When you feel you don't belong, here's a place where you can belong...In a recent conversation in the Kindness Bench, several of us brought up that we sometimes don't really feel we don't belong anywhere in the forums... what if... what if we didn't belong together?Here's a place that's somewhat in between the Writers' Lounge and Reading Circles: It's welcoming, like the Writers' Lounge, while being more personal, so we don't feel like strangers passing through a busy cafe... It's cozy, like a reading circle, without being a closed group or requiring a commitment to keep up with everyone's stories.It's a place where you can drop in and be greeted by Simmers and writers who care about you, your Sims, and your stories. And whenever you need to, you can drop out, knowing that when you're able to return, you'll be warmly greeted again!In other words, this is a place for friends.

Let's build our community...The great thing about intentional communities is that we can build them. We can decide what our customs and cultures are. Here are some things I'd like to aim for in the community of this thread. This is work-in-progress, and I hope it to be a collaborative work--please share the qualities you'd like us to strive for, as well as offering revisions to this list.The Fringe Culture:1) Welcoming - You'll get a warm welcome when you drop in.2) Friendly - Your posts will get friendly responses.3) Inclusive - Everyone is welcome.4) Fluid - We're not fixed in one style but flow, responding to the moment5) Flexible - The guidelines and communications styles can be adjusted as needed6) Respectful - We listen, strive to see diverse view points, and honor each person as an individual. We respect each other's boundaries.7) Kind - We treat each other with kindness.8) Goofy and funny - Yeah, we've got to let loose sometimes!9) Personal - We get to know each other, asking after projects and stories. We do our best to remember each other, even when we need to take long breaks! :) 10) Authentic - We don't pretend to be what we're not... and we don't have to because who we are is respected, welcomed, and appreciated.11) Open-minded - We know that we have diverse viewpoints, and we create space to listen to and consider each other's views, especially when they differ from our own.12) Accepting - We accept each other--with our differences, our uniquenesses, our strengths, our limitations, our quirkiness, and our sameness. In a culture like this, we can be ourselves, wholly, and still belong.**This is a draft! Please share your revisions, additions, and changes! What would you like to see this culture become?**

Our CustomsTo create the culture that we want to build, a few guidelines can help along the way: When you post, acknowledge the person who posted before you. This can be as simple as saying "hi," or as involved as responding to and building on the points that person raised. One of the reasons many of us sometimes feel we don't belong is because we might post a comment, and no one will response or even acknowledge us. If we establish the custom of acknowledging the person who posted before us, then each of us will be "seen" and we won't feel invisible in this community. ?**This is a draft and a work in progress: Please share your suggestions and ideas!

"CathyTea;c-15918248" wrote:reserved? Or maybe not! :) hi sis. see i acknowledged you but in my defense you can be hard to keep track of. your into everything at once. thats a compliment just didn't say it right.

"friendsfan367;c-15918338" wrote:"CathyTea;c-15918248" wrote:reserved? Or maybe not! :) hi sis. see i acknowledged you but in my defense you can be hard to keep track of. your into everything at once. thats a compliment just didn't say it right.Hi, Sissy! :) I love that you're the first one to post here! You can always keep up with me! :D

"CathyTea;c-15918364" wrote:"friendsfan367;c-15918338" wrote:"CathyTea;c-15918248" wrote:reserved? Or maybe not! :) hi sis. see i acknowledged you but in my defense you can be hard to keep track of. your into everything at once. thats a compliment just didn't say it right.Hi, Sissy! :) I love that you're the first one to post here! You can always keep up with me! :D its hard sometimes but i try.lol.

The Fringe | EA Forums

1,084 Replies

CathyTea
Legend
8 years ago
Let's build our community...

The great thing about intentional communities is that we can build them. We can decide what our customs and cultures are.

Here are some things I'd like to aim for in the community of this thread. This is work-in-progress, and I hope it to be a collaborative work--please share the qualities you'd like us to strive for, as well as offering revisions to this list.

The Fringe Culture:

1) Welcoming - You'll get a warm welcome when you drop in.
2) Friendly - Your posts will get friendly responses.
3) Inclusive - Everyone is welcome.
4) Fluid - We're not fixed in one style but flow, responding to the moment
5) Flexible - The guidelines and communications styles can be adjusted as needed
6) Respectful - We listen, strive to see diverse view points, and honor each person as an individual. We respect each other's boundaries.
7) Kind - We treat each other with kindness.
8) Goofy and funny - Yeah, we've got to let loose sometimes!
9) Personal - We get to know each other, asking after projects and stories. We do our best to remember each other, even when we need to take long breaks! :)
10) Authentic - We don't pretend to be what we're not... and we don't have to because who we are is respected, welcomed, and appreciated.
11) Open-minded - We know that we have diverse viewpoints, and we create space to listen to and consider each other's views, especially when they differ from our own.
12) Accepting - We accept each other--with our differences, our uniquenesses, our strengths, our limitations, our quirkiness, and our sameness.

In a culture like this, we can be ourselves, wholly, and still belong.

**This is a draft! Please share your revisions, additions, and changes! What would you like to see this culture become?**
CathyTea
Legend
8 years ago
Our Customs

To create the culture that we want to build, a few guidelines can help along the way:

When you post, acknowledge the person who posted before you. This can be as simple as saying "hi," or as involved as responding to and building on the points that person raised. One of the reasons many of us sometimes feel we don't belong is because we might post a comment, and no one will response or even acknowledge us. If we establish the custom of acknowledging the person who posted before us, then each of us will be "seen" and we won't feel invisible in this community.
?

**This is a draft and a work in progress: Please share your suggestions and ideas!
CathyTea
Legend
8 years ago
reserved? Or maybe not! :)
friendsfan367
Seasoned Newcomer
8 years ago
"CathyTea;c-15918248" wrote:
reserved? Or maybe not! :)

hi sis. see i acknowledged you but in my defense you can be hard to keep track of. your into everything at once. thats a compliment just didn't say it right.
CathyTea
Legend
8 years ago
"friendsfan367;c-15918338" wrote:
"CathyTea;c-15918248" wrote:
reserved? Or maybe not! :)

hi sis. see i acknowledged you but in my defense you can be hard to keep track of. your into everything at once. thats a compliment just didn't say it right.

Hi, Sissy! :) I love that you're the first one to post here! You can always keep up with me! :D
friendsfan367
Seasoned Newcomer
8 years ago
"CathyTea;c-15918364" wrote:
"friendsfan367;c-15918338" wrote:
"CathyTea;c-15918248" wrote:
reserved? Or maybe not! :)

hi sis. see i acknowledged you but in my defense you can be hard to keep track of. your into everything at once. thats a compliment just didn't say it right.

Hi, Sissy! :) I love that you're the first one to post here! You can always keep up with me! :D

its hard sometimes but i try.lol.
Madamelee
Legend
8 years ago
2nd comment its kinds of hard to get a word in edge wide on writer's lounge when it's like a coffee social at New Leaf's(which is why I don't go to New Leaf's one which is alternative wednesday/fridays)
CathyTea
Legend
8 years ago
"MadameLee;c-15918408" wrote:
2nd comment its kinds of hard to get a word in edge wide on writer's lounge when it's like a coffee social at New Leaf's(which is why I don't go to New Leaf's one which is alternative wednesday/fridays)

@MadameLee I know what you mean! It's fun to have so many conversations going on, but it is a little too noisy for an actual sustained conversation. It's more like shouting across a room...

I think maybe the extroverts might enjoy the lounge, while introverts like me sometimes need quiet corners...
friendsfan367
Seasoned Newcomer
8 years ago
"CathyTea;c-15918629" wrote:
"MadameLee;c-15918408" wrote:
2nd comment its kinds of hard to get a word in edge wide on writer's lounge when it's like a coffee social at New Leaf's(which is why I don't go to New Leaf's one which is alternative wednesday/fridays)

@MadameLee I know what you mean! It's fun to have so many conversations going on, but it is a little too noisy for an actual sustained conversation. It's more like shouting across a room...

I think maybe the extroverts might enjoy the lounge, while introverts like me sometimes need quiet corners...

but everything you do gets popular so we might have the same problem here.
UmbralFlowers
8 years ago
Hiii :D How has everyone been?