Not down on any map

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The retired police Captain is very different from the gloomy one Sigstein remembers his “uncle” as. There isn’t the tiniest negative moodlet to feed on for the evil spellcaster. To the contrary, Hank’s newfound joy of life threatens to choke Sigstein. Even worse, instead of exploiting the suspect’s tenseness, like a sensible villain would, Hank tosses him a bone:

“Icebreaker interaction! Ask me a question - any question!”

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“Oh-kay... how long did you have to wait to be able to use that coffee mug of yours?”

(Coffee mug inscription: I don’t work here. Bye.)

“Oh, good one! The lads gifted this to me when I retired!”

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“Okay, joke aside.” Hank leans forward a little, ready to talk business now. “We are receiving reports from all over the city, reports of people being found dead in large puddles of water. Drowned. Often with no source of water nearby. Some of the victims were androids, who don’t even need to breath.”

“Uh-uh.” Sigstein waves his hand about. “If that was my doing, they wouldn’t have drowned from lack of air, but suffocated from lack of water.”

“You know what? That sounds almost logical.”

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“And YOU know what? That killer of yours is giving me a wrong reputation! Gimme back my wand and a badge and they’re in custody faster than you can say frog!”

“You serious about that? Hell, you sure SEEM serious...”

“I’m Connor-60, your Connor’s twin! Even though I was primarily used for security and counter espionage, my core program is that of a detective android.”

Who am I to deny a man his redemption arc, Hank wonders. But then again, who am I to endanger the people of this city to satisfy my desire for a heartwarming story?

“I don’t think the city is ready for that.”

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Sigstein rarely explodes, his malice is ice cold and perfectly orchestrated. Today, however, he throws a hissy fit:

“You gave DANIEL a badge to investigate Moonwood Mill! And even before that you promoted GAVIN to Lieutenant! TINA is in charge of training recruits and CHRIS allowed to carry a gun in populated areas. The first thing people looking for help here see in the foyer is RIKA and the Chief appointed two captains to this precinct, so that they’d keep each other from doing stupid plum! That’s the state of this cesspool of a city.”

“Yes”, Hank sais, not even trying to defend any of those decisions as sane. “Doesn’t it make you think, that I signed all of those decrees in my time, yet still hesitate to swear YOU in?”

“Well, maybe it’s because you’re SOBER now…”

Hank bites his lips. Fingers curl into fists under the table, but remain down there. In the elder’s back Officer Finnegan casts a death glare at the suspect. Dysfunctional as the DPD “family” can be at times, there are lows even they don’t sink to.

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After a while Hank rises. He walks around the table and offers Sigstein his hand.

“You know what? You got the job!”

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Perplexed the spellcaster takes Hank’s hand. Hank’s mimic remains like stone up until the moment Sigstein has signed the paperwork. Only afterwards does he move in so close that the new auxiliary jumps back in surprise.

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“Great!” Hank rejoices. “Now we can bring charges against you for the slightest acting up on the job. And don’t think none of my cops will report fellow officer you, or testify against you. Looking back at all the trouble you gave us in the past? Reserve a cell in the slammer already!”

“Oh. Well played, Captain Anderson. Well played.”