And there it is: the latest response from EA Help:
"Thanks for contacting EA Help.
My name is Mayank and I'm going to help you with your problem today.
Going forward, we will do our best to respond in time. I reviewed your email and found that you experienced issues in Plants vs Zombies.
I know this is upsetting and I really appreciate your feedback on the game. I will make sure to forward the same to our appropriate department.
As a gamer myself, I certainly understand your concern here and I really appreciate your time and money you spent on the game, but I'm sure you can understand that there's nothing we can do on our side, otherwise I'd love to do it for you. .
As much as I would love to, I won't be able to resolve this for you as this needs to be fixed at a higher level. In the meantime, if you are dissatisfied with the performance of the game, please post the same on the official forum by accessing this link below:
https://www.ea.com/forums
Trust me, the moderation team is collecting data from community and are looking into solutions if they determine enough customers have the issue and the issue is technically resolved with a patch or if a workaround is possible.
As of now for you I have made detailed case notes for this report and forwarded to the concerned department who will look into the matter further and hopefully in the next update they can make the desired changes.
We greatly appreciate your patience and understanding on this matter.
You can also find answers to common questions in our help center at http://help.ea.com or ask our community experts by visiting Answer HQ at http://answers.ea.com .
Thanks again for contacting EA Help."
Except for slotting in a different name, this is word-for-word the exact same response I received earlier - see post #61 in this same thread.
It does not respond to any specific question or acknowledge any of the things I said in my previous messages.
It is clear that nobody actually reads the emails that you send to EA - they are paid to simply send a form letter back and make you go in circles.
Do NOT let this dissuade you from sending (and re-sending) emails to their support however. If you don't report it you definitely won't get help either.
I have responded, though at this point I don't hold out much hope for an intelligent reply:
"It is abundantly clear from your canned response (this is the 2nd time I've been sent an identically-worded email from you) that you do not bother to read, comprehend or understand the content of my emails to you.
Even so, I will continue to ask the same question I have asked 3 times already in the hope that perhaps one of these emails will reach an analyst who actually has the integrity to try and help someone rather than just copy/paste a canned response:
In a previous email to me from help I was told:
"I checked this issue further and it's looks like an ongoing issue. We are receiving similar reports from other players as well and there seems to be some problem.
Good thing is that our game team is aware of the issue and is diligently working to fix it as soon as possible.
Though I know nobody likes to wait but rest assured the issue is been addressed on priority. You have been a valued player of EA and I assure you that team won't take long to fix this."
My questions were:
- Can you advise which department you have forwarded my error report to?
- Can I please have the ticket/job number that has been assigned to this error by this department?
- Can this department advise:
1. What they are doing to resolve the issue?
2. How long they estimate it will take to resolve the issue (I am not asking for an exact timeframe - just a rough estimate is fine).
(Since you have so far not been able to answer the above questions after my asking three times, I'm currently assuming that this earlier email was a lie, that the mystery "department" does not actually have a case open for it, and thus nobody is actively working on resolving this issue. You can prove me wrong by answering my questions.)
In the interim, I will continue to share my experiences with the EA community."