The Chikamori Legacy (The Sanitized Version)
Prologue - "Seeds of Dissent" Part I (Author's Note: "This is the clean, sanitized version with no links back to my blog - meaning no contraventions against rules) Vancouver, BC, Canada - 1988 ...
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Chapter One: “Love and Loss” - Part III
Central Park
Haruo after spending some time with his grandmother walked through the woods of Central Park wondering about the passage of time. Grandma had looked exceedingly frail in his eyes; a fragile figurine stooped with age. Lost in the midst of his own mind wandering, he’d come upon the bridge in the park.
https://i.imgur.com/Q6yFl0B.jpg
Yet his grandmother’s mind, with all that experience was keen and sharp and her wisdom; her ability to help him set his course and counsel him on life’s choices, was undulled. She was a treasure and he felt as though he would be forced to give up much more than his grandmother when she finally died.
https://i.imgur.com/5kYbMTR.jpg
What was his grandmother to Haruo? A teacher who taught him his very first words in Japanese; a mother since his own mother was busy teaching others and couldn’t be bothered; a counselor who helped him through all of life’s problems with her wit and wisdom.
https://i.imgur.com/eE2bfLz.jpg
He sighed deeply as he looked out over the pond where the fish were lazily swimming around in figure eights and oblong racetrack patterns. It seemed too soon, even after eighteen years of life to think of his grandmother no longer being there. Instantly, he regretted all the times he’d wished his birthday would arrive sooner unknowingly; now realizing that each of those days to those eighteen birthdays was a day he wished back just so he could have more time to spend with his grandmother.
“Hey…”.
“Hi…” Haruo turned around to see Bebe watching him.
https://i.imgur.com/m5RO0Ss.jpg
“You OK?”
Haruo sighed deeply, he cleared his voice. He didn’t want his voice to crack with the emotion he was feeling at this point. “I was just with my grandma...” he trailed off...he trailed off...he didn’t need to say it. Bebe could see the pain in his eyes that he knew that his grandmother didn’t have much longer.
https://i.imgur.com/7RXjtd1.jpg
Bebe nodded silently,
https://i.imgur.com/3ZzloHo.jpg
...receiving the news that Haruo's grandmother wasn't doing well through the inference of Haruo’s expression in his eyes hit her harder than she suspected as a fountain of emotion and sympathy welled up in her; she remembered the little old Japanese lady who used to walk tirelessly it seemed ten to fifteen blocks to the local food mart to get her groceries and the Japanese man, who was her husband.
“She’s not as well as she’s trying to let on…” Haruo said softly.
https://i.imgur.com/7fO1hzP.jpg
Bebe just put her arms around the waist of her classmate in a tight hug, her chin resting on his shoulder, her cheek tight against his, “I’m sorry…” was all she said. There really were no words to be spoken here.
https://i.imgur.com/FFGLJNV.jpg
“I don’t know what to do when she goes…” Bebe felt his shoulders shake and tightened her arms around his waist.
“She means a lot to you…” Bebe observed as she looked at him, “It’s gotta be hard to see her like this…”
“My mom doesn’t care. She hardly went to see my grandmother, her own mother, for God’s sake!” He looked at Bebe.
“You’ll never understand your mother, she’s always been like this.”
“I don’t…and I never hope that I end up like that; uncaring and unfeeling.”
https://i.imgur.com/kGYNBXE.jpg
Bebe turned Haruo around to face her, her cheek tight against his as they held that embrace, “You won’t, you’re not like that. You have empathy towards others, you care about other people. How many times have you helped others with their English homework or sat there while others complained about how tough their lives were, listening to them vent without uttering a peep? That shows you are better than your mother. We’re going into university whether you go this year or next year. So take time with your grandma while she’s still here.” She pulled him into a tight embrace, “If you need me, I’ll be here for you.” She looked up at him and saw a hint of surprise. With the turmoil his heart was in, he wasn’t thinking straight.
https://i.imgur.com/JkKm0lY.jpg
He leaned in…as if to…
https://i.imgur.com/nXrMJmG.jpg
His breath caressing her face snapped her out of the trance she was in.
https://i.imgur.com/DfC2ISA.jpg
Bebe wanted this but she knew she wouldn’t forgive herself if she let him…kiss her. As much as she wanted him, she knew he was River’s more than even he knew it. He was blissfully unaware of how River felt about him and Bebe could have just swooped in and snapped him up to be her own but the good in her won out over her desires. Haruo was River’s and she was just the friend. The agony of the friend-zone.
https://i.imgur.com/IK4dBIm.jpg
“No…Haruo…what would you say to River…” her face held a look of anguish as she drew back from the embrace. It had been so close and she was shaking. Their moving out of the embrace was reluctant though. But there was a sense of confusion in Haruo’s look. “I…I can’t do this to River.” Bebe explained further.
https://i.imgur.com/PwLRjZk.jpg
“What do you mean?” Haruo’s mind was spinning. He was attracted to Bebe - she was stunningly gorgeous and sweet and she was one of his dearest friends and he’d so wanted her.
https://i.imgur.com/ljeabVN.jpg
I can’t…” Bebe said; tears in her eyes - the reply torn out of her very soul – she felt actual physical pain in saying that. “River...she’s in love with you…” Bebe gesticulated with her hands as she tried to control her emotions that just wanted to push her over the edge of reasoning and catapult her into Haruo’s arms, never letting him go. Why does it have to be like this? Why do I always rationalize myself out of relationships that I want? Why do I always have to be the good girl and make way for others when I want him too?
https://i.imgur.com/DNjqFVy.jpg
“What?” Haruo’s response was one of shock and disbelief. “She’s a friend…at least that’s the only sign she ever gave off to me. Are you sure?”
https://i.imgur.com/FbWXqOY.jpg
“Positive…” Bebe couldn’t tell her classmate just how much she loved him too; how much she wanted him - they were both young adults; both were able to partake in carnal activities with mutual consent without recrimination. But River had known him longer and would have been devastated if he had chosen Bebe, thus Bebe was torn between a rock and a hard place.
https://i.imgur.com/eA5MTbQ.jpg
Hanged if I do, hanged if I don’t. Why does it always work out this way with any of the guys I like. “She always talks about you when she and I hang out. In fact you’re all she ever wants to talk about.”
https://i.imgur.com/Iu4FrTq.jpg
Haruo was shocked that he would be the topic of conversation amongst his two best friends. None of the other popular girls seemed to care for him as much as Bebe and River. Besides he was one of maybe two Asians in the entire school of 300 students and hey, according to statistics Asian males weren’t considered relationship material. So maybe it shouldn’t have come so much as a surprise to him.
https://i.imgur.com/HVVrIX8.jpg
Bebe sighed, Guys are so dense when it came to relationships. She shook her head. River’s main problem was that she was so reticent about even mentioning the fact that she liked Haruo in that way. If she wasn’t going to make the first move, Bebe would have to let Haruo know of River’s interest in him herself. Bebe really didn’t want to have to be the wingman in this, but to her moral uprightness – the angel on her shoulder that told her “that was the only choice she had if she didn’t want to lose River as a friend through betrayal” vs the devil that tempted her to just grab Haruo and never let him go. “Talk to her…” Bebe said, her own heart in pieces because Haruo was that guy that she wanted too. But damned if River hadn’t found him first.
https://i.imgur.com/zypJmg2.jpg
“I gotta go…” she leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek - that’s the safest course of action, she rationalized to herself.
https://i.imgur.com/4F4po3K.jpg
Fate dictates our future.
Central Park
Haruo after spending some time with his grandmother walked through the woods of Central Park wondering about the passage of time. Grandma had looked exceedingly frail in his eyes; a fragile figurine stooped with age. Lost in the midst of his own mind wandering, he’d come upon the bridge in the park.
https://i.imgur.com/Q6yFl0B.jpg
Yet his grandmother’s mind, with all that experience was keen and sharp and her wisdom; her ability to help him set his course and counsel him on life’s choices, was undulled. She was a treasure and he felt as though he would be forced to give up much more than his grandmother when she finally died.
https://i.imgur.com/5kYbMTR.jpg
What was his grandmother to Haruo? A teacher who taught him his very first words in Japanese; a mother since his own mother was busy teaching others and couldn’t be bothered; a counselor who helped him through all of life’s problems with her wit and wisdom.
https://i.imgur.com/eE2bfLz.jpg
He sighed deeply as he looked out over the pond where the fish were lazily swimming around in figure eights and oblong racetrack patterns. It seemed too soon, even after eighteen years of life to think of his grandmother no longer being there. Instantly, he regretted all the times he’d wished his birthday would arrive sooner unknowingly; now realizing that each of those days to those eighteen birthdays was a day he wished back just so he could have more time to spend with his grandmother.
“Hey…”.
“Hi…” Haruo turned around to see Bebe watching him.
https://i.imgur.com/m5RO0Ss.jpg
“You OK?”
Haruo sighed deeply, he cleared his voice. He didn’t want his voice to crack with the emotion he was feeling at this point. “I was just with my grandma...” he trailed off...he trailed off...he didn’t need to say it. Bebe could see the pain in his eyes that he knew that his grandmother didn’t have much longer.
https://i.imgur.com/7RXjtd1.jpg
Bebe nodded silently,
https://i.imgur.com/3ZzloHo.jpg
...receiving the news that Haruo's grandmother wasn't doing well through the inference of Haruo’s expression in his eyes hit her harder than she suspected as a fountain of emotion and sympathy welled up in her; she remembered the little old Japanese lady who used to walk tirelessly it seemed ten to fifteen blocks to the local food mart to get her groceries and the Japanese man, who was her husband.
“She’s not as well as she’s trying to let on…” Haruo said softly.
https://i.imgur.com/7fO1hzP.jpg
Bebe just put her arms around the waist of her classmate in a tight hug, her chin resting on his shoulder, her cheek tight against his, “I’m sorry…” was all she said. There really were no words to be spoken here.
https://i.imgur.com/FFGLJNV.jpg
“I don’t know what to do when she goes…” Bebe felt his shoulders shake and tightened her arms around his waist.
“She means a lot to you…” Bebe observed as she looked at him, “It’s gotta be hard to see her like this…”
“My mom doesn’t care. She hardly went to see my grandmother, her own mother, for God’s sake!” He looked at Bebe.
“You’ll never understand your mother, she’s always been like this.”
“I don’t…and I never hope that I end up like that; uncaring and unfeeling.”
https://i.imgur.com/kGYNBXE.jpg
Bebe turned Haruo around to face her, her cheek tight against his as they held that embrace, “You won’t, you’re not like that. You have empathy towards others, you care about other people. How many times have you helped others with their English homework or sat there while others complained about how tough their lives were, listening to them vent without uttering a peep? That shows you are better than your mother. We’re going into university whether you go this year or next year. So take time with your grandma while she’s still here.” She pulled him into a tight embrace, “If you need me, I’ll be here for you.” She looked up at him and saw a hint of surprise. With the turmoil his heart was in, he wasn’t thinking straight.
https://i.imgur.com/JkKm0lY.jpg
He leaned in…as if to…
https://i.imgur.com/nXrMJmG.jpg
His breath caressing her face snapped her out of the trance she was in.
https://i.imgur.com/DfC2ISA.jpg
Bebe wanted this but she knew she wouldn’t forgive herself if she let him…kiss her. As much as she wanted him, she knew he was River’s more than even he knew it. He was blissfully unaware of how River felt about him and Bebe could have just swooped in and snapped him up to be her own but the good in her won out over her desires. Haruo was River’s and she was just the friend. The agony of the friend-zone.
https://i.imgur.com/IK4dBIm.jpg
“No…Haruo…what would you say to River…” her face held a look of anguish as she drew back from the embrace. It had been so close and she was shaking. Their moving out of the embrace was reluctant though. But there was a sense of confusion in Haruo’s look. “I…I can’t do this to River.” Bebe explained further.
https://i.imgur.com/PwLRjZk.jpg
“What do you mean?” Haruo’s mind was spinning. He was attracted to Bebe - she was stunningly gorgeous and sweet and she was one of his dearest friends and he’d so wanted her.
https://i.imgur.com/ljeabVN.jpg
I can’t…” Bebe said; tears in her eyes - the reply torn out of her very soul – she felt actual physical pain in saying that. “River...she’s in love with you…” Bebe gesticulated with her hands as she tried to control her emotions that just wanted to push her over the edge of reasoning and catapult her into Haruo’s arms, never letting him go. Why does it have to be like this? Why do I always rationalize myself out of relationships that I want? Why do I always have to be the good girl and make way for others when I want him too?
https://i.imgur.com/DNjqFVy.jpg
“What?” Haruo’s response was one of shock and disbelief. “She’s a friend…at least that’s the only sign she ever gave off to me. Are you sure?”
https://i.imgur.com/FbWXqOY.jpg
“Positive…” Bebe couldn’t tell her classmate just how much she loved him too; how much she wanted him - they were both young adults; both were able to partake in carnal activities with mutual consent without recrimination. But River had known him longer and would have been devastated if he had chosen Bebe, thus Bebe was torn between a rock and a hard place.
https://i.imgur.com/eA5MTbQ.jpg
Hanged if I do, hanged if I don’t. Why does it always work out this way with any of the guys I like. “She always talks about you when she and I hang out. In fact you’re all she ever wants to talk about.”
https://i.imgur.com/Iu4FrTq.jpg
Haruo was shocked that he would be the topic of conversation amongst his two best friends. None of the other popular girls seemed to care for him as much as Bebe and River. Besides he was one of maybe two Asians in the entire school of 300 students and hey, according to statistics Asian males weren’t considered relationship material. So maybe it shouldn’t have come so much as a surprise to him.
https://i.imgur.com/HVVrIX8.jpg
Bebe sighed, Guys are so dense when it came to relationships. She shook her head. River’s main problem was that she was so reticent about even mentioning the fact that she liked Haruo in that way. If she wasn’t going to make the first move, Bebe would have to let Haruo know of River’s interest in him herself. Bebe really didn’t want to have to be the wingman in this, but to her moral uprightness – the angel on her shoulder that told her “that was the only choice she had if she didn’t want to lose River as a friend through betrayal” vs the devil that tempted her to just grab Haruo and never let him go. “Talk to her…” Bebe said, her own heart in pieces because Haruo was that guy that she wanted too. But damned if River hadn’t found him first.
https://i.imgur.com/zypJmg2.jpg
“I gotta go…” she leaned up and gave him a peck on the cheek - that’s the safest course of action, she rationalized to herself.
https://i.imgur.com/4F4po3K.jpg
Fate dictates our future.
