"Meggles;15243122" wrote:
*waves* I wish I had been lurking on this thread at the top of the month! I'm having all those doubts about not feeling welcome or appreciated in certain places.
My combat method has been to just suffer silently and distance myself because I believe it's all in my head. I've not been writing (because I don't find it enjoyable right now) and I haven't been playing either. I don't have anything interesting to contribute to the conversation; others have goals and schedules, and keep themselves going constantly.
It's also frustrating to see tight groups of friends form and not be *inside* the group. It's such an immature way to think that I KNOW isn't right or fair but that's where I am. I had this trouble in college (and NOW), too: being an extra person in a large friend group. I think many people probably feel that way. The leftover. If I happen to come up in someone's brain then I'm included, otherwise...
...AND THEN you sometimes take for granted those friends who will always think of you. I've gotten better about keeping up with those people. :heart:
I know if I read more simlit or watched letsplays I would have people reciprocating but I don't have the energy to do much of anything, honestly. Therefore... it's my own fault for not participating more in the community. That's how I feel, at least. Does anyone else feel that way?
Sorry to unleash that on you guys.
Lots of love!! :heart:
Oh. I feel this way ALL THE TIME!
For me, some of it (ok, 99% of it) is past conditioning with feelings of being left-out from childhood through high school being triggered. Some of it for me is seeing people have fun times together and not being part of that and not knowing how to quietly wave and get included... (which triggers past stuff, of course)... and some of it is, just whatever!
So.
Reality check for you, personally: You are very loved here, very popular, extremely well-liked and well-respected, and everyone seems to smile whenever you come around!
You may not notice that because we are separated by computer screens and miles and miles of miles! But I can see and feel how everyone opens up and smiles whenever you come around! :)
And please know that wherever I am, you have an immediate welcome! I'm one of your biggest fans!
I wonder what might be a good way for us to show welcome and inclusion for the times when some of us feel left out...
One thought I had regarding the Writers' Lounge was that we could be conscientious about replying to posts that no one replies to... and if, when someone posted, they were sure to acknowledge the post before them, then it would naturally happen that everyone was included...
I also set up the Kindness Bench so that it could work that way: if someone felt left out, they could pop over here and say, "Hey! I need someone to say hi to me!"
I always do try to swing by when others feel that way, but I'm not sure it makes a difference....
Reading Circles both help and hurt this. They help when the circles form supportive groups, and then when people can't participate, or when someone might notice that another circle seems more "chatty," they might not help.... The intention with them was to help.
What I'd really like is if we could have a Tea Party, where we could conjure connection and friendship whenever any of us felt left out!
So... I'm brewing up some delicious Kenyan tea... anyone want to join me?
https://ts4fanfic.files.wordpress.com/2016/07/whisbi1503.jpg?w=776
