Online H2H keeps loading, forcing you to quit game, get auto loss!!!!

That sounds really frustrating. Which platform do you both play on?

As a heads up, when a disconnection happens during online matches, the person that the servers deemed as breaking off from the servers first will receive the loss. So in cases where players assume the other opponent is up to something clever, it could be a simple connectivity issue that needs to be corrected through basic connection troubleshooting.

Have you both tried rebooting your network and power cycling the console since this started happening? I have some steps below that are definitely worth a try (they universally help across all games, you'll notice an immediate performance boost).

Let us know what's going on, we want to make sure you stay in the games to earn those wins. We'll absolutely flag down the team if we're seeing a trend in these reports. 👍

Try rebooting your network and power cycle the console.

Reboot the power to the modem/router

1. Unplug the power cable from your modem/router for 5-10 minutes to refresh the network.

PS4:

Power Cycle

1. Touch the power button on the front of the PS4 for at least 7 seconds (until the system beeps twice).
2. Turn it back on after 1 minute. Launch the game.

Xbox One:

Power Cycle the Console

1. Turn off the Xbox One console by pressing the Xbox button on the front of the console for about 10 seconds until it shuts down completely.
2. Unplug the console's power cable. Wait 10 seconds.

Important Be sure to wait 10 seconds. This step resets the power supply.

1. Plug the console power cable back in.
2. Press the Xbox button on your console to turn on the Xbox One.

Clear Mac Address

1. Clear the MAC Address: From the Xbox dashboard select Settings>All Settings>Network>Network Settings>Advanced Settings>Alternate MAC address>Clear, then restart your Xbox.