There is absolutely no difference in hitting between male/female builds. None. Please, let's not create more wildly absurd theories here. Most folks use female characters to avoid fighting. Since the game offers no way out of a fight after a great play, I use a female build to ensure that the momentum I just created for me team is not canceled out because the game gave their teammates the right to stop me from playing and fight, then sit in the box for 5+ minutes.
Fighting options should only occur when the hit results in both a penalty AND an injury, or if both players agree to it before the puck drop...and really, each player should only get 1 fight per game.