"Meggles;15243122" wrote:
*waves* I wish I had been lurking on this thread at the top of the month! I'm having all those doubts about not feeling welcome or appreciated in certain places.
My combat method has been to just suffer silently and distance myself because I believe it's all in my head. I've not been writing (because I don't find it enjoyable right now) and I haven't been playing either. I don't have anything interesting to contribute to the conversation; others have goals and schedules, and keep themselves going constantly.
It's also frustrating to see tight groups of friends form and not be *inside* the group. It's such an immature way to think that I KNOW isn't right or fair but that's where I am. I had this trouble in college (and NOW), too: being an extra person in a large friend group. I think many people probably feel that way. The leftover. If I happen to come up in someone's brain then I'm included, otherwise...
...AND THEN you sometimes take for granted those friends who will always think of you. I've gotten better about keeping up with those people. :heart:
I know if I read more simlit or watched letsplays I would have people reciprocating but I don't have the energy to do much of anything, honestly. Therefore... it's my own fault for not participating more in the community. That's how I feel, at least. Does anyone else feel that way?
Sorry to unleash that on you guys.
Lots of love!! :heart:
@Meggles I totally understand. I feel really really far behind with reading, and even updating and promoting my own stuff. I'm in a really busy season of my life right now with grad school and my new job. I'm also trying to balance time with the spouse and friends and trying to take time for me. I recently set a goal to try and read a little each night whether it be Simlit or a novel or something else. Mostly because I love reading and as an introvert, I seriously need "me" time and chill time to do something I love.
I decided not to pressure myself to keep up with all the reading. I'm in three circles, and one is super chatty, the other I'm behind on and they're commenting frequently, and finally my own one is hanging on and it's hard to get people engaged. I don't blame anyone, but I think it's because everyone's busy and some people have dropped off with little to no warning which makes it tough. I want to invest. I want others to invest. But I don't always know how to breathe life into my own circle, and I don't want to appear like I'm hounding people or being obnoxious or I don't have a life outside of the Sims, not that the Sims aren't awesome.
Sometimes it's hard for me to see other groups thriving online in the forums or offline and I don't feel apart of it. Sometimes I feel like I'm being left behind because I'm so into school and work right now and I don't have as much time for reading, commenting, writing, and interacting with others online and offline. I've never really been in the "IN" crowd. I haven't had a close/best friend since college, and it makes me sad that my former "best-ish" friends have moved on with their lives and some days it feels like they've forgotten me. I've been working on making new friends, and I have a newish close friend locally, which is wonderful.
I struggle with anxiety and depression, and I've admitted that on the forums before. I think many people do. It's hard because some days I overanalyze and worry about the littlest things and I really don't need to, and other days I feel so angst-y about stuff and life and feeling like I'm going no where and like I overglamorize my busy life when it's really not all that great somedays. I've learned in those moments I really need to take care of myself. If that means I can't read or comment actively, then I need to take a break. If that means I can't write and update for awhile, so be it. If that means, finding other things to bring me happiness, peace, and relaxation, then I need to go find those things because once I'm centered and calm, it makes all of life more managemable and easy.
Sorry... don't want to appear like I've hijacked your venting with my own. I guess I meant all that to say I know how you feel.
The point is... it's okay to vent. Your feelings are valid and worthwhile and it's okay to have them and to say things about them - good or bad. It's okay because we all have feelings. It makes us human. You do what you need to in order to take care of yourself, and don't worry if you can't participate like others can. And also, don't feel bad about being on the outskirts. I don't really know you but I can say that whatever you do contribute is worthwhile because you are a person of worth and dignity.
Peace, love, and hugs! :)
