Between2Worlds [Story] 06/04
https://i.ibb.co/xYcr7Zv/B2-WPart2-Banner.jpg Prologue here. Prologue here.
Forum Discussion
@ThePlumbob :smile:
Writing
True! The concept of identity is completely fluid in my story :smile: I think the static characters in B2W S1 are the Ellis family. :lol:
gotcha I completely misunderstood. Lol if I were you I’d stop at the lighthouse too. I’d probably dwell there for a bit because it’s such a nice mirage and checkpoint amidst all that happened while I get ready for more pain. :joy: And chocolate cake.. uhhh what are you doing to meee!
Noted. I won’t be doing comic style. It’s too tiring to do all the panelling and tbh I like huge pictures so I rather put up 100 pictures like I currently do. I also find that they don’t provide enough room for thoughts so I would probably continue in a mixed medium style. Thank you for being honest. Those were my first few attempts at actively trying to include narrative bits and I feel more encouraged to try again. :smile:
I once took 5 hours (not kidding) just to get the right scene/mood/facial expression/setting right. I’m happy you think so :joy: Luckily I learnt to make poses after.
I have wondered about including it too and personally (because I’m a prude), I would’ve preferred not to include it. But I kept it in because many s*xual assault victims feel repulsed by touch/intimacy after. Athena was experiencing a version of that in 9.4 when she said ‘Don’t touch me!’ although that was directed at herself mostly, but its there. Hence, the explicit mention of her physical sensations was an important indicator of either her feelings towards Curtis or her mind reconnecting physical contact with positive emotions. :>
If there’s no purpose I won’t put in something explicit for the sake of it. I’m not interested in.. I think they’re called smut. XD
<3 !
Cringey because hard to believe? Or cringey because they were being corny? :P
Character
Writing
I think for me the main overarching theme was about losing innocence, which happens to all of us as we grow up, but to a lesser degree than our mains here. You could see that progression in everyone, Athena and Curtis obviously being the obvious choices, but to a degree this was also shown for Kirino and Masato, even the Scorcher. Which, now that I think about it, does not bode well for Kian’s next arc
True! The concept of identity is completely fluid in my story :smile: I think the static characters in B2W S1 are the Ellis family. :lol:
Haha I think I may have said that, there were points in your story where I deliberately took a break, yes, but it’s nothing to do with too much action and/or thrill. I obviously had the luxury of getting to binge the story, but I didn’t want to burn through it too quickly, so I had to actively stop myself sometimes to avoid blasting through it too fast and missing things. Oh, and I specifically stopped after the lighthouse chapter because I had a feeling everything was going to go terribly wrong Some of the chapters were just really impactful (in a good way) or had mind-boggling revelations, so I wanted to take some time to digest them, but that’s really not a bad thing at all – just think of it as gorging on rich chocolate cake, you have to wait a while till you can have cake again afterwards, but that doesn’t matter you don’t like cake, on the contrary!
gotcha I completely misunderstood. Lol if I were you I’d stop at the lighthouse too. I’d probably dwell there for a bit because it’s such a nice mirage and checkpoint amidst all that happened while I get ready for more pain. :joy: And chocolate cake.. uhhh what are you doing to meee!
Picture Sequences: Did you prefer the speech text organised around the subject in the picture? Or placed at the bottom and color coded?
Colour-coded at the bottom is the easiest to follow for me, hands down. It’s very clear to make sense of that way.
Do you like this randomness of switching mediums?
Yes! I like it when writers experiment! I’m not gonna lie, I would probably be sad if you said that the entirety of season 2 will be a comic, because I would miss seeing what’s going on in their heads, but I do enjoy different styles being sprinkled in. Always fun to see what you come up with (and admirable how many different storytelling platforms you manage to pull off!)
At some point I tried to add more descriptions/elaboration of the setting and ambience than moving the story along. (Chapter 14.2 and 14.21) What do you think of the writing in these chapters compared to the rest of my writing? Do you have a preference? (If there’s no difference you can say that too. ) I can’t say that I noticed they had more descriptions at the time of reading them, but 14.21 did stand out to me, it was a treat to get a peak into Masato’s perspective, it really helped me understand the way he thinks, and this was also where we got to see a glimpse of the true Kirino for the first time. So I don’t know if the reason I enjoyed these chapters was the different writing style or the subjects. Either way, occasional introspective chapters are good since they help with fleshing out your characters, but of course it’s all about balance.
Noted. I won’t be doing comic style. It’s too tiring to do all the panelling and tbh I like huge pictures so I rather put up 100 pictures like I currently do. I also find that they don’t provide enough room for thoughts so I would probably continue in a mixed medium style. Thank you for being honest. Those were my first few attempts at actively trying to include narrative bits and I feel more encouraged to try again. :smile:
Not to mention that your screenshotting is one of the highlights of the story, the emotions you capture in your images are phenomenal.
I once took 5 hours (not kidding) just to get the right scene/mood/facial expression/setting right. I’m happy you think so :joy: Luckily I learnt to make poses after.
If you mean some of the more explicit scenes, no, I wouldn’t say it was too much or cringey. I do recall that when Curtis and Athena first kissed, you described how her body responded quite in-depth, which surprised me, but didn’t bother me – though I also recall that I was hoping that you weren’t going to go to that level of detail on the descriptions as their relationship progresses lol!
I have wondered about including it too and personally (because I’m a prude), I would’ve preferred not to include it. But I kept it in because many s*xual assault victims feel repulsed by touch/intimacy after. Athena was experiencing a version of that in 9.4 when she said ‘Don’t touch me!’ although that was directed at herself mostly, but its there. Hence, the explicit mention of her physical sensations was an important indicator of either her feelings towards Curtis or her mind reconnecting physical contact with positive emotions. :>
If there’s no purpose I won’t put in something explicit for the sake of it. I’m not interested in.. I think they’re called smut. XD
And then 16.5 I thought was very tastefully done, it’s not like we saw hanging bits or you launched into a full-blown description there (which for me would be cringey, yes), it was focusing much more on the feeling. So no issues there.
<3 !
The only part I thought was on the cringey side was their conversation in the final chapter, but I wouldn’t call that romance, I would call that denial :P
Cringey because hard to believe? Or cringey because they were being corny? :P
Character
Spoiler
Ahh I’m glad I conveyed her right, except that I would be a little harsher and say she’s self-centered. I don’t mean she’s selfish. If she knows of a loved one’s needs she will go out of her way to provide for it, but her focus is on self preservation.
Lol yeah she just turned 16. Her death day at the lighthouse was her 16th birthday if it helps makes things clearer.
I’m asking for personal opinions as much as objectivity so don’t worry about it.
:cookie: <3
He has Rue to thank for his compassion and sanity :lol: And his thirst for revenge to drive him after she’s gone.
Ahh! I see what you mean. :smiley: That's true!
You’ll see him in S2! His story is not over :)
I don’t think I can say anything else except I’m happy you like her and her features :)
:lol: That is true. There isn't much to go on to explain his entire character but I'm glad the bits that were portrayed provided some sort of an explanation.
I'm honestly so surprised at his genuine likability. I was very worried (for nothing apparently) at the beginning as I fleshed out his character that Kian will be disliked given his loud laissez-faire brash attitude :lol:
Aw Thank you for all your answers I had fun reading them all and sorry I can’t reply some of them because they are direct spoilers but this isn’t the last time you’ve seen… any of them. (Except the ones we've lost.) :pensive:
Athena is very determined when she wants something, which is both her biggest strength and weakness. She does not back down, often like a child that insists they need a particular toy – but that’s understandable, given her age, and it’s obviously helped her get through tough times.
I don’t think she particularly considers other people’s perspectives and motivations; she is very focused on her own view of the world. I wouldn’t go as far as to say self-centred, per say, but I feel like she has to actively try to empathise with others. But again, that’s to be expected, given that up until the events of B2W she lived a very sheltered life.
She will do anything for the people she cares about though. Too much, even, at her own detriment. I wonder if that will change now, given everything she’s been through, now that she’s realised she’s not invincible. Then again, maybe now that she has the tome, she thinks she is!
I don’t think there’s a single answer to this one. I almost see her at a crossroads right now, with several directions you could nudge her in, with one tiny gentle push. She is in a place where she can change for the better, or for the worse, and either would be believable. I’m pretty sure the untamed magic stuff will have an effect on her though, so I personally foresee the latter, but hey maybe she’ll surprise me!
Ahh I’m glad I conveyed her right, except that I would be a little harsher and say she’s self-centered. I don’t mean she’s selfish. If she knows of a loved one’s needs she will go out of her way to provide for it, but her focus is on self preservation.
Honestly, that moment for me was just a reminder of “oh yeah, she’s 16” (or was she 15 at that point? I know she turns 16 at some point in the story but can’t remember if it was before or after this chapter). So it was believable, but it goes back to what I said about her childish stubbornness. It felt like a realistic reminder of her age. I mean, he’s her first love, and she’s just been through some traumatising stuff she can’t bear to face alone in this chapter. Of course she’ll believe that.
Lol yeah she just turned 16. Her death day at the lighthouse was her 16th birthday if it helps makes things clearer.
This one is much more difficult for me to answer because I’m aware of my personal bias, so I know it’s much harder for me to objective here – so take what I say with a grain of salt.
I’m asking for personal opinions as much as objectivity so don’t worry about it.
I think he’s not as numb to the world as he’d like to be, he puts on this careful front he’s cultivated but his emotions ultimately rule him. He’s obviously grown quite desensitised to his environment as he’s had to, and when he’s confronted with what he contributes to, it doesn’t sit right with him, because he’d like to tell himself he’s the good guy, just on a quest for revenge, so when he actually gets a look in the mirror (whether that be circumstances, like the aftermath of 6.4, or Athena calling him out on what he fears to be in 10.5), he doesn’t like what he sees.
:cookie: <3
Fleshed out, yes. Realistic in the sense that I understand his motivations, yes. Realistic in the sense of if somebody went through what he did, they would still keep it together and not become completely deranged… probably not. But that’s why I love him.
He has Rue to thank for his compassion and sanity :lol: And his thirst for revenge to drive him after she’s gone.
Did you find it strange that he cared for Athena with his background staring at violence every day?
Not really, I mean he was subconsciously looking for something to ground him, someone to tell him he’s not completely lost to the world in spite of it all, something to give him a reason to go on once the Scorcher hunt was done, should he survive. Escapism is a natural response to high pressure situations. That, and Athena didn’t exactly give him a choice And he’s a teenage boy, a pretty girl that’s clearly into him and not a part of his world would obviously be very appealing.
Ahh! I see what you mean. :smiley: That's true!
Is Masato a believable character?Does his character/personality, his motivations, and actions make sense to you? Is his love for Kirino surprising? Does his metaphoric speech make sense to you? Did the final reveal provide ample explanation of all the schemey scenes he was portrayed in throughout the story? Did everything make sense?
I didn’t really understand his motivations until later on in the story when we got to see things from his point of view, but that was obviously deliberate. I like how complex he is, and hope to see more of him in season 2.
His love of Kirino is not surprising, they had so much history and were of course forever bonded by the loss of their son. I did find his arch sufficiently explained, but I find him and Kirino fascinating so I wouldn’t mind a pre-quel/spinoff, and I definitely hope that this is not the last of what we’ve seen of him.
You’ll see him in S2! His story is not over :)
4.Is Kirino a believable character? Does her character, desires and actions (including final action) make sense to you?
Yes. I initially didn’t know what to make of her, but I really fell in love with her when we saw what was underneath her mask. She was one of my favourites, and it breaks my heart she’s gone, but her actions were not unexpected.
Was her ‘flashback’ chapter believable?
Yes. My favourite chapter in the whole story.
Do you think she loves Masato (at the end)?
Oh, that’s a loaded question. Hmm… I’m not sure if she had much room for anything other than pain in her heart at the end. In a way, she did probably did still love him to some degree, though I’d imagine she didn’t want to.
Were Masato and Kirino’s complicated relationship believable?
Yes. I wish we got more of them, but just the little snippets we did painted a very rich picture.
I don’t think I can say anything else except I’m happy you like her and her features :)
Is Scorcher a believable character? Does his character, desires and actions make sense to you? (I think I gave him a monologue and two lines of dialogue explaining his perspective on life lol)
Hmm I don’t know if we know enough about him to dissect him as a character. We obviously know he’s suffered a personal tragedy that’s made him snap and take pleasure in the pain of others to avoid his own, but I can’t say I can analyse what makes him tick That being said I don’t feel like that a higher level of deeper understanding was needed for him.
:lol: That is true. There isn't much to go on to explain his entire character but I'm glad the bits that were portrayed provided some sort of an explanation.
What do you think about Kian? Then Carly?
I love Kian! He brought much needed light to the story, which I guess was his primary function. I adore that he says it how it is and sassy sense of humour. No wonder he was popular with the ladies at school.
I'm honestly so surprised at his genuine likability. I was very worried (for nothing apparently) at the beginning as I fleshed out his character that Kian will be disliked given his loud laissez-faire brash attitude :lol:
Carly I wasn’t too keen on, though to my surprise I didn’t mind her with Kian in the finale, they seemed well suited. That being said I won’t be mad if someone better comes along for him. Though I feel like where he’s going it will be a lot less dating and a lot more danger.
8. What do you think/feel about Dew?
I actually really liked Dew ever since she was introduced – by that I don’t mean the chapter where her drink got spiked, but the chapter where she actually got dialogue - 10.5, I think? She obviously holds no illusions of the world in spite of her young age, and doesn’t mince her words, but there’s a lot of truth behind what she says. I hope she’s back for season 2!
9. What do you think about Grim?
Grim was hilarious, in spite of his story being sad, and I loved the genuine bond he developed with Athena, even though that was ultimately his undoing (I see what you did there!). He was a fantastic vehicle to explain the lore of the magic realm, and the revelation about his true identity was a cherry on top, I did not see that coming!
Aw Thank you for all your answers I had fun reading them all and sorry I can’t reply some of them because they are direct spoilers but this isn’t the last time you’ve seen… any of them. (Except the ones we've lost.) :pensive:
