I don't remember BioWare romance to ever be all that involved - I reckon it's just a case of your wild fantacies overhyping that leaves you disappointed.
I haven't had any issues with romancing the clear choice of Necro Daddy - He's dapper, has a literal skeleton servant, and always says "Great shot my love!" when I stab stuff and things in combat; it's all I need.
I’m not sure it’s wild fantasies that left most people disappointed, I think it was just that previous games had better pacing, build-up, and then payoff with the romances/friendships, and also more content between the player character and the companions, instead of the ”bonding” banter being between the companions themselves. Rook spends a lot of time eavesdropping and reading diaries and notes. It’s a bit lonely.
I’m trying to start a new run for an Emmerich romance, but I was an (unfortunate) Lucanis romancer for my first run. I don’t think he really changed much after locking in. Blackwall saying “you alright, love?” after combat in Inquisition was more than enough for me, so I’m also a pretty easy to please in that way, I just didn’t get any of that from Veilguard.
