ACT 1 PRIZES
Leftorium ExpressAuto starts
Ned: Oh Lord, what am I to do?
Ned: Christmas is supposed to be my busy season, but it's turning out to be a downright right-handed affair.
Ned: I guess that star that shone bright in the East was on the right side of the compass, too.
Ned: I need a left-handed solution to my business woes, PDQ – Pretty Diddly Quick!
Homer: Why don't you just open a hot dog stand? Everyone loves hot dogs.
Ned: You're right, Homer! And by right, I mean you're as good as being left!
Homer: Shut up, stupid Flanders! You're confusing me.
Task: Unlock the Leftorium Express
Ned: I just had to downsize. Instead of a big, old Leftorium, what better way than with a mobile stall!
Ned: Allow me to introduce ... the Leftorium Express!
Ned: With this, I not only cut rental costs, but I get to bump my backside with my new business partner, Nasreen!
Nasreen: ...
Ned: As a thank you to Homer, I'm also sellin' left-handed hot dogs!
Springfield OrphanageAuto starts
Lisa: This is really awful.
Lisa: All these orphans. How can they survive on the mean streets of Springfield without the guidance of a parent?
Ralph: I don't have a parrot. I'm an orphan!
Lisa: We can't let them down, we need to do something to help!
Marge: Maybe we should build an orphanage.
Task: Unlock Springfield Orphanage
Task: Build the Springfield Orphanage
Task: Make Ralph Register as an Orphan
Time: 1h
Location: Springfield Orphanage
Wiggum: Is my son, Ralph, in this orphanage?
Ralph: Here I am! I'm a mighty morphin' power orphan!
Wiggum: Ralph, an orphan is someone who doesn't have a mommy or daddy, or a bedroom, or a bathroom...
Ralph: I go potty in the closet!
Wiggum: Just... get your stuff and let's go home. Come on, Ralphie.
Dancing ReindeerAuto starts
Task: Unlock the Dancing Reindeer
Task: Tap the Dancing Reindeer
Homer: Oh wow, would you look at that! A dancing reindeer.
Lisa: Dad. You do realize that this is not a real dancing reindeer, right?
Homer: Of course, Honey. I'm not THAT dumb.
Homer: It might be a real dancing moose, though.
Lisa: Or… just a man in a reindeer costume.
Virgil's CabinAuto starts
Homer: You know what would be great, Marge? A nice, quiet, relaxing place for a retreat…
Homer: …with satellite TV, high-speed internet, a freeway close by, a 20-screen multiplex, Kwik-E-Mart next door…
Homer: Lucky for us, there's a beautiful cabin that's been in the family all this time.
Task: Unlock Virgil's Cabin
Task: Build Virgil's Cabin
Homer: What a cute little cabin! I could TOTALLY live here.
Lisa: Are you sure about that, Dad?
Homer: Sure, I'm sure. Why?
Lisa: You see the flag over there... That's the Canadian flag.
Homer: D'oh, Can-a-da!
Patches & Poor VioletAuto starts
Task: Unlock Patches & Poor Violet
A Tale of Two Orphans Pt. 1Patches and Poor Violet starts
Patches: Poor Violet, I'm so hungry I could *cough cough* eat my shoes.
Poor Violet: We ate your shoes for Thanksgiving. All we can do now is *sneeze* rely on the charity of others.
Task: Make Patches & Poor Violet Work Hard for Their Money
Time: 4h
Patches: All the money we collected seems to just disappear before we can use it.
Poor Violet: I'm not eating the money, that's for sure... Um… okay, I'm eating it.
A Tale of Two Orphans Pt. 2Patches and Poor Violet starts
Poor Violet: Today's been a terribly slow day for begging. *sneeze-sniffle-sneeze*
Patches: Beggars can't be choosers so I choose to pick through the dumpster.
Poor Violet: Good idea. Even a dry crust of bread can be softened with a bit of melted snow!
Task: Make Patches & Poor Violet Dig Through Trash
Time: 8h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart
Poor Violet: Patches! Look what I found!
Poor Violet: It's a cash bill! With some holes in it!
Patches: Those aren't holes. *cough-cough* Those are zeros.
Patches: Violet… we're zero-illion-aires!
A Tale of Two Orphans Pt. 3Patches and Poor Violet starts
Poor Violet: What should we do with all this money?
Patches: I don't know, but I've never seen this much *cough* green before.
Poor Violet: Are you talking about the green on the money, or the green on my leg?
Patches: That's it. We're spending the money on getting your leg un-greened.
Poor Violet: I'd love that! *sneeze*
Task: Make Patches & Poor Violet Buy a Medicine Pill
Time: 1h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart
A Tale of Two Orphans Pt. 4Patches and Poor Violet starts
Poor Violet: Now we can spend the rest of the money on a nice sleeping place!
Patches: With real sheets and real blankets and *cough-cough* what's that other thing?... oh yeah, pillows!
Poor Violet: Sounds beautiful, but I'm not sure we'd sleep well anywhere but in our usual spots – on the floor of the church basement.
Task: Reach Level 14 and Build the First Church of Springfield
Task: Make Patches & Poor Violet Sleep on the Floor
Time: 24h
Location: First Church of Springfield
A Tale of Two Orphans Pt. 5Patches and Poor Violet starts
Patches: We got a problem, Poor Violet. *cough-cough*
Poor Violet: Besides your chronic congestion?
Patches: Yep. I still got money burning in my pocket. Least I think that's why I'm burning down there.
Patches: We gotta get rid of it. Let's give it to someone more in need than two orphans without food or shelter.
Task: Make Patches & Poor Violet Give to Charity
Time: 12h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart
ACT 2 PRIZES
Picture on a RembrandtAuto starts
Moe: I don't know where my head's lately but I know one place it ain't -- on a Rembrandt.
Moe: And I've always wanted to have my picture on a Rembrandt.
Moe: I think, ultimately, my purpose in life is to have my picture on a Rembrandt.
Task: Unlock Picture on a Rembrandt
Task: Place Picture on a Rembrandt
Lisa: Rembrandt was a revered Dutch painter from the 17th century. Maybe Moe feels it would be an honor.
Homer: When he could have his picture on a beer bottle from this century?! I'll never understand bartenders.
Abercrombie & RichAuto starts
Marge: I need to find a gift for Homie. What do you get for the man who's eaten, drank and passed out on everything?
Marge: I know for sure he's not picky.
Marge: But I would like to find him something unique. Something manly and sexy.
Selma: We know exactly where you should shop for the modern over-packed pile of lard.
Task: Unlock Abercrombie & Rich
Task: Build Abercrombie & Rich
Task: Make Marge Go Christmas Shopping
Time: 4h
Location: Abercrombie And Rich
Marge: This clothing store is so fashionable. And the staff looks like they jumped right out of a magazine.
Marge: Even the mannequins are oo-la-la handsome. And most of them don't even have heads!
Marge: I've been browsing all day but I haven't found anything that fits Homer. Even the stretch socks are too much of a stretch.
Marge: I'll have to accept that the only six-pack Homie is ever going to have is one pulled from our fridge.
Ye Olde Chocolate ShoppeAuto starts
Apu: I am sorry, Homer, but my shelves are empty of Butterfingers.
Homer: WHAT?! You can't do that to me, APU!
Apu: Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney stole every last one of them.
Homer: And you just let them?!
Apu: During the holidays I have a soft spot in my heart for all criminals, thugs, and hooligans.
Homer: Ohh… where else in town can an overweight man get candy?!
Task: Unlock Chocolate Shoppe
Task: Build the Chocolate Shoppe
Homer: Ooh, a new place I can shop for chocolaty treats while I sneak mouthfuls of them browsing.
Lisa: Dad, that's stealing! You should pay for everything you eat.
Homer: Honey, if I paid for everything I ate we wouldn't have a home, or a car, or the clothes on our backs.
Buckingham Pay-Less MotelAuto starts
Grampa: Son, my brother Cyrus just arrived in town. I thought it'd be brotherly if he stayed with us for the holidays.
Grampa: All he brought is one bag… and his 15 Tahitian wives.
Homer: And you want them to stay here?! I'm not waiting for 15 ladies to use the bathroom!
Grampa: They'd still all finish before I did.
Grampa: Fine! I'll find ‘em all another place to lay their leis and park their coconuts.
Task: Unlock Buckingham Pay-Less Hotel
Task: Build Buckingham Pay-Less Motel
Grampa: Pip, pip and cheerio! There's tea and crumpets on every nightstand and fish & chips under every pillow.
Grampa: The Brits sure know how to class up a motel.
Grampa: You also got a huge HD TV playing a Jack the Ripper movie. Oh wait. No, that's just a window into the alley.
Cyrus Simpson: This place is cheap! I can afford a room for each of my wives and I can sneak into their rooms and think I'm cheatin' on all of the others!
Festivus Comic Book GuyAuto starts
Task: Unlock Festivus Comic Book Guy
Rest of Us for the Festivus Pt. 1Comic Book Guy starts
Comic Book Guy: Oi, it looks like the latest Hollywood drek is slated to wash up on a shore near you this summer.
Comic Book Guy: "Dark, Gritty Reboot 3: The End of Ideas"
Comic Book Guy: Yet another disservice to the fanbase that made them great, in the name of the almighty dollar!
Comic Book Guy: Well, it's time someone stood up against corporate greed and the commercialization of our holidays!
Comic Book Guy: And also for the right to cosplay as a Dickensian character all year round!
Task: Make Festivus Comic Book Guy Air Grievances
Time: 1h
Rest of Us for the Festivus Pt. 2Comic Book Guy starts
Festivus CBG: As a representative of the spirit of Festivus, it is my duty to thwart all mainstream influences.
Festivus CBG: My first target: rampant consumerism!
Task: Make Festivus Comic Book Guy Boycott the Kwik-E-Mart
Time: 4h
Location: Kwik-E-Mart
Festivus CBG: I hope the financial damage caused by my demonstration has given you a different point of view about consumerism.
Apu: Today's receipts are certainly less than yesterday's…
Apu: Until I ring up all the snacks you've devoured since you got here. Joy! My biggest sales day ever!
Festivus CBG: Excuse me… your sales day is not over because I'm not through snacking.
Apu: Thank you, come again! And come again! And come again!
Rest of Us for the Festivus Pt. 3Comic Book Guy starts
Jimbo: Hey man, are you that Festivus guy?
Festivus CBG: Before I brag about what I am, why do you ask?
Nelson: We just wanted to congratulate you for sticking it to The Man.
Festivus CBG: Coming from such notorious bullies, that means a lot.
Festivus CBG: Fight the Power!
Jimbo: You have our respect… which means nothing. We're still going to shake you down for money.
Task: Make Festivus Comic Book Guy Fight the Power
Time: 4h
Location: Town Hall
Rest of Us for the Festivus Pt. 4Comic Book Guy starts
Milhouse: Great job, Festivus Guy! Your face is everywhere!
Milhouse: There are T-shirts, bumper stickers, even action figures!
Festivus CBG: Wait a minute. People are SELLING my image?
Homer: Are they ever! Support Festivus!
Festivus CBG: The bigger question is: my image actually fits on things?
Brockman: Kent Brockman from Channel 6 will ask that question here! Can we get a sound bite?
Task: Make Festivus Comic Book Guy Give a Sound Bite
Time: 4h
Location: Channel 6
Rest of Us for the Festivus Pt. 5Comic Book Guy starts
Festivus CBG: Everywhere I go, people cheer for the Festivus movement, but they don't even know what it means!
Festivus CBG: I have become no better than the corporate shills I started out fighting.
Festivus CBG: There's only one way to fix this.
Festivus CBG: I'll become something no one in their right mind would ever admire or emulate… a Comic Book Guy!
Task: Make Comic Book Guy Sell Comics
Time: 24h
Location: Android's Dungeon
ACT MAGGIE SPECIAL PRIZES
Kearney's Other SonAuto starts
Task: Unlock Kearney's Other Son
Son of Anarchy Pt. 1Kearney's Other Son starts
Barney: I'm tellin' ya, Moe, them animals you got in that petting zoo are vicious.
Barney: Two of them started kicking and biting me when I fed them a cracker.
Moe: Barney, that was two of the kids that did that.
Barney: Maybe you better explain to me the difference between a child and a sheep.
Task: Make Kearney's Other Son Attend Budget Daycare
Time: 12h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Son of Anarchy Pt. 2Moe starts
Moe: Hey, why is my beer delivery still out here on the sidewalk?
Barney: Since he got that disease, the delivery guy said he won't come inside anymore.
Moe: You tell that delivery guy, I got no control over where black mold wants to go!
Homer: Moe, looks like you're gonna need someone with the strength of two men to move that beer delivery before the sun gets to it.
Moe: Or… one unnaturally muscular baby – Kearney's other kid!
Kearney's Other Son: *nod*
Task: Make Kearney's Other Son Move Beer Cases
Time: 24h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Son of Anarchy Pt. 3Kearney's Other Son starts
Barney: Aw, look, all the babies out back are surrounding that big one. So cute.
Moe: Babies got a natural pecking order. They come to know and respect the toughest one of the herd.
Barney: Looks like they're respecting him with a bunch of makeshift weapons!
Moe: Sharpened rattles! Teething ring brass knuckles! A busy-box torture device!
Moe: I gotta get out there and protect my investment!
Moe: And start frisking those little jerks a little better!
Task: Make Moe Break Up a Baby Fight
Time: 2h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Son of Anarchy Pt. 4Moe starts
Moe: Good job stacking those beer kegs, muscle kid Kearney.
Kearney's Other Son: *nod*
Barney: Wow, Moe, you hardly have to lift a finger with that baby around.
Moe: Yeah, I avoided babies all my life, never knowin' I could use them to do all the things I didn't want to do.
Moe: Hey, muscle kid. Clean and jerk Barney like a barbell.
Kearney's Other Son: *nod*
Task: Make Kearney's Other Son Throw Out Drunks
Time: 8h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Son of Anarchy Pt. 5Moe starts
Moe: What's goin' on with all this garbage piling up? My trash rats are all confused!
Moe: Where's that muscle kid? He was supposed be in charge of all this.
Barney: I haven't seen him all morning.
Moe: He's just a baby. A baby that does all my heavy liftin' Where could he be?
Moe: Is that… a hole? No fair! He's been usin' his muscles for escapin'?
Moe: Kids these day just don't want to be illegally worked long hours.
Task: Make Kearney's Other Son Tunnel to Freedom
Time: 4h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Mrs. SinclairAuto starts
Task: Unlock Mrs. Sinclair
A Day at the Laissez-faire Pt. 1 Mrs. Sinclair starts
Mr. Burns: Greetings workers! I have gathered you all to discuss this year's employee efficiency report.
Mr. Burns: To start with… you're all worthless! Your overall scores ranked beneath that of the earthworm!
Lenny: Worms break down waste into usable compost!
Mr. Burns: As I will break you down!
Mr. Burns: And because worms give me the heebie-jeebies, I'm hiring someone to do this for me.
Task: Make Mrs. Sinclair Set Up Shop
Time: 2h
Location: Control Building
A Day at the Laissez-faire Pt. 2Mrs. Sinclair starts
Homer: I don't like the way that “Efficiency Manager” examines our every move.
Carl: No kidding. Especially since we haven't moved all day!
Lenny: Maybe we should move?
Homer: That's a pretty drastic, but yeah… let's show her how hard we can work.
Task: Make Carl Work Harder
Task: Make Lenny Work Harder
Task: Make Homer Try to Look Busy
Time: 4h
Location: Control Building
A Day at the Laissez-faire Pt. 3Mrs. Sinclair starts
Mrs. Sinclair: For a person to prosper, one must embrace the virtue of selfishness.
Mrs. Sinclair: Rules only create barriers. To be truly free, you must adapt the world to your own needs first.
Homer: Everything she's saying belongs on a teabag.
Homer: But if she saying what I think she's saying, we should make up our own work rules.
Mrs. Sinclair: Yes! I call it the Laissez-faire Workday!
Homer: Woo hoo! And I call a 2 hour bathroom break!
Task: Make Carl Work Easier
Task: Make Lenny Work Easier
Task: Make Homer Not Bother to Look Busy
Time: 12h
Location: Control Building
A Day at the Laissez-faire Pt. 4Mrs. Sinclair starts
Carl: This new work policy is great. I'm getting 50% more work done in only twice the time!
Homer: Heh, heh, yeah, I'm saving time at home by getting all my sleep done at work!
Lenny: I don't know what Sinclair's goal is, but I'm fine microwaving ketchup packets all day. Pop-pop-boom!
Task: Make Mrs. Sinclair Write Philosophical Essays
Time: 24h
Location: Blue House
A Day at the Laissez-faire Pt. 5Mrs. Sinclair starts
Mr. Burns: What in the name of Lucifer is going on?! Plant productivity has plummeted!
Mrs. Sinclair: Allow me to explain. Each worker is expected to work for themselves, not for the profit of the company.
Mr. Burns: Wha?!... Not profit for the company? The company is me!
Mr. Burns: She's a witch! Someone draw me a circle of salt and cast her out with flint pebbles!
Task: Make Mrs. Sinclair Find a New Job
Time: 8h
Location: Brown House
Wall E. Weasel'sAuto starts
Bart: Man, I'm bored. No reflection on you, Milhouse.
Milhouse: How ‘bout we have some fun shaving our locker combinations into our hair.
Bart: I'd say keep thinking but I really want you to stop thinking.
Milhouse: Oo! I read in the newspaper that a Wall E. Weasel's is opening up in Springfield. We could go there!?
Bart: Wait… stop… hold on… what 10 year-old kid reads a newspaper?!
Task: Collect Pacifiers and Unlock Wall E. Weasel's
Task: Build Wall E. Weasel's
Task: Make Bart Play Larry the Looter
Task: Make Milhouse Watch Bart Play Larry the Looter
Time: 1h
Location: Wall E. Weasel's
Milhouse: Isn't this video game so cool, Bart?!
Bart: No. This video game is so lame!
Bart: Ok, let's go shave locker combinations in our heads.
Baby GeraldAuto starts
Task: Unlock Baby Gerald
Baby on Board 2: The Quickening Pt. 1Lisa starts
Lisa: I can't believe I'm finally old enough to babysit and my first job is for Maggie's nemesis – Baby Gerald.
Lisa: How bad could a baby really be?
Baby Gerald: *glare*
Task: Make Lisa Babysit Baby Gerald
Task: Make Baby Gerald Watch Happy Little Elves on TV
Time: 1h
Location: Brown House
Baby on Board 2: The Quickening Pt. 2Baby Gerald starts
Homer: Hey Lisa, why is there a creepy baby hanging around our house?
Lisa: I'm babysitting, Dad. And it's not nice to call a baby creepy.
Homer: You're right. Babies can only be smiling, happy bundles of joy--
Baby Gerald: *ominous glare*
Homer: AAAHHH!!
Task: Make Baby Gerald Mess with Maggie's Stuff
Time: 12h
Location: Simpson House
Baby on Board 2: The Quickening Pt. 3Baby Gerald starts
Homer: Nothing like an afternoon at Moe's to get images of creepy, one-eye-browed babies out of your head.
Baby Gerald: *ominous glare*
Homer: AAAHHH! It's that creepy baby! Moe, quick! Give me six more beers!
Moe: Comin' right up.
Moe: Havin' a creepy baby around the bar sure helps the booze bizness.
Task: Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Baby Gerald Drink Formula at Moe's
Time: 8h
Location: Moe's Tavern
Baby on Board 2: The Quickening Pt. 4Baby Gerald starts
Homer: Lisa, you've got to help me! That creepy baby is out to get me!
Lisa: I'm sure you're exaggerating, Dad. There's no way a baby could hurt you.
Homer: I have dozens of scars from when Bart was in diapers!
Lisa: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Gerald already has a nemesis. It's Maggie.
Homer: Oh, what a relief.
Task: Make Maggie Play With Butterflies
Time: 12h
Location: Brown House
Task: Make Baby Gerald Smash Butterflies
Time: 4h
Baby on Board 2: The Quickening Pt. 5Baby Gerald starts
Homer: The creepy baby is still staring at me!
Baby Gerald: *ominous glare*
Maggie: *steady stare*
Homer: That's it, Maggie. Save your overweight Daddy from the 12 pound baby! Use your glare power!
Baby Gerald: *ominous glare*
Maggie: *steady stare*
Homer: This is quite the boring battle.
Task: Make Baby Gerald Fight Maggie
Time: 1h
Requires: Maggie
Baby on Board 2: The Quickening Pt. 6Baby Gerald starts
Lisa: Okay, Gerald, it's time for you to go home!
Homer: Heh, heh, yeah, don't let the door hit you on the way out!
Baby Gerald: *ominous glare*
Homer: Um, I mean… wanna watch me hit my head in the door on your way out?
Maggie: *warning stare*
Baby Gerald: *worried look*
Homer: That's it, Maggie! Stare the plastic pants right off that junior jerk.
Task: Make Baby Gerald Nap With One Eye Open
Time: 24h
Location: Brown House
BONUS
Bonus GiftAuto starts
Act 1 Task: Collect Festive Hats
Act 2 Task: Collect Mistletoe
Act Maggie Special Task: Collect Pacifiers
Reward: 1/2/3 Donuts
