The Thorn of Secrets
Author's Notes ** I wanted to try something different in my sims3 game play and have discovered that once being terrified of supernatural EP (those Zombies just creep me out), now I'm in love wi...
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@Mikezumi - This chapter is defiantly for you ;)
Chapter 12 – Sleeping with the Enemy
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After spending time with Jade and their talk Michael had a day off from classes so he decided to enjoy a jog around the campus, he loved being outdoors regardless of the weather, Jogging allowed him to clear his mind and embrace mother nature as he always did when he was hurting. He knew he burned inside, as much as he wanted to talk to Jag he didn’t want to see him anymore, yet something deeper inside of him was boiling, he kept pushing it shut, sinking it deeper into his core.
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As Michael walked back into his room and opened the door he lost his breath from the surprise, seeing Jagger standing at the end of the room.
“What are you doing here” Michael said trying not to show any emotions.
Jag could see Michael was angry, hurting and he knew he had every right to be. But he couldn’t bare the pain that was eating away at his own core anymore, his guilt had got the better off him and he wanted to get it off his chest, he knew Michael would have been feeling the same in a round about way.
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“Mike please… you know deep down inside we need this aired” Jag replied feeling the crushing blow that was slowly coming to surface from his own pains, pains he wasn’t use to.
“JAG you hurt me!.... YOU betrayed me!!!..... How I don’t know I don’t get what happened but inside I feel pain, it’s hurts it HURTS far greater than my brothers death. I trusted you.. I can’t do this I can’t Jag you were the one person I truly thought was my friend.” Michael said in an angry tone.
As much as Jag could see he was angry he kept pressing, in hopes he would find it deep down in his core to forgive him.
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“Mike please.. give me a chance to explain.. Complete TRUTH.. I didn’t tell you everything and it’s turned to bite me, bite me hard.. please, hear me out” Jag said surprised at his own slight desperation in his voice.
“I TRUSTED YOU!!!” Michael felt his own pains surfacing, slowly letting it pour forward.
“I know, Mike it’s hard for me to explain everything in black and white when it’s not.. It’s all intertwined.. all messed up and muddled up in ways I cannot understand too. But I did not ever want to see you get hurt, ever I swear on my own ……. children’s lives.”
“You…. have children” Michael asked surprised to learn something new about Jag.
Jagger knew he could trust Michael even past his anger, so he didn’t hold back from being truthful with him
“YES but that’s for another time, I want to talk to you now about us, our situation” Jagger said to bring the point back to their misunderstanding.
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Michael still angry and hurting, “SEE secrets you all have secrets ... I'm sick of it I just want” he stopped knowing he burned with questions and he wanted answers. Seeing Jagger in front of him he wanted answers and he wanted them now.
“Jag… When you said not to go with a vampire woman was that because your kind can bite to turn me”
“YES Mike, vampires as well as werewolves have a cursed bite, it takes away you’re human capacity, by the next full moon you are a full supernatural”.
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“So would you..”
“NO!” Jagger interrupted him knowing what he was going to say.
“NO Mike I like you just the way you are, why do you think I would tell you to avoid them? I want you just how you are” Jag said again to insinuate the point.
Michael could see Jagger was hurting, he never saw this side to him and looking into his eyes he could feel that pain, the same kind of pain he was bottling up. He felt his own heart sink a little.
“Jag.. i… I missed you..I really do, I am sorry, I know deep inside you are a true friend to me, I still feel it but I'm confused, the pain hurts….. I've been with girls, you were right they feel great.. AND they sc*rew with your mind, I even got attacked by one, she accused me of being her boyfriend when we only fooled around.”
Michael noticed he was babbling but he didn’t want to stop the painful feelings that were surfacing, he wanted it out of his system.
Jagger much calmer to his own voice, yet still hurting replied
“Yes Mike they do. They tear your heart up in ways you want to bite yourself to stop the pain. But they have their good values too.”
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“Jag I'm so sorry…”
“Mike I am the one who is sorry. Please I need to get off my chest what has been eating at me, to apologize..i never wanted you to get hurt and what happened, could have been worse” I am the one who is very sorry.
“Was Luther trying to kill me?” Michael blurt out wanting to know answers.
“YES” Jag replied honestly
“WHY” What have I done to him?” Michael asked in confusion.
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“Mike it’s not you.. it’s” Jagger sighed he knew he had to spill his inner core, he knew he wanted to and as much as he hated being put in this position, he didn’t want that pain anymore either, as it tore him apart he knew it would be information that would cloud Michael's mind but he knew he had to let him know, to be truthful.
“Mike.. My father has been like this since I was born; I don’t know why he hates me so much… he was the reason…. My …..mother …..was killed in front of me.. he…“ Jagger struggled to speak, he gained control of his mind again and pressed on.
“He torments me daily, he plays games all the time in his own jealousy and anger, it’s not towards you directly it’s to hurt ME, to satisfy his own selfish desires. I can tell you this much he will never bother you again… If he does he will have my uncle the Emperor to deal with”.
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“Wait…Jag… you’re.. Royal blood” Michael asked shocked to learn that Jagger was of royalty.
“Yes Mike my mother is one of the oldest and purest vampire bloodlines ever to have existed, when she died I am her only living heir, my uncle protects me always has and after that dreaded gathering, I spoke with him, he has warned Luther if he goes near you again he will personally deal with him. Mind you my father is his only brother, our line has slowly died out over the years, this is why I have so much pressure on me, to build a hierarchy, to find the best blood to make future royalties..”
Michael could see Jagger was being truthful and felt that warmth seeping through his core, the same one he felt always with him, he could see Jagger was hurting as much as he was. He felt his own walls slowly coming down.
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“Jag, that night at the party …I heard a voice.. a sweet females voice with the flutter of humming bird wings.. she told me that she is protecting me and I had to leave when I didn’t hear the thunder anymore or I would die” Michael asked curious as to who the voice was.
“YES Mike that was Katya, a powerful sorceress, she was true to her word, she was risking her own life to protect you”
“The one in the purple dress?” Michael asked remembering she was staring at him when he had arrived.
“Yes, the one I was staring at when you walked up to me. This is why I was in lock down, one wrong move on her part I would of …..killed her”. Jagger chocked a little knowing that he sounded deadly to a mortal, but he didn’t want to hold back information from Michael so he spoke freely.
“Mike, I went to see the Mother Oracle of all the sisters of the light, the most powerful sorceress of their kind for her advice as I knew what Luther was playing at, and she told me that she had her finest sorceress there, but no one was allowed to know as it could have been her own life too. I have trusted allies who would risk their lives for me, I knew what Luther was playing at but I had to bait him enough to then ask for my uncle’s help. This is why you fell into the trap, believe me, I risked my own life that night to protect you, I was ready to kill not only Katya but Luther too. It was a Coven of the power of 9… a coven with the power of 9 is the most powerful supernatural gathering where they perform magic to destroy or do good, sadly that one as to break you apart.”
“You supernaturals all kill one another too much, so much anger” Michael said innocently trying to digest everything Jag was telling him.
“Yes Mike.. we have many traitors among our kind too, as much as humans hate us our kind give us as many problems too, this is why I told you there are some of us you can trust and some you cannot.” I was being honest with you.
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“Jag… I am so sorry I was so angry at you. I really am, I have been feeling so wound up lately, everything I do doesn’t fulfill me like when I'm with you….. I missed you.” Michael felt his wall has come down, he knew he missed Jagger and he didn’t want to lose his presence again. He missed everything about him.
“I know Mike.. I am so sorry please forgive me, I never would want to see you hurt not to this degree. You have a right to be angry I understand how confused you would have been feeling, and probably still are, it is natural to feel this” Jagger replied feeling a little less heavier on how own heart.
“But I don’t understand all your ways”. Michael said
“YES I know” Jag confirmed,
“this is why I am so protective of you Mike you have a aura about you like no mortal ever in my existence..and I am over 150 years old Mike. I have been around a long time” Jag knew his wall were continuing to tumble down he was letting Michael into his own soul, something he himself has never done, but he let his inner core do the talking through his body.
“Really… you’re …that old?” Michael tried not to sound rude
“but I don’t understand your ways, so much it winds up all these emotions inside of me”
“Mike it would take me a life time to explain everything, and in time you will learn who and what each supernatural represents, I will guide you, help you to understand, just know this I will not lie to you, I did once” Jagger admitted
“I have withheld information from you only knowing that it would be too much for you to digest but I wont lie to you, I really wont”
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“What was the lie”.. Michael asked bluntly
“When you said does it matter what supernatural I was and if it mattered to our friendship” Michael recalled the night he had a melt down.
“I lied.. Humans hate Vampires, they always have mainly because you’re kind fear us… and eventually I knew that could and possibly would tear us apart.”
“Is that because you can make me a vampire”
“YES as I can feed off you and kill you too. It’s your blood I need to feed off to stay alive. The very thing that keeps you alive too”.
“Jag do you want to have my blood?” Michael asked not even sure why he was asking such a question
“No Mike, there are many warm blooded creatures I can feed off. That’s not the point, I never in my existence met someone who looked past my teeth, my cold skin, my true existence and took me into his heart as a friend. I don’t have friends Mike I never have, I have powerful supernaturals who respect me and will work to help me but they are not true friends, they fear me just as much as anyone else. Friendships are rare for vampires. Especially me, I have always worked alone it is how I was trained, raised”.
Jagger knew Michael would ask him questions that would make him shift in his own comfort zone, but he also knew he needed to open up and let Michael learn the good and the ugly about his kind as well as other supernaturals. He could see Michael was strong and never wanted the pain he kept from Luther’s gathering to burn his core again with Michael. His heart was opening to Michael, he felt it was the right thing to do for his own self-worth too.
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“But I don’t care about your …teeth…. and your skin is warm to me, I do feel it’s cold, ice cold but when I touch you and you touched me I feel warmth, always have, its what I love about you, something inside I can relate to that is deeper than I can’t ever understand” Michael said opening up his own heart to Jagger
“I know Mike.. I feel it too with you, the inner glow, it’s your pure soul that attracts me to you too, I was drawn to you from the first time I set eyes on you in the woods and obviously you sense mine too. It’s something that the universe has granted us. This is what makes you special and very special to me. You are like no human I have ever met and this is why I am protective of you, this is why you need to believe me, I didn’t want Luther to hurt you. I am sorry I let him get as far as I did but I needed to, so that I could then do what I had to do to stop him from ever doing this again”.
“What he does to me I don’t care I will deal with but I don’t want him to touch you. This is why other supernaturals either avoid you or respect you, however there are many you cannot trust either, remember this.”
The ones who I trust know if they as touch you they will have my wrath to deal with and believe me, I am not the kindest man. I have given word when I started to feel something special about you, I have loyal allies and they abide. You are not only protected by me, but other powerful supernatural’s, believe me.”
“Mike I know this is a lot to digest..” Jagger could see Michael was twisting in his thoughts, but he could see the warm glowing coming out of Michael’s core again. The pain he had was slowly lifting as his own was. He knew he had his friend back and it was stronger than they had before. This humbled him.
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Michael stopped, his feelings were flooding out of his core, he wasn’t doing anything to stop them, he sensed Jagger was true to his word and it allowed his inner emotions to come out in the open even more, he was tired of suppressing the emotions, the rising feeling that was invading his core.
Jagger could see something else was eating at Michael.
“Hey what’s wrong… Mike….” Jagger asked in a soft tone, unsure what that feeling was that Michael was suppressing
“Jag..i….” Michael wanted to tell him, he wanted to open up, but words were making him tongue tied he took a deep breath and let his most inner emotions lose, he didn’t hold back, he couldn’t he wanted it all out in the open he didn’t want that burden on his soul anymore.
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“Mike…” Jagger tried to read him and before he could Michael kissed him
“I want you to kiss me Michael blurted out letting his own emotions flood out to the open.
“I enjoyed your kiss it’s like nothing I've ever felt, I want it again, I want that, my desires are burning… I” Michael stopped, not even scared he would offend Jagger he couldn’t suppress his desires any longer, he kept pushing them down for so long yet the yearning was burning inside
Jagger wasn’t even take aback by his quick outburst, tried to over think the situation and put reasons in Michael's thoughts.
“Mike Vampires are lustful, everyone desires us… it’s that passion that drives people out of their senses.. your outburst doesn’t surprise me, but… we are two men.. don’t you like girls?”
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“Yes but they are nothing like I felt with your kiss and I want that again, your confidence, your tenderness. I felt connected to you in a way no girl makes me feel. Every girl I have been with leaves me hollow yet when I'm with you I feel complete, your kiss was something different I can’t get passed that, I don’t understand why and yet I'm not even ashamed as it feels so right.” Michael felt alive in spilling the very emotions he had been suppressing. He started to feel stronger in himself.
“I want you.. I feel for you more than just a friend..i get aroused in a way I never felt before, I feel safe and yearn for you to touch me”.
“I don’t want to suppress this feeling anymore” Michael continued.
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“Mike.. “ Jagger stopped himself trying to find his own reasons to correct a situation that he felt his own core burning with a similar feelings that he himself didn’t realize was festering.
“Jag i… I love you!” Michael whispered as he touched Jaggers face.
Jagger heard Montana’s words in his mind … “open your heart for the one you love or at least for the same love shared for you…. “ “….A passion and love grows .. don’t deny yourself the joy and pleasure of true love”… “True love has no merit, it is the most powerful experience… you need to give yourself a break too, if not for yourself but for the one who shares the same love for you.”
Jagger now realized that it was Michael Montana was talking about. He realized all her words of him opening up was for him to not shut his heart out towards Michael. It stirred in his mind, knowing the ridicule they would be faced with, men did not commit these kinds of desires for one another, yet he himself knew many who had done so in secret. He also knew many who didn’t live to tell their stories, for society drove them to that much pain and ridicule they took their own lives in shame.
He comforted himself knowing that he also didn’t care about society and it’s st*up*id morals but he worried it might get to Michael eventually.
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“Mike..” Jagger couldn’t succumb himself to speak, his mind was racing in many directions something inside of him enjoyed Michael's presence his true essence, he had missed his aura and the comfort he felt around Michael. Yet his mind was screaming at him, he stopped thinking and let his core do the talking.
“Jag please don’t hate me… I have been with girls.. they are nice but I don’t feel complete with them like I do with you, my inner core has been tearing to shreds and I daily tried to wipe you out of my mind, the more I tried the harder my core burned, it continues to want to explode out of my body. I'm yearning for you.”
“Mike…shhh I feel the same but..you understand we are two men… we…..”
“Jag I don’t care.. it feels right”
“Mike I feel the same, in my own twisted way.. yet I fight and struggle to understand this.. but you know we can never be a 'normal couple', like you can with a woman, we cant walk down the street together hand in hand, we can’t make out in the backseats at the movies.. Don’t you want to get married and have children?” Jagger tried to put some reason behind his own insane feelings that were merging from his core.
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“NO I want you, and my life with you” Michael burst out.
“I want you I am hurting I am eating at this pain inside me I don’t understand but I know when you are with me i.. I feel complete I never felt that before ever!”
Jagger didn’t know what to say once again he was speechless with Michael and at the same time he burned with his own desires, the confusion that was clouding his mind. Having Michael grab him closer to him didn’t help his own desires that were rising, he noticed his own breath was shorter and sharper and was heightening his desires of lust.
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“Are you sure you want to do this” Jagger asked him to give him one last chance, he knew if they went through with this there would be no turning back.
“More than anything Jag I do”. Michael said
“Mike where has this new confidence come from” Jagger asked amused at how confident Michael had become.
“I don’t know J, I just feel stronger around you, I need to express myself I just cant keep bottling it up. Are you angry with me because of this?”
“No of course not I like this turn in your personality. It’s comforting” Jagger said enjoying Michael's new self confidence.
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After spending time with Jade and their talk Michael had a day off from classes so he decided to enjoy a jog around the campus, he loved being outdoors regardless of the weather, Jogging allowed him to clear his mind and embrace mother nature as he always did when he was hurting. He knew he burned inside, as much as he wanted to talk to Jag he didn’t want to see him anymore, yet something deeper inside of him was boiling, he kept pushing it shut, sinking it deeper into his core.
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As Michael walked back into his room and opened the door he lost his breath from the surprise, seeing Jagger standing at the end of the room.
“What are you doing here” Michael said trying not to show any emotions.
Jag could see Michael was angry, hurting and he knew he had every right to be. But he couldn’t bare the pain that was eating away at his own core anymore, his guilt had got the better off him and he wanted to get it off his chest, he knew Michael would have been feeling the same in a round about way.
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“Mike please… you know deep down inside we need this aired” Jag replied feeling the crushing blow that was slowly coming to surface from his own pains, pains he wasn’t use to.
“JAG you hurt me!.... YOU betrayed me!!!..... How I don’t know I don’t get what happened but inside I feel pain, it’s hurts it HURTS far greater than my brothers death. I trusted you.. I can’t do this I can’t Jag you were the one person I truly thought was my friend.” Michael said in an angry tone.
As much as Jag could see he was angry he kept pressing, in hopes he would find it deep down in his core to forgive him.
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“Mike please.. give me a chance to explain.. Complete TRUTH.. I didn’t tell you everything and it’s turned to bite me, bite me hard.. please, hear me out” Jag said surprised at his own slight desperation in his voice.
“I TRUSTED YOU!!!” Michael felt his own pains surfacing, slowly letting it pour forward.
“I know, Mike it’s hard for me to explain everything in black and white when it’s not.. It’s all intertwined.. all messed up and muddled up in ways I cannot understand too. But I did not ever want to see you get hurt, ever I swear on my own ……. children’s lives.”
“You…. have children” Michael asked surprised to learn something new about Jag.
Jagger knew he could trust Michael even past his anger, so he didn’t hold back from being truthful with him
“YES but that’s for another time, I want to talk to you now about us, our situation” Jagger said to bring the point back to their misunderstanding.
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Michael still angry and hurting, “SEE secrets you all have secrets ... I'm sick of it I just want” he stopped knowing he burned with questions and he wanted answers. Seeing Jagger in front of him he wanted answers and he wanted them now.
“Jag… When you said not to go with a vampire woman was that because your kind can bite to turn me”
“YES Mike, vampires as well as werewolves have a cursed bite, it takes away you’re human capacity, by the next full moon you are a full supernatural”.
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“So would you..”
“NO!” Jagger interrupted him knowing what he was going to say.
“NO Mike I like you just the way you are, why do you think I would tell you to avoid them? I want you just how you are” Jag said again to insinuate the point.
Michael could see Jagger was hurting, he never saw this side to him and looking into his eyes he could feel that pain, the same kind of pain he was bottling up. He felt his own heart sink a little.
“Jag.. i… I missed you..I really do, I am sorry, I know deep inside you are a true friend to me, I still feel it but I'm confused, the pain hurts….. I've been with girls, you were right they feel great.. AND they sc*rew with your mind, I even got attacked by one, she accused me of being her boyfriend when we only fooled around.”
Michael noticed he was babbling but he didn’t want to stop the painful feelings that were surfacing, he wanted it out of his system.
Jagger much calmer to his own voice, yet still hurting replied
“Yes Mike they do. They tear your heart up in ways you want to bite yourself to stop the pain. But they have their good values too.”
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“Jag I'm so sorry…”
“Mike I am the one who is sorry. Please I need to get off my chest what has been eating at me, to apologize..i never wanted you to get hurt and what happened, could have been worse” I am the one who is very sorry.
“Was Luther trying to kill me?” Michael blurt out wanting to know answers.
“YES” Jag replied honestly
“WHY” What have I done to him?” Michael asked in confusion.
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“Mike it’s not you.. it’s” Jagger sighed he knew he had to spill his inner core, he knew he wanted to and as much as he hated being put in this position, he didn’t want that pain anymore either, as it tore him apart he knew it would be information that would cloud Michael's mind but he knew he had to let him know, to be truthful.
“Mike.. My father has been like this since I was born; I don’t know why he hates me so much… he was the reason…. My …..mother …..was killed in front of me.. he…“ Jagger struggled to speak, he gained control of his mind again and pressed on.
“He torments me daily, he plays games all the time in his own jealousy and anger, it’s not towards you directly it’s to hurt ME, to satisfy his own selfish desires. I can tell you this much he will never bother you again… If he does he will have my uncle the Emperor to deal with”.
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“Wait…Jag… you’re.. Royal blood” Michael asked shocked to learn that Jagger was of royalty.
“Yes Mike my mother is one of the oldest and purest vampire bloodlines ever to have existed, when she died I am her only living heir, my uncle protects me always has and after that dreaded gathering, I spoke with him, he has warned Luther if he goes near you again he will personally deal with him. Mind you my father is his only brother, our line has slowly died out over the years, this is why I have so much pressure on me, to build a hierarchy, to find the best blood to make future royalties..”
Michael could see Jagger was being truthful and felt that warmth seeping through his core, the same one he felt always with him, he could see Jagger was hurting as much as he was. He felt his own walls slowly coming down.
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“Jag, that night at the party …I heard a voice.. a sweet females voice with the flutter of humming bird wings.. she told me that she is protecting me and I had to leave when I didn’t hear the thunder anymore or I would die” Michael asked curious as to who the voice was.
“YES Mike that was Katya, a powerful sorceress, she was true to her word, she was risking her own life to protect you”
“The one in the purple dress?” Michael asked remembering she was staring at him when he had arrived.
“Yes, the one I was staring at when you walked up to me. This is why I was in lock down, one wrong move on her part I would of …..killed her”. Jagger chocked a little knowing that he sounded deadly to a mortal, but he didn’t want to hold back information from Michael so he spoke freely.
“Mike, I went to see the Mother Oracle of all the sisters of the light, the most powerful sorceress of their kind for her advice as I knew what Luther was playing at, and she told me that she had her finest sorceress there, but no one was allowed to know as it could have been her own life too. I have trusted allies who would risk their lives for me, I knew what Luther was playing at but I had to bait him enough to then ask for my uncle’s help. This is why you fell into the trap, believe me, I risked my own life that night to protect you, I was ready to kill not only Katya but Luther too. It was a Coven of the power of 9… a coven with the power of 9 is the most powerful supernatural gathering where they perform magic to destroy or do good, sadly that one as to break you apart.”
“You supernaturals all kill one another too much, so much anger” Michael said innocently trying to digest everything Jag was telling him.
“Yes Mike.. we have many traitors among our kind too, as much as humans hate us our kind give us as many problems too, this is why I told you there are some of us you can trust and some you cannot.” I was being honest with you.
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“Jag… I am so sorry I was so angry at you. I really am, I have been feeling so wound up lately, everything I do doesn’t fulfill me like when I'm with you….. I missed you.” Michael felt his wall has come down, he knew he missed Jagger and he didn’t want to lose his presence again. He missed everything about him.
“I know Mike.. I am so sorry please forgive me, I never would want to see you hurt not to this degree. You have a right to be angry I understand how confused you would have been feeling, and probably still are, it is natural to feel this” Jagger replied feeling a little less heavier on how own heart.
“But I don’t understand all your ways”. Michael said
“YES I know” Jag confirmed,
“this is why I am so protective of you Mike you have a aura about you like no mortal ever in my existence..and I am over 150 years old Mike. I have been around a long time” Jag knew his wall were continuing to tumble down he was letting Michael into his own soul, something he himself has never done, but he let his inner core do the talking through his body.
“Really… you’re …that old?” Michael tried not to sound rude
“but I don’t understand your ways, so much it winds up all these emotions inside of me”
“Mike it would take me a life time to explain everything, and in time you will learn who and what each supernatural represents, I will guide you, help you to understand, just know this I will not lie to you, I did once” Jagger admitted
“I have withheld information from you only knowing that it would be too much for you to digest but I wont lie to you, I really wont”
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“What was the lie”.. Michael asked bluntly
“When you said does it matter what supernatural I was and if it mattered to our friendship” Michael recalled the night he had a melt down.
“I lied.. Humans hate Vampires, they always have mainly because you’re kind fear us… and eventually I knew that could and possibly would tear us apart.”
“Is that because you can make me a vampire”
“YES as I can feed off you and kill you too. It’s your blood I need to feed off to stay alive. The very thing that keeps you alive too”.
“Jag do you want to have my blood?” Michael asked not even sure why he was asking such a question
“No Mike, there are many warm blooded creatures I can feed off. That’s not the point, I never in my existence met someone who looked past my teeth, my cold skin, my true existence and took me into his heart as a friend. I don’t have friends Mike I never have, I have powerful supernaturals who respect me and will work to help me but they are not true friends, they fear me just as much as anyone else. Friendships are rare for vampires. Especially me, I have always worked alone it is how I was trained, raised”.
Jagger knew Michael would ask him questions that would make him shift in his own comfort zone, but he also knew he needed to open up and let Michael learn the good and the ugly about his kind as well as other supernaturals. He could see Michael was strong and never wanted the pain he kept from Luther’s gathering to burn his core again with Michael. His heart was opening to Michael, he felt it was the right thing to do for his own self-worth too.
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“But I don’t care about your …teeth…. and your skin is warm to me, I do feel it’s cold, ice cold but when I touch you and you touched me I feel warmth, always have, its what I love about you, something inside I can relate to that is deeper than I can’t ever understand” Michael said opening up his own heart to Jagger
“I know Mike.. I feel it too with you, the inner glow, it’s your pure soul that attracts me to you too, I was drawn to you from the first time I set eyes on you in the woods and obviously you sense mine too. It’s something that the universe has granted us. This is what makes you special and very special to me. You are like no human I have ever met and this is why I am protective of you, this is why you need to believe me, I didn’t want Luther to hurt you. I am sorry I let him get as far as I did but I needed to, so that I could then do what I had to do to stop him from ever doing this again”.
“What he does to me I don’t care I will deal with but I don’t want him to touch you. This is why other supernaturals either avoid you or respect you, however there are many you cannot trust either, remember this.”
The ones who I trust know if they as touch you they will have my wrath to deal with and believe me, I am not the kindest man. I have given word when I started to feel something special about you, I have loyal allies and they abide. You are not only protected by me, but other powerful supernatural’s, believe me.”
“Mike I know this is a lot to digest..” Jagger could see Michael was twisting in his thoughts, but he could see the warm glowing coming out of Michael’s core again. The pain he had was slowly lifting as his own was. He knew he had his friend back and it was stronger than they had before. This humbled him.
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Michael stopped, his feelings were flooding out of his core, he wasn’t doing anything to stop them, he sensed Jagger was true to his word and it allowed his inner emotions to come out in the open even more, he was tired of suppressing the emotions, the rising feeling that was invading his core.
Jagger could see something else was eating at Michael.
“Hey what’s wrong… Mike….” Jagger asked in a soft tone, unsure what that feeling was that Michael was suppressing
“Jag..i….” Michael wanted to tell him, he wanted to open up, but words were making him tongue tied he took a deep breath and let his most inner emotions lose, he didn’t hold back, he couldn’t he wanted it all out in the open he didn’t want that burden on his soul anymore.
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“Mike…” Jagger tried to read him and before he could Michael kissed him
“I want you to kiss me Michael blurted out letting his own emotions flood out to the open.
“I enjoyed your kiss it’s like nothing I've ever felt, I want it again, I want that, my desires are burning… I” Michael stopped, not even scared he would offend Jagger he couldn’t suppress his desires any longer, he kept pushing them down for so long yet the yearning was burning inside
Jagger wasn’t even take aback by his quick outburst, tried to over think the situation and put reasons in Michael's thoughts.
“Mike Vampires are lustful, everyone desires us… it’s that passion that drives people out of their senses.. your outburst doesn’t surprise me, but… we are two men.. don’t you like girls?”
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“Yes but they are nothing like I felt with your kiss and I want that again, your confidence, your tenderness. I felt connected to you in a way no girl makes me feel. Every girl I have been with leaves me hollow yet when I'm with you I feel complete, your kiss was something different I can’t get passed that, I don’t understand why and yet I'm not even ashamed as it feels so right.” Michael felt alive in spilling the very emotions he had been suppressing. He started to feel stronger in himself.
“I want you.. I feel for you more than just a friend..i get aroused in a way I never felt before, I feel safe and yearn for you to touch me”.
“I don’t want to suppress this feeling anymore” Michael continued.
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“Mike.. “ Jagger stopped himself trying to find his own reasons to correct a situation that he felt his own core burning with a similar feelings that he himself didn’t realize was festering.
“Jag i… I love you!” Michael whispered as he touched Jaggers face.
Jagger heard Montana’s words in his mind … “open your heart for the one you love or at least for the same love shared for you…. “ “….A passion and love grows .. don’t deny yourself the joy and pleasure of true love”… “True love has no merit, it is the most powerful experience… you need to give yourself a break too, if not for yourself but for the one who shares the same love for you.”
Jagger now realized that it was Michael Montana was talking about. He realized all her words of him opening up was for him to not shut his heart out towards Michael. It stirred in his mind, knowing the ridicule they would be faced with, men did not commit these kinds of desires for one another, yet he himself knew many who had done so in secret. He also knew many who didn’t live to tell their stories, for society drove them to that much pain and ridicule they took their own lives in shame.
He comforted himself knowing that he also didn’t care about society and it’s st*up*id morals but he worried it might get to Michael eventually.
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“Mike..” Jagger couldn’t succumb himself to speak, his mind was racing in many directions something inside of him enjoyed Michael's presence his true essence, he had missed his aura and the comfort he felt around Michael. Yet his mind was screaming at him, he stopped thinking and let his core do the talking.
“Jag please don’t hate me… I have been with girls.. they are nice but I don’t feel complete with them like I do with you, my inner core has been tearing to shreds and I daily tried to wipe you out of my mind, the more I tried the harder my core burned, it continues to want to explode out of my body. I'm yearning for you.”
“Mike…shhh I feel the same but..you understand we are two men… we…..”
“Jag I don’t care.. it feels right”
“Mike I feel the same, in my own twisted way.. yet I fight and struggle to understand this.. but you know we can never be a 'normal couple', like you can with a woman, we cant walk down the street together hand in hand, we can’t make out in the backseats at the movies.. Don’t you want to get married and have children?” Jagger tried to put some reason behind his own insane feelings that were merging from his core.
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“NO I want you, and my life with you” Michael burst out.
“I want you I am hurting I am eating at this pain inside me I don’t understand but I know when you are with me i.. I feel complete I never felt that before ever!”
Jagger didn’t know what to say once again he was speechless with Michael and at the same time he burned with his own desires, the confusion that was clouding his mind. Having Michael grab him closer to him didn’t help his own desires that were rising, he noticed his own breath was shorter and sharper and was heightening his desires of lust.
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“Are you sure you want to do this” Jagger asked him to give him one last chance, he knew if they went through with this there would be no turning back.
“More than anything Jag I do”. Michael said
“Mike where has this new confidence come from” Jagger asked amused at how confident Michael had become.
“I don’t know J, I just feel stronger around you, I need to express myself I just cant keep bottling it up. Are you angry with me because of this?”
“No of course not I like this turn in your personality. It’s comforting” Jagger said enjoying Michael's new self confidence.
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