My first step was recovering my EA account and luckily I knew the email and had access. I reset my password but it would never link to the Xbox Gamertag.
Kept saying "Your accounts can’t be linked because your Xbox account ***gamertag**** already linked to your EA Account for bf*****@disabled.ea.com. An EA Account can only be linked to one Xbox account in its lifetime."
I was able to get the EA Chats to work and get it fixed. I changed my issue to the Origin game and said my account was hacked. Then I was able to select my console was MAC even though I was trying to fix my xbox gamertag. If I had selected account issues I was unable to select a console (xbox, ps4.etc) to start a chat.
I had to request my old EA account that was deleted to be unlinked from my gamertag. Then I was able to log in with my original email + new password. Chat advisor was very helpful. Don't believe the 60-70 minute wait as I was connected within minutes. Stay strong because it took me hours to get this far. Insane this is the steps it takes.