The Red Winged Angels

Chapter4.10 - Big Little Girl
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Sia - Big Girls Cry

Natalie woke up the next morning by a phone call. It wasn't Elisa this time..

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Natalie (still not fully awake): Hello, it's Natalie...

Sara: Hello, Natalie! How are you? Is everything ok?
Natalie: Oh, $%# doctor... I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry... I'll uh.. I'll be there shortly...

Sara: That's good to hear, Natalie. I was getting worried when you didn't show up.. I'll see you soon then, Natalie!

Natalie quickly took a shower and ate her breakfast as fast as she could, before hurrying out the door and to the hospital..

At the doctors office:

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Natalie: Oh, I'm so sorry, doctor, I'm so sorry..

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Sara: Don't worry about it, Natalie, you are here now! And please, call me Sara...

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Sara: So, Natalie, I hope you have brought and filled out the form I gave you last time..

Natalie: Oh, oh.. yes, doctor, I have it right here..

Natalie hands the papers to Sara.

Sara: Please, Natalie.. call me Sara..

Sara takes a look at the screening papers and what Natalie answered while typing something on her computer.

Sara: Hmm..

Natalie: Is... is something wrong doctor?
Sara: No, no, I mean, nothing that we can't.. cure.. I'm just.. reading through..
Natalie watches the doctor anxiously.

Sara: Ok, ok.. I'm going to be honest with you Natalie, so please, bear with me..

https://i.imgur.com/4HoJVv8.jpg
Sara: According to your answers you have some mild symptoms of depression..and your score is pretty high for PTSD.. that's post traumatic stress disorder. You have a moderate score for anxiety and a moderate to high score for psychosis or schizophrenia..

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Natalie: What... what does that mean? Are you going to put me on drugs? Or lock me up? I don't want to be...

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Sara: Oh, Natalie, dear... I'm not going to 'lock you up' as you put it, but I am going to have to look at the possibility that you will get better with taking medicine in combination with therapy..

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Natalie: I am ...I am scared of medicine. I don't want to stop being myself and turn into a zombie...

https://i.imgur.com/ygUWZPn.jpg
Sara: Well, I can guarantee you won't turn into a zombie, neither in the literal sense or otherwise.. but unfortunately, the medicine does have a few side effects.. but I honestly think it will be better for you, and your children as well, if you choose to go on mediciation...

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Natalie: So.. I have a choice?

Sara: Yes, Natalie. You have a choice. I can only offer you treatment, I can't command you to treatment.

Natalie: So.... what happens now? What does the medicine do?

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Sara: Well, it's....

Sara pauses, before she continues.

Sara:...ok, I will set you up for a new appointment and you will start psychotherapy with me. And you will not have to talk to anyone else but me, unless you would want to, of course. And I think, based on some of what you answered that I will offer you a medication called Flupnaprazoline*. Don't worry, you won't have to remember that. I will give you a receipt and you can just show it to the pharmacy downstairs, and they will find it for you, easy as pie.



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Natalie But what does the medication do? I'm not taking anything before I know what it does!

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Sara: Well, the bad news first.. there are some side effects.. The first days of taking the medicine you may feel drowsy, dizzy and even experience blurry vision. Do you have a drivers licence Natalie?

Natalie: Yes, but I don't own a car...

Sara: Either way, I would advise you to be careful with driving, atleast the first days until these effects start to wear off.. You may also notice a drier mouth than usual, increased heartbeat and sensitivity to sunlight..

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Natalie: So it won't make me a zombie, but it will make me a vampire?

https://i.imgur.com/WRYbIIF.jpg

Sara: Hahaha, I'm sorry for laughing Natalie, but no, you won't become a vampire..

Sara: However, you may experience skin rashes, increased breast size, and you know, irregularities in your period, as well as a decreased desire for intimacy...

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Natalie: Oh, that won't be a problem for me, I haven't had a good #$&%@ in years!

Sara: Oh, I .. uh, see..

Sara became a little embarassed by Natalies sudden outspokenness.

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Natalie: But what good things does it do, doctor?

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Sara: Ah, yes.. you will notice already within a few days that your.. well, that your hallucinations will begin to fade.. you will less and less often see or hear things that others aren't noticing... and within six weeks or so, most people that take this medication report that their hallucinations and delusions are completely gone..

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Natalie: So.. does this mean that I will no longer get visits from the nun-demon lady, and that I will no longer have the feeling of being watched and followed.. and no longer have to fear that someone or something wants me dead?
Sara: That sounds correct, yes.

https://i.imgur.com/KSEQyq0.jpg

Natalie: But what about Elisa? She has been such a good friend to me.. she even called me yesterday to say that... to say that..

Natalie: I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I can't....

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Natalie: Its just that no one has ever... I have never heard.. I have never felt that... she said that she... she..

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Sara: What did she say to you, Natalie? Can you tell me?

Natalie: She said that she.... (Natalie whispers, her lips barely moving)... she loves me...

Sara: I am so sorry, Natalie, but.. Elisa will probably fade away too...

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Natalie: I never heard that... my mommy didn't.... *sniffle* ... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.... I said to much...

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Sara: No, no, not at all Natalie.. that is excactly why I am here.. to listen to what you have to say...please, go on... what was it your mommy didn't do?

Natalie: Oh, my mommy did a lot of things, but she never told... she never said.. I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I just can't...

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Sara: So, so... it's ok Natalie, I won't push you any further...

Sara gets up to collect a paper from the printer.

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Sara:I think I will have to give you the receipt for the medicine for now, Natalie. Please, pick it up downstairs, and... I will see you again same time, next week. Please, sweet Natalie, take care of yourself and... if there is anything, don't hesitate to call. Alright?

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Natalie: Alright, doctor...

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Sara: Good, see you next week, Natalie. Take care...