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Chapter One: Meeting My Nemesis (Part 6)
"Even a wuss will hit back if pushed enough..."
Evil Haruo: My brother has always been one to shy away from a fight, even though I told him that it wouldn’t help him to not get hit. He’s never really been one to get into it with anyone. That kind of be nice be reasonable attitude will get you walked all over.
I, on the other hand, will walk all over anyone who tries that with me. And now you know just how our family dynamic worked when we were kids. I beat up my brother a lot when we were kids.
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Of course after my tussle with Fried Frio, who else would come along but that festering slob of a dungheap, Beau Andrews, who starts getting into it with my brother. Ordinarily I don’t stand for this – I’d beat the malefactor to a pulp. Only one person should beat up my brother and that’s me. But I feel it’s time for my brother to grow up and learn a vital lesson in life. If you get into it with someone, don’t expect someone to come to your rescue. And if you can’t beat up the guy that’s pestering you, you’re gonna be the one that gets beat up. So...time for my brother to man up and beat the bugger like he’d smash an orange with a hammer: to a pulp.
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Good_Haruo: I don’t wanna fight you, Beau...
Beau Andrews: Ha, everyone told me you were a wuss. Maybe I should slap you silly.
Good_Haruo: Look, why are you picking on me.
Beau Andrews: Because you’re a wimp.
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Evil_Haruo: Are you gonna take that from that two-bit piece of cow-dung? By now I’d be feeding him his happy bits. C’mon, bro. Pin your pair together and jump him.
Good_Haruo: But, I don’t wanna...
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Beau Andrews: Maybe your brother slapped all the brave out of you when you were growing up.
Good_Haruo: Don’t go there, Beau. That has nothing to do with you.
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Beau Andrews: Your brother was right, you’re nothing but a wuss. Maybe your girl here would be more inclined to be with a man like me.
Evil_Haruo: Just for future reference for readers: If you really don’t wanna get your hind-end beaten to an ever-loving pulp: just don’t bring someone’s girl into fight-matters. Guys really don’t like that...and guaranteed it’s going to earn you an ass-whoopin’
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Good_Haruo (snaps): You asked for it...you son-of-a-...
Beau Andrews: Owwwww...where’d you learn to hit like that?
Good_Haruo: Who else... from my brother. Wanna snap off a few more wise-cracks? I got more where that comes from.
Beau Andrews: No more...no more...I take it all back.
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Good_Haruo: Gimme §1000 and I won’t tell your wife.
Evil_Haruo (at Beau): Meow...My bro’s learning; extortion, I’m so proud.
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Evil Haruo: Well...in any case Frio was sobbing like a little fragile flower after the beating I gave him. And of course my brother decides that he’s going to go scare him. OK, I hope he hasn’t bitten off more than he can chew. Beating up that lard-bucket Andrews is one thing, but pounding on Frio, certified bad-mother, is another.
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But it’s truly a day for surprises. My brother puts on a gi with an orange belt. Wait a second, where’d that come from?
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Meanwhile my brother’s girl is pretty much ripping Beau Andrews a new hole to excrete from.
River McIrish: Just where the hell do you get off thinking I’d even consider you as a potential matchup. You festering heap of pig-dung.
Beau Andrews: Wait...what?
River McIrish: I wouldn’t even give you the time of day. You’re a gross sleazebag.
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Evil Haruo: Then my brother promptly stomped Frio's hind-end. Didn't know he had it in him.
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Yep, the Chikamori family is not one to get trifled with...and we’re going to turn Sunset Valley completely upside down. We’re pretty much a family right here right now. Nobody’s gonna mess with one of us because they’ll get all of us jumping their rear-ends.
