Chapter 3: The Light is On...
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I went to sleep on the couch that night after Red left. My bed was close, but I didn't have the energy to stumble over and find it. My eyes were clouded with tears, and there was no way that I could find it.
My mind was jumbled. I could only see two options after what had happened; Forget it happened, or forget Red. Only during the night did I realize why he had told me that he was sorry. He had a girlfriend, and we could never be together. That was why he had left. I felt terrible. I scolded myself for letting us get close, for giving in when he invited me into his arms. And though I hated myself for it I couldn't help but remember how good it felt in his arms.
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There were several times during the night that I would wake up, and I couldn't get back to sleep. I pushed the couch and the TV out of the way of my easel, and started painting, attempting to clear my mind. It was dark, and my eyes were sore, so I couldn't tell what I was doing, I was just picking the colors and making the brush strokes that felt right. The ones that soothed my aching heart.
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But when I got up in the morning I found that all of the therepy of painting was wasted. When I saw what I had painted it made the pain a hundred thousand times worse. Staring at the now completely red canvas I saw something. A ribbon. Falling. A delicate, silk ribbon, dropping to the ground. Forgotten, forlorned.
I didn't know if Red would understand, but suddenly my mind conjured up an idea, and it was too late for me to stop myself.
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I cleared my eyes enough that I could see the key pad on my phone. Though they were dry, and teary. My nose and forhead hurt, probably my sinuses, they tended to hurt when I cried.
I called Red. He did not answer his home phone, nor did he answer his cell phone. I tried each one several times, before I finally left a message.
I thought I would be able to speak clearly, but my words came out garbled and unitelligible. "I'm so sorry..." I sucked in a breath, "What do you want me to do, Red? I'll do whatever you want? Please don't leave." My body lurched forward, as I released another sob.
I grabbed the painting off of the easel and took it with me, this was a part of my plan. Probably the stupidest part.
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I called a taxi, and got in it, still sobbing. I had written down the address that I wanted to go to, becuase I knew that I wouldn't be able to speak clear enough for the taxi driver to understand me.
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When I arrived at Red's house I knocked on the door several times. I held the painting in front of me, so that if he were to open the door it would be the first thing he saw. It might distract him for long enough that I could talk to him.
Unfortunatly he didn't answer. I didn't know what I was going to do, part of my idea was that he would come to the door and I would give him the painting, but he wasn't coming. I decided against sitting down and waiting for him, and instead I hung the painting up next to his door. I hoped that he would know it was from me.
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I ended the day the same way I started it. Sleeping on the couch. I didn't have the energy to do anything else, even to pull down the sheets on my bed. I had given up. I could barely make out the scent that Red left behind. I hadn't smelled it when I was with him, but now that he was gone it was the most wonderous thing I had ever smelled.
The possibility of being without Red hurt me in the deepest place. It tore at my heart, rendering me helpless. I needed him, I needed his warmpth and his color. I was so plain, I didn't know how I was going to survive in Apple Pie Plains without a Berry to guide me.
......................... Red's POV
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