@fidstangYou caught me. I'll give it up now, righteous Champion of Truth. I will tell the whole story...
I woke up, eager to ruin peoples' day. I brushed the snack debris from the night prior out of my beard, and turned on the computer. Before launching the game, I rubbed my hands together and threw in a few fuefuefue's, then promptly flipped the turbo-bot switch on my tower. Upon launching the game, I was thrusted into - you guessed it - Kaleidoscope, and ran for the tallest tower of the lowest pits in Hell. Once there, I looked to the sky, then gazed back down at the battle below me; "Don't be sad... This is just how it works out sometimes," I said, just before I unloaded the full capacity of my PKP-BP onto the helpless below. This has all been a ruse, and it took you to break me. You've done well this day.