Schemes and Dreams

My name is Rayvn. That's not the name my mother gave me. I came into this world as Ava Thomas. I felt like Ava Thomas was a great name but not for an actress. My full name now is Rayvn Thomas Nash. Like every teenager everywhere, eventually we had to read Edgar Allan Poe's 'The Raven' for school. I had barely gotten past the title when I knew I had found my stage name. It really fit me. At the time I was into dressing in all black and I did flirt with the goth scene. Now I love my name because it feels exotic and mysterious. I wanted to thank my mom for sacrificing so much and being so supportive of my acting ambitions so I took her maiden name Nash as part of my stage name. I kept my dad's family name to honor him. He passed away during my sophomore year in high school. It was cancer that took him away from us. He was right beside my mother doing whatever it took to help me reach my dream right up to the very end.

I went through my 'When I grow up I want to be a princess and live in a big pink castle with the most handsomest prince ever!' phase. As I got older thoughts and dreams of movie stardom took over. As a teen I was constantly dreaming about becoming an actress. That's nothing new, lots of girls have had that same dream. I took it more seriously though. I took drama and theatre in school, and acting classes outside of school. Those dreams haven’t faded. They still motivate me. That's why I'm back here now. I'm going to have my star here one day. I haven't worked this hard to settle for anything less than superstar status. I will be back here one day to place my star on Starlight Boulevard and I'm not going to let anything stand in my way.
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My mom was once a personal assistant for a few different celebs including Judith Ward, briefly. Mom has always said she enjoyed her work even with Judith. She only left when dad got a promotion and they headed across the country for it. For all of her support and her openness about life in the movie business and Del Sol Valley, I feel like there is so much more she hasn't told me. I'm sure she has her reasons, whatever they may be. Maybe now that I'm here she'll offer up those things I feel like she hasn't told me. Recently, and I think it's just my imagination, but it feels like there's something specific she wants to tell me, but can't. Or won't. I don't know if it's related to 'The Business' or if it's something else entirely. If it's not my imagination I guess I'll find out what it is when she's ready to tell me.

Now that I'm settled into my apartment in the Spice Market neighborhood I can get busy becoming the legendary actress I was born to be. Follow me to the top if you dare, but hang on tight. I have a feeling this ride is going to be bumpy. My mom has always cautioned me about 'The Business', how cutthroat and ruthless it can be. "Del Sol Valley and superstardom", she says, "are not for the weak or faint of heart dear." Well neither am I. Are you ready to come along with me? Do you think you can keep up?
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I've been making a name for myself in the drag business for a few years now. Some people have called my rise meteoric. I suppose it is. I like that description. I'm from nearby Oasis Springs but left to start my drag career and my journey of self exploration elsewhere. I could have done all of it here, but I needed some time and space away from my...'family'.

They are a prominent name in Oasis Springs though God knows Nancy thinks she's a big deal everywhere. Geoffrey's only claim to any scrap of relevance, if you can call it that, is being married to Nancy Landgraab. I was born Johnny Landgraab and I was briefly known as Johnny Zest. You may have deduced already, my family and I do not get along. Like not at all. Especially Nancy and I. Fire and gasoline have a better relationship than we do. Nancy and Geoffrey can't handle the truth, my truth. I'm twice the lady Nancy will ever be and a bigger man than Geoffrey. Malcolm was never openly hostile like Nancy and Geoffrey, but he never stuck up for me against them or any bullies when we were in school. Anytime I was the victim of a bully whether it was words or fists he just sat there mute or walked away. He literally has not spoken to me, even when I was still living at home, in years. So I figure he's their mini me and they can have each other.

I'm still learning so much about myself, about who I am. I know for sure that I'm more comfortable in my own skin now than I have ever been at any point in my life. As sad as it sounds, I am so much better off without them in my life. They will never again be a part of my life until they learn to be loving, supportive, and non-judgmental. I'm not holding my breath or pausing my life to wait for that to happen.

Now that I'm ready for the big leagues of drag I'm back home. I live at 1010 Alto in Del Sol Valley. I took over the lease on the penthouse suite from Diego Lobo. Oh my god he's so cute. Sadly he's taken so I remain free to sample life’s buffet of manly goodies. If he should ever become available though...
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I'm ready for the confrontations that are surely coming with Nancy. She still feels like she can tear me down by verbally attacking me publicly or privately. I know her all too well she won't let this go. One way or another she's going to try something, but I'm ready for her. She came after me in public once before. Back then I was a nervous, awkward 17 year old who snuck out of the house to perform and to simply be me. I lied about my age to get into one of the smaller clubs. I performed there a handful of times before Nancy found out what I was doing. I was in my element but I was still a scared kid in heels, a mini-dress, and a metric ton of makeup who was just learning how to be an entertainer. It didn't take much of a push from her to topple me. That night was my first time wearing 5 inch heels so I was as unsteady and wobbly as a newborn kitten. You could have knocked me over with a feather. I can make jokes about it now. I think it infuriated her that I looked better in a mini dress than she ever did.

I was scared too because that night was the first time I was given a prime slot to showcase my talent. I wanted it to be as flawless as I could make it, and then here comes Nancy throwing a tantrum. She's screaming at me and everyone in the place about how they were encouraging a boy to wear a dress and to pretend to be a girl. If nothing else I learned I have a flair for comedy. You should have seen the look on her face when I said "Who's pretending." I was embarrassed that she was making me the center of attention for all the wrong reasons. I was mad too because she interrupted an epic rendition of 'Single Ladies' if I do say so myself. Nancy also made a spectacle of me as she yanked my wig off and forced me to remove my makeup in front of everybody all while still reading them the riot act.

She won that round. She informed the club manager that I was underage. He had no choice but to kick me out and bar me from coming back until I was old enough. He didn't like it, but he had no choice. The manager, the other queens, and patrons were all so supportive and lovely to me before Nancy drug me out. That’s why I call you, my fans and supporters, ’My Lovelies'. Because you are and you mean the world to me. She had no clue then about who I am, and she still doesn't. For me the labels boy/girl, male/female are meaningless, I'm neither and I'm a glorious blend of both. All I am is me.
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My home away from home is The Orchid Club. I perform there nightly, except Mondays and Tuesdays. It is an oasis of love, understanding, and entertainment. The only requirements to get in are embracing the rainbow of humanity in all its infinite shades and varieties, and to be fab-u-lous. To paraphrase a legend, “Why don’t you stop by and see me sometime.”
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Who wouldn't want to be me? I am the greatest actress there has ever been. I find it mildly humorous to see all these little starlets coming here thinking they’re going to be better than me. Somehow they think they can knock me off my perch. I ask you, when have you ever heard anything more preposterous? I applaud their drive to be great and to reach for golden ring. If you don't want to be great why even come here. Just be realistic my dears, you will never be as good as I am nor will you ever occupy my spot at the top in Del Sol Valley. I have that title all to myself. My advice to anyone who wants to be in my movies, don’t even think about walking onto on my movie set if you aren’t ready to be great. If you lack the talent to keep up with me and please me with your performance I will make your life miserable. I refuse to work with no talent hacks.

The stories you hear about me are exaggerated. They call me arrogant. I think I'm rather humble for someone who is flawless at every single thing she does. When you are as perfect as I am you should be allowed to show a certain amount of self confidence. They call me unreasonable, rigid and unappeasable. I simply have higher standards of excellence and I will not compromise. Why should I? They talk about how I have this obsession with mirrors. Being this unbelievably gorgeous does make it hard to keep my eyes from drinking in my flawless features. There is a nasty rumor that I've spent more than a million simoleans on botox treatments and other cosmetic procedures to look this good. Nonsense. There have been ridiculous rumors of me being a vampire or that I've made a deal with the devil for my youthful looks. I'm just naturally blessed with perfect age-defying beauty. I wish these rumors would die but they seem to have achieved a sort canonical truth in the minds of the petty and jealous. I have a good idea who's behind them and I'll take care of her when the time is right.
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I'm not above sharing what I know with the right students. They have to show me they have the will to succeed, the talent to be great, and know their place. It's at this point that lesser talents would say, "I will teach you but I won't reveal all my secrets." I don't have to worry, because even if I did teach someone everything I know they would still never be as great as I am. They would be worthy of calling themselves second best perhaps.

I would love to stand here and talk about myself all night long, but I have an awards show to attend and the worshipfulness of my fans to bask in.
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Our life would be perfect were it not for the nutcase that lives next door.
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That would be Judith Ward. I swear that woman is psychotic. In the five years since we built this place and moved in it’s been one thing after another. We got off on the wrong foot. I was here overseeing some last minute details before we moved in. I was distracted, and frankly the way she was dressed how was I supposed to know it was her. She was wearing this wide brimmed sun hat that was so big it could have shaded three heads. All I could do was assume there was a head under that hat somewhere. It looked like her shoulders were holding the hat up. I asked the hat who it was? That was the wrong question. She goes into a tirade, "How could you not know who I am? I am Judith Ward!" I followed up my first wrong question with another. I asked her how I was supposed to know it was her under there with that hat over her face? By smell? That went over about as well as you think it did. Since I met her I have learned that you can smell crazy...in her case it smells like Chanel Mademoiselle. I swear she pickles herself in that stuff.

Oh, there was the time she took us to court. She wanted to see the blueprints for our house so she could see the measurements. She wanted to make sure it wasn't bigger than hers. That was after she came over with her butler and a tape measure. You read that right, the fool was going to measure our entire property. Needless to say I wasn't having any of that and told her she had 3 seconds to get lost or she was going home bald. Thankful the judge denied her request. So she hired an architect to renovate her house to make sure it was bigger than ours. I sometimes wonder what it's like to have more money than brains. I also wonder what color the sky and the grass are in her world because child, that woman isn't living in ours. You've heard that saying about crazy people having bats in their belfry. She ain't got bats, she's got condors...or some other big dang bird up in there. She is N-U-T-S nuts! That's enough talk about her. I'm afraid if I keep talking I might accidentally summon her like some demonic homing beacon.

Let's talk about my boys for a second. The overgrown one is riding a wave in his career. Thorne's popularity is going through the roof as are his downloads. His concerts are selling out and he's hoping to start headlining tours soon. He loves to drop in for impromptu sessions at the local nightclubs. The Orchid Club is one of his favorites because the dance floor brings out big crowds most nights and his beats are perfect for the setting.
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Orange, well god love that boy but he's not the best student. He's more interested in video games and learning how to make music with his dad. He definitely takes after his dad with the bad student thing. Thorne was the worst student you ever saw. He was always more interested in music and girls than learning. I broke him of his fixation with chasing every woman in a short skirt. He knows how good he has it with me and he wouldn't be foolish enough to mess that up. He's starting to really rake in the simoleans with his music. As for me, well things are looking up. I'm still working on my acting hoping to land some big roles. I know you're wondering about working with you know who. That's not an issue, she only does movies and I prefer tv. The work in tv is steadier if you can land a juicy recurring role. I have a line on a couple of good ones. I don't want to go into details and jinx things but I feel like a really juicy role is coming for me. Our little family is in a good place right now and things are looking really rosy, all things considered.