"CathyTea;15231613" wrote:
Hiya, Benchies! :)
So, the past few weeks, I've noticed a real rise in negativity, griping, and even bullying here on the forums--not in our friendly Storytellers' corner, of course, but just out generally. I don't even really venture out of the Storytellers' corner, but the grumps were so loud that I couldn't help but pick up on it even while staying in our neighborhood.
So, that got me thinking about ways that we can ramp up the kindness. You know how they say in relationships that for every put-down or mean comment, it takes 5 or more positive comments to make up for it? I bet the same thing applies to communities.
Sometimes, it's hard to know how to be kind in an effective way. I was thinking that maybe we could share some of our favorite approaches to sharing kindness and create a master list.
I'll start off by sharing some of my favorite approaches...
How to Be a Kindness Warrior
1. When you post on a thread, start by responding kindly to the person who posted before you. This could be a greeting, a validation, an agreement, an appreciation, or even an acknowledgment. This helps the person feel that he or she has been heard: it can feel awfully lonely when posting in a busy thread and no one responds or acknowledges you. If the next person to post just said "Hi," it could go a long ways towards helping the poster feel not invisible.
2. When you see that someone has made a post and hasn't received any replies, "likes", "insightfuls," or "awesomes," post a quick and friendly reply or click one of those buttons.
3. Don't join in with the drama.
4. And at the same time as you don't participate in the drama, if you notice that someone is being picked on, step up in some way. Maybe the bullying can be stopped with a few careful words. Maybe the person on the receiving side can benefit from a few words of encouragement and support through a PM or otherwise. Report the situation to a moderator if it seems hurtful and against Forum rules.
5. Avoid generalizations. For example, some have commented that a lot of the issues on the forums were caused by teenagers. This type of comment is disrespectful to the countless number of people on the Forums who are teens who exemplify respect and open-mindedness.
Here's a start! What are some of your favorite techniques? What tweaks, changes, or revisions would you like to have made to my start on this list?
The negative voices tend to be the loudest, but I've observed that the quiet, kind voices are the strongest. Thanks for your quiet, strong voice!
EDIT: Added @Pegasus143 's suggestion about avoiding generalizations.
I really like your list, Cathy. I'm mostly following number 2. I tend to only lurk outside my own thread and my reading circle, but I'm clicking "likes" and "awesomes" like a mad person sometimes. It's my way of responding when I don't feel like using words. :smile:
You always amaze me with your ideas how to improve this community, if it is reading circles or this thread or keeping track of other people's birthdays and creating respective birthday cards for them. I notice these things and I hold you in great respect. You should be canonized, Cathy! <3
