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Chapter One: Meeting My Nemesis (Part 4)
Making the Town Hate Us
Evil Haruo: Phil is an idiot; mainly he tends to drape himself over others but he got on the wrong side of Bebe Hart with a “heat of the moment” kiss. Boy I could hear Bebe let him have it from a mile away. That girl’s got some good lungs.
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Of course the dimwit tried to pass it off as “he didn’t know what he was doing”. Yeah sure, Phil. Evil_Haruo knows most things and he definitely knows you don’t lay hands on a woman if you want your knackers intact. I’m wondering why Bebe didn’t just free-kick his family pair into low earth-orbit.
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At least then Phil could be useful in the sense that he could sing castrati in a choir…that is if he wasn’t tone-deaf. At least he doesn’t try to sing while doing his morning constitutional since he has the musical tonality of a sick cow and I really don’t want to listen to his braying. I’d be tempted to bury him sixty feet underground just to preserve my hearing.
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Well, there’s nothing like the park for meet n’greets with the rest of the townsfolk. And you know pretty much about the townsfolk of Sunset Valley; they all grind my gears to the point where I just want to exterminate them all. And they all gather here like bees to honey and of course, I just have to come down here...
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...because I’m hungry. ...and so's my brother...and there's food here. Simple logic really...
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Do I happen to give off an evil aura or somethin’? Because I step into the park and who do I spy but Buster Clavell – he’s a whiny old goat that goes around ticking people off just for gits and shiggles. Of course I try to ignore his mutterings but finally it gets me to the point where I go off on him.
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Evil Haruo: Hey...you geriatric old dog, you mind knocking off with your muttering before I clam your mouth up for you?
Buster Clavell: What? How dare you talk to me like that.
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Evil Haruo: I dare all right. I’m trying to enjoy a nice day at the park and your whining, whizzing and moaning is downright starting to jack me up straight-up. If you don’t shut your pie-hole, I’m going to shut it for you.
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Buster Clavell: I’ll have you know that I was a bruiser in my day. I was mopping the floor with losers like you. You won’t lay a finger on me, you miserable piece of human excrement.
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Evil Haruo: Did you just call me a miserable piece of human excrement? I’m going to make you measure your height horizontally in the dirt, you ancient colostomy-bag. I gave him a resounding slap to the left cheek and followed it up with a return-slap with the back of my hand. That oughta make him see stars.
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...and the fight started.
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Buster got the worst of it. Not only was he slow; he was moving like he was encased in a coating of molasses. Maybe he should actually use a cane. What a great way to start the day off at the park; beating up a geriatric.
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Meanwhile the rest of the family was at the park too. Bebe was at work at the Science Center and as such, she was away for nearly all the festivities – yes, there was a festival in town.
Meanwhile, Brooke got into an altercation with the town’s other evil hag, Vita Alto...and frankly, Vita-Mean...had it coming. Nobody does evil like my girl, Brooke, and well, she decided to give Vita a right hook. I don’t know what Vita said that caused that, but well, let’s face it, she ended up flat on the ground.
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Well...that's going to leave a mark.
