Bart the Fink: GUIDE
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Offshore Fun Pt. 1
Auto starts
Krusty: I hear those hopeless idiots in Washington passed a new tax law. How does it impact me, the small-time gazillionaire?
Cayman Island Banker: Why, you get to keep even MORE of your money, Mr. Krustofski.
Krusty: What?! Why would those perfect angels in Washington do this?
Cayman Island Banker: They feel it's high time that the wealthy give even less back to the country they pretend to love.
Krusty: How right they are! Time to buy my old airplane back!
Task: Reach Level 7 and Build Krusty Burger
Task: Place I'm-On-A-Rolla Gay
Krusty: Oh Planey, I missed you. I hope the mean IRS men didn't find the bags of you-know-what sewn into your seat cushions.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Offshore Fun Pt. 2
Krusty starts
Krusty: It sure is nice owning a plane. Know what I mean?
Krusty: What?! You don't own a plane? Ewww.
Krusty: Well, keep investing your money in mobile games, and I'm sure you'll be rich soon, too!
Task: Make Krusty Refuel His Plane
Time: 4h
Location: I'm-On-A-Rolla Gay
Krusty: Ahhh...happiness is owning a fully-fueled private jet.
Krusty: If that seems arrogant, try to remember how very wealthy I am, vis-à-vis you.
Krusty: So just try to be happy for me, Sky Finger. And jealous. I just love when people are jealous of me.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Offshore Fun Pt. 3
Krusty starts
Krusty: Sure, I'm well off. Money-wise. But could I have even more sweet, sweet cash?
Krusty: I'm not a young man. And I just don't want to leave this Earth knowing I could have had more money.
Krusty: Better call that banker...
Task: Make Krusty Call His Offshore Bank
Time: 4h
Location: Krusty Burger
Krusty: I'M WHAT???
Cayman Island Banker: You're broke. You invested in a company called Ponzi Pyramid Schemes, Inc.
Krusty: The Italian architectural firm that designs high-end triangle tombs for rich Egyptians? What's wrong with them?
Krusty: Come back, money! I don't want to live without too much of you!
System Message Will Krusty ever become solvent, or will he just regress to solvents? Find out soon!
Quest reward: $200 and XP.png20
Savings Haven Pt. 1
Cayman Island Banker starts
Cayman Island Banker: I just love hiding money where no one can find it.
Cayman Island Banker: Let's see... I'll put a dime under that dog... tuck a dollar behind that little girl...
Lisa: ...
Cayman Island Banker: I have so many clients here in Springfield.
Cayman Island Banker: It's the kind of crime-ridden cesspool that warms a banker's heart.
Task: Make Cayman Island Banker Visit Customers
Time: 4h
Location: Shops
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Savings Haven Pt. 2
Cayman Island Banker starts
Cayman Island Banker: Mayor Quimby, nice to see you again!
Quimby: LOOK, EVERYONE, IT'S A MAN I'VE NEVER MET BEFORE!
Quimby: *whispers* Where have you been? It's election season.
Cayman Island Banker: Shall I arrange the usual under-the-table bribes and mistress-quieting payments?
Quimby: OF COURSE NOT, STRANGER!
Quimby: *whispers* I've never wanted anything more.
Task: Make Cayman Island Banker Arrange Transfers
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall or Brown House
Cayman Island Banker: Mr. Mayor, your kickbacks, corruption and grafts are all arranged and ready to-
Cayman Island Banker: Oh hello, Chief Wiggum.
Wiggum: Banker Guy! Drop that hush money and give your ol' buddy Clancy a hug!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Savings Haven Pt. 3
Cayman Island Banker starts
Wiggum: Stop right there, Banker Guy! Reach for the sky!
Cayman Island Banker: Have I done something wrong?
Wiggum: Huh? No, I just wanted to give you a high five. That's what friends do.
Wiggum: Unless you HAVE been doing something illegal with the Mayor...
Cayman Island Banker: All conversations between the Mayor and I are protected by crook-criminal privilege.
Wiggum: Oh, right. High five!
Task: Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Cayman Island Banker Get a Drink
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Cayman Island Banker: This is the worst Piña Colada I have ever tasted.
Moe: Actually, it's the best puddle water and nail polish remover you've ever tasted.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Savings Haven Pt. 4
Cayman Island Banker starts
Cayman Island Banker: Small towns warm a banker's heart. Even here, you can find average people breaking the law in extraordinary ways.
Cayman Island Banker: Yes, sir. If you're ever worried about the future of evil, small towns will put your mind at ease.
Moe: Now, there's nothing illegal going on in my bar.
Cayman Island Banker: Moe, how long have we known each other?
Moe: ‘Bout five minutes. But, yeah, you got me...
Task: Make Moe Smuggle Endangered Species
Time: 8h
Cayman Island Banker: Such vile exploitation, Moe! Thank you for this.
Wiggum: Stop right there!
Moe: *gasp*
Wiggum: You're walking away, when I want to pet that adorable fella!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Savings Haven Pt. 5
Cayman Island Banker starts
Cayman Island Banker: Chief Wiggum, that's an endangered panda. You can't really be this obtuse, can you?
Wiggum: Can too!
Cayman Island Banker: I'm STILL going to offer you a bribe to look the other way. Just because I feel like it.
Cayman Island Banker: If loving to bribe cops is a crime, then consider me guilty.
Wiggum: Well, I'd have to look that up in a book or something. I'm gonna say it's cool.
Task: Make Cayman Island Banker Spread the Wealth
Time: 8h
Krusty: Hey, how about you spread a little of that cash my way?
Cayman Island Banker: Love to. But you have to do something illegal first.
Krusty: Illegal, eh? Okay, here goes. Something illegal... something totally against the law...
Krusty: I'm normally so good at this...
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
https://i.imgur.com/aI3iwwn.png
https://i.imgur.com/i3bTPN1.png
Offshore Fun Pt. 1
Auto starts
Krusty: I hear those hopeless idiots in Washington passed a new tax law. How does it impact me, the small-time gazillionaire?
Cayman Island Banker: Why, you get to keep even MORE of your money, Mr. Krustofski.
Krusty: What?! Why would those perfect angels in Washington do this?
Cayman Island Banker: They feel it's high time that the wealthy give even less back to the country they pretend to love.
Krusty: How right they are! Time to buy my old airplane back!
Task: Reach Level 7 and Build Krusty Burger
Task: Place I'm-On-A-Rolla Gay
Krusty: Oh Planey, I missed you. I hope the mean IRS men didn't find the bags of you-know-what sewn into your seat cushions.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Offshore Fun Pt. 2
Krusty starts
Krusty: It sure is nice owning a plane. Know what I mean?
Krusty: What?! You don't own a plane? Ewww.
Krusty: Well, keep investing your money in mobile games, and I'm sure you'll be rich soon, too!
Task: Make Krusty Refuel His Plane
Time: 4h
Location: I'm-On-A-Rolla Gay
Krusty: Ahhh...happiness is owning a fully-fueled private jet.
Krusty: If that seems arrogant, try to remember how very wealthy I am, vis-à-vis you.
Krusty: So just try to be happy for me, Sky Finger. And jealous. I just love when people are jealous of me.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Offshore Fun Pt. 3
Krusty starts
Krusty: Sure, I'm well off. Money-wise. But could I have even more sweet, sweet cash?
Krusty: I'm not a young man. And I just don't want to leave this Earth knowing I could have had more money.
Krusty: Better call that banker...
Task: Make Krusty Call His Offshore Bank
Time: 4h
Location: Krusty Burger
Krusty: I'M WHAT???
Cayman Island Banker: You're broke. You invested in a company called Ponzi Pyramid Schemes, Inc.
Krusty: The Italian architectural firm that designs high-end triangle tombs for rich Egyptians? What's wrong with them?
Krusty: Come back, money! I don't want to live without too much of you!
System Message Will Krusty ever become solvent, or will he just regress to solvents? Find out soon!
Quest reward: $200 and XP.png20
Savings Haven Pt. 1
Cayman Island Banker starts
Cayman Island Banker: I just love hiding money where no one can find it.
Cayman Island Banker: Let's see... I'll put a dime under that dog... tuck a dollar behind that little girl...
Lisa: ...
Cayman Island Banker: I have so many clients here in Springfield.
Cayman Island Banker: It's the kind of crime-ridden cesspool that warms a banker's heart.
Task: Make Cayman Island Banker Visit Customers
Time: 4h
Location: Shops
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Savings Haven Pt. 2
Cayman Island Banker starts
Cayman Island Banker: Mayor Quimby, nice to see you again!
Quimby: LOOK, EVERYONE, IT'S A MAN I'VE NEVER MET BEFORE!
Quimby: *whispers* Where have you been? It's election season.
Cayman Island Banker: Shall I arrange the usual under-the-table bribes and mistress-quieting payments?
Quimby: OF COURSE NOT, STRANGER!
Quimby: *whispers* I've never wanted anything more.
Task: Make Cayman Island Banker Arrange Transfers
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall or Brown House
Cayman Island Banker: Mr. Mayor, your kickbacks, corruption and grafts are all arranged and ready to-
Cayman Island Banker: Oh hello, Chief Wiggum.
Wiggum: Banker Guy! Drop that hush money and give your ol' buddy Clancy a hug!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Savings Haven Pt. 3
Cayman Island Banker starts
Wiggum: Stop right there, Banker Guy! Reach for the sky!
Cayman Island Banker: Have I done something wrong?
Wiggum: Huh? No, I just wanted to give you a high five. That's what friends do.
Wiggum: Unless you HAVE been doing something illegal with the Mayor...
Cayman Island Banker: All conversations between the Mayor and I are protected by crook-criminal privilege.
Wiggum: Oh, right. High five!
Task: Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Cayman Island Banker Get a Drink
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Cayman Island Banker: This is the worst Piña Colada I have ever tasted.
Moe: Actually, it's the best puddle water and nail polish remover you've ever tasted.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Savings Haven Pt. 4
Cayman Island Banker starts
Cayman Island Banker: Small towns warm a banker's heart. Even here, you can find average people breaking the law in extraordinary ways.
Cayman Island Banker: Yes, sir. If you're ever worried about the future of evil, small towns will put your mind at ease.
Moe: Now, there's nothing illegal going on in my bar.
Cayman Island Banker: Moe, how long have we known each other?
Moe: ‘Bout five minutes. But, yeah, you got me...
Task: Make Moe Smuggle Endangered Species
Time: 8h
Cayman Island Banker: Such vile exploitation, Moe! Thank you for this.
Wiggum: Stop right there!
Moe: *gasp*
Wiggum: You're walking away, when I want to pet that adorable fella!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Savings Haven Pt. 5
Cayman Island Banker starts
Cayman Island Banker: Chief Wiggum, that's an endangered panda. You can't really be this obtuse, can you?
Wiggum: Can too!
Cayman Island Banker: I'm STILL going to offer you a bribe to look the other way. Just because I feel like it.
Cayman Island Banker: If loving to bribe cops is a crime, then consider me guilty.
Wiggum: Well, I'd have to look that up in a book or something. I'm gonna say it's cool.
Task: Make Cayman Island Banker Spread the Wealth
Time: 8h
Krusty: Hey, how about you spread a little of that cash my way?
Cayman Island Banker: Love to. But you have to do something illegal first.
Krusty: Illegal, eh? Okay, here goes. Something illegal... something totally against the law...
Krusty: I'm normally so good at this...
Quest reward: $200 and 20 XP
