The Chikamori Legacy (The Sanitized Version)
Prologue - "Seeds of Dissent" Part I (Author's Note: "This is the clean, sanitized version with no links back to my blog - meaning no contraventions against rules) Vancouver, BC, Canada - 1988 ...
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Chapter One: “Love and Loss” - Part IX
https://i.imgur.com/N2VGGNi.jpg
“How long have we been friends? Haruo?” River glared at him.
https://i.imgur.com/twvgFzn.jpg
“Since we were four and a half, though it seems longer…”. Haruo noted; his shoulders were tense and it appeared that he wasn’t in the mood to be conciliatory.
https://i.imgur.com/w5zkYC4.jpg
“And in that amount of time you never in the least felt anything for me?” She looked at him directly.
There was the minefield. Mayumi had beaten down his self-esteem to the point where he didn’t feel he deserved anyone, that anyone who would even think about being with him was settling for a broken fragment shell of a man who was just doing his best to get through life the best he knew how, with the least amount of psychological pain. Better to go through life alone than to have to figure out a way to tell River that he was irretrievably broken. He had anger issues and he figured that he was dangerous if provoked. Better that she find someone else than for him to risk being uncontrollably angry one of these days and do something he regretted. In fact after a few nights of thinking about it, he was glad that Bebe hadn't pressed him to be her boyfriend either. He was too broken for either of them. He didn't deserve either of them.
https://i.imgur.com/5RzNGeA.jpg
“I’m not good for you!” He snapped frustrated at his wit’s end. He did not feel up to playing word games, he was irritated from all the mind games and abuse that he’d endured since childhood from someone who was supposed to care about him. He was angered because his mother decided that she was going to demand money out of him that he had no intention of giving her and that he had made plans to not stay in his parents' house a second longer than was necessary. And now River was wanting him to commit when he had no idea of who he was or what he wanted to be, and wanting an answer right now; he was completely aggravated and frustrated.
https://i.imgur.com/jIhj91w.jpg
“You wanna date a powder keg? What kept me from punching a hole in the wall in my mother’s house was the fact that I had nowhere to go if I didn’t save up whatever money I could scrounge up from selling fruits and vegetables at the corner store. That was my hope; to get away and be able to be by myself; not have to answer to anyone.” The pent-up anger was roiling looking for an outlet.
https://i.imgur.com/zDI7nLB.jpg
“And you think you’ll be able to overcome this by yourself?!” River’s jaw set in a stubborn frown. “I see you’ve been doing a great job so far!” The sarcasm in her voice was cutting.
https://i.imgur.com/BRy9CfD.jpg
“What I want is for people to leave me the eff'n hell alone!” Haruo exploded.
https://i.imgur.com/lzVbXDX.jpg
“And pushing people who love you away is the way to go about doing that. Inflict pain so you don’t have to feel a effin' thing?!” River yelled at him; the hurt rising up again from hearing about Haruo nearly kissing Bebe.
https://i.imgur.com/uuedf3D.jpg
“Is that what you effin' want?!”
https://i.imgur.com/6ak7nLV.jpg
“I don’t know what I want!” Haruo snarled viciously.
https://i.imgur.com/G23e2NG.jpg
“All I know is that I want some peace and quiet!” Sure it was the complete opposite of how he’d approached Bebe. But to tell the truth, he had no idea about what he wanted, other than the fact that he was getting a splitting headache (which he didn't want). They’d managed to get all the boxes in already. “I should get you back to your Mom.”
https://i.imgur.com/9fVRAHq.jpg
“Sure, run away from all your problems. That’s not going to get you very far.” River’s tone was bitter. “And pushing away those who cared for you isn’t a way to go through life!”
https://i.imgur.com/3gdQV8s.jpg
Haruo didn’t say a thing other than tell her to get in the truck and locked the door to the mobile home. Their drive back to the house was in tense silence. He hoped that he’d given River enough pause to rethink her thoughts about dating him. He was a broken man, and didn’t need to be tied down to a relationship that sooner or later was going to result in her rethinking the whole thing, better to nip that flower in the bud before it could even open its petals. When he dropped her off, he said,
https://i.imgur.com/digYKPO.jpg
“I’ll give you and your mother a place to get your legs under you, but that’s all I’m promising.”
https://i.imgur.com/k1pvh7s.jpg
“How generous of you…” River said, her tone bitter and angry, her arms crossed at mid-waist tightly to keep from falling apart. “I’ll see what I can do to help her and we’ll be out of your hair as soon as we can.”
https://i.imgur.com/gC8E1dM.jpg
She saw him turn the engine on and put his van into drive. She watched the van drive out the driveway and onto the street. It turned the corner and out of sight...
https://i.imgur.com/2HjRnhQ.jpg
...before her vision blurred and she swiped angry tears from her eyes.
https://i.imgur.com/0q2iBpj.jpg
Fiona hurried over to her daughter, “What’s the matter?”
“He doesn’t love me…” River wept as she buried her face in her mother’s shirt, holding on tightly to her mother, wracking sobs shaking her frame.
“I’m sorry, honey….what happened?”
River couldn’t speak since she was too distraught so Fiona just held her daughter.
https://i.imgur.com/N2VGGNi.jpg
“How long have we been friends? Haruo?” River glared at him.
https://i.imgur.com/twvgFzn.jpg
“Since we were four and a half, though it seems longer…”. Haruo noted; his shoulders were tense and it appeared that he wasn’t in the mood to be conciliatory.
https://i.imgur.com/w5zkYC4.jpg
“And in that amount of time you never in the least felt anything for me?” She looked at him directly.
There was the minefield. Mayumi had beaten down his self-esteem to the point where he didn’t feel he deserved anyone, that anyone who would even think about being with him was settling for a broken fragment shell of a man who was just doing his best to get through life the best he knew how, with the least amount of psychological pain. Better to go through life alone than to have to figure out a way to tell River that he was irretrievably broken. He had anger issues and he figured that he was dangerous if provoked. Better that she find someone else than for him to risk being uncontrollably angry one of these days and do something he regretted. In fact after a few nights of thinking about it, he was glad that Bebe hadn't pressed him to be her boyfriend either. He was too broken for either of them. He didn't deserve either of them.
https://i.imgur.com/5RzNGeA.jpg
“I’m not good for you!” He snapped frustrated at his wit’s end. He did not feel up to playing word games, he was irritated from all the mind games and abuse that he’d endured since childhood from someone who was supposed to care about him. He was angered because his mother decided that she was going to demand money out of him that he had no intention of giving her and that he had made plans to not stay in his parents' house a second longer than was necessary. And now River was wanting him to commit when he had no idea of who he was or what he wanted to be, and wanting an answer right now; he was completely aggravated and frustrated.
https://i.imgur.com/jIhj91w.jpg
“You wanna date a powder keg? What kept me from punching a hole in the wall in my mother’s house was the fact that I had nowhere to go if I didn’t save up whatever money I could scrounge up from selling fruits and vegetables at the corner store. That was my hope; to get away and be able to be by myself; not have to answer to anyone.” The pent-up anger was roiling looking for an outlet.
https://i.imgur.com/zDI7nLB.jpg
“And you think you’ll be able to overcome this by yourself?!” River’s jaw set in a stubborn frown. “I see you’ve been doing a great job so far!” The sarcasm in her voice was cutting.
https://i.imgur.com/BRy9CfD.jpg
“What I want is for people to leave me the eff'n hell alone!” Haruo exploded.
https://i.imgur.com/lzVbXDX.jpg
“And pushing people who love you away is the way to go about doing that. Inflict pain so you don’t have to feel a effin' thing?!” River yelled at him; the hurt rising up again from hearing about Haruo nearly kissing Bebe.
https://i.imgur.com/uuedf3D.jpg
“Is that what you effin' want?!”
https://i.imgur.com/6ak7nLV.jpg
“I don’t know what I want!” Haruo snarled viciously.
https://i.imgur.com/G23e2NG.jpg
“All I know is that I want some peace and quiet!” Sure it was the complete opposite of how he’d approached Bebe. But to tell the truth, he had no idea about what he wanted, other than the fact that he was getting a splitting headache (which he didn't want). They’d managed to get all the boxes in already. “I should get you back to your Mom.”
https://i.imgur.com/9fVRAHq.jpg
“Sure, run away from all your problems. That’s not going to get you very far.” River’s tone was bitter. “And pushing away those who cared for you isn’t a way to go through life!”
https://i.imgur.com/3gdQV8s.jpg
Haruo didn’t say a thing other than tell her to get in the truck and locked the door to the mobile home. Their drive back to the house was in tense silence. He hoped that he’d given River enough pause to rethink her thoughts about dating him. He was a broken man, and didn’t need to be tied down to a relationship that sooner or later was going to result in her rethinking the whole thing, better to nip that flower in the bud before it could even open its petals. When he dropped her off, he said,
https://i.imgur.com/digYKPO.jpg
“I’ll give you and your mother a place to get your legs under you, but that’s all I’m promising.”
https://i.imgur.com/k1pvh7s.jpg
“How generous of you…” River said, her tone bitter and angry, her arms crossed at mid-waist tightly to keep from falling apart. “I’ll see what I can do to help her and we’ll be out of your hair as soon as we can.”
https://i.imgur.com/gC8E1dM.jpg
She saw him turn the engine on and put his van into drive. She watched the van drive out the driveway and onto the street. It turned the corner and out of sight...
https://i.imgur.com/2HjRnhQ.jpg
...before her vision blurred and she swiped angry tears from her eyes.
https://i.imgur.com/0q2iBpj.jpg
Fiona hurried over to her daughter, “What’s the matter?”
“He doesn’t love me…” River wept as she buried her face in her mother’s shirt, holding on tightly to her mother, wracking sobs shaking her frame.
“I’m sorry, honey….what happened?”
River couldn’t speak since she was too distraught so Fiona just held her daughter.
