I am having this same problem on 360, and the only workaround I've found so far is to delete and re-download retaliation each time I want to play. EA support was not helpful.
See above where I point out a slight workaround to this. Install retaliation on a USB drive. Plug it in after it checks for DLC at the main menu. You can accept invites to friends' games at this point also. You cannot if you go into multiplayer as it will take you back to the main menu momentarily to check and it will freeze as if you came to the menu with Retaliation installed. If you go into multiplayer you will have to host or quick join a random game.
