I finished Assignment 2 for Lachlan: Light and Angle
And here I was, the odd one out, again.
Lying in bed, starring into the dark the first night at modeling school disappointment tugged at my soul and threatened to moisten my eyes. The other bed in the room would stay untouched. I’m the only guy in the camp. Where the girls would bunk in twos I’m, of course, on my own. OK, I knew from the letter of acceptance, that there would be only eight girls and I attending. But I had no idea the reality would come on so hard. I’m good at ignoring the un-pleasantries of life. But this was different; somehow I had put myself out there with no protection. All my life I had a safe nest at my grandparents’ home and they always have had my back. This is supposed to be an attempt to fly on my own.
I confess, when I applied I had my hopes up to meet one or two guys I could connect with on other levels than sports. Now I was just lonely.
Shoving aside the gloomy thoughts I focused on the main purpose I came here: to learn something new, something I always had an interest in and hardly dared to admit to myself: Fashion.
This week’s assignment was about lightning and angle in photography. We all assembled in the main classroom and I looked around. Everyone seemed to check out the other classmates and I caught a few tentative smiles flashed my way. I smiled back quite in the same manner.
I feel like oil in water, but I have to make an attempt to blend in, that is what I want.
The week began with a lecture about the different lightning devices, background, slave, spotlights, their use and possibilities. While I scribbled down notes I noticed the red head to my right watching me.
“Maybe recording is easier than writing down everything?” she joked.
I looked up and shrugged: “I’m not good remembering things. My thoughts and ideas are all over the place in my head. I better have a guideline jotted down on paper to revise all I have to know later.”
“Good point, I have an excellent memory, but maybe we could learn together in case of a test?
“Sure.” I smiled. Then I dug my head to hide the blush creeping up my cheeks. When had I ever agreed to do something with another person so full heartedly, and a mere stranger at that? This was totally out of my habit. A few moments later I glanced over but she seemed not to have noticed my uncomforting.
Light is the alpha and omega in photography. And it can be very, very uncomfortable.
We learned that a model has to deal with the fact that it had no control over what can be seen in a picture through an impressive demonstration.
One day there was a white backdrop. All the lights were turned on; it was blindingly bright.
“Today I want you to experience to stand in the spotlight. So everyone steps up here, say your name and just stay there for two minutes. And the others I want to look at the one in front, be the spectator, but no comments, please. You all have more or less acquainted each other, so this shouldn’t be too hard.” The teacher announced.
My throat tightened and my hands got sweaty. I don’t know, I’m used to stand in front of people from the café back home, or not? And I was grateful for the girl that volunteered to go first. Back in school I always thought the ones so eager were just craving for recognition, but honestly, it took some guts to put oneself out there. For the first time I appreciated that kind of enthusiasm and wished I could muster up some.
It was my turn to get up there. I said my name and stood. Not knowing where to put my hands I picked at my nails, becoming aware of it I dropped my hands, then clenched them behind me, all while I stepped from on foot on the other. I felt bared and at the same time not. I couldn’t see my audience, the blinding light in a way build a barrier. I could use that to concentrate on myself and feel safe. Realizing that I calmed and stood there relaxed for my remaining time. When I sat and watched the others up there I noticed that almost all must have felt the same. After a while they relaxed, it was beautiful to see. I felt a connection with my classmates I never knew before.
The rest of the week we had the coolest assignment ever: Everyone was to set up lightning and instruct the photographer to shoot a picture they felt comfortable in, focusing on what we learned about lightning and angle. We worked together and had a lot of fun trying out the different lights ourselves. Finally, everyone came up with a picture that pleased them, including me.
https://i97.servimg.com/u/f97/16/32/32/63/lachbo10.jpgYeah, that is me, a lot you don’t see and some bright spots I like to show. Looking at the photo now I can say it’s not bad, but I think I can work on putting more shades into the picture I show and open up more. I already feel more a part of this little group than I have felt a part of anything in my life.
Have to run right now, but I will be back and read all your great stories!
Good luck to everyone :cheer:
