Clash of Creeds: Christmas Royale: Stupid vs Sexy Walkthrough
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 1
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Yahweh: You must be this The Leader I've been hearing so much about.
The Leader: In the flesh. What can I do ya for?
Baby Jesus: Yahweh? What are you doing here?
Yahweh: Got summoned, major drag.
Baby Jesus: Tell me about it.
The Leader: You two know each other?
Yahweh: Depends who you ask.
Homer: Well, I hope you're not here to try to stop The Leader. He's a good guy. Other than the whippings, but those were well-deserved.
The Leader: We're just having a good time here, doing surprisingly lucrative manual labor to prepare things for our new home on Blisstonia.
Yahweh: Well, this all seems to be in order. I see no reason why we can't all coexist.
The Leader: Perhaps we could do more. Have you had a chance to see…my spaceship?
Yahweh: Eh, that's cool. Not really my thing.
Task: Collect Candy Canes
If the user has Yahweh: Task: Make Yahweh Play Hacky-Sack With The Leader
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Play Hacky-Sack With Yahweh
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Plead With Yahweh for Some Smiting
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Endure Another Whipping
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Ned: I'm sorry, Marge. We've worked our way to the top of the religion ladder. There's nobody left to pray to.
Marge: Maybe we were praying in the wrong direction.
Ned: It's a bit unconventional, but I guess we could try asking Satan. Satan is Santa spelled sideways, sort of, right?
Mr. Burns: You wished to speak with me?
Marge: Mr. Burns. Your employee, Homer Simpson, has fallen in with a cult! Will you help us?
Mr. Burns: A cult, eh? And what sort of automatons does this cult turn people into?
Marge: Mindless!
Mr. Burns: Mmm, that's the best kind, really. The sentient ones always want to know why you created them, and then they always seem so hurt when you say to make money.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 2
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Mr. Burns: Smithers, what is the tax status of this cult?
Smithers: Exempt.
Mr. Burns: That is worrying. I may no longer be the most evil man in Springfield!
Mr. Burns: Perhaps we should form our own religion.
Smithers: We'd need some sort of belief system, preferably in book form.
Mr. Burns: My Rungs of Ruthlessness will be our bible. Commandment One: When in Doubt, Release The Hounds. Commandment Two: Conceal Your Control of the Kerosene Industry Through an Impenetrable Web of Trusts.
Mr. Burns: If we need more commandments we can steal them from Jay G's 50 Rules of Ruthlessness.
Smithers: Is that really the sort of message we want to send?
Mr. Burns: I guess we must be a religion: we've already got our Judas.
King Herod: Excuse me, fine chaps. Have you seen a baby around? About yea-high, long golden locks. Insufferably smug face.
Mr. Burns: Can't say that we have, sorry friend.
King Herod: Quite alright. Thanks for your time. Toodles.
Mr. Burns: ...
Mr. Burns: What a handsome man.
Smithers: Indeed.
Task: Collect Candy Canes
If the user has Mr. Burns: Task: Make Mr. Burns Start a Cult
Time: 4h
Location: Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building or Brown House
If the user has Smithers: Task: Make Smithers Sort Out the Tax Exemption Paperwork
Time: 4h
Location: Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Search for Baby Jesus
Time: 4h
Rabbi Krustofsky: I'm sorry, Yahweh, but now we have the Movementarians, the Burnsentarians, and the Christians to deal with.
Rabbi Krustofsky: I tried fire and brimstone with Moses but he's a book short of a Pentateuch, if you know what I mean. It's time to bring the chastisement as only you can.
Yahweh: That was the old me. *laughs* I was such a hothead. Plagues of Locusts? Laying waste to Sodom AND Gomorrah? Who was that guy?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Those were your greatest hits! It's time to dust off the classics.
Yahweh: I prefer to work in mysterious ways now.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Ways that look mysteriously like not working at all.
Yahweh: Don't push your luck, Rabbi! You want a little of what Nineveh got?
Rabbi Krustofsky: There's the wrathful Lord who made the Old Testament a ratings hit!
Rabbi Krustofsky: They changed the "God" character so much in the New Testament, it was basically a new book.
Rabbi Krustofsky: By the way, are you ever going to finish the Bible? It's been more than 2000 years since the last book. The fans are getting impatient.
Yahweh: I don't owe the fans anything. I'm living my life. They should try living theirs.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 3
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Marge: Can you make Homer come home, Grampa?
Grampa: Are you nuts? I can't even make him come visit me for an hour!
Grampa: Besides, if I go over there, the next thing you know I'll be handing out pamphlets in the park. I'm what the Navy doctors called weak-minded!
Grampa: I've already been a member of Sailors for Satan, the Order of the Purple Pyramid, and the Harvard Lampoon!
Marge: So many weirdos!
Grampa: Anyhow, you've got better ways of persuading him than I do. If I was you, I'd use 'em!
Marge: Maybe there is one more card I could play. A Christmas card, I mean...
Task: Collect Candy Canes
Task: Make Marge Buy a Sexy Outfit
Time: 4h
Location: Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Gold Navy, Abercrombie and Rich or Brown House
Task: Make Lisa Accidentally See Marge's Sexy Outfit
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Lisa: *gasp* Mom, what is this outfit? It seems to be missing the arms, and the legs, and the…upper chest area.
Marge: Oh, uh…you weren't supposed to see that. But I suppose now is as good a time as any.
Marge: Lisa, uh…so there are birds and there are bees. And sometimes the birds think the bees are cute, for some reason, and uh…
Lisa: Oh my gosh, Mom, please don't try to have the birds and the bees talk with me. I've lived on the streets of Springfield. I've seen things.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 4
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Sexy Santa Marge: Oh, Homie… I have something to show you…
The Leader: *gasp* Security! Don't let him see her outfit!
Homer: Marge? Is that – *drooling*
Sexy Santa Marge: Don't you want to come back home with me, Homie?
The Leader: Homer, no! You must resist!
Homer: Must…resist…
Task: Collect Candy Canes
Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Try to be Sexy
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Try to Resist
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Fire Up the Spaceship as a Distraction
Time: 4h
Location: Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Steal the Spaceship When No One's Looking
Time: 4h
Location: Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Burns Hand Out Burnsentarian Pamphlets
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Demand Yahweh Smite Them All
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Yahweh: Task: Make Yahweh Play Some More Hacky-Sack
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Overhear the Commotion
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Homer: Must…go with…sexy Santa…
The Leader: Alright, Homer. You brought this on yourself. *whips him*
Homer: Ow! What's happening? Where am I?
Sexy Santa Marge: Hey, that's cheating!
The Leader: Oh, and that outfit isn't?! Security, get her outta here!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 5
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The Leader: Homer, you've shown some real fortitude today. I think you're just about ready for the spaceship.
Homer: Woohoo! There's nothing about this cult that I don't love!
Patty: Alright, The Leader, we've completed our list of complaints to be addressed. First and foremost, we need cable in the rooms. Second and...next foremost, Selma needs a shorter robe.
Selma: These legs gotta breathe under here.
Homer: Oh right, I forgot about them.
Homer: I want to be any place other than here!
Task: Collect Candy Canes
Task: Make Homer Go Home
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Change Outfits
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Leave After Two Minutes of Patty
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Moses: Task: Make Moses Leave After Two Minutes of Selma
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Wonder Where Baby Jesus Went
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
King Herod: Baby Jesus was here? And you just…let him go?
The Leader: I didn't LET him go. Baby Jesus choked my guard with his toga and stole my spaceship.
The Leader: If you see him, you can tell him that he's dead to me. DEAD!
King Herod: Yes…dead…wouldn't that be nice…mwwaaahahahahaha…
The Leader: I just meant like figuratively.
King Herod: Yes, me too.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The True Meaning of Christmas
After completing Quest Space Cadet Pt. 5, Hallowed Be Thy Shame Pt. 5, Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 5 and Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 5
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Marge: Oh, Homie, I'm so glad to have you home for Christmas.
Bart: Yeah, Dad. It was so boring around here without you. Not a single thing broke or blew up.
Homer: There's just nothing like family…
Grampa: *knocking on the door* Can I come in?
Homer: *whispering* Everybody, ssshhh. He'll go away…
Baby Jesus: Well, I for one am real grateful for you letting me stay here until this whole King Herod thing blows over. Guy really knows how to hold a grudge.
Ned: *through the window* You're always welcome at my house, Baby Jesus!
Homer: Buzz off, Flanders! He's our Baby Jesus now!
Marge: Right, now we can all get back to the true meaning of Christmas.
Baby Jesus: Shopping?
Marge: Shopping!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
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Yahweh: You must be this The Leader I've been hearing so much about.
The Leader: In the flesh. What can I do ya for?
Baby Jesus: Yahweh? What are you doing here?
Yahweh: Got summoned, major drag.
Baby Jesus: Tell me about it.
The Leader: You two know each other?
Yahweh: Depends who you ask.
Homer: Well, I hope you're not here to try to stop The Leader. He's a good guy. Other than the whippings, but those were well-deserved.
The Leader: We're just having a good time here, doing surprisingly lucrative manual labor to prepare things for our new home on Blisstonia.
Yahweh: Well, this all seems to be in order. I see no reason why we can't all coexist.
The Leader: Perhaps we could do more. Have you had a chance to see…my spaceship?
Yahweh: Eh, that's cool. Not really my thing.
Task: Collect Candy Canes
If the user has Yahweh: Task: Make Yahweh Play Hacky-Sack With The Leader
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Play Hacky-Sack With Yahweh
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Plead With Yahweh for Some Smiting
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Endure Another Whipping
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Ned: I'm sorry, Marge. We've worked our way to the top of the religion ladder. There's nobody left to pray to.
Marge: Maybe we were praying in the wrong direction.
Ned: It's a bit unconventional, but I guess we could try asking Satan. Satan is Santa spelled sideways, sort of, right?
Mr. Burns: You wished to speak with me?
Marge: Mr. Burns. Your employee, Homer Simpson, has fallen in with a cult! Will you help us?
Mr. Burns: A cult, eh? And what sort of automatons does this cult turn people into?
Marge: Mindless!
Mr. Burns: Mmm, that's the best kind, really. The sentient ones always want to know why you created them, and then they always seem so hurt when you say to make money.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 2
Auto starts
Mr. Burns: Smithers, what is the tax status of this cult?
Smithers: Exempt.
Mr. Burns: That is worrying. I may no longer be the most evil man in Springfield!
Mr. Burns: Perhaps we should form our own religion.
Smithers: We'd need some sort of belief system, preferably in book form.
Mr. Burns: My Rungs of Ruthlessness will be our bible. Commandment One: When in Doubt, Release The Hounds. Commandment Two: Conceal Your Control of the Kerosene Industry Through an Impenetrable Web of Trusts.
Mr. Burns: If we need more commandments we can steal them from Jay G's 50 Rules of Ruthlessness.
Smithers: Is that really the sort of message we want to send?
Mr. Burns: I guess we must be a religion: we've already got our Judas.
King Herod: Excuse me, fine chaps. Have you seen a baby around? About yea-high, long golden locks. Insufferably smug face.
Mr. Burns: Can't say that we have, sorry friend.
King Herod: Quite alright. Thanks for your time. Toodles.
Mr. Burns: ...
Mr. Burns: What a handsome man.
Smithers: Indeed.
Task: Collect Candy Canes
If the user has Mr. Burns: Task: Make Mr. Burns Start a Cult
Time: 4h
Location: Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building or Brown House
If the user has Smithers: Task: Make Smithers Sort Out the Tax Exemption Paperwork
Time: 4h
Location: Burns Cult Headquarters, Cooling Towers, Control Building or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Search for Baby Jesus
Time: 4h
Rabbi Krustofsky: I'm sorry, Yahweh, but now we have the Movementarians, the Burnsentarians, and the Christians to deal with.
Rabbi Krustofsky: I tried fire and brimstone with Moses but he's a book short of a Pentateuch, if you know what I mean. It's time to bring the chastisement as only you can.
Yahweh: That was the old me. *laughs* I was such a hothead. Plagues of Locusts? Laying waste to Sodom AND Gomorrah? Who was that guy?
Rabbi Krustofsky: Those were your greatest hits! It's time to dust off the classics.
Yahweh: I prefer to work in mysterious ways now.
Rabbi Krustofsky: Ways that look mysteriously like not working at all.
Yahweh: Don't push your luck, Rabbi! You want a little of what Nineveh got?
Rabbi Krustofsky: There's the wrathful Lord who made the Old Testament a ratings hit!
Rabbi Krustofsky: They changed the "God" character so much in the New Testament, it was basically a new book.
Rabbi Krustofsky: By the way, are you ever going to finish the Bible? It's been more than 2000 years since the last book. The fans are getting impatient.
Yahweh: I don't owe the fans anything. I'm living my life. They should try living theirs.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 3
Auto starts
Marge: Can you make Homer come home, Grampa?
Grampa: Are you nuts? I can't even make him come visit me for an hour!
Grampa: Besides, if I go over there, the next thing you know I'll be handing out pamphlets in the park. I'm what the Navy doctors called weak-minded!
Grampa: I've already been a member of Sailors for Satan, the Order of the Purple Pyramid, and the Harvard Lampoon!
Marge: So many weirdos!
Grampa: Anyhow, you've got better ways of persuading him than I do. If I was you, I'd use 'em!
Marge: Maybe there is one more card I could play. A Christmas card, I mean...
Task: Collect Candy Canes
Task: Make Marge Buy a Sexy Outfit
Time: 4h
Location: Towne Centre at Springfielde Glenne, Gold Navy, Abercrombie and Rich or Brown House
Task: Make Lisa Accidentally See Marge's Sexy Outfit
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Lisa: *gasp* Mom, what is this outfit? It seems to be missing the arms, and the legs, and the…upper chest area.
Marge: Oh, uh…you weren't supposed to see that. But I suppose now is as good a time as any.
Marge: Lisa, uh…so there are birds and there are bees. And sometimes the birds think the bees are cute, for some reason, and uh…
Lisa: Oh my gosh, Mom, please don't try to have the birds and the bees talk with me. I've lived on the streets of Springfield. I've seen things.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 4
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Sexy Santa Marge: Oh, Homie… I have something to show you…
The Leader: *gasp* Security! Don't let him see her outfit!
Homer: Marge? Is that – *drooling*
Sexy Santa Marge: Don't you want to come back home with me, Homie?
The Leader: Homer, no! You must resist!
Homer: Must…resist…
Task: Collect Candy Canes
Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Try to be Sexy
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Homer Try to Resist
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has The Leader: Task: Make The Leader Fire Up the Spaceship as a Distraction
Time: 4h
Location: Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Steal the Spaceship When No One's Looking
Time: 4h
Location: Cult Flying Saucer, Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Burns Hand Out Burnsentarian Pamphlets
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Rabbi Krustofsky: Task: Make Rabbi Krustofsky Demand Yahweh Smite Them All
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Yahweh: Task: Make Yahweh Play Some More Hacky-Sack
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Overhear the Commotion
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
Homer: Must…go with…sexy Santa…
The Leader: Alright, Homer. You brought this on yourself. *whips him*
Homer: Ow! What's happening? Where am I?
Sexy Santa Marge: Hey, that's cheating!
The Leader: Oh, and that outfit isn't?! Security, get her outta here!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 5
Auto starts
The Leader: Homer, you've shown some real fortitude today. I think you're just about ready for the spaceship.
Homer: Woohoo! There's nothing about this cult that I don't love!
Patty: Alright, The Leader, we've completed our list of complaints to be addressed. First and foremost, we need cable in the rooms. Second and...next foremost, Selma needs a shorter robe.
Selma: These legs gotta breathe under here.
Homer: Oh right, I forgot about them.
Homer: I want to be any place other than here!
Task: Collect Candy Canes
Task: Make Homer Go Home
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
Task: Make Sexy Santa Marge Change Outfits
Time: 4h
Location: Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Baby Jesus: Task: Make Baby Jesus Leave After Two Minutes of Patty
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has Moses: Task: Make Moses Leave After Two Minutes of Selma
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
If the user has King Herod: Task: Make King Herod Wonder Where Baby Jesus Went
Time: 4h
Location: Movementarian Compound, Movementarian Ad Truck, Cult Flying Saucer, Simpson House or Brown House
King Herod: Baby Jesus was here? And you just…let him go?
The Leader: I didn't LET him go. Baby Jesus choked my guard with his toga and stole my spaceship.
The Leader: If you see him, you can tell him that he's dead to me. DEAD!
King Herod: Yes…dead…wouldn't that be nice…mwwaaahahahahaha…
The Leader: I just meant like figuratively.
King Herod: Yes, me too.
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
The True Meaning of Christmas
After completing Quest Space Cadet Pt. 5, Hallowed Be Thy Shame Pt. 5, Tire Fire and Brimstone Pt. 5 and Stupid vs Sexy Pt. 5
Auto starts
Marge: Oh, Homie, I'm so glad to have you home for Christmas.
Bart: Yeah, Dad. It was so boring around here without you. Not a single thing broke or blew up.
Homer: There's just nothing like family…
Grampa: *knocking on the door* Can I come in?
Homer: *whispering* Everybody, ssshhh. He'll go away…
Baby Jesus: Well, I for one am real grateful for you letting me stay here until this whole King Herod thing blows over. Guy really knows how to hold a grudge.
Ned: *through the window* You're always welcome at my house, Baby Jesus!
Homer: Buzz off, Flanders! He's our Baby Jesus now!
Marge: Right, now we can all get back to the true meaning of Christmas.
Baby Jesus: Shopping?
Marge: Shopping!
Quest reward: $100 and 10 XP
