Sophie Krustofsky
Her Father's Googly Eyes Pt. 4
Krusty starts
Krusty: Mel, I've figured out who's been trying to steal my little Sophie!
Krusty: I saw her go to the Simpson house. It's that Bert or Buck or whoever that's been out to destroy me forever. He's behind this!
Sideshow Mel: You mean Bart the boy who organized your comeback special and who helped you reconcile with your estranged father?
Sideshow Mel: The same boy who cleared your name after Sideshow Bob framed you for armed robbery?
Krusty: Maybe he's playin' the long con
Krusty: And now he's got me right where he wants me stabbing me in the back by dating my daughter!
Task: Make Krusty Set Up an Ambush
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson Home
Her Father's Googly Eyes Pt. 5
Krusty starts
Krusty: Aha! Busted! You little daughter-stealing delinquent!
Lisa: Huh?
Krusty: Sophie you're here with Lisa? Where's your boyfriend -- under the bed, hiding in a laundry hamper, stuffed in this Malibu Stacy beach house?
Krusty: Or there is no boy how can I be a bad clown AND a bad dad?
Sophie Krustofsky: You could make it up to me by taking me to the park for some daddy-daughter time.
Sophie Krustofsky: And, just so you know, I don't have a boyfriend. That note was a class assignment about my dad.
Krusty: Your dad?! Where is this creep? I'll joy-buzzer him to death oh, wait it's ME!
Sophie Krustofsky: I never forget that. Now piggy-back me to the park!
Task: Make Sophie Krustofsky Hang Out with Dad
Time: 4h
Requires: Krusty
Poles Apart
Auto starts
Otto: Hey, little dude. Wanna come join the fun on the Polar Express?
Bart: I dunno Otto. You can barely control a school bus. Now you're running a monorail to the North Pole?
Otto: Monorail's easier. I can drive it with my eyes closed. Which I plan to do.
Bart: Maybe I will come along I need to see what list Santa's got me on this year. I'm not getting naughty six years in a row!
Task: Make Bart Ride the Monorail
Time: 4h
Location: North Pole Station
Bart: Yo Otto, this train is just going in circles. When are we gonna get to the actual north pole?
Otto: No can do, little dude. My pole privileges have been revoked since the accident.
Bart: But you said to come ride the Polar Express!
Otto: I plowed into Santa and his sleigh. You can't get away with that without making a lot of elf enemies.
Otto: Unfortunately this is as good as it gets until Santa chills out and gets the cool gene.
Giant Snow Globe Gil Deal
Gil starts
Gil: Giant snow globe! Giant snow globe! Step right up and gaze upon the big and awesome, super-stunning giant snow globe!
Gil: Trust, Ol' Gil. I'm not overselling this like the many loads of bunk I've oversold you in the past.
Gil: It's an amazing item, as long as you're not claustrophobic, scared of heights (Like me) and have a backyard as big as the gardens of Versailles.
Gil: It says here that the base is solid gold and handcrafted... and, oh wow. You're not going to believe what's inside.
Gil: A three-story historical 5-bedroom house perched on top of a fancy glacier! Seems shakier than this sales pitch.
Gil: You'll have your own private little ice mountain! Careful when you're exploring. Polar bears love to play soccer with the round heads like you.
Gil: But don't worry. Just hold off a couple of weeks 'til global warming puts a crimp in those critters lives.
Gil: Oh and since the house is teetering right on the edge of a cliff, I'd invest in a good home protection plan and a parachute.
Gil: That snow globe can house five generations of people and pets. That makes quite a Christmas scene.
Gil: Don't do it for me. Do it for the poor little orphans, and the obese, bearded guy up North, and for undernourished elves that can't afford vitamins to grow.
If the user declines:
Gil: I can't blame you for not buying. You're one of those odd-jobs that can't stand to have something wonderful in their life.
If the user accepts:
Gil: Good doing business with you, friend. You won't regret buying from Gil. And if you do, how 'bout buying some "regret" insurance to go along with your purchase?
Snow Global Warming
Auto starts
Mr. Burns: Smithers, what is this?
Smithers: It's a giant snow globe, sir.
Mr. Burns: Snow globes bring back terrible memories Smithers. Childhood, family... eugh!
Mr. Burns: That's why I use them to trap my enemies. I want them to feel my dread.
Smithers: It's festive. People normally love them.
Mr. Burns: Until they're trapped inside one and the water starts rising!
Task: Send Springfielders to the Snow Globe
Time: 2h
Location: Giant Snow Globe
Characters: Ebenezer Burns, White Witch Burns, Ice Prince Martin, Jasper, Snow Monster, Grampa, Marge, Homer, Maggie, Bart, Santa's Little Helper
Starter Pack Gil Deal
Only triggered if you're finished the tutorial and are on Level 5-6.
December 23 at 8am GMT
Gil starts
Homer: Pff. You think youre swimming in donuts but theres never nearly enough to buy all these cool things.
Homer: I wouldve had more donuts but some of them fell into a pit while I was cleaning up Springfield.
Lisa: What do you mean by a pit?
Homer: My stomach.
Gil: Well Simpsons! You're in luck because Ol'Gil has a stash of some good stuff, including donuts!
Homer: May I take this opportunity to say, Mmmmm, donuts?
Lisa: No, Dad! Not again!
Lisa: Gil, could we just get some donuts to replace what my dad lost, um in a pit?
Gil: No can do little lady! This is a package deal, but dont worry with these goodies your Springfield will dance right to level 9! Cha-cha-cha!
Gil: I started gambling with my life at 8, so why shouldnt you gamble to win even more donuts with these two Golden Scratch-R tickets!
If the user declines:
Gil: So Ol' Gil's sales pitch didn't hook ya, huh? Guess you don't jump on great opportunities when they're sneakily flashed in front of your eyes.
If the user accepts:
Gil: Thank you, good friend. With the bonus Gil gets from your purchase I'm going down to the eye bank and getting my eyes put back in my head...
Gil: or someone else's! When you're blind, it's no time to be picky!
System Message: You've been awarded 75 Donuts, 5,800 XP, 25,000 Cash and 2 Golden Scratch-R tickets!
System Message: Your 2 Golden Scratch-R tickets are available in your inventory. Tap the Use button there to consume one.
I'll Let It Slide This Time
Auto starts
Bart: Oh cool, a slide factory! Finally we get some fun places in Springfield.
Quimby: A recent survey of citizens made it clear that we have a 45% deficit of fun activities in Springfield.
Quimby: My staff have determined slides are the safest city improvement a mayor can make to achieve re-election.
Bart: Awesome, can we get other stuff besides slides?
Bart: A helter skelter... A ski hill... A bobsled run?
Quimby: Ahmm, I don't know. I'm afraid that would be a, ah, slippery slope to go down.
Task: Make Bart Suggest Downhill Activities
Time: 4h
Location: Slide Factory
Babies in the Bathwater Pt. 1
Lucille Botzcowski starts
Luann: Welcome to the Coupon Clippers Club, Marge.
Marge: Sorry I'm late. I had to get a babysitter. Homer got stuck at work. Firemen are cutting him free now.
Helen Lovejoy: You know, I've been in need of a babysitter too.
Task: Make Lucille Botzcowski Take Care of the Children
Time: 1h
Babies in the Bathwater Pt. 2
Lucille Botzcowski starts
Lucille Botzcowski: Hello, Mr. Simpson, I'm here to look after your littlest one.
Homer: Snowball II or Maggie? Hint: take the baby, the cat's nothing but trouble.
Homer: I'm heading out to catch Moe's Pre-Happy Hour. I hope it's happier than his regular Happy Hour cause that one's pretty sad.
Homer: There's food in the fridge, TV's got four channels, Maggie can show you everything else. Bye-bye!
Lucille Botzcowski: Maggie won't need to show me cause I'm setting up a surveillance camera to see for myself.
Task: Make Lucille Botzcowski Scope Out the Simpson House
Time: 12h
Location: Simpson House
Babies in the Bathwater Pt. 3
Lucille Botzcowski starts
Lucille Botzcowski: The camera at the Simpson house is working perfectly, I'll know exactly when to clean out their place.
Lucille Botzcowski: Now, to set the same thing up with all the other families in town. Then pull off the biggest score ever!
Task: Make Lucille Botzcowski Ready Her Plan
Time: 2h
Location: Brown House
Babies in the Bathwater Pt. 4
Lucille Botzcowski starts
Lucille Botzcowski: Timing is perfect.
Lucille Botzcowski: Let's rob some houses!
Task: Make Lucille Botzcowski Rob Houses
Time: 24h
Location: Home
Lucille Botzcowski: Agh! Every house I go into the baby recognizes me and screams!
Lucille Botzcowski: Those little rotten bundles of joy are going to blow my cover.
Lucille Botzcowski: Can't believe my crime spree depends on actually being a good babysitter!
Babies in the Bathwater Pt. 5
Lucille Botzcowski starts
Lucille Botzcowski: Everywhere I go, I see them...
Lucille Botzcowski: ...babies!
Lucille Botzcowski: They're in the supermarket, in the park, on the streets!
Lucille Botzcowski: I just need to get away for a while.
Task: Make Lucille Botzcowski Visit Her Old Stomping Grounds
Time: 8h
Location: Calmwood Mental Hospital or Brown House
Lucille Botzcowski: I feel much better now that I've had some time to rest, doctor.
Marvin Monroe: As your doctor, I'LL tell you how you feel.
Marvin Monroe: Before we decide whether you're ready to leave or not, you and I should have a talk...
Marvin Monroe: ... about your childhood!
Lucille Botzcowski: My childhood?! Wahhh!!
Bear With Maggie
Auto starts
Homer: Oh, look kids, it's a bear, the serial killer of the animal kingdom!
Lisa: Dad, that's completely untrue! Like most animals, bears generally won't bother a person if you respect their space and territory.
Homer: We're humans, sweetie. It's human nature to NOT to respect other creatures' space and territory.
Homer: Now step aside. I'm gonna go rock this bear's world, Homer-style!
Maggie: *Facepalm*
Task: Make Maggie Pacify a Bear
Time: 4h
Location: Bear Cave
Maggie: *Smiling*
Bear: *Approving grunt*
Parental Guidance Pt. 1
Ling Bouvier starts
Selma: Patty, do you ever open any mail besides sweepstakes entries?
Selma: Especially when there are letters from China telling us Madam Wu is coming to visit Ling!
Selma: How dare they! They're checking to see if we're fit parents.
Selma: Quick, let's drop Ling off at Marge's so we can smoke up these cartons of cigarettes and finish our 140 hour MacGyver marathon!
Task: Make Selma Watch MacGyver
Time: 12h
Location: Spinster City Apartments
Task: Make Ling Bouvier Stay with Family
Time: 12h
Location: Simpson House
Parental Guidance Pt. 2
Ling Bouvier starts
Selma: Alright, the apartment is as clean as a cheap, smoker's apartment will ever get.
Selma: All Madam Wu will see is a creative space -- flash cards on the table, educational shows on TV, and painting supplies for our mini Matisse!
Ling Bouvier: Color!
Selma: No Ling. You're getting paint everywhere. I'll look like the horrible mother of a puny Jackson Pollock.
Ling Bouvier: Pretty walls!
Selma: Uggh I can't handle this without another Laramie Lady Long to my lips.
Task: Make Selma Take a Smoke Break
Time: 24h
Task: Make Ling Bouvier Paint a Masterpiece
Time: 8h
Madam Wu: Ling is painting your walls, while you spread your smoke?
Selma: No, no, it's not what it looks like. Ling was about to paint on canvas and I was exhaling my smoke into the fridge.
Parental Guidance Pt. 3
Ling Bouvier starts
Selma: Gahh the nerve of that woman to worry about the health and safety of my adopted child!
Selma: I know how to get her off my back, I'll run down to the DMV and report her rental car as stolen!
Ling Bouvier: Mama! Let's play game!
Selma: Not now Ling, Mommy has to mess up a foreign visitor's life!
Task: Make Selma Tamper with Records
Task: Make Ling Bouvier Speak at a Pre-K Level
Time: 12h
Location: Spinster City Apartments or DMV
Parental Guidance Pt. 4
Ling Bouvier starts
Selma: If Madam Wu needs proof that I'm a good mother then I'll show her just how talented I've made Ling.
Ling Bouvier: Me tired Mama.
Selma: That's nice sweetie, but now it's time to practice being talented.
Task: Make Ling Bouvier Perform Flutenastics
Time: 1h
Parental Guidance Pt. 5
Ling Bouvier starts
Selma: See how wonderful Ling is! She learned it all from me.
Madam Wu: All I see is a talented, very tired child.
Selma: I like the talented part but the tired thing doesn't sound positive. I can't lose Ling! She's made my life worth living!
Task: Make Selma Watch Ling All Night
Task: Make Ling Bouvier Sleep Like an Angel
Time: 24h
Location: Spinster City Apartments
Selma: Uh-oh, a letter from China. I don't know if I can stand to read what Madam Wu is going to say.
Patty: Give it to me, I'll read it...
Patty: Gobblety-*, gobblety-* It is the agencies belief that Selma is taking sufficient care of Ling.
Patty: "However, Selma appeared stressed and distracted. Perhaps Ling should be taking better care of her."
Patty: Haha... *cough-cough*... haha... *cough-cough-cough*
Selma: Haha... *cough-cough-cough*... haha... *cough*
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