"AdamsEve1231;15247492" wrote:
I feel really really far behind with reading, and even updating and promoting my own stuff. I'm in a really busy season of my life right now with grad school and my new job. I'm also trying to balance time with the spouse and friends and trying to take time for me. I recently set a goal to try and read a little each night whether it be Simlit or a novel or something else. Mostly because I love reading and as an introvert, I seriously need "me" time and chill time to do something I love.
I decided not to pressure myself to keep up with all the reading. I'm in three circles, and one is super chatty, the other I'm behind on and they're commenting frequently, and finally my own one is hanging on and it's hard to get people engaged. I don't blame anyone, but I think it's because everyone's busy and some people have dropped off with little to no warning which makes it tough. I want to invest. I want others to invest. But I don't always know how to breathe life into my own circle, and I don't want to appear like I'm hounding people or being obnoxious or I don't have a life outside of the Sims, not that the Sims aren't awesome.
Sometimes it's hard for me to see other groups thriving online in the forums or offline and I don't feel apart of it. Sometimes I feel like I'm being left behind because I'm so into school and work right now and I don't have as much time for reading, commenting, writing, and interacting with others online and offline. I've never really been in the "IN" crowd. I haven't had a close/best friend since college, and it makes me sad that my former "best-ish" friends have moved on with their lives and some days it feels like they've forgotten me. I've been working on making new friends, and I have a newish close friend locally, which is wonderful.
I struggle with anxiety and depression, and I've admitted that on the forums before. I think many people do. It's hard because some days I overanalyze and worry about the littlest things and I really don't need to, and other days I feel so angst-y about stuff and life and feeling like I'm going no where and like I overglamorize my busy life when it's really not all that great somedays. I've learned in those moments I really need to take care of myself. If that means I can't read or comment actively, then I need to take a break. If that means I can't write and update for awhile, so be it. If that means, finding other things to bring me happiness, peace, and relaxation, then I need to go find those things because once I'm centered and calm, it makes all of life more managemable and easy.
Sorry... don't want to appear like I've hijacked your venting with my own. I guess I meant all that to say I know how you feel.
The point is... it's okay to vent. Your feelings are valid and worthwhile and it's okay to have them and to say things about them - good or bad. It's okay because we all have feelings. It makes us human. You do what you need to in order to take care of yourself, and don't worry if you can't participate like others can. And also, don't feel bad about being on the outskirts. I don't really know you but I can say that whatever you do contribute is worthwhile because you are a person of worth and dignity.
Peace, love, and hugs! :)
I think you're doing an amazing job with your activities!
When I was in grad school, it and my teaching assistanceship were all I could keep up with. I felt lucky when I could go for walks. And my "take-a-break" hobby was cooking our meals. It was seriously stressful, busy, and also wonderful--and so much work!
So when I see how much you're able to do with reading, writing, and posting here--and your other social activities and aspects of your life--I'm impressed! It seems really well balanced. And add onto that you just got a new job!
Anyway, I think you're doing great! I'm sorry that we had to jump ahead with the Racket-Rotter celebration, and we sort of did, since it had just finished. But that's ok, because when you finish we can jump back and talk about it again! I'm sure my understanding of it will have shifted once I've had a chance to process it more fully, so it'll be cool to talk about it again, even if it's a year from now.
