Between2Worlds [Story] 06/04
https://i.ibb.co/xYcr7Zv/B2-WPart2-Banner.jpg Prologue here. Prologue here.
Forum Discussion
These are the last of the questions. Hope they make sense and are helpful. :)
Spoiler
- Were there any themes that stood out for you in this story? How do you think I handled them?
I think teenage self-discovery was a major theme. Young love, loss of innocence, loss of a loved one. I think the themes were handled well.
- What do you think of my balancing action/non-action scenes, thrill/non-thrill? Were you able to wind down before the next one, or is the story's arrangement fine with you? Some have told me they needed to take a break from the story because it was so uh full on(?). How was it for you?
I thought there was a good balance.
I tend to take breaks in stories anyway, but I found if I went too long between reading, I would forget certain plot points, especially with the criminal underground or with the Grim storyline. I almost feel like I should reread it again, now that it is finished, because I think I may have missed things. A few of the chapters were very impactful, so I did have to take a short break after reading to process what I had read, but this isn't a bad thing, it just means that certain chapters were thought-provoking.
- There’s a shift in my writing style/length between chapter 1-5 and the rest of the story. I also experimented with different mediums. What do you think of:
• The comic strip? Was its organisation easy to follow? Were the Speech bubbles clear who’s talking and who’s next?
It was easy to follow. I may have gotten lost a couple of times, but it was easy to go back and figure out who was talking.
• Picture Sequences: Did you prefer the speech text organised around the subject in the picture? Or placed at the bottom and color coded?
I think the color coding was easiest to follow. Though, I did like the lighthouse scene with the speech text.
• Do you like this randomness of switching mediums?
I’m kind of old fashioned and liked the chapters with just pictures and text separate.
• At some point I tried to add more descriptions/elaboration of the setting and ambience than moving the story along. (Chapter 14.2 and 14.21) What do you think of the writing in these chapters compared to the rest of my writing? Do you have a preference? (If there’s no difference you can say that too. )
I do like the descriptions; it made the reading much more immersive. And it was good to get slower chapters. I think that it helped with the pacing of the overall story.
- I overly rely on pictures to describe the setting than write it out. Does this style work for you?
I think it works well, and I don’t feel like there are too many pictures. It’s simlit, so pictures should be the focal point, and I think it works well. Your poses convey a lot of emotion and your editing also helps to convey a lot of unspoken dialogue.
- Romance is hard to write and personal. There are some scenes and pictures that were too much for me in the story, but I’m a conservative person. How were they for you? Were any of them cringey? If yes, which one? so I can work on those. And do you have suggestions?
I didn’t see anything overly cringey. I thought all the romance scenes were tasteful and I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. I agree with the romance part being personal. Romance is hard to write, and what is overly cringey for one person might not be for another.
1. What are Athena's strengths and weaknesses? What do you think of Athena’s Character progression/development? How would you describe her?
I would say she is stubborn, and naïve. She wants to do what’s right, but sometimes she goes ahead without thinking things through and this gets her into trouble. She also doesn't take advice from others very well, and kind of has an attitude that she knows best. This could also be because she is a teenager, and thinks she knows better and doesn't want to take advice from her elders.
- Is her character realistic? Is she adequately fleshed out for reader understanding?
Yes, I think so.
- Any bits of her that you find confusing?
None that I can think of.
- What kind of person do you think she has become at the end of this story? What kind of person do you predict her to be in B2W?
I don't know for certain, but I'll just throw out some of my thoughts.
I think she will use the book for her own gain, and this will have a lot of negative consequences, what, I'm not sure. That's the only prediction I will make because I just want to read and be surprised. I could see her having many different outcomes depending on the choices she makes.
- She insists that Curtis is relatable and her soulmate at the lighthouse scene. Did you find her insistence of them being made for each other believable? Do you have a theory why she thinks so? (I’ve never elaborated on this)
I don’t really know if it’s believable to me personally. While I’m a romantic, I also don’t completely jump on board with the whole soulmate thing. But Athena as a character believes in soulmates, and I think that it fits with her character. I did like the lighthouse scene and I think it was the first time that we really got to see how each one feels about the other. I don't really have any theories, other than maybe it has something to do with Athena being a spellcaster? Not sure.
2. What are Curtis's strength and weaknesses? What do you think of Curtis’s Character progression/development? How would you describe him?
I think he is a little bit of a loner. He also takes on too much and doesn't ask for help. He tries to protect people by being secretive and in a way thinks he knows best. He became very protective of Athena in the end, which I understand from his past.
- Is he realistic and adequately fleshed out for reader understanding?
Yes, I think so.
- Did you find it strange that he cared for Athena with his background staring at violence every day?
I don’t find it strange at all. He is human, and is capable of feeling a range of emotions regardless of violence. I don't think he is as desensitized to his lifestyle as he lets on. I think maybe he admires and even envies Athena's innocence and her way of looking at life, and this might be one of the many reasons he wants to protect her.
I know I did a lot of explaining of Masato and Kirino’s character in the comments. But without the comments and purely relying on story:
3.Is Masato a believable character?Does his character/personality, his motivations, and actions make sense to you? Is his love for Kirino surprising? Does his metaphoric speech make sense to you? Did the final reveal provide ample explanation of all the schemey scenes he was portrayed in throughout the story? Did everything make sense?
Yes, I really liked his character. I don't have a very thorough answer because I have forgotten a lot of what he said, but I wasn't confused by any of the scenes. He was a very morally grey character to me, so I enjoyed learning about him and also seeing a softer side to him toward the end.
4.Is Kirino a believable character? Does her character, desires and actions (including final action ) make sense to you?
- Did her scene at the end come as a complete surprise? Were there enough clues given throughout the story for you to find her condition at the end believable/acceptable?
- Was her ‘flashback’ chapter believable?
- Do you think she loves Masato (at the end)?
This is a hard one to answer. I think she cares for him, yes, but I think she’s been in a very depressed state and that has kind of taken over her life and she’s probably just going through the motions at this point. I do think that she felt like she wasn’t in control of anything, and this was really her only means of taking back control. I don’t think it was a surprise, people can hide their true thoughts and feelings and Kirino kept a lot of things bottled up. We also didn’t really get a good look at her personality and motivations until later, so this was believable when we learned more about her.
5.Were Masato and Kirino’s complicated relationship believable?
Yes, I think so. They worked together and at one time, seemed happy together, but due to the nature of their work and the loss of their child, this sort of drove them apart. It was really complex, and I enjoyed learning about both of these characters.
6.Is Scorcher a believable character? Does his character, desires and actions make sense to you? (I think I gave him a monologue and two lines of dialogue explaining his perspective on life lol)
I don’t really remember his motivations, I just remember him being a really nasty person. I’m sure he had reasons for what he did. Like control and feeling superior.
7. What do you think about Kian? Then Carly?
I like Kian. He’s a good guy, and truly cares about Athena and Curtis. I didn’t really like Carly from the beginning. She’s kind of bossy, and I really don’t know what Kian sees in her. I don’t really think the two of them will last. Kian doesn’t seem as invested in the relationship as Carly does.
8. What do you think/feel about Dew?
I think Dew is well portrayed, she’s kind of rough around the edges, but I imagine her lifestyle has made her that way. And she tells it like she sees it, and I think it is good to have characters that can dole out some tough love.
9. What do you think about Grim?
I loved Grim in this. He was such a cool character. And I completely didn’t see the twist. Now I will have to go back and reread this and look for clues that I missed.
- Were there any themes that stood out for you in this story? How do you think I handled them?
I think teenage self-discovery was a major theme. Young love, loss of innocence, loss of a loved one. I think the themes were handled well.
- What do you think of my balancing action/non-action scenes, thrill/non-thrill? Were you able to wind down before the next one, or is the story's arrangement fine with you? Some have told me they needed to take a break from the story because it was so uh full on(?). How was it for you?
I thought there was a good balance.
I tend to take breaks in stories anyway, but I found if I went too long between reading, I would forget certain plot points, especially with the criminal underground or with the Grim storyline. I almost feel like I should reread it again, now that it is finished, because I think I may have missed things. A few of the chapters were very impactful, so I did have to take a short break after reading to process what I had read, but this isn't a bad thing, it just means that certain chapters were thought-provoking.
- There’s a shift in my writing style/length between chapter 1-5 and the rest of the story. I also experimented with different mediums. What do you think of:
• The comic strip? Was its organisation easy to follow? Were the Speech bubbles clear who’s talking and who’s next?
It was easy to follow. I may have gotten lost a couple of times, but it was easy to go back and figure out who was talking.
• Picture Sequences: Did you prefer the speech text organised around the subject in the picture? Or placed at the bottom and color coded?
I think the color coding was easiest to follow. Though, I did like the lighthouse scene with the speech text.
• Do you like this randomness of switching mediums?
I’m kind of old fashioned and liked the chapters with just pictures and text separate.
• At some point I tried to add more descriptions/elaboration of the setting and ambience than moving the story along. (Chapter 14.2 and 14.21) What do you think of the writing in these chapters compared to the rest of my writing? Do you have a preference? (If there’s no difference you can say that too. )
I do like the descriptions; it made the reading much more immersive. And it was good to get slower chapters. I think that it helped with the pacing of the overall story.
- I overly rely on pictures to describe the setting than write it out. Does this style work for you?
I think it works well, and I don’t feel like there are too many pictures. It’s simlit, so pictures should be the focal point, and I think it works well. Your poses convey a lot of emotion and your editing also helps to convey a lot of unspoken dialogue.
- Romance is hard to write and personal. There are some scenes and pictures that were too much for me in the story, but I’m a conservative person. How were they for you? Were any of them cringey? If yes, which one? so I can work on those. And do you have suggestions?
I didn’t see anything overly cringey. I thought all the romance scenes were tasteful and I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. I agree with the romance part being personal. Romance is hard to write, and what is overly cringey for one person might not be for another.
1. What are Athena's strengths and weaknesses? What do you think of Athena’s Character progression/development? How would you describe her?
I would say she is stubborn, and naïve. She wants to do what’s right, but sometimes she goes ahead without thinking things through and this gets her into trouble. She also doesn't take advice from others very well, and kind of has an attitude that she knows best. This could also be because she is a teenager, and thinks she knows better and doesn't want to take advice from her elders.
- Is her character realistic? Is she adequately fleshed out for reader understanding?
Yes, I think so.
- Any bits of her that you find confusing?
None that I can think of.
- What kind of person do you think she has become at the end of this story? What kind of person do you predict her to be in B2W?
I don't know for certain, but I'll just throw out some of my thoughts.
I think she will use the book for her own gain, and this will have a lot of negative consequences, what, I'm not sure. That's the only prediction I will make because I just want to read and be surprised. I could see her having many different outcomes depending on the choices she makes.
- She insists that Curtis is relatable and her soulmate at the lighthouse scene. Did you find her insistence of them being made for each other believable? Do you have a theory why she thinks so? (I’ve never elaborated on this)
I don’t really know if it’s believable to me personally. While I’m a romantic, I also don’t completely jump on board with the whole soulmate thing. But Athena as a character believes in soulmates, and I think that it fits with her character. I did like the lighthouse scene and I think it was the first time that we really got to see how each one feels about the other. I don't really have any theories, other than maybe it has something to do with Athena being a spellcaster? Not sure.
2. What are Curtis's strength and weaknesses? What do you think of Curtis’s Character progression/development? How would you describe him?
I think he is a little bit of a loner. He also takes on too much and doesn't ask for help. He tries to protect people by being secretive and in a way thinks he knows best. He became very protective of Athena in the end, which I understand from his past.
- Is he realistic and adequately fleshed out for reader understanding?
Yes, I think so.
- Did you find it strange that he cared for Athena with his background staring at violence every day?
I don’t find it strange at all. He is human, and is capable of feeling a range of emotions regardless of violence. I don't think he is as desensitized to his lifestyle as he lets on. I think maybe he admires and even envies Athena's innocence and her way of looking at life, and this might be one of the many reasons he wants to protect her.
I know I did a lot of explaining of Masato and Kirino’s character in the comments. But without the comments and purely relying on story:
3.Is Masato a believable character?Does his character/personality, his motivations, and actions make sense to you? Is his love for Kirino surprising? Does his metaphoric speech make sense to you? Did the final reveal provide ample explanation of all the schemey scenes he was portrayed in throughout the story? Did everything make sense?
Yes, I really liked his character. I don't have a very thorough answer because I have forgotten a lot of what he said, but I wasn't confused by any of the scenes. He was a very morally grey character to me, so I enjoyed learning about him and also seeing a softer side to him toward the end.
4.Is Kirino a believable character? Does her character, desires and actions (including final action ) make sense to you?
- Did her scene at the end come as a complete surprise? Were there enough clues given throughout the story for you to find her condition at the end believable/acceptable?
- Was her ‘flashback’ chapter believable?
- Do you think she loves Masato (at the end)?
This is a hard one to answer. I think she cares for him, yes, but I think she’s been in a very depressed state and that has kind of taken over her life and she’s probably just going through the motions at this point. I do think that she felt like she wasn’t in control of anything, and this was really her only means of taking back control. I don’t think it was a surprise, people can hide their true thoughts and feelings and Kirino kept a lot of things bottled up. We also didn’t really get a good look at her personality and motivations until later, so this was believable when we learned more about her.
5.Were Masato and Kirino’s complicated relationship believable?
Yes, I think so. They worked together and at one time, seemed happy together, but due to the nature of their work and the loss of their child, this sort of drove them apart. It was really complex, and I enjoyed learning about both of these characters.
6.Is Scorcher a believable character? Does his character, desires and actions make sense to you? (I think I gave him a monologue and two lines of dialogue explaining his perspective on life lol)
I don’t really remember his motivations, I just remember him being a really nasty person. I’m sure he had reasons for what he did. Like control and feeling superior.
7. What do you think about Kian? Then Carly?
I like Kian. He’s a good guy, and truly cares about Athena and Curtis. I didn’t really like Carly from the beginning. She’s kind of bossy, and I really don’t know what Kian sees in her. I don’t really think the two of them will last. Kian doesn’t seem as invested in the relationship as Carly does.
8. What do you think/feel about Dew?
I think Dew is well portrayed, she’s kind of rough around the edges, but I imagine her lifestyle has made her that way. And she tells it like she sees it, and I think it is good to have characters that can dole out some tough love.
9. What do you think about Grim?
I loved Grim in this. He was such a cool character. And I completely didn’t see the twist. Now I will have to go back and reread this and look for clues that I missed.
